The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
In this chapter, you will see something Capcom never wanted you to see. This isn't a parody of the game, but more of the auditions for the last eight Mavericks in the X series. So, here's the last X parody!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Parody #21
A Parody of Megaman X8
By: The X series
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Announcer - The following is the auditions tapes made during the early development of Megaman X8. These have been kept under wraps until I snuck in at night and used my swift ninja skills to boost it from their vaults. Please, sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
(The tape starts and people put a desk down in front of Zero, who's sitting. X stands next to him.)
X - Thanks, guys.
(The workers nod and leave.)
Zero - I still don't see why I had to cut my hair.
X - That doesn't matter. This is the last game, so let's make this count.
Zero - Let's do this! First audition please!
Audition #1 - Raging Rock
(A man walks in a places a rock in front of them. Then, he leaves. The rock sits there for a few seconds.)
Zero - Okay, n…
Rock - Wait! I haven't shown you my special move yet!
(X and Zero exchange glances.)
X - Okay…
(The rock sits there for a few more seconds.)
Rock - I call it 'Rock Solid Defenses'.
Zero - And I call it 'Not A Chance In Hell'. Next!
Audition #12 - Flapjack Pandamonium
Zero - Okay, first off, I hate your name. Change it.
Flapjack - Of course!
X - What did you do before this?
Flapjack - Comedy.
(Bamboo (or Flapjack) Pandamonium is on a stage as crickets chirp.)
Flapjack - So… Um… Hi…
(Silence follows.)
Flapjack - How's everyone tonight?
(More silence follows. Suddenly, a flaming bottle of booze is thrown on stage, igniting Pandamonium. He begins dancing around and everyone starts cheering.)
X - …
Zero - …
Flapjack - …so… Am I in?
X - I… guess… Change your name though.
Flapjack - Of course! -drinks tea from a cup much smaller than his hand-
Zero - One more thing, please stop that.
Audition #25 - The Cast of Sesame Street
Zero - Why the -bleep- are you here?
Ernie - He said a naughty word!
X - So?
Cookie Monster - Cookie!
Zero - Look. You two… -points at Burt and Ernie- …are gay with each other, Bid Bird's too big, Cookie Monster has an addition to chocolate, and Grover got an addiction to making friends. All in all, you've got three seconds to get lost before…
Grover - Before what!
(A hole is blown in the wall and all eyes turn to where Ernie once stood.)
The Sesame Street Fruits - Run away!
Audition #47 - French Croissant
Zero - -sigh- Scenario time. One of us walks into the room. What's your first action when you see us?
Croissant - I surrender!
X - Why am I not surprised?
Audition #50 - N'Sync
Zero - Amusing, but no.
N'Sync - Totallllllllllllyyyyyyyy… Not groovy!
Zero - Should you kill them or should I?
Audition #87 - Tomato Tamato
X - Yeah… You're last name is the same as you first one.
Tamato - Ah, but it is not!
Zero - Yeah. It is.
Tamato - No, it's not.
X - Yes, it is.
Tamato - You annoy me.
Zero - Bye then.
Audition #88 Potato Patato
Zero - Aw, give me a -bleep-ing break!
Audition #99 - Papa Roach
Zero - Nice of you stop by, Mr. Roach, but we had a roach in the original game.
Papa Roach - No, you didn't!
Zero - Boomerang Kuwanger.
Papa Roach - He wasn't a roach. He was a kuwanger!
Zero - Ugh.
Audition #100 - Axl
Zero - Get the hell out of here, Axl.
Axl - Sorry.
Audition #112 - Playboy Bunny
(Zero is surrounded by three Playboy bunnies as X just slowly steps back.)
Zero - Oh, yeah. I'm a lady's man!
Audition #134 - Mad Cow
(A robotic is tearing a punching bag to pieces with its' mouth. X and Zero are crouched behind the desk peeking over the of it.)
X - Help, please.
Audition #150 - Sigma
X - HI.
Sigma - Hi.
Zero - Sigma…
Sigma - Zero…
X - X!
(Zero just gives X 'that look'.)
Zero - You've been the final boss in every X game save Command Mission. Why are you here?
Sigma - You mean this isn't Sexaholics Anonymous?
(X and Zero suddenly shudder with extreme force.)
Sigma - Apparently, not… -leaves-
Audition #167 - Heihachi
Heihachi - -takes battle stance-
Zero - Um…
(Heihachi punches a wall in half and Zero gets into a fight with him.)
Audition #189 - Nighttime O'Possum
Zero - Hello?
(O'Possum is playing dead on the ground.)
X - Are you okay?
O'Possum - -thinking- Just play dead and they won't notice…
Audition #199 - Gigavolt Man-O-War
Zero - So…
Man-O-War - Beaver breath!
X - What?
Man-O-War - Peppermint!
Zero - One more time?
Man-O-War - Love fish!
X - Um…
Man-O-War - Yay, ADHD! -begins wildly flying around the room- Poopy monkey! Poopy monkey!
X - Help! Please!
Audition #200 - Axl (again)
Zero - Axl…
Axl - You mean this is Sexaholics Anonymous?
X - Ew. And I mean that with a capital 'Ew'.
Audition #231 - Educated Redneck
X - So, you're powers?
Redneck - Well, I can count to ten. I can count to thirteen, but I'll have to take my pants off.
X - Please don…
Redneck - One… Two… Four…
Zero - Security, quick! Before he reaches eleven!
Redneck - Five… Uh… Seven!
Zero - QUICKLY!
Audition #254 - Squeaky Squeakers
Zero - -looking down at Pikachu- Nintendo would have our asses. So, unfortunately, no.
Audition - #268 - Hydro Pumpernickel
Zero - Cute. Get lost.
Pumpernickel - Oh…
Audition #289 - Snake Man
X - What the…
Snake Man - Please, you've got to help me! I've been out of work since the Indiana Jones parody!
Zero - So?
Snake Man - SAVE ME!
Audition #299 - The Guy With The 'Sh' Accent
Zero - Unusual name, Mr. Sh.
'Sh' Man - Do you mind if I shit on this couch?
X - What! Yes, we mind!
'Sh' Man - What's with shitting on a couch made for shitting in the shitty shitty?
Zero - Dude, you've got issues.
Audition #300 - Old Man Jenkins
Zero - Uh…
(An old man sits on the couch, sleeping.)
Zero - Get him out of here.
Audition #326 - They Call Me 'The Z'
Zero - For the twenty-sixth time… NO!
Audition #417 - Axl (yet again)
Zero - Axl… This is what? The fifth time you've been here?
Axl - Come on, guys! I want to be in the game!
Zero - …
X - …
Axl - What?
Zero - YOU'RE ALREADY IN THE -BLEEP-ING GAME!
Axl - I am? Cool. See ya!
Audition #389 - …wait a sec…
Zero - How's that supposed to work out?
Audition #450 - Martha Stewart
Zero - What… the hell…
Martha - First, you bast the turkey. Then, you smack it across someone's face… like so! -smacks Zero with turkey-
Zero - It's on bitch!
Audition #478 - Weedin' Dandelion
Zero - Ya wanna call it quits after five-hundred?
X - Sure.
Dandelion - Dude, I like so don't know what's goin' on right now…
Zero - Next!
Audition #499 - Santa Claus
Zero - Let's move this on. I've got somewhere to go.
Santa - You've been very nice this year, Zero. Sit on my lap and tell Santa what you want for Christmas.
(Zero sighs and sits on his lap.)
Zero - I'd like a visit from Death.
Audition #500 - Lumine
Zero - You look like a girl.
Lumine - Well, I'm not.
Zero - Prove it.
(Lumine begins dancing like a drunk redneck.)
Zero - Whatever. You're in. It's not like you're going to be the final boss or anything…
(Everyone slowly looks to the camera, which becomes staticky.)
Announcer - This has been the never-before-released auditions for Megaman X8. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to borrow a few thousands dollars from the bank.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well? It's not much, but the season finale will be worth it. Anyways, the final Classic parody will be of the movie, Sparticus. I think you'll enjoy it. But, until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!