Nixiesocean: Hello! Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you like the characters, I've tried really (really, really) hard on keeping this pretty interesting while still incorporating the old story of the damsel and the knight. Plus, this is my first Humor story, so bear with me. Onto chapter 2!

Chapter 2: Prince in Distress

"You're- you're-" Lance stuttered. The Lady/ Knight spun and stabbed the dragon's tail that had knocked off the helm. She picked it up and held it under her right arm.

"A girl, I know." She spat. "How come I have to save your sorry ass? What about," She made quote marks in the air, while dropping the helm. "Damsel in distress did you not understand?" She picked the helm up and slammed it on her head. She screamed in the cave and pounded the cave walls. Her metal gloves made clanking noises the echoed in the large cave.

"Watch it, knight, I'm still the prince, you know." Lane yelled.

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"Like I care!" I yelled back. "You're a snotty, over-fed, primped-up, self-absorbed freak!"

Prince Lance turned red. "Look, you came to save a damsel, I'm not a damsel and I'm not in distress. So, you can get back on you're little horsy and ride off into the sunset." He turned around and started walking back to his rock. I smiled behind my helm.

"Technically, I came here to save the captive. Normal people that are caught by a dragon are damsels not princes." I stepped up to him.

"I can kill a dragon without your help." He said over his shoulder. He turned to face me. I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder, much in the same way a bandit would take a hostage. "What are you doing?" He yelled into my ear. "Put me down! Do you know who I am? PUT ME DOWN!" I was sick of his yelling. I set him down… on my horse. I mounted and took the reins and we cantered out of the cave. He grumbled for a bit, and then repeated his question to me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm rescuing my damsel-in-distress, Prince Lance." I said with yet another grin. "Besides, what ever would you do without your dragon to give you food?" I asked. "I don't think you'd want to dirty your little hands!"

"Like you'd know." He hissed through his teeth.

"I do, in fact." After that, he shut up. He was obviously tired of yelling, so he fell asleep. I kept riding until dark. Then I woke him up to set up camp. He staked the tent up-side down then made the fire pit a square. I sighed and righted the tent, showing him how to set it up. Then I filled in the corners of the square to make it circular. When I told him to get tinder, he stared at me. Finally, I went and got small sticks and shoved them in his face saying. "Get more of these." It was tiring. It went on for a few days, maybe even a week. Since it took me two weeks to ride out here, it would take us two weeks (maybe more at the pace we were going) to get back to the castle. One night, I decided to ask him how he had gotten captured.

"So, how did someone as high-and-mighty as you get caught by a dragon?" I asked, goading him into another fight.

"I'm not saying, Lady-in-Shining-Armor." He grumbled.

I decided to tease him more. "Visiting a lover?"

"No." As if.

"Then what were you doing?" He looked away. "Its alright to say you were visiting a lover out in the forest."

"I was not visiting anyone!" Uh huh.

"Right. Go to bed, stick." I turned and drew Goldflame, my sword.

"Stick?"

"You're Lance, right? A lance is a big stick, like your ego." I knew I could've stopped, but I didn't.

"My ego? You're the one that pick me up and tied me to a horse!" Don't you love being a knight?

"That horse is named Swift and if you don't go to bed, I'll knock you into dreamland!" He was wearing my patience very thin.

"First, your name, I do have to give you due honor for rescuing me." He said, moving to his sleeping furs.

"Sir Eric of Brighton is all you are getting, stick." I replied.

"You are not Sir Eric. Tell me your name." He insisted.

"Sir Eric of Brighton," I said through gritted teeth. "Now go to bed!" I pointed Goldflame at him. He quickly got under his covers and closed his eyes, though I doubted he fell asleep. I pulled out my whetstone and started to hone her edges.

Ah… Goldflame said in my mind. You haven't done this in a while, mistress.

Sorry, Goldflame. I've been busy. It's not like you need it.

True, mistress, but it feels nice.

Nightly conversations with my animate sword were common. After a while, I sheathed Goldflame and threw some logs onto the fire. Finally, when I was away getting more wood, Swift whinnied. I bolted, unsure of what was wrong. I heard a voice.

"It's the prince! And his horse!" Oh no they wouldn't! Swift was mine. I peeked into the campsite. Great, bandits. I thought. I donned my armor silently, it was right near where I was standing. I grabbed my helm and jammed it on my head. As I reached to get my shield, I discovered it was where I had set it: on the other side near the bandit's feet. "Oh, look, a family crest!" One said, pointing at my shield.

"Whose is it?" Another asked.

"Rod'll know." What is it with people and naming their children after tools? How could Lance sleep through all this? I charged into the clearing, brandishing Goldflame. She ignited and set waves of light into the shadows, blinding the bandits. Be merciful, I whispered to Goldflame, knowing full-well she'd kill anyone who tried to hurt me or Swift. Don't kill.

It did a sigh. Yes, mistress. Though they deserve the ultimate judgment. Goldflame's burst of light had blinded the bandits, I needed such cover. I hit one hard on the head and he crumpled. Goldflame screeched into the bandit's heads. They clutched their heads and I whacked another one. As I turned to face the third, I saw him charging me. I kicked him in the… ahem… and he fell. When I turned to where Lance had been sleeping… I realized one last fact: Lance had been taken… again… along with my shield.

God, this is so cliché! I thought to myself. I had promised myself something long ago. I wouldn't fall in love. All the princesses fell in love with their "knight-in-shining-armor". Love made you go head-over-heels. I couldn't act like a total airhead and keep my reputation as the Merciful Knight. Sighing, I turned and mounted Swift. We rode off after the wayward prince.

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Lance struggled against his bonds. Once, he'd tried biting one of guards, but then they tied a gag around him. He listened in on a conversation between Rod (the leader) and one of the guys who'd taken him prisoner.

"Whose do you think it is?" The henchman asked.

"This shield?" Rod asked. The other man nodded. "I'm surprised you have it, it belongs to Sir Eric of Brighton."

Nixiesocean: Bwhahaha! And you (might have) thought Katharine wasn't that well known!