The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
In this chapter, the Classic series takes a little trip to a mountain town named South Park. As for the vulgarity, let's just say with this chapter alone, I'd have to rate this an 'M' fanfic. Anyways, here's parody number eighteen!
Parody #18
A Parody of South Park
By: The Classic series
(The setting is a room in a house in South Park. An alarm clock lays in pieces on a bed-stand and Astro Man floats up to a bed.)
Astro Man - Sweetie? Sweetie? Oh god, I can believe I agreed to this… Sweetie?
(A mass of blanket stirs.)
Astro Man - It's time to get up.
(They stir some more.)
Astro Man - ASTRO CRUSH!
(Pink meteors rain down and demolish the house, leaving the bed and mass of blankets unscathed. A figure rises from them.)
Gyro Man - WHAT?
Astro Man - It's time to go to school, Kyle.
Gyro Man - You know what? -Bleep- school!
(Astro Man reaches back and tries to punch the groggy Gyro Man, but his hand is bent unnaturally.)
Astro Man - Oh God! My hand! Damn wind currents!
Gyro Man - Whatever… I'm outta this dump. -flies off-
Narrator - Elsewhere…
Flash Man - -creates large flash- Wakey! Wakey! Eggs and bakey!
Gravity Man - -rubbing eyes- Dude! What the dilly-o!
(Flash Man begins dancing and saying 'Time for school!' as if he's in a musical.)
Gravity Man - Why was I born into a Catholic family?
(He reverses gravity and Flash Man flies through the ceiling and towards the sky.)
Flash Man - You'll never crush my dream!
Gravity Man - Too bad you've crushed mine. Honestly…
(As Gravity Man leaves for school, Star Man walks into a different room.)
Star Man - This is the last time I'm calling you. Now get your fat ass out of bed or…
Hard Man - I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!
Star Man - Wait? Why am I your 'mom'? And 'dad'?
Hard Man - Everyone says you look gay. You're the perfect person for the part. Now move! I need food.
Star Man - Oh… I'm not gay… Owning pink tights doesn't make you gay… Does it?
(Star Man suddenly starts.)
Star Man - …AND I DON'T HAVE TWO KINDS OF GENITALS! At least… not… well… wait! NO! I DON'T!
Narrator - Elsewhere still…
Grenade Man - Boy! Get your butt down here! It's time for school!
(A series of oddly-timed thumps and muffled expressions are heard. Then, Ice Man is seen falling down the stairs one at a time like a domino. Once he reaches the bottom, it is seen that his hood is pulled so tightly around his face, only his eyes are visible.)
Ice Man - Mhph hpmhpmhh mhph! (Translation - That really hurt!)
Grenade Man - I'll bet. Time for school. Buh-bye now!
Ice Man - Mhph Mphh! (Bye, Mom!)
(Outside of school, the four friends meet.)
Gyro Man - Hey.
Gravity Man - Hi.
Hard Man - Wassup, bitches?
Ice Man - Mhhpmhph mhhp mhph! (Howdy home slice!)
Gyro Man - Hey, Gravity Man. Watch out. Here comes 'Wendy'.
Gravity Man - You're the playing Kyle, remember?
Gyro Man - Oh yeah. -turns and hurls on Pharaoh Man's face-
Pharaoh Man - Ew! Why do I have to be Wendy?
Gyro Man - Every time I see you, I'll hurl on your face. What's not to love!
Pharaoh Man - Oh…
(Pharaoh Man walks away as Spark Man hobbles up to them. He is using his arms as crutches.)
Spark Man - H-H-Hey g-g-g-g-guys! W-W-W-What's up?
Gravity Man - Okay… I've just come to a conclusion.
Spark Man - W-W-W-What's that?
Gravity Man - I am NOT about to listen to that the whole episode.
(Gyro Man and Ice Man grab one of Hard Man's arms as Gravity Man reverses the gravity again.)
Spark Man - T-T-T-This really s-s-s-sucks!
Ice Man - Mhhp phmh! (Thank God!)
(Charge Man rolls up in a wheelchair. A stupid expression is on his face.)
Hard Man - What's with you?
Charge Man - TIMMAY!
Gyro Man - Oh dear God! No!
Charge Man - TIMMAY!
(Gravity Man reverses the gravity once more, barely letting Ice Man and Gyro Man grab onto Hard Man again.)
Charge Man - TIMMAAAAAAY!
Gravity Man - I swear! I could break into a sweat doing this all day.
(The wall of a nearby building explodes and Frost Man runs up to them.)
Frost Man - Don't forget to bring a towel!
Gravity Man - And he's immune too! Dammit!
Hard Man - What don't you bother someone else, fatass?
Frost Man - I forgot where I was going…
Hard Man - Are you -bleep-ing kidding me!
Frost Man - I could remember if I got high!
Wood Man - Oh dear God! No!
(Frost Man reaches over and grabs both Wood Man and Heat Man. Frost Man lights Wood Man and then tosses his 'lighter' behind him. Then, he deeply inhales. The Popeye theme plays.)
Gyro Man - Where's the music coming from?
Frost Man - Oh man… I have no idea what the popsicle's goin' on.
Hard Man - Who gives a shit? I'm gonna be late for class! -runs off-
Gyro Man - He's got a point. Leave him and come on!
(Thefour friends leave as Frost Man blows the smoke of out his mouth. Once in the classroom, the bell rings and Plant Man walks up. He has his hands behind his back.)
Plant Man - Okay, children. Listen up. Today, we're gonna learn about all the reasons Bush is a -bleep-ing moron. Isn't that right, Mr. Hat?
(Plant Man reveals his hand, which is shoved up a miniaturized Ground Man's butt.)
Ground Man - I'm not saying a damn thing until you get your nasty ass hand out of my ass!
Plant Man - That's a bad Mr. Hat! Don't make me replace you with Mr. Stick!
(Plant Man brings his other hand out and a miniaturized Pirate Man is on it.)
Pirate Man - Yar! It appears that I have a hand going up me cornhole. Arrgh… at least I don't have to walk his plank again.
(Everyone remains silent until Gravity Man begins smashing his head on the desk repetitively. Moments later, the four Robot Masters find themselves in Mr. Mackey's office.)
Hard Man - You've got to be -bleep-ing kidding me.
(The camera turns to show Megaman with a weird look on his face.)
Megaman - So, um… Why are you here, m'kay?
Gravity Man - Don't you dare start with me! I WILL force you into the cosmos! ARMAGEDDON FOR THE INFIDELS! YOU WILL BURN IN THE FURY OF A THOUSAND SUNS!
(A brief silence follows.)
Megaman - I see… It appears as if you need a day or two off, m'kay.
Gyro Man - Really?
Megaman - Of course not! I'm not stupid, m'kay.
Hard Man - Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I order you to stop, God dammit!
Megaman - You may want to look into anger management, m'kay.
Hard Man - AHHH!
(Hard Man jumps over the desk and begins to beat Megaman to a pulp. Gravity pauses and begins pounding his head on the desk again. After a breif fit,the three slink away and walk into the cafeteria.)
Gyro Man - Oh boy… Here comes Chef.
(Bass, who plays Chef, bounces up to the three without moving or lifting his legs.)
Bass - Hey kids.
(The three say 'Hey Chef' in unison.)
Gyro Man - What's with the movement?
Bass - Oh! This is how they move in the actual cartoon. So, I thought 'Why not move like this during the parody?'
Gravity Man - Um… 'Cause it's stupid.
Bass - Whatever. -bell rings- Oh! Time for recess. Now get outta here. Chef's got some things to take care of. -begins singing horribly-
Ice Man - -walks off- Mhhpphmhpmhh… (Whatever…)
(Once outside, Pharaoh Man begins to walk up to Gyro Man. He changes his mind when he starts running towards him. In the end, Pharaoh Man gets barfed on again. Anyways, let's see what's going on, shall we?)
Hard Man - Hey, guys.
Gyro Man - Where have you been?
Hard Man - Beating the crap out of Mr. Mackey.
Gyro Man - Really?
Hard Man - I know what could really spice this parody up.
Gyro Man - What?
Hard Man - Oh…
Gyro Man - Don't you dare!
Hard Man - Oh…
Gyro Man - I mean it!
(A brief silence follows.)
Hard Man - Oh… Kyle's mom is a big fat bitch! The biggest bitch in the whole wide world! Eh…
(Hard Man stops and places a hand to his chin.)
Hard Man - Damn! I forgot the words.
Gravity Man - Thank God.
Hard Man - However…
Gyro Man - What?
(Hard Man begins doing the Russian dance.)
Hard Man - I will do the German dance! Dance for me! Dance for you!
Unknown Voice - Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidy ho!
Hard Man - -stops singing- Oh boy…
(Guts Man jumps out of the ground.)
Guts Man - Hidy ho!
Gravity Man - Beat it. I WILL force you into the cosmos! ARMAGED-
Hard Man - We get it.
(Guts Man gasps and runs off.)
Gravity Man - That's actually proving to be pretty effective. But who took a dump that size?
(For no reason, the mayor of South Park walks up.)
Bubble Man - Here, kids. Have some free spray paint. Enjoy! -runs off-
Gyro Man - Okay…
(Bubble Man runs behind a wall where Officer Barbrady is waiting.)
Bubble Man - As soon as the peckers spray graffiti on the wall, you arrest them. Got it?
Tengu Man - Yes, ma'am. I do.
Bubble Man - Stop calling me ma'am. I'm a guy, ya know.
Tengu Man - Anything you say, ma'am.
Bubble Man - Ugh…
(Gyro Man, Gravity Man, and Hard Man pick up the spray paint and being spraying it like air freshener.)
Ice Man - Mhph phhmhmhp hphm. (It's really hot.)
Gyro Man - Then take your hood off. Kenny does it. Once or twice…
Ice Man - -takes hood off- Thank God! I thought I was going to…
(Ice Man's head explodes. Cloud Man and Cut Man stop a few feet away and the kids turn to him.)
Gyro Man - Oh my God! You killed Ice Man!
Gravity Man - You bastards!
(Bass bounces up.)
Bass - Actually kids, Ice Man died due to global warming. And spraying aerosols, like spray paint, contributes to that.
(Bass bounces off and both Gyro Man and Gravity Man look at each other.)
Gyro Man - Oh my God! We killed Ice Man!
Gravity Man - We're bastards!
(Cloud Man and Cut Man walk up.)
Cloud Man - Hey kids.
Hard Man - Where are you going? And what's with the shotgun?
(Cut Man places a rod to his throat.)
Cut Man - -in a robotic tone- Mmm… Jimbo's got a gun…
Cloud Man - We're going hunting with a new hunting buddy.
Gyro Man - Who's that?
Cloud Man - Dick Cheney.
(An awkward silence follows.)
Cloud Man - Well… Um… Bye, then… I guess…
Cut Man - Mmm… Goodbye.
(Cloud Man and Cut Man walk away.)
Gravity Man - May God be with them.
Hard Man - Here here!
(Butters and Tweak walk up.)
Gyro Man - Hey! It's Butters!
Spring Man - AGH! -runs off-
Bomb Man - Right…
Hard Man - I don't like you.
Bomb Man - So?
Hard Man - So? I just don't like you. Case closed.
Bomb Man - Whatever… -walks off-
(Once school ends, they get onto the bus and begin making a lot of noise.)
Gyro Man - Yay! We're going home!
Hard Man - I'm gonna watch Terrance and Phillip as soon as I'm home!
Gravity Man - We'll watch it with you!
Gyro Man - Yay!
(Roll, who plays Mrs. Crabtree, turns around.)
Roll - Shut the -bleep- up!
Hard Man - Uncle -bleep-a!
Gyro Man - You're an inspiration to millions, Uncle -bleep-a!
Gravity Man - You apparently don't know any of the words to the song.
Everyone - Shut you're mother -bleep-ing face, Uncle -bleep-a!
Roll - SHUT YOUR MOTHER -BLEEP-ING MOUTHS ALREADY!
(Everyone grows silent.)
Roll - And stay that way.
(Once off of the bus, Gyro Man throws up in Pharaoh Man's face once more. Then, they walk into Hard Man's house.)
Star Man - Oh… It's you…
Hard Man - Are you still angry?
Star Man - I'm past that point.
Hard Man - Oh good.
Star Man - Now I'm pissed off!
Hard Man - Right… I'm gonna watch Terrance and Phillip.
(The TV is turned on and two people stand there. First, Fire Man is wearing a shirt with 'T' drawn onto it. Then, Gemini Man is standing there with a blue shirt and a 'P' drawn onto it.)
Gemini Man - Hey, Terrance!
Fire Man - Yes, Philip?
Gemini Man - Guess what? -farts-
Fire Man - Did you fart?
Gemini Man - Yes!
Fire Man - Just now?
Gemini Man - - Yes!
(Fire Man and Gemini Man break into a torrent of laughter until Fire Man suddenly stops.)
Fire Man - Oh shit!
(The entire set of the show explodes because you know what happens when gas and fire meet.)
Gyro Man - Man, this is bullshit!
Gravity Man - Tell me about it.
Hard Man - Ah well… Who wants some cheesy poofs?
Both - I do!
(Tango walks up to Hard Man and meows.)
Hard Man - No, kitty, these are my cheesy poofs!
(Tango meows again.)
Hard Man - -BLEEP- OFF KITTY!
Gravity Man - Man, this whole thing has just been like totally -bleep-ing stupid.
Gyro Man - I agree. I mean what could possibly make this wor-
Guts Man - Hiiiiiiidy ho!
Both - OH, GOD NOOOOOOOO!
Wasn't that weird? Anyways, in the next chapter, the Legends series gets to appear on Wheel of Fortune. So, Read and Review and I'll continue!