The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
In this chapter, Zero goes one-on-one with Regis 'cause he wants to be a millionaire. Needless to say, I'm gonna come up with some pretty screwed-up questions 'cause I'm seeking advice from my friend, Kinetikai. If you've read his stuff, you know that this will be a very ungodly chapter. Anyways, here's parody number twenty!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Parody #20
A Parody of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
By: The Zero series
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Regis walks to center-stage as lights spin around him.)
Regis - Hello and welcome to Who Wants To Be a Millionaire! To start off, we've got the fastest finger round. The question is…
(Gunshots ring out and all eyes turn to Zero, who's just shot and killed nine Phantom clones.)
Regis - Not what I meant, but workable. Zero, come on up here!
(Zero joins Regis in the 'hot seat' and the lights move in on them.)
Regis - You know the rules, the lifelines, let's do this! Let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
Some Guy From The Audience - I do!
Regis - For $100, which of these colors are red? A: Blue. B: Green. C: Yellow. D: Red.
(Zero places a hand on his chin and begins to think.)
Regis - We've got a retard on the show. He's actually thinking about this one.
Zero - I'll go with… C!
Regis - Are you absolutely positive?
Zero - That is my final answer.
Regis - Just 'cause I feel so goddamn sorry for you, I'll say you said D. Now, for $200, in the upcoming series, Megaman ZX, for the first time, the main character is what? A: A man. B: A female. C: A child. D: Constipated.
Zero - It's either between A or D…
Regis - You're shitting me, right?
Zero - I shit you not.
Regis - How'd you even get through the auditions? Never mind, just answer.
Zero - What the hell! I'll go with B for boy, bitch, baby, and bowel movement!
Regis - I think I'm gonna B for barf. First, you got it right. Second, that was nasty. Don't say that again. Now, for $300, Baby Ruth shares his name with what candy bar? A: Snickers. B: Nestle. C: Baby Ruth. D: Skittles.
Zero - I'd like to use the 50/50 lifeline, please?
Regis - Jesus Christ! Fine, fine. Take two of the wrong answers away and… You're left with C or D. Might I recommend the one which is exactly like the guy's name?
Zero - You'd like that, wouldn't you? For me to lose. I'll use 50/50, Regis.
Regis - Are you serious?
Zero - As serious as I'm standing here.
Regis - You're sitting down.
Zero - Precisely, Regis. I am sitting down.
Regis - What a sad son-of-a-bitch you are… alright. Computer, remove one of the wrong answers. Hey! What a surprise! You're left with C.
Zero - I'm still not sure… I'd like to use 50/50, Regis.
Regis - -blank, catatonic stare-
Zero - Come on. Help me out, bruddah!
Regis - If I was related to you, I'd of committed suicide years ago. Is triple 50/50 even possible? …it is? Okay, your left with… Baby,
Same Guy From The Audience - I do!
Zero - Fine, I'll go with… C.
Regis - Thank God Almighty! Now, for $500, which madman created Zero? For your sake, I suggest you get this right. Is it A: Dr. Light. B: Dr. Wily. C: Dr. Cossack. Or D: Dr. Doolittle?
Zero - Um… B. No, C. No, I mean… D?
Regis - Aw, for -bleep-'s sake!
Zero - E?
Regis - Goddamn it!
Zero - Fine, B! Better now, Regis?
Regis - Much. That's your final answer, you're right, next question. For $1000, in which game did Megaman first appear in? A: Megaman. B: Megaman X. C: Megaman Legends. D: Megaman Zero.
Zero - E!
(Choice E pops onto the screen.)
Regis - A bag of almonds, huh?
Zero - Yeah! That game's -bleep-in' awesome!
Regis - Are you some kind of -bleep-ing retard or something!
Zero - Relax. Man! What, are you on your period or something?
Regis - You know what? I'm gonna act like you said something that sounded like A, in which case, you'd be right. Congrats, you've got at least $1000.
Zero - That's mere pocket change!
Regis - You're parents probably spent pocket change while raising you. Now, for… The hell with it! You don't deserve to be a millionaire! Answer all of the questions and I'll consider giving you a McDonalds gift card.
Zero - I'm hip with that.
Regis - I'm sure you are. Question six, in Kinetikai's fanfic, Death Bologna, who is the retarded hedgie that always pops up in the weirdest places? A: Fruity. B: Tooty. C: Cooties. D: Twiggy.
Zero - Death Bologna? I'll make millions!
Regis - Sure, whatever. Just answer the damn question.
Zero - I'd like to use 'Ask The Audience'.
Regis - You heard him, audience. Please help the poor bastard.
(A few seconds go by and the results pop up.)
Regis - Apparently, nobody voted, so you're SOL.
Zero - -waving gun around- Answer the goddamn question!
(A few more seconds go by.)
Regis - After some… persuasion, 100 of the audience says that the answer is D.
Zero - Then, I'll go with B!
Regis - -blank, catatonic stare- This must be a whole new species of… -makes series of retarded noises-.
Zero - Whoa. Don't go all autistic on me or something.
Regis - You said D? Good choice. Question seven, Casper is a friendly what? A: Ghost. B: Mailman. C: Government official. (Yeah, right!) Or D: Neighborhood Spiderman.
Zero - I'll with D again.
Regis - Why must you be so stupid?
Zero - I was born with it. It's a gift.
Regis - That's nothing to be proud about. Anyways, you said A, so let's move on.
Zero - But I said…
Regis - A! I know! Good for you, retard! Question eight, Megaman is the mascot of what gaming company? A: Capital Punishment. B: Capcom. C: Capricorn. D: Microsoft.
Zero - -practicing for the Slurpee speed-drinking competition.- BRAINFREEZE! - begins squirming around on the floor-
Regis - And I thought I'd seen it all.
Zero - -stops squirming- I'll go with whatever wasn't a word. AAAHHH! -continues squirming-
Regis - That brainfreeze actually helped your brain. Imagine that. You're right. Now, question…
Zero - -still squirming- GO TO COMMERCIAL!
Regis - If you say so…
(The scene changes to two bored kids at a table.)
Kid #1 - I'm bored.
Kid #2 - Wanna go burn a cathedral down?
Kid #1 - I've already down that.
Kid #2 - How about we go plow some Africans down?
Kid #1 - I've already plowed seven down today.
Announcer - Are you tired of your average, perfectly normal routine?
Kid #1 - You bet.
Announcer - Well, now you can!
(An inflatable hammer is tossed to them.)
Kid #2 - What's this?
Singing Voices - If you're looking for some fun, 'Whack 'im In The Nuts And Run'!
Kid #1 - Looks cool, but how's it work?
Announcer - That's easy! First, go to a forest a locate a bear. Then, throw some rocks at it to piss it off. Then, do just as the name says…
Singing Voices - If you're looking for some fun, 'Whack 'im In The Nuts And Run'!
(Kid #1 whacks the bear in the nuts and begins running, leaving behind Kid #2.)
Kid #2 - My turn!
Bear - GGRRAAHH!
Kid #2 - AAAHHH!
(The bear's claw comes down and freezes halfway down towards the camera.)
Announcer - This toy is not suitable for kids or newborns, but buy it for them anyways. Your children will thank you!
(The bear's claws comes down all the way and blood splatters on the camera lens.)
Singing Voices - If you're looking for some fun, 'Whack 'im In The Nuts And Run'!
Announcer - Now available where toys or hunting equipment are sold.
(The scene changes back to Regis and his now-well-known catatonic stare.)
Regis - Who the hell made that!
(A.N. All credit for that commercial goes to Kinetikai. It was throw his demented idea of humor that that was spawned.)
Zero - Head… STILL HURTS! NEXT COMMERCIAL!
Regis - Whatever?
(The cartoon version of the Colonel pops up.)
Colonel - Over the years, KFC has brought to you many versions of chicken. Original. Crispy. Extra Crispy. Barbecue. Honey. Um… Original? Now, deep from the Colonel's secret vault comes Extra Crusty chicken! It's grandpa's old recipe! There's a little grandpa in every bite!
Grandpa - I'm magically delicious!
Announcer - Available wherever chicken or hunting equipment is sold.
(The scene goes back to Regis who immediately shudders.)
Regis - Ew.
Zero - It's wearing off! One more!
Regis - Fine.
(The scene changes to Sephiroth standing in front of the presidential banner.)
Sephiroth - Hello, I am Sephiroth. Today, Americans face many personal struggles. If you're an albino Martian like myself, then you know what I'm talking about. It is in this time of great struggle that we need a leader with vision, strength, and a gigantic frickin' sword. That is why, if you elect me, I promise, hand on heart, to strive to become the first man to save one's pubic hairs in an applesauce jar. That is all.
Announcer - Paid for in part by Sephiroth for Pres. '08.
(The scene changes back to Regis who is conversing with his therapist.)
Regis - And when I was eight, it didn't look like a wart anymore. It looked like… -notices the camera and pushes the therapist aside- Anyways, let's move on. Better?
(Regis suddenly puts on a blank, catatonic stare as everyone sees Zero holding an ice pack to his aching head.)
Regis - I didn't realize that ice bags were the cure for brainfreeze! Whatever. Question nine. During 9/11, some people say they saw the smoke form the shape of what ungodly figure's head? Is it…
Zero - Martha Stewart!
Regis - …A: Satan…
Zero - Bill Gates!
Regis - …B: Elvis…
Zero - Larry The Cable Guy!
Regis - …C: A lawyer…
Zero - Shaq!
Regis - …Or D: That guy behind Napoleon's Strip Club?
Zero - My final answer is… E!
Regis - Or is it E: Mr. Peanut?
(It turns out to be E and Regis has a fit.)
Regis - What? Show me the picture!
(A nearby screen shows a picture of the smoke looking exactly like Mr. Peanut.)
Regis - What the -bleep- is going on here?
Zero - I dunno.
Regis - Ugh… Question ten. Over the years, people have agreed on what is most likely the most ridiculous game in the Megaman franchise. What is it? A: Mega Man Soccer. B: Megaman X7? C: Megaman Legends? Or D: Megaman Zero?
Zero - -eye starts twitching- A…
Regis - Um… Is that you're…
Zero - Final…
Regis - Okay… You're right! Question eleven. Which of these facts are true about Hitler? A: He cross-dressed often. B: He often ordered take out from Luigi's Pizza Parlor. C: He would frequently worship his shrine to Mr. Clean. Or D: He had one testicle… Ew.
Zero - Oddly enough. I know this one. It's… A! Little cross-dressing fruit!
Regis It was D, but if you say so… Question twelve. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? What the hell… Is it A: One pound. B: One quart. C: One foot. Or D; Won ton. Won ton? What the hell is this?
Zero - Mmmm… Soup… I'll go with D.
Regis - Personally, I give a shit what the answer is. Question thirteen. If the pussy kicked the ass of the cock, would the bitch intervene…
(A few seconds pass by.)
Regis - Ya wanna skip this one?
Zero - Sure.
Regis - Damn barnyard language. Anyways, question fourteen. In the upcoming game, Megaman ZX, the battle against 'Omega' is a remix of what Megaman Zero tune? A: Cannonball. B: Combustion. C: Mission Report. Or D: I Like To Move, Move It?
Zero - This party bores me. Who wants to play basketball?
Still Same Guy From The Audience - I do!
Regis - Would someone shut him up!
Same Guy From The Audience - I will! -punches himself out-
Zero - Would anybody care for some delicious pancakes?
Regis - Just answer the damn question!
Zero - That works. Well, Regis. I think I'll use 'Phone-A-Friend'.
Regis - Very well. Who'd you like to call?
Zero - You.
Regis - Pardon?
Zero - You seem to know a lot of these answers. All of them, in fact.
Regis - I… don't think I'm home right know.
Zero - -points beam saber at Regis-
Regis - Right then! Call… my house.
(A few rings are heard before someone picks up.)
Voice - Hello?
Regis - Yes, this is… Wait! What are you doing my house?
Voice - Um… Bye! -hangs up-
Regis - What the hell!
Zero - I've found my answer!
Regis - Which is?
Zero - I'm going to kill you.
Regis - I'd rather not ask why. So, now it's the million-dollar question! For you Mickey D's gift card, which of these boy bands is the shortest lasting in history? Is it A; Hanson. B: N'Sync. C: The Backstreet Boys. Or D: The Temptations?
Zero - I shall answer in a form of a joke. Hey, Regis?
Regis - Yeah?
Zero - Knock, knock.
Regis - Who's there?
Zero - Marshmallow.
Regis - Marshmallow who?
Zero - I'm going to kill you.
Regis - I do believe we've got a new champion!
(Audience applauds.)
Zero - I'll take my winnings now.
Regis - Right. Here's your McDonald's gift card. Don't spend it all in one place. I quit this job. Tune in some other time for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
Same Guy From The Audience - I do!
Announcer - Well, now you can!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I'm extremely apologetic about the wait. I'm just a diehard gamer catching up on some major gaming. Anyways, this is it. The final stretch. Each series has one parody left before… (Dun-dun-dun-dun-nah!) The season finale! All series will be in it and I'll be hosting. But, for now, the last X parody is of X8. I hope you'll enjoy it. I hope more that you'll forgiver me for taking so long. Until then, though, Read and Review and I'll continue!