a/n: i almost posted the same chapter twice LOL this is the right chapter, though. sorry it took so long to get it up. i hope you enjoy. don't forget to review!!

LUCAS

Brooke's gone…I still can't fathom that. How can it be true?

I've been laying here for hours thinking about it and about her. It's so unreal…knowing I will never see her again after I see her in that casket today, if there is even an open casket. It could just be a memorial. I don't know a thing about the funeral other than it's today and that it's for Brooke. I can't stop thinking about her…I can't stop remembering her…I can't stop thinking about my last conversation with her…

We were in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting with Haley to hear that Nathan was okay after he had jumped into the river to save his uncle and Rachel after the limo Rachel stole plunged into it. Brooke met us at the hospital and we had both been there for a while with Haley, waiting to see if Nathan would be okay. But for as long as we had been there, we hadn't spoken a word to each other, or rather, Brooke hadn't spoken a word to me.

But I needed to talk to her. I was worried about her too after the argument we'd had at the reception and I couldn't take her silence anymore…

"Brooke, we need to talk." I said, sitting down next to her on the couch.

"Not now Lucas." She said, still not looking at me.

"Please Brooke," I pleaded and I placed my hand on hers.

She finally looked at me and she nodded. We both left the couch and the waiting room to take a walk down the hallway, but we didn't stray too far.

"What do you want to talk about?" Brooke asked as she crossed her arms.

"Us." I said and I stopped walking. Brooke stopped walking too and she stood in front of me.

"I love you…so much, Brooke." I said, taking her hand in mine. "I need you to know that I really, really love you."

"I know you do, Luke. But how do you love me?"

"What?"

Brooked sighed and she looked away for a moment. And when she looked back at me, there were tears in her eyes.

"We don't talk, Lucas." She began. "Not about anything real or meaningful. We make out and we cuddle and we hold hands, but we never really talk to each other. And that's not love Lucas, at least not the kind of love that I want, the kind of love that I need."

"Brooke…" I tried to stop her from going on. I tried to say something to convince her of my true love for her. But she went on before I could."

"I need you to open up to me like I open up to you. I need you to miss me when I'm not with you. But you don't."

"I do, Brooke. You know I do."

"No…I don't know because you don't show me. You didn't call me Lucas…you were gone for a week and you didn't call me…not once. To me, that meant you really weren't missing me."

"But I did, Brooke, I did miss you. And I do love you. I'll try harder to prove that to you. I'll—

"But that's my point, Lucas. You shouldn't have to try…I don't have to."

And she walked away from me and back to the waiting room. And after Nathan woke up, she left the hospital. I didn't want us to end like she ended us. So I went looking for her at Peyton's later to try to work things out with her, but she wasn't there. She'd gone and not left one thing behind but me.

It devastated me, her disappearing like she did. She didn't say goodbye or leave a note. Not for Peyton either. That devastated Peyton too. They'd had a fight, but Peyton didn't want her to go. Neither of us thought she would ever leave us without a goodbye, no matter how mad she was at us.

I never got over her…never in all these years. I have to be honest with myself; even as I lie in this bed next to Peyton…I never stopped loving Brooke Davis.