WENDSDAY JUNE 27TH 20172:00 A.M.
I am waiting for an answerI am waiting for a prayer
I am waiting for you to come
To bring me to where you are.
I know I should be sleeping, but I can't. I'm so tired, but my eyes won't stay closed because every time they do close, all I see is her. I'll never stop thinking about her; I'll never stop seeing her. I wonder where she is now and how I'm supposed to live without her. What's life going to be like without her It's going to suck and it's going to be hard, especially being so far away from home, which unfortunately I'm going to be in by this time next week.
There are services at the funeral home tomorrow and then the funeral service at night. That's how mom wanted it…simple and quick with no lingering tears. But I don't know if and when my tears will ever stop.
Uncle Mouth says there's going to be a lot of people mom knew there. My grandparents are flying in from California and most of the others are friends of my mom's who live here in New York. Except for her old friends from high school. Mouth says he talked to them and told them about mom. They'll be here too.
I'm not sure I want to be there to meet all those people tomorrow. I mean, I need to go so I can say goodbye to mom for the last and final time. And I'm sure my grandparents want to see me and make sure I'm okay, but I don't think I can face all the other people. Well, to be completely honest, it's one particular person I know I'm not ready to meet. But I guess that's true for any eleven year old about to meet her father for the first time in her life. More about that later, I think I'm finally ready to sleep so I don't have to think about any of this anymore tonight.
Chasedy Faith Davis-Scott
I still can't stop thinking about her as I lay on her couch in her apartment. How can Brooke be gone? She was such a good person and friend…she didn't deserve this. We didn't even see it coming…she was so young…too young to get sick…
It was her birthday…her 30th birthday and Rachel and I had thrown her a party. It was the three of us and some friends of Brooke's from her store. It was a beautiful spring day in April…the last sunny day I can remember since everything happened.
"Thirty years old and you still know how to party." Rachel said with a smile as she passed another beer to Brooke and me.
All of us adults were sitting on our back deck, talking and laughing.
"Yeah, well she did party all through high school." I said also smiling as the others erupted in laughter.
"Ha, ha…very funny." Brooke said, after a drink from her beer. "I thought you two promised not share stories from our high school years tonight?"
"Relax, Brooke…we're just kidding." Rachel said.
"I know." Brooke chuckled. "Being drunk is fun, especially on your birthday. But I'm starting to get a headache and getting a little dizzy, so I think I need to trade this cold beer for some coffee, Do you guys mind if—"
"No, go ahead." I said, standing against the house by the door, with one hand in the pocket of my jeans. "You know where everything is."
Brooke stood up from her chair and entered the house straight into the kitchen. The rest of went on talking while we waited for her to return. But she hadn't been inside a minute before we heard the shattering of dishes in the kitchen. And when we all rushed into the kitchen, Brooke was passed out on the floor…
There's a faint tap on the door and I stand up from the couch and walk over to the door. I turn on the hall light and peek through the hole on the apartment door, though I'm already sure who it is at five o'clock in the morning. I unlock the door to let my wife inside.
"Hi." Rachel says as she hugs me.
I hold her close in our embrace. Her in my arms is the most comforting feeling, especially at such a difficult time as this. We share a quick kiss before I close the door.
"Where's Molly?" I ask as we sit down together on the couch.
"With your parents. She wanted to come and be here for Chase, but I told it her it would be better for her to wait until the funeral today to see her."
"Yeah…you made a good call."
Rachel glances at the hallway and asks, "Speaking of, how is she?"
"Not so good. She's finally asleep, but only for the last couple of hours. She's going to be exhausted when she has to get up in a few more hours."
"Yeah, well today is going to be another difficult day for her. No child should have to go through what she's going through."
"I agree. And no one as young as Brooke should have to go through what Brooke went through."
And again I remember that night when all our lives changed…
"Who's here for Brooke Davis?" The doctor asked when he stepped into the area where Rachel and I had been waiting so anxiously.
We both stood up and I said, "We are. Is she okay?"
The doctor's eyes moved away from us, like he was looking for someone else to answer to. He looked back and said, "It's very important that I speak to Brooke's relatives. Does she have family here that I may speak with? Parents maybe?"
"No, they're in California." I said. "Why can't you just tell us? We came in with her."
"I'm afraid Brooke's condition is very serious and any information is restricted to immediate family."
"Well, I'm her brother." I said, growing angrier by the minute. "And I don't care if you believe me or not, but the fact is, her parents are miles away and don't give a damn about her and we do and we're standing right here. So please just forget about your damn professional pride and just tell us what happened to her tonight."
The doctor just stared at me and for a minute I was sure he was going to walk away and not tell us anything because of the way I spoke to him. But he didn't.
"We ran some tests and discovered that Brooke has an abnormality in her heart caused by a condition called Dilated Cardiomyopathy."
"What is that?" Rachel asked.
"It's a condition where the heart cavity is enlarged and stretched, which is what's called a cardiac dilation. This makes the heart very weak and it can't pump normally, which sometimes can lead to congestive heart failure. Fortunately, that hasn't happened…yet."
"So what was it that made her pass out?"
"We believe it was an arrhythmia, another side effect of her condition."
"How…" I was so shocked I couldn't even manage to get a question out. "How did this happen? How did she get this?"
"We don't really know, unfortunately, which is true of most cases like Brooke's. This is the most common form of cardiomyopathy, but it also can't be attributed to a specific cause. Sometimes it's from genetics and other times it's from something else, but in Brooke's case…there's no way to know."
"Is she going to be okay?" Rachel was as worried as I was.
The doctor hesitated, "I don't know. With this condition, blood clots can form more easily because blood flows more slowly through an enlarged heart. And if one of those clots breaks off into the right ventricle, or the pumping chamber, it could cause a pulmonary embolism."
"Oh my god…" Rachel gasped and started to cry again.
"Is there anything that can be done for her to help her get better?" I asked hopefully, though my eyes were watering like Rachel's.
"Well…" the doctor sighed. "We're hoping that she'll be well enough to go home in a few days, with some medication to prevent another attack like tonights. But her name has been added to the transplant list because she is going to need a heart transplant soon, especially if her condition gets any worse."
She did get well enough to come home later that week. But unfortunately, her condition began to worsen shortly thereafter. It was devastating to Brooke to learn about her condition and even more devastating to Chase. After the devastation, fear settled in as we waited, hoped and prayed that Brooke would get her new heart soon.
But she never got her new heart. She grew weaker and weaker every day she had to wait. She held on as long as she could for her daughter, for herself and for us. She held on for six months…but her body just couldn't stand waiting anymore.
a/n: sorry it took so long for this guys...i've been busy with school as always. hope you liked it. let me know with a review and i'll do my best to get you an update soon