The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
I'm BACK! After much trouble finding a copy of it (I'm not really one to rent movies from Blockbuster or what not), I finally managed to watch Rocky, thus creating this. Enjoy my very well-planned parody of Rocky!
Parody #14
A Parody of Rocky
By: The Classic series
(The parody starts in the middle of a boxing fight. There are two fighters: Flash Man and Hard Man. For whatever reason, they continue exchanging punches.)
Bell - DING DING DING!
Flash Man - You fight like a pansy!
Hard Man - I AM A PANSY!
Flash Man - Um… If you say so…
(When the next round starts, Flash Man circles Hard Man as he is continuously slapped. Suddenly, after being head-butted by Hard Man, odd music starts playing and Flash Man gets an odd look in his eye. Then, he does like the Undertaker and proceeds to choke-slam him.)
Flash Man - YOU CRACKED MY FLASHBULB!
(Once he's declared the winner and he exits the ring, he walks up to Frost Man.)
Flash Man - Gotta a cigarette?
Frost Man - -holds up Wood Man- You can have this one.
Wood Man - Help me…
(In the locker room, Dr. Light walks up to Flash Man (who's playing Rocky) and begins to pay him.)
Dr. Light - Here's forty, fifty, five, seventeen, eleven, a thousand, two, fifty million and a half pesos. -hands Flash Man three pesos-
Flash Man - -to random guy- He never learned to count, did he?
(Later, as Flash Man is walking down the street, he stops by a pet store window, whistles, and a St. Bernard jumps through the window and attacks him.)
Flash Man - OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA DIE!
(After escaping the clutches of the evil dog, Flash Man continues walking down the sidewalk. As he turns the corner, the MM4 Robot Masters as standing around a burning Wood Man.)
Ring Man - Ready? Hit it!
(Toad Man turns a boombox on and the eight robots began singing along to 'I Like Big Butts')
Flash Man - Moving away. Just walking. Walking. Jogging. Just jogging. Okay, running. Run… Sprinting! Sprinting!
Ring Man - You're just standing there you know.
Flash Man - What do ya know? I am! -pushes Toad Man into fire.-
Toad Man - HELP ME!
(As Flash Man walks away, the MM4 robots shrug and continue singing. Once Flash Man enters his crappy apartment and turns on the lights, he walks over to a tank with miniature Wily clones in it.)
Flash Man - Hey guys! You want some food? Here ya go!
(Flash Man pulls out a 30-pound hunk of steak and drops it on the tank, crushing it. Afterwards, he walks over to a 500-pound statue of a white whale.)
Flash Man - You want to see Moby Dick? Here ya go!
(He throws the statue on top of it and it breaks the floor and crushes an old lady. After this, he walks over and stares at a picture of Bill Gates before walking to the fridge and pulling out Blizzard Man's head, which is labeled 'ice'. Then, he walks to his bed and puts it on his head. The next morning, Flash Man enters the pet store.)
Flash Man - Hey howdy! I'm looking for… Oh crap!
(Everyone nearby looks at a nearby sign that says 'Have you seen this St. Bernard?' Flash Man shakes it off and grabs a small container of 'Wily food'. He looks inside and sees little Megaman-shaped pellets inside. Upon purchasing the food, Roll walks into the other room where she promptly begins to take pictures of his butt.)
Flash Man - I've got a sudden feeling of deja vu… Oh well!
(In the construction yard, Flash Man walks down path while swinging a sword. He suddenly loses his grip and the sword stabs Crash Man. Protoman walks up, sees this, and looks up as a chorus of 'Hallelujah!' is heard. Then, he throws his hands in the air and runs into the street where he's hit by an old lady.)
Flash Man - Something tells me that this is my fault…
(Flash Man suddenly sees Charge Man on a lawnmower. He grabs a stick and begins to chase him. Unbeknownst to Flash Man, his 'stick' is actually Bomb Man's leg. He hits Charge Man in the head, knocking him off. The lawnmower continues driving forward until it hits a wall of boxes. The lawnmower explodes inexplicably.)
Flash Man - Watch out. It's overly-dramatic scenes, come back to haunt you.
(Flash Man helps Charge Man to his feet and looks at him.)
Flash Man - So… You got my beans? A man can't live without his beans.
(After gaining his beans, Flash Man walks down the sidewalk while absentmindedly tossing the can into the air. Then, the Wienermobile pulls up and he gets in.)
Flash Man - Oh, I want to be an Oscar Meyer…
Bubble Man - Save it or I'll cap ya!
Flash Man - Sorry…
(After some driving, Flash Man and Bubble Man get out and converse.)
Bubble Man - So, why didn't you shove a pineapple up his butt like I told you to?
(After the conversation ends, Tengu Man rolls down the window and gives Flash Man the finger.)
Tengu Man - Catch you on the flip side, biotch! -drives off-
Flash Man - I SHOULD'VE SHOVED A PINEAPPLE UP YOUR BUTT!"
(In the gym, Skull Man jumps rope while singing 'I'm a little princess dressed in blue'. Elsewhere, Flash Man tries getting into his locker, but fails. After a few seconds of trying, he gets angry, picks up Yamato Man, and smashes him into the locker. As he goes to storm off, Aqua Man walks up.)
Flash Man - Where is he?
Aqua Man - You don't want to mess with him. He's taking a dump.
Flash Man - So am I.
Aqua Man - What!
Flash Man - You heard me.
(As Flash Man storms off, Aqua Man slowly backs up. At the restrooms, Flash Man locates Ice Man's stall.)
Flash Man - How are you today?
Ice Man - Great! This is the first dump I've had in seven years!
Flash Man - That's nice.
Ice Man - And I don't remember eating this much corn!
Flash Man - I don't need to know that.
Ice Man - Look at it! It's beautiful! I'm gonna frame it!
Flash Man - And I'm going to throw up.
(After flushing and leaving the restrooms, the two begin to converse.)
Ice Man - Look at yourself! You fight like a flibbity-gibbity ape! With no arms! And three buttcheeks!
(A.N. It should be known that Kinetikai helped me a lot with these gags and that 'flibbity-gibbity' is a quotation that he'll probably use again, but not me.)
(After leaving the gym, Flash Man walks down the sidewalk and, for no reason, he shoves a pineapple up some random guy's butt. Flash Man then enters the pet store and strikes up a conversation with Roll. She turns for a second only to look back around and notice that Flash Man is gone. She also notices that the birds wave been replaced with KFC Extra Crispy chicken legs.)
Roll - Not again… Dammit, Flash Man!
(In some other building, Flash Man passes Fire Man, who is playing billiards. As Flash Man leaves the room, Fire Man hits the cue ball too hard and it hits Aqua Man in the head, knocking him out. After a brief argument with Megaman (who plays Paulie), he begins insulting Roll.")
Megaman - Roll's a loser! Roll's a knucklehead! Roll owes my five bucks!
(After entering a pub, Flash Man and a random bartender (who's oddly named Random Bartender) converse until Clown Man appears on the TV.)
Clown Man - Hey kids! Stay in school! Don't do drugs! Look both ways before crossing the street! Don't eat the mystery meat! Don't eat the yellow snow! Don't sniff the brown stuff! Always wear sandals! And don't tryst Whitey!"
(Random Bartender and Flash Man resume conversation.)
Flash Man - Look at him! He's a freaking clown!
Random Bartender - You callin' Clown Man a clown?
Flash Man - No, I'm calling him a purple-haired umbrella salesman. Of course I'm calling him a clown!
(Clown Man continues talking.)
Clown Man - Be smarter, not a farter!
Reporter - Thanks for the advice, chump.
Clown Man - What?
Reporter - I said champ.
(Moments afterwards, Flash Man puts a pineapple on the bar top and gets up to go.)
Flash Man - Put that up your business hole.
Random Bartender - Maybe I will!
(Random Bartender throws his hands in the air as Flash Man leaves.)
Random Bartender - Fine! You want me to take a shot? I'll take a shot!
(Random Bartender holds a gun to his head and blows his brains out.)
Random Bartender - Didn't feel a thing!
(After leaving the bar, Flash Man walks by a crowd.)
Random Guy - Hey, Rocky! Want a bottle?
Flash Man - Okay.
(Flash Man takes a drink and spits it in the group leader's face.)
Flash Man - What is this? This is a '68 Pinot Noir! I only drink '57 Chardonnay, you piece of crap!
(Flash Man breaks the bottle over the leader's head.)
Flash Man - I bid you good day!
(After taking Kalinka (MM4) from the group for no reason, a conversation breaks out.)
Flash Man - Stop smoking! It'll make your teeth yellow!
Kalinka - I like yellow teeth.
Flash Man - It'll make your breath smell like garbage.
Kalinka - Maybe I like garbage.
Flash Man - Well, let's find out.
(Flash Man picks her up, throws her in a dumpster, and continues on his way. After climbing out, Kalinka soon rejoins him.)
Kalinka - I'm gonna have to use a dirty word.
Flash Man - What?
Kalinka - Turnip.
Flash Man - That's not a dirty word.
Kalinka - It is if you sit on one.
(Kalinka and Flash Man continue to talk as they walk through a parking lot.)
Flash Man - You don't want to hang out with those guys. They're coconuts. You hear me? They're lemons!
(Some random bum walks out of the alley.)
Random Bum - Hey, man! Don't dis the fruit!
(The conversation continues.)
Flash Man - You hang out with nice people, you get nice friends. You hang out with crappy people, you get Pharaoh Man as a friend. You want that?
Kalinka - OH GOD NO!
Pharaoh Man - -walks in- Hey! That ain't cool, man!
(Some time later, some random executives argue about who Clown Man shall face next.)
Random Executive - I've hosted every damn fight in every damn country of this damn world! But I'm busting my damn ass over this one! What do you want me to do, dammit?
Clown Man - I want you to clean your mouth out with soap, bitch!
(Clown Man starts as he thinks of something.)
Clown Man - I'll tell you what I'll do. On Jan. 1, I'll give a snow-white underdog a chance to fight me. Why? 'Cause I'm diabetic!
Random Executive - You can't do that!
Clown Man - Why not?
Random Executive - Because on Jan. I, you've got your monthly bikini wax.
Clown Man - Aw, Man! Last time, I had to ice my crotch for a week!
(After Clown Man cancels his bikini wax, the head executive laughs.)
Head Executive - Apollo, I like that! It's very American!
Clown Man - No, it's very Canadian! Blame Canada! For all that hockey hullabaloo! And that bitch Anne Murray too!
(Later, Flash Man, Bubble Man, and Tengu Man all converse about Roll.)
Bubble Man - I hear that she's retarded.
Flash Man - She's not… Wait… Yeah, she's retarded.
Bubble Man - Take her to the zoo. I hear retards like the zoo.
(Ring Man pops out of the backseat.)
Ring Man - Are we going to the zoo?
(Bubble Man gives Flash Man fifty bucks.)
Bubble Man - Here's fifty bucks. You and the retard have fun. Buy her some cotton candy.
Ring Man - Yay! Cotton candy!
Bubble Man - You don't get any!
(In Clown Man's office, a female secretary walks up to Clown Man with a cup of coffee.)
Secretary - Would you like some more coffee, Mr. Clown?
Clown Man - No thanks, Sherman.
Secretary - It's Shirley.
Clown Man - Okay. Whatever, Billy.
(Later, Clown Man and executives look for Clown Man's next 'victim'.)
Clown Man - This is what I'm looking for! The Canadian Maiden!
Executive - Shouldn't you face a man?
Clown Man - Good point. How about the Italian Stallion?
Executive - Antonio Banderas?
Clown Man - No. That's the guy who plays Zorro.
Executive - Oh, right! Right!
(Clown Man starts talking about his choice.)
Clown Man - It's all about the name. The Italian Stallion. The media will eat it up like waffles and I like my waffles. Mmmm… Waffles… Now, who discovered America? A Canadian! What's the next best thing? An Italian!
(Clown Man pictures the fight billboard.)
Clown Man - I can see it now: Apollo Creed vs. Godzilla. Sounds like a damn monster movie.
Executive - You're fighting the Italian Stallion.
Clown Man - Really? Is he Canadian?
Executive - No, sir.
(Elsewhere, Flash Man walks down the street where several kids are playing stickball.)
Flash Man - Hey! What are you doing with that bat?
Random Kid - I'm beating up little Jimmy!
Flash Man - Well, you're doing it all wrong. It's like this! -begins beating Jimmy-
(Later, Flash Man talks to Megaman.)
Flash Man - Is she excited?
Megaman - She's very excited. Look at my swollen testicles.
(Flash Man and Megaman walk into Roll's house as she steps into the hallway holding a pot. She sees them, flips them off, and walks back into the kitchen. After an argument breaks out, Megaman opens the oven, grabs the turkey, walks to the backdoor, and opens it.)
Megaman - Ya want the turkey?
(He throws the turkey outside and it is snatched out of midair by the St. Bernard who runs off into a landmine.)
Megaman - Oh shit. Well, I'll go get another one. Damn turkey-snatching dog.
(After Roll runs into her room, Flash Man talks through the door and tries cheering her up.)
Flash Man - Yo, Roll. It's me, Flash Man. Again. Uh, listen…
(Flash Man pauses and sniffs the air.)
Flash Man - Did you fart?
(Outside, Flash Man and Roll talk.)
Roll - It's Thanksgiving, you know.
Flash Man - To you, it's Thanksgiving. To me, it's National Cheesy Poof Day.
(After taking Roll to an ice arena, Roll starts skating.)
Roll - Aren't you skating?
Flash Man - No. I haven't skated since I was 15, which is when I started tap-dancing.
(As Roll skates, Flash Man dislocates his knee. She starts freaking out when he holds his hands up.)
Flash Man - No! No! It's an old wound. See?
(Flash Man snaps off his leg.)
Flash Man - Oh. I guess it doesn't bend like that.
(Later, Flash Man tries getting Roll into his apartment.)
Flash Man - Wanna come in?
Roll - I've gotta go.
Flash Man - I've gotta go too. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now! Now come on in and we can go together.
(Once inside, Roll asks if Flash Man has a phone.)
Flash Man - If you want me to call someone, I will. -sticks head out of window- Ricola!
(Minutes later, Flash Man corners Roll.)
Flash Man - Do me a another favor. Take off your hat.
(Flash Man takes the hat off to reveal a purple Mohawk.)
Flash Man - SWEET JESUS JUJU BEANS!
(Flash Man shoves the hat back on as Roll smiles wearily. Seconds later, they begin talking again.)
Flash Man - I ain't teasing ya. I just wanna frisk ya.
Roll - What?
Flash Man - Kiss ya. I meant kiss ya.
(After kissing Roll, Flash Man looks up and smiles.)
Flash Man - I like being in the corner. How 'bout you?
Roll - Your breath smells like cabbage and poo gas.
(The next day, Ice Man and Flash Man argue.)
Flash Man - How come you've always been sticking pineapples up my butt?
Ice Man - Ya wanna know?
Flash Man - I wanna know!
Ice Man - Ya wanna know?
Flash Man - I wanna know!
Ice Man - Ya sure you want to know?
Flash Man - I'm sure I wanna know!
Ice Man - Okay!
(A brief silence follows.)
Ice Man - What were we talking about?
Flash Man - I wanted to know!
Ice Man - Oh, you wanna know, do you?
Flash Man - I WANNA KNOW!
Ice Man - Who are you?
(A few days pass and Flash Man meets Bubble Man in the alley.)
Bubble Man - Listen, the reason I brought you here is because… Uh… Actually, I need to meet some guy named Pedro. Keep an eye out.
(Some time later, Ice Man enters Flash Man's house and looks at the miniature Wily-tank, which has been repaired.)
Ice Man - What the hell is that?
Flash Man - That's a floor. You stand on it.
Ice Man - Oh, right. Right. I thought it was a large cabbage.
Flash Man - Okay…
Ice Man - And WHAT in the HELL is THAT?
Flash Man - Those are your testicles.
Ice Man - Oh, right. Hi, boys.
(Ice Man continues to talk after some… troubling images…)
Ice Man - I've been in this business for fifty years!
Flash Man - Really? You look more like a nine-year-old Eskimo.
(Flash Man gets slapped.)
Ice Man - Shut ya face, boy! I've got hemorrhoids bigger than you! With bigger eyebrows!
(Ice Man continues to talk to Flash Man through the bathroom door.)
Ice Man - I'm 76 years old.
(A small fart is followed by silence. Ice Man nudges the door open.)
Ice Man - I said I'm… HOLY SHIT!
(A huge fart follows and the door is blasted off of its' hinges, sending Ice Man flying across the room. Flash Man steps out.)
Flash Man - Man, if you think that was bad, you should see me at the Burritofest at Jimmy's Taco Hut. Think Hiroshima 2.
(As Ice Man goes to leave, Flash Man begins yelling.)
Flash Man - I COULD BE GREAT! I COULD BEAT 'EM ALL!
(Ice Man turns around wearily.)
Ice Man - Listen kid. I'm sorry, but…
Flash Man - YOU STAY OUTTA THIS! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND THAT LAZY ASSHOLE RIGHT THERE!
(Flash Man points accusingly at the toilet, which is now overflowing. Ice Man slowly backs out of the apartment. Once Ice Man leaves, he punches the wall twice. The second time, he punches through the wall and knocks an old lady down the stairs. The next morning, Flash Man gets up and walks to the fridge. He pulls out twelve eggs and breaks them into a glass.)
Flash Man - I need my protein.
(Flash Man takes the contents and drops them into his pants.)
Flash Man - Ah, eggs! -rub- -rub- -rub- Shiny shiny shiny!
(He picks up a syringe.)
Flash Man - Ah, here's that protein.
(He injects himself with it and immediately begins seeing pink bunnies and dancing mushrooms that start singing 'It's A Small World After All'.)
Flash Man - Whoa. I think that that was the wrong syringe.
(Once he recovers and once Flash Man runs down the street, about a dozen cats run up to him and jump on him, causing him to flail and run around in circles. He eventually runs onto the sidewalk and scares the crap out of the old lady from the stairs.)9
Old Lady - -in a disturbingly burly and manly voice- HOLY SHIT!
(The old lady runs into traffic where she's hit. Later that day, Flash Man enters the meat factory with Megaman. However, instead of meat, full cows are hanging. Suddenly, one starts mooing.)
Megaman - Shut the -bleep- up!
(Megaman shoots the cow in the head with a handgun as Flash Man jaw drops. However, it breaks off and falls to the floor. Once he reattaches it, Megaman gives him some meat.)
Megaman - Are you screwing my sister?
Flash Man - I'm screwing her over, if that's what you mean. -turns around- I'm gonna go. It's too cold in here. My testicles have already shriveled to raisin size.
(A.N. This is a disturbing parody of a famous scene. Be warned.)
(Flash Man suddenly stops and begins to punch a cow over and over, even after it stops squirming.)
Megaman - Hey You're breaking the ribs!
(Megaman watches as Flash Man continues.)
Megaman - On second thought, that's an excellent way to beat your meat.
(Flash Man's hand stops in midair.)
Flash Man - I'm just going to go now.
(Later, in the gym, Flash Man proceeds to beat a hanging Top Man to a pulp as Metal Man holds him.)
Top Man - Uh, guys/ OW! This isn't funny. OW! Could you let me down? Please? OW! AH! DAMMIT!
(Outside the gym, Flash Man runs down the sidewalk in a boxer's stance. For no reason, as he passes Star Man, who is licking a lollipop, Flash Man clotheslines him. Seconds later, Flash Man stops when he sees Roll on her porch.)
Roll - Hey, I got you a surprise.
Flash Man - Really? What?
(As Roll turns around as the St. Bernard jumps through the window and attacks Flash Man.)
Flash Man - -dog calls that gradually turn into screaming-
(Then, as Roll starts to turn around again, the dog runs off.)
Roll - I got you… What the hell?
(Later, Flash Man runs down the sidewalk dragging the adopted St. Bernard. Then, as the meat factory interview begins, Flash Man starts.)
Reporter - …We will ask him about his unique training method. But first…
Flash Man - No no no! I'll answer it now. Basically, you take some meat. Then, you beat it. The only surefire way to become a champion is to beat your meat.
(Silence follows.)
Flash Man - I beat my meat at least three times a day!
Reporter - Okay… I'm sure many of our home viewers are beating their meat as we speak.
(That night, Megaman comes home drunk. He tells them to get out of the house, but they don't. So he pulls out a pat.)
Megaman - Whenever you need meat, I get it for you! You need advice, come to me! You need more pineapples, I'm the man! You need 75 tons of Vaseline…
Flash Man - We get it. We get it.
(The next day, Ice Man pumps Flash Man up as he trains.)
Ice Man - You'll spit out nails, kid! You'll belch thunder! You fart out bags of Cool Ranch Doritos! Like that guy said, you'll eat like a winner and crap like you swallowed an atomic bomb! It'll be World War 2 all over again!
(The Rocky theme begins playing as Flash Man runs through a slum. For no reason, a flaming Wood Man runs behind him and is soon pursued by homeless people. Then, someone throws a flaming dog of dog crap at Flash Man. As the scene changes, Flash Man punches a small punching bag repeatedly. The camera then pans out to see Auto with a look of agony/ anguish/ mild enjoyment on his face.)
Flash Man - I'm afraid to look up…
(After a few brief scenes, Flash Man runs down a marina. Suddenly, Wood Man, who's still flaming, runs past him as the homeless people continue their pursuit. As Flash Man jumps around after scaling the stairs, he is knocked down them by an old man in an electric wheelchair.)
Old Man - Excuse me, young man.
(All the while during these scenes, the slightly-edited version of the Rocky theme plays.)
Rocky Theme Choir - Flying hiiiiiiigher! As on fiiiiiire! He's a fiiiiiighter! But he's only got one baaaall!
(On the day of the fight, Roll stops him.)
Flash Man - My, you're looking good today.
Roll - -blushes- Thank you.
Flash Man - Yeah. It looks like you've got dough on your head, but that can be overlooked.
(As the announcer talks, the camera turns to him. It looks like he's wearing Dr. Frankenstein's hair.)
Announcer - There is electricity everywhere. Even in my hair.
(Instead of George Washington, Clown Man enters as Jason. For no reason, he stabs someone from the crowd in the chest with the machete. Then, as Clown Man plays to the crowd, Flash Man chuckles.)
Flash Man - Is he talking to me?
Ice Man - Yeah.
Flash Man - What's he saying?
Ice Man - Sucky sucky two dolla!
(As the microphone is lowered, the announcer notices that it is the size of a sofa.)
Announcer - SWEET -squish-
(After Junk Man talks to Flash Man, he walks over to Clown Man, hugs him, and knees him in the groin.)
Junk Man - You still owe me ten bucks!
(As Clown Man and Flash Man walk towards each other, Clown Man points at him.)
Clown Man - I want you! In my bed! Tonight! After I whoop yo' ass!
(Once the fight begins, the two circle each other and Clown Man continuously punches Flash Man in the face while saying 'Who's Yo' Daddy?' The announcers notice this begin to announce it.)
Announcer 1 - Apparently, Clown Man is unsure of who Flash Man's daddy is. A good question to ask.
Announcer 2 - My daddy's an alcoholic.
Announcer 1 - We all know, Roy. We all know.
(While the announcers say that Clown Man is dancing around the ring, he begins to Riverdance while swinging his tongue around like Gene Simmons. Later, after Flash Man gets pummeled in the corner, he begins hugging Clown Man.)
Flash Man - Hmmm… You smell pretty…
(Once the round ends, Flash Man falls into his corner.)
Flash Man - How's it look, Mick?
Ice Man - Eh, you'll probably die. Plus, you've got a jellybean stuck in your nose. Aside from that, you're fine.
(Near the end of the second round, Flash Man begins to punch Clown Man.)
Flash Man - This… Is… For… Forgetting… My… Fifteenth… Birthday!
(Afterwards, Flash Man gets back to his corner.)
Flash Man - I can't see nothing. Cut me, Mick.
Ice Man - YEE-OKAY!
(Ice Man stabs a kitana through Flash Man's forehead.)
Ice Man - HEHEHE… CUT CUT CUT!
(At the end of the movie, Flash Man calls out over the crowd.)
Flash Man - Adrian! Adrian! You still owe my five bucks, you bitch!
Whoa! That was the longest chapter since I was working on Video Game Village! Anyways, the next chapter is a parody of the 2005 remake of The Poseidon Adventure. Until then, please Read and Review!