Read and Review... (Sorry, the Internet was cut off when I uploaded the chapter last night so I think it didn't upload properly.)
In Temari's room
Temari was currently having very a nice dream, filled with lots and lots of Naruto and herself alone together.
They were having lots of fun together, doing all sorts of typical romance activities. Then suddenly Naruto suddenly pinned her against the apple tree they were drawing pictures themselves on earlier.
"I want you…" whispered Naruto in her ear seductively as he slipped his hand under the light blue skirt she was wearing.
"P-please, I want m-more…" Temari moaned out and gasped at the sensation she felt when he complied. She started ripping Naruto's clothes off and was about to remove his shirt when she felt something tugging at her hair.
Turning her head, the background suddenly switched to a dark angesty street. She saw Naruto walking down it, arms wrapped around two girl's waists while a few more trailed behind and next to him.
She tried to call out at him to come back, but got no response. She started dashing in his direction, but then something tugged at her hair again, and she turned around again and saw to her horror, Naruto being tied up to a wooden cross by Kankuro, who was armed with loads of spears and was laughing like a maniac.
Now if Temari paid attention, she would have noticed the creepy background music and the countless stakes and skeletons all over the place, but something tugged on her hair again, and she turned around, and suddenly woke up…
… to see Naruto sucking cutely on a stray strand of her blonde hair in his sleep.
Temari smiled and blushed at the same time at seeing his adorable face this close. Naruto looked so peaceful, laying next to her while his body moved gently as he breathed in and out repeatedly.
She shifted her body and noted that she was a bit wet somewhere below the waist, obviously a product her dream. Feeling the need to go to the shower, she started to think of a way to wake Naruto up and make him join her.
But before she could get a decent idea, Naruto moaned and turned over in his sleep, letting go of the strand of stray hair in his mouth. Temari was about to get up and go have a nice long shower when she saw a blinking red light in the corner of her eye.
She looked at it and saw a camera video was perched on a small stool in front of her and Naruto in an angle that would record all movements of both of them from head to toe.
After a full minute if staring at it dumbly, realization hit Temari. And everyone in the facility was woken with a furious yell of
"GAARA!!!!"
Temari immediately launched herself at the offending electronic device and grabbed it, ignoring a sleepy Naruto who had woken up form her yell and asked "Whazz up?"
Naruto watched in confusion as his fellow blonde started pounding a video camera to the ground with her fist, her face red with fury and …embarrassment? Naruto was quite good at reading expressions, but recently everybody seemed to act strangely which confused him greatly.
He heard quick footsteps approaching and turned in time to see Kankuro burst through the door. Naruto opened his mouth to say 'Good morning' but was suddenly grabbed by the puppet user and was pulled up by the front of his shirt.
"What did you do to my sis?" snarled Kankuro menacingly at a confused and shocked Naruto. He turned to Temari and said
"You could have called me instead, my room is much closer to yours than Gaara's." before turning back to a now fully woken Naruto who shouted
"I didn't do anything to her you friggen idiot! For god's sake, can't you see that she's pounding a video camera and not me?"
Blinking, Kankuro turned back to Temari who was indeed, still pounding the video camera to dust. But somehow turned even more furious and started shacking Naruto back and forth.
"You bastard! You even taped it as you violated her!! I'm going to skin you alive, feed your brain to dogs and then nail the rest of you at the village gates!!!" he roared and was about to proceed with his plan when Gaara walked in calmly, saying "Kankuro, let him go."
Kankuro glared at Naruto for a few seconds, before letting go of him reluctantly. Gaara looked at Temari, who was still destroying the video camera. "Temari, that camera has no memory card in it."
Temari looked up surprised, wondering when her siblings had come in. "You mean the thing didn't film me or anything?" she asked flushing red.
"No, it didn't." said Gaara, and Temari sighed in relief. Gaara smirked and pointed at her table. "But that one did." he said, making Temari snap her head to that direction. Sure enough, another video camera was sitting innocently on the table, a red light blinking in a regular pattern, meaning…
Temari gasped in horror, face turning bright red. "Nooooo!!" she cried and launched herself at the camera, but her hand grasped thin air when some sand lifted the camera off the table and floated to Gaara, who took it and said "See you on YouTube." before vanishing with his sand to a private room to upload all the new stuff he had just gotten.
Kankuro left the room shortly afterwards, muttering something about keeping an eye on Naruto and closing the door while Naruto stared dumbly at Temari, not understanding what had just happened. "Temari?" he said uncertainly as Temari just sat there, staring straight ahead
When he got no answer, he walked over to her and grabbed her by the arms, shaking her gently. "You okay?" he asked, seeing Temari flop down on her chair and stare at the door. When he received no answer a second time, he thought of what to do. He remembered Gaara saying something about YouTube, but he didn't know what it was.
"Maybe I'll go check what YouTube is…" muttered Naruto as he turned to leave the room. But the words "YouTube" had caught Temari's ears and she immediately sprang onto Naruto, pinning him to the floor.
"Wha? What are you…"
"If you ever go on YouTube, I'll personally destroy every ramen stand in the whole fire country." said Temari threateningly.
But then she realized what position they were in and squeaked, jumping off him at once and blushing furiously.
Naruto sat back up, worry evident on his face.
"Are you feeling alright Temari? One second you're as aggressive as Sakura-chan, the next you're like Hinata. Did someone put something funky in your system?"
Temari blushed, and muttered "I'm okay, and nobody put something funky into my system." 'Wish you would though…' she thought, and her blush deepened.
Naruto noticed this and said "Your red, Temari, do you have a fever or something? Lemme check for you."
Leaning over, he brushed some locks of hair from Temari's face and placed his forehead against hers, something he saw nurses do in those crappy TV shows he saw once at Kiba's place.
Temari's heart literally skipped a beat when she felt Naruto's forehead touch hers and she almost fainted of shock. She didn't know if she should feel relieved or disappointed when Naruto pulled away, saying
"Your temperature seems normal, but you should take a shower and brush your teeth cause you smell like sake."
Nodding stupidly, Temari let herself be pulled up and pushed through the door to the bathroom connected to her room, Naruto closing the door behind her. She walked over to the shower and stripped, dumping the dirty clothing all over the place.
Walking into her shower, she switched on the water and sighed in pleasure when hot water rained down upon her.
Removing her hair ties, she washed her hair and finished her shower after about fifteen minutes. She walked to the sink and grabbed her toothbrush, brushing her teeth.
Feeling refreshed, and completely forgetting that Naruto was in her room, Temari opened her bathroom door and walked back into her room wearing nothing.
"Finally! You took ag…" Naruto stopped mid-sentence when he saw that Temari was completely naked, his mouth hung open in shock,
Temari just stood there, realizing that she was standing fully naked in front of Naruto, who was staring at her in shock. After half a minute of shocked silence, Naruto got his voice back and started freaking out and shouted
"For god's sake put something on Temari!" clamping his eyes shut and turning around.
That ticked Temari off and she stomped forward, not caring that she was naked in front of Naruto. She grabbed the offending blonde by the shoulders, spinning him around so he faced her and pinning him to the ground.
"Are you saying that my body is so ugly that you can't stand looking at it for more than thirty seconds without your eyes burning? Huh?" she shouted, pulling Naruto up and pinning him down again.
Naruto tried to escape with the good ole replacement jutsu but Temari grabbed his hands and pulled them apart, saying "Oh no you don't mister, you aren't going anywhere until you properly appreciate my body!"
Naruto flushed even redder than he already was and replied a
"Do you know what you're saying sounds like!?" with his eyes still shut tight.
Blinking in confusion, Temari stopped for a moment to think about what she said, looking up at the ceiling in thought. A moment later, she realized exactly how that had sounded and flushed scarlet, immediately bounding off Naruto and diving into her futon, wrapping herself in her blanket.
An awkward silence fell between the two blondes as they just sat there, blushing madly.
After about ten minutes of silence, they heard Kankuro calling everyone for breakfast and Naruto said
"Uh... We should go down and eat. I'll wait outside while you change." and walked out of her room, closing the door for her.
Slowly, Temari got up and went to her closet. After staring dumbly at the contents for a moment, she just grabbed a random set of clothing and put them on. After tying her hair in her usual way, she opened her door and proceeded to breakfast with Naruto, who was still a bit red in the face.
Breakfast Table
Everybody's attention was focused on Temari and Naruto when they entered. Kankuro had obviously been ranting about Naruto violating Temari and Shizune, Tenten and Hinata were not-so-secretly glaring jealously at the female blonde while likewise Neji and Sasuke just glared at Naruto for their own reasons while Jiraiya mumbled a "Lucky prick…" at the male blonde.
"Let's eat." said Gaara who had just arrived and sat down at the table. He picked up his knife and fork and started eating the stuff on his plate, completely ignoring the tense atmosphere around him.
Shooting a few last glares at the blondes at the table, the boys and girls started on their own food.
Even though Naruto was happily oblivious to the whole situation, he couldn't help but notice how the two teens across him were savagely stabbing their sausages over and over again until the food were completely mutilated before dipping the poor food into some ketchup, bringing the abused food up to their mouths and chomping on them with so much force that Naruto could hear the dull clucking sounds of teeth banging into teeth.
The girls were similar, except they were grinding their eggs with their teeth, making Naruto shiver and wonder what was up. He then glanced at Ino who was staring at her plate, poking at her food but not eating much.
He wondered what was bothering her and after a while remembered their little kissing incident last night. He blushed a little as he recalled how soft her lips had felt, and how he almost let out a moan of pleasure when her tongue traced his mouth shyly.
'She's a really good kisser, isn't she?' said a faint feminine voice.
'Yeah…' thought Naruto staring at Ino's soft lips dazedly.
"You're wondering if she is soft everywhere else.' the voice whispered in his ear.
'Yeah…' thought Naruto as he watched Ino open her mouth to elegantly eat a piece of sausage.
'You want to touch her...' the voice whispered seductively.
'Yeah…' thought Naruto nodding slightly as Ino brushed a few stray hairs from her face after taking a sip of her orange juice.
'Feel her…'the voice continued.
'Yeah…' thought Naruto nodding again
'Fuck her…" the voice finished smirking.
'Yeah… Wait, who the hell is in my head?' thought Naruto turning red as he realized he had just admitted those things to a female voice in his head.
'The queen of S&Ming and the greatest female perverted demon of the world!' replied the voice.
'Uh… Kyuubi? That you?' Naruto thought uncertainly.
'Duh… who else could talk in your head without going crazy with your stupidly thoughts?' said Kyuubi.
'But why do you sound like a girl?' Naruto thought curiously, wondering if it was some kind of sick joke.
'Cause I am one you dumb ass.' came the reply.
'…What the hell…?' was all Naruto thought.
'What…Got a problem with me not having a dick?' said the demon fox sounding annoyed.
'Sorta…' replied Naruto truthfully.
'Just accept it before I embarrass you right now in public.' Kyuubi said.
'But…' whined Naruto.
'No buts or I'll make you pounce on Ino right now and make the dreams you had last night become reality.' Said the Kyuubi sternly and wickedly at the same time.
'Huh? Isn't that a good thing? ... Wait! Wait! Wait! I mean it's not good!'
'I wasn't planning to… but since you want it so much, I'll make the first move for you right here.' cackled the female fox.
'No! Don't you dare make me rape Ino in front of everybody!' Naruto yelled in his mind.
'Maybe She wants it too you know…' said Kyuubi casually.
'NO! NOT in PUBLIC!' Yelled Naruto desperately in his mind as he knew perfectly well that Kyuubi really did have the power to make him lose control and jump onto Ino.
'In private then?' suggested Kyuubi.
'NO!!!'
'Even if you see this?' said Kyuubi as she flashed an image of an Ino with her clothes half ripped off, laying in a large bed staring lustfully at him.
"Uh!!! Noo!!! Stop it!" Naruto yelled aloud and banged his head on the table repeatedly as Kyuubi send image after image of Ino in all sorts of perverted poses, the fox's cackling ringing in the background.
Everybody at the table stopped eating to stare at Naruto as he continued to bang his head hard against the table, denting the steel before Gaara's sand wrapped around the furniture-abusing-blonde and pulling him away from the poor piece of metal on four legs.
"Naruto, we're leaving soon so stop destroying the few brain cells you happen to have in that thick skull of yours." said Gaara sternly.
Sasuke, Neji and Kankuro snorted with satisfaction when they saw Naruto cross eyed and a slightly bruised forehead. Naruto then blacked out when a fist of sand hit him hard on the back of the head.
"Okay, since everybody's eaten their breakfast. Let's get those scrolls and head back to Konoha shall we?" said Jiraiya cheerfully, wanting to get back quickly so he could do some more 'research'.
Gaara nodded and motioned for the others to follow him, dumping Naruto on the floor. The Konoha kunoichis apart from Kurenai, Sakura and Ino (The first two had enough sense while Ino was too embarrassed to even look at him) started fussing over him.
Tenten and Hinata were following instructions from a frantic Shizune who was checking his heartbeat, temperature, blood pressure and all sorts of stuff while the males just huffed and followed Gaara through the door to the room where the scrolls were stored.
Kurenai and Sakura watched dumbly as Shizune pulled out a scroll and summoned an electric thingy doctors use that zaps patients back to life. Ino, who saw her lov… I mean comrade still breathing normally, stepped in quickly before he was zapped to death by a hysteric medic-nin.
"Shizune-san, Naruto is okay, just a bit dizzy or something. So you really don't have to electrify him you know." she said, putting her hand on Shizune's arm that held the zapping thingy.
"But he's all limp and just lying there!" cried Shizune trying to get to Naruto but then Kurenai also stepped in.
"Shizune, get a grip on yourself. Naruto is fine so put that dangerous machine away." she said putting her hands on her hips.
"And you two… get out of those ridiculous costumes right now." she said raising her eyebrows at Tenten and Hinata who were wearing white nurse outfits topped with the hats with red crosses on them.
Sakura was getting a headache. Her friends were all acting weird and she was going to snap soon if this kind of stuff didn't stop. Temari, who had went to the restroom a while ago walked back in to see her precious Naruto sprawled on the floor. Needless to say, she freaked out.
"Oh my god! Naruto are you alright?" she shrieked and flung herself forward, landing on her knees as she grabbed Naruto by the collar shaking him back and forth. Sighing in defeat, Sakura took the matter into her own hands and picked up the pink hammer from a corner of the room.
A series of bonking noises sounded and Tenten, Hinata, Shizune and Temari were out cold with lumps on their heads. She sighed again, walked over and knelt over Naruto, performing a few quick hand seals. Her hands glowed green and she placed them over Naruto's forehead. A few seconds later, Naruto woke up muttering stuff about pale blonde hair and delicious creamy skin.
Ino heard this and flushed red, looking away from Naruto and wondering if he was thinking about her. Sakura wasn't pleased and bonked him on the head with her fist saying
"Get your mind out of the gutter and help me drag the girls to the scroll room now."
So they went off to the scroll room to meet up with the rest of the guys and the poor abused steel table was forgotten.
Somewhere in a dark evil looking room
Orochimaru glared impatiently at Kabuto as the silver-haired medic took out a piece of cardboard with letters of different sizes stamped on it.
"Are we done yet?" he said glaring at his subordinate who was setting the board on a stand a few meters away from him.
"Just this test left Orochimaru-sama." said Kabuto pushing up his glasses.
"Orochimaru-sama, I want you to read out the letters starting from the smallest ones from the bottom." he said taking out a metal rod and pointing at a lime of letters at the bottom of the board.
"What kind of useless test is this?" snarled the snake sannin as he tried to make out the letters on the offending board.
"Uh…I, L, O, V, E, S, A, S, U, K, and E." he said, making Kabuto frown.
"Okay, Orochimaru-sama. The next line." Kabuto said, jabbing at the line of letters above the first line. Orochimaru frowned in concentration as he tried to make out the letters.
"Lets see… P, E, D, O, P, H, I, L, and E." he said uncertainly as Kabuto took notes on a clipboard with a frown on his face.
"Okay, Orochimaru-sama, the next line please." said Kabuto with a serious look on his face.
"I, A, M, G, A… and Y." said Orochimaru getting irritated. Kabuto seemed to be very concerned about something when he said "The last line please, Orochimaru-sama."
"Um… A…N…A…and…L?" the sannin said annoyed at something.
Kabuto put down his clipboard, looking at his master solemnly.
"Orochimaru-sama…" he started and a dead silence trailed for a few seconds.
"You need glasses immediately."
"…"
A large portion of the rice country was suddenly destroyed when an enormous purple snake appeared out of nowhere and started destroying everything in sight. If one would listen closely, they would hear somebody screaming
"I don't need f#$king glasses!!!!"
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