The Random Megaman Parody Show
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
This is it! The season finale! I'm not even going to bug you! Just read!!
Parody #25
Season Finale
A Parody of The Weakest Link
By: The X, Classic, Legends, and Zero series
Announcer - Welcome to The Weakest Link! Here are tonight's contestants:
Megaman - I am Megaman and I whoop ass.
Wily - I am Wily and I won't stop until the world is mine!
X - I am X and I'm a Maverick Hunter.
Sigma - I'm Sigma and I'm a Maverick.
Trigger - I am Megaman Voulnut and I… have… a monkey?
Data - I am Data… -in demonic tone- …and I am his monkey!
(The camera goes back to Trigger, who shrugs. The camera continues going down the line.)
Zero - I am Zero and I am suffering from amnesia. Or… am I?
Omega - I am Omega and I am a cheap rip-off of X. Okay, will someone please kill the teleprompter man?
(All eyes turn to Frost Man, who is smoking Wood Man. Ring Man is sitting next to him.)
Ring Man - Don't look at us.
(All eyes turn to Phantom.)
Phantom - For king and country!
(Phantom flies over and stabs the teleprompter man to death. He strikes a victory pose and the teleprompter falls on him.)
Announcer - Whatever! And I'm your host…
(The camera turns to the host.)
Megaman - Meeeee! Megaman from the Battle Network series! Hi and welcome to the season finale of The Random Megaman Parody Show. From here on, I'll be known as…
Mega Man.EXE - …Mega Man.EXE as to avoid any confusion between me and the classic Megaman. Now, here's how this is going to go. I'm going to ask you high school dropouts two questions each about Megaman or Capcom. Every time someone is eliminated, the stupid level will go down.
Sigma - What about the money?
Zero - -scoffs- What money? You aren't an ass-chin. You're a dumbass-chin!
Sigma - I… am not… an ass-chin!!
Mega Man.EXE - Of course you're not! So, let's begin! We'll start with Megaman. The original Megaman was supposed to feature eight bosses, but the game's size became an issue. Name the Robot Master Keiji Inafune mentioned that he'd wanted in that game.
Megaman - Water Man.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Bond Man. Wily, true or false. The Legends series is connected to the X series.
Wily - False.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. True. X, name the Robot Master who had an alternate level music based on Ghosts N' Ghouls.
X - Shade Man.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Sigma, what two tunes was the final boss tune of Megaman X6 made from?
Sigma - My first form tune from X1 and X2.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, Slash Man has two weaknesses. Scorch Wheel is one. Name the other.
Trigger - Huh?
Mega Man.EXE - No. Freeze Cracker.
Trigger - You're a cracker! Ass cracker…
Mega Man.EXE - Whatever. Data, why do you always do the monkey?
Data - Because I'm hyper, I have ADD, and I start each day with a bowl of sugar and a piece of crack the size of a small dog's head!
Mega Man.EXE - Works for me. Zero, name the band the X5 Mavericks were named after.
Zero - Guns N' Roses.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Omega, why do you look like X?
Omega - What kind of question is that?
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Megaman, what did the final level in Megaman 2 lack?
Megaman - Music.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Wily, what happens when you hit Metal Man with his own weapon?
Wily - Half of his health is depleted.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. A robot made of metal, uses metal, and is weak against metal? That's the way to make a robot, Wily. Dumbass…
Wily - I heard that.
Mega Man.EXE - Of course you did. X, Devil May Cry was originally intended to be what?
X - A new Resident Evil.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Sigma, Why did Capcom make your ass-chin so big?
Sigma - Fuck off.
Mega Man.EXE - Not good enough. Trigger, one of Zero's weapons in X8 is K Knuckle. What does K stand for?
Trigger - Carnival? With a K?
Mega Man.EXE - No. Kaiser. Data, name the only X game to make a reference to the Legends series.
Data - X5.
Mega Man.EXE - You're not as dumb as you look. Zero, Neon Tiger's stage is a slowed-down, SNES version of a song by what band?
Zero - Aerosmith?
Mega Man.EXE - No, you stupid ass. Guns N' Roses. Omega, why do you look like X?
Omega - You asked me that already.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. And thus the first round is over. The only ones to get both questions right were Data and X. Omega and Trigger, being idiots, got none of theirs right.
Omega - It was the same question asked twice!
Mega Man.EXE - Excuses. Now, who donated their brain to science… and got it sent back? It's time to choose who you think is… the weakest link.
(Everyone votes.)
Mega Man.EXE - Now, reveal you're votes. Who did you vote for?
Megaman - I voted for Omega.
Wily - I voted for Trigger.
X - Omega.
Sigma - Trigger.
Trigger - Trigger. Wait…
Data - The infidels!
Mega Man.EXE - That wasn't a choice, but whatever floats your boat…
Zero - Omega.
Omega - I knew this was going to happen, so I voted for myself.
Mega Man.EXE - You do realize that you could've just voted Trigger off, but because you are an idiot, you've eliminated yourself, right?
(Omega thinks for a second.)
Omega - SON OF A…
(A trapdoor opens and Omega falls in.)
Omega - BIIIIIIIIIITCH!!
Mega Man.EXE - I'm sorry, but you are the weakest link. Goodbye. Ah! I can feel the stupid leaving the room.
X - Actually, I just turned the fan on.
Mega Man.EXE - If you say so… Now, the next round is the same as the first, but Omega's questions have been removed. Now, let's play! Megaman, before the Nova Strike was introduced in X5, a similar move was in X4. Name that move.
Megaman - It was still the Nova Strike.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. The Nova Dash. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a total dipshit. Wily, which Classic series game had the weapons set up so that, following weaknesses, a loop of three Robot Masters was made?
Wily - Megaman 7.
Mega Man.EXE - No. Megaman 3. X, name the unusual robot who absorbs the bosses from the previous game in Megaman 3.
X - Doc Man.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Sigma, the robots created by the Bonnes are named in what language?
Sigma - Australian!
Mega Man.EXE - Good God, you're retarded. No, it was German.
Sigma - That was my second guess.
Mega Man.EXE - I figured you'd say that. Trigger, in Megaman: Maverick Hunter X, Dr. Cain does what, something he did not do in the SNES games?
Trigger - He dies.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Data, why does Vile look like Boba Fett?
Data - Who cares? Someone should use him in a Star Wars parody.
Mega Man.EXE - My sentiments exactly. Zero, why does Lumine talk like a girl, but is somehow a guy?
Zero - One word; transvestite.
Mega Man.EXE - One word: correct. Megaman, in Megaman X: Command Mission, Ninetails is the leader of what?
Megaman - The Tail Clan.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Wily, will you ever realize you can't beat Megaman?
Wily - No! I'll never give up!
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, why do you look like X?
X - What?
Mega Man.EXE - Sorry, that was one of Omega's questions. -tosses card aside- Name the character who mysteriously disappears in between X6 and X7.
X - Dynamo.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Gate.
X - Gate died.
Mega Man.EXE - Or did he? -gets weird look in his eye-
X - He's dead. I killed him.
Mega Man.EXE - Then, I guess you're right! Sigma, what is Infinity Mijinion?
Sigma - A small fry.
Mega Man.EXE - No, a water flea. Trigger, true or false. Glyde is so weak, I could beat him with nothing but my toenail clippings.
Trigger - True.
Glyde - Hey.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct.
Glyde - Hey!
Mega Man.EXE - Hay is for horses. Are you a horse? You sure look like one.
Glyde - Uncalled for!
Mega Man.EXE - Sissy. Data, on a scale of one to ten, how cool am I?
Data - 2.
Mega Man.EXE - I was thinking 10, but that's close enough! Zero, name the third Megaman Legends game.
Zero - Megaman Legends 2.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. The Misadventures of Tron Bonne was the second. That ends round two and X, Trigger, Data, and Zero are all not idiots. As for the rest of you, I'm not so sure. Who's roller coaster never made the loop? It's time to choose… the weakest link.
(Everyone votes.)
Mega Man.EXE - It's time to reveal your votes.
Megaman - I voted for Sigma.
Wily - Sigma.
X - Sigma.
Sigma - Sig… uh… Data.
Trigger - Sigma.
Data - Sigma.
Zero - Sigma.
Mega Man.EXE - Ouch. Unanimous decision.
Sigma - Screw all of you! Screw you to hell!
(A trapdoor opens and Sigma falls into a hole.)
Mega Man.EXE - X, why did you vote for Sigma?
X - No one wants an ass-chin around.
Mega Man.EXE - Excellent answer! You win the contents of Sigma's wallet! Time for round three. Let's play! Megaman, name the online parody of Megaman.
Megaman - Someone made an online parody of me?
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Stinkoman.
Megaman - That's original.
Mega Man.EXE - Wily, name the final boss tune from the Classic series that has been used in more games than any other.
Wily - Megaman 7.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, name the first Megaman game to feature weaknesses.
X - The original Megaman.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, name the first Megaman game to feature a final boss theme separate from the fortress boss theme.
Trigger - The original Megaman.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Megaman 4. Data, name the first Megaman game to feature an intro stage.
Data - Megaman 7.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, the Stardroids, including Terra, Saturn, and Sunstar, are all robots from what Megaman game?
Zero - Megaman 4.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Megaman IV.
Zero - That's what I said.
Mega Man.EXE - But you didn't say it in Roman Numerals as they did for the Gameboy games. Megaman…
Zero - What?
Mega Man.EXE - ,,,name the first fortress boss from the first Megaman on the Gameboy.
Zero - What kind of shit is that?
Megaman - Enker.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct.
Zero - Speaking in Roman Numerals… Honestly!
Mega Man.EXE - Shut up or I'll activate the trapdoor. Wily, what's the easiest way to defeat Enker?
Wily - Shoot him with Fire Storm.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Continuously shoot him. He absorbs the shots, draining his life, before throwing them back at you, which also takes health, in a vertical wave-like form.
Wily - That's nice.
Mega Man.EXE - It is, isn't it? X, name the single-eyed enemies who stick to walls in Megaman for Gameboy.
X - Suzy.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, in the first Megaman for Gameboy, you face four Robot Masters before going through the two fortress levels. Name one of the four Robot Masters you face before Enker.
Trigger - Elecman.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Choices were Bubbleman, Quickman, Flashman, or Heatman. You fight different Robot Masters the second time 'round. Data, on a scale from 1 to 10, how cool are you?
Data - 2. I mean…
Mega Man.EXE - Correct.
Data - Asshole.
Mega Man.EXE - Monkey sunnavabitch. Zero, in the original Megaman, you fight a large blob that takes the shape of a person. What is this blob's name?
Zero - The Yellow Devil.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. The technical name is the Bio-Devil, due to its' different forms, shapes, and colors. Round three's over and Trigger's a moron again. Who's IQ is equal to their shoe size? It's time to choose… the weakest link.
(Everyone votes.)
Mega Man.EXE - Reveal your votes now.
Megaman - Wily.
Wily - Megaman.
X - Wily.
Trigger - Data.
Zero - Wily.
Mega Man.EXE - Wily, you're time is up.
Wily - I'll never die!!
(Wily falls into a trapdoor.)
Mega Man.EXE - Let's begin round four! Megaman, Quickman was based off of what Megaman 1 boss?
Megaman - I'd have to say Elecman, lightning and speed and whatnot.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, name one of the three bosses in the X series to feature Flame in their name.
X - Hyenard.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Stag and Mammoth were the others. Trigger, in the original Megaman Legends, one of the earliest bosses is the Marlwolf. What does Marlwolf mean?
Trigger - Easy to beat?
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Mole. Data, what word describes the beginning of Megaman Legends 2 when Trigger grabs Roll's ass?
Data - Godsend?
Mega Man.EXE - Correct.
Roll - Pervert!
(Mega Man.EXE pauses briefly to execute several vulgar thrusts in Roll's direction before continuing.)
Mega Man.EXE - Zero, Ciel and Alouette are names based from what language?
Zero - Spanish?
Mega Man.EXE - No, numb-nuts. It's French. Megaman, Iceman is weak against lightning because of what?
Megaman - I dunno.
Mega Man.EXE - His superconductivity. Read the manga. X, name one of the two Mavericks that have three-word names.
X - Metal Shark Player
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Axle The Red is the other. Trigger, how many Servbots are there?
Trigger - One… Two… Three…
Mega Man.EXE - No counting!
Trigger - Fine! Um… A lot?
Mega Man.EXE - Meh. It works. Data, how was Trigger named?
Data - Roll named him after her favorite game.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, D Glaive is a type of staff referred to as a what?
Zero - A glaive?
Mega Man.EXE - No. A nobanaga. It is a staff with a blade at one end. That ends round four and X and Data are once again the smartest of the dumbest. Who here has difficulty spelling one-letter words? It's time to vote off… the weakest link.
(Everyone votes.)
Mega Man.EXE - Reveal your votes now.
Megaman - Data.
X - Data.
Trigger - Data.
Data - Trigger.
Zero - Data.
Mega Man.EXE - Need I remind you morons that you've eliminated someone who hasn't gotten a single question wrong?
Megaman - Down with the monkey!
X - He's too smart for his own good!
Data - I hope you all die of a heart attack!
(Data falls down as a trapdoor opens.)
Mega Man.EXE - Apparently, legends are made up of 1 myth, 2 reality, and 97 stupid. Add a little… -makes brief series of retarded noises- …and you've got yourself the Legends series.
Trigger - Hey…
Mega Man.EXE - Oh, suck it up! Round five starts now. Megaman, in Megaman: Powered Up, why is everything chibi?
Megaman - The hell if I know.
Mega Man.EXE - Incorrect. Mr. Inafune had sniffed some pudding powder while watching Baby Geniuses before coming up with the idea. X, in Megaman: Maverick Hunter X, what change was made in the intro stage?
X - Vile had to be beaten instead of letting him beat my ass.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, in The Misadventures of Tron Bonne, Tron and the Servbots fight the first boss of the original game while looking for what?
Trigger - The Aurora Stones.
Mega Man.EXE - Not sure how you know that, but okay. Zero, T Breaker is a warhammer. What does T stand for?
Zero - Titan?
Mega Man.EXE - Works for me! Megaman, in Megaman X, you can get the Hadouken from Street Fighter. What's the difference between this one and the Hadouken in Megaman: Maverick Hunter X?
Megaman - You can save the one from Maverick Hunter X.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, name a Megaman 8 Robot Master who was created from an idea of a children's drawing.
X - Um… Tengu Man?
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Tengu Man and Astro Man were the only ones not created by children's drawings. Trigger, like the Mavericks from the X series, the Robot Masters also had several animal-based characters. Name one.
Trigger - Snake Man.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Centaur Man, Tengu Man, and Slash Man were all acceptable.
Trigger - Slash Man?
Mega Man.EXE - He looks like a lion. Anyways, next question. Zero, Ciel had one apple. Leviathan had two peaches. They both had hot sex together.
Ciel - What!?
Leviathan - Excuse me while I find something sharp and pointy.
Mega Man.EXE - The question is: How turned on are you?
Zero - -at a loss for words-
Mega Man.EXE - I see I've baffled you. However, I need an answer.
Zero - -more silence-
Mega Man.EXE - I'll take your silence as your answer. In that case, you're wrong! I, on the other hand…
Leviathan - Finish that sentence and I'll shove this up your 'special' little hole.
(Leviathan holds up a long and pointy harpoon.)
Mega Man.EXE - Point proven. Anyways, voting time. Who's IQ test came back negative? Let's vote for… the weakest link.
(Everyone votes.)
Megaman - X.
X - Zero.
Trigger - X.
(Zero still has that baffled look on his face. A screen appears and he has written nothing.)
Mega Man.EXE - Look's like you're boned, X!
Leviathan - Come again?
Mega Man.EXE - It was just a metaphor!
X - Aw, shit…
(X falls through a trapdoor. Zero shakes his head and comes to his senses.)
Zero - I'm sorry. That question put me in a temporary coma. What'd I miss?
Mega Man.EXE - X got voted off for giving his first incorrect answer.
Zero - Who'd I vote for?
Mega Man.EXE - No one.
Zero - If I wanted to save him, who would I have to vote for?
Mega Man.EXE - Yourself.
Zero - Screw it then! He's not that important to me.
X - -from hole in floor- Asshole!
Mega Man.EXE - Forgot to close the doors. -does so- Well, it's down to Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest. But who's who? Let's find out. Megaman, you are one of Capcom's greatest creations. Name the other.
Megaman - Resident Evil?
Mega Man.EXE - Incorrect. Ryu from Street Fighter. Trigger, name the ideal Servbot to make your 'favorite' in The Misadventures of Tron Bonne.
Trigger - Twenty-three?
Mega Man.EXE - Close. Twenty-seven. Zero, how disturbed where you by that last question?
Zero - Well, it put me in a temporary mental coma.
Mega Man.EXE - That works. Megaman, which version of Roll is hotter?
Megaman - That's my sister, dude!
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Only one of them is your sister! Trigger, why hasn't Japan released Namco X Capcom in America yet?
Trigger - I dunno. The game takes about eighty hours to beat once and there's over two-hundred characters in it. Translation's gonna take a while.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong! Those damn Japs keep the best games for themselves! Dirty stinking Jews! Raaaaah! Raaaaah! Ra…
Announcer - We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by…
(The screen returns to Mega Man.EXE, who seems calmer.)
Mega Man.EXE - -in high-pitched tone of voice- I apologize for the previous statements. I meant no disrespect to those mentioned, nor did the author.
(In the distance, Mega Man.EXE heard the distinct sound of the fourth wall being broken.)
Mega Man.EXE - -in high tone of voice- Anyways, I'm probably going to be talking like this for the rest of the show because Leviathan made good on her promise. So, let's move on. Zero, does my voice sound a bit too high-pitched?
Zero - Yeah, kind of.
Mega Man.EXE - -in high tone of voice- Correct. Now, let's… HOLY…
Announcer - More technical difficulties. Please stand by.
Mega Man.EXE - -in normal tone- That… kinda hurt…
(Leviathan is smirking, using the harpoon to hold herself up.)
Mega Man.EXE - Anyways, who's mind is like Death Valley: empty with no signs of life? Let's find out by voting off… the weakest link.
(Everyone votes.)
Megaman - Zero.
Trigger - Megaman.
Zero - Megaman.
Mega Man.EXE - Down you go!
Megaman - Wait!
(Megaman falls through a trapdoor.)
Megaman - -while falling- I can pay you!
Mega Man.EXE - Well, it's down to this. I'm going to ask you both five questions relating to video games in general. The one who answers the most correctly will win. Trigger, first question. What company made Spyro, Ratchet & Clank, and… something I can't remember the name of…
Trigger - Insomniac.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, the idea that originally intended to be Sonic the Hedgehog turned into what?
Zero - Stumpy the Porcupine.
Mega Man.EXE - What?
Zero - You've never played Stumpy? You've got to play it!
Mega Man.EXE - Okay… No, that's wrong. The answer was Ristar. Trigger, Jak & Daxter has been often compared to what game francshise, created by the same company?
Trigger - Crash Bandicoot.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, a game similar to Dance Dance Revolution is found on the Internet under what name?
Zero - In The Groove.
Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Flash Flash Revolution. Trigger, Ico has been considered a what amongst video games?
Trigger - A cult-classic.
Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, you must get this right to stay in the game. The game Soul Blade features this, something that wasn't in the rest of the series.
Zero - Three alternate music types.
Mega Man.EXE - Incorrect. The answer was the ability to break your weapon. Congratulations, Trigger! You are not The Weakest Link!
Trigger - Yay! I'm not stupid!
Zero - Asses…
Mega Man.EXE - Thank you for tuning in and we'll see you next season! From all of use from the Megaman franchise, stay sped, America!!
It's not over. There's one last chapter, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. You'll just have to read it when I'm done writing it out… Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!!