Scene 18
In a car on the highway.
PIPPIN: Are we there yet?
GANDALF: No.
PIPPIN: Are we there yet?
GANDALF: No.
PIPPIN: Are we there yet?
GANDALF: NO!! WE ARE NOT THERE YET!! PLEASE, WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!!
(PIPPIN begins to cry. GANDALF sighs, annoyed.)
GANDALF: If I buy you some candy, will you just shut up!!
PIPPIN: (stops crying immediately) Candy!! Yay for candy! Wheeeee!
GANDALF: Why me…OH THANK THE VALAR!! Pippin, we're there!
PIPPIN: (sniffs) Really?
GANDALF: Yes, really. Look out the window and you can see the White City.
PIPPIN: What White City?
GANDALF: Minas Tirith, of course. It's where the Steward of Gondor lives. Ah, here's the parking lot! (GANDALF parks and he and PIPPIN walk towards Minas Tirith.)
PIPPIN: It looked a lot bigger from back there.
GANDALF: It's just a model.
PIPPIN: Oh. Well that explains a lot!
GANDALF: Now, Pippin, remember, Lord Denethor is an fat, prejudiced old man who has a sadistic obsession with a breeding an over-developed inferiority complex in his younger son. Don't tell him about Aragorn, or the Ring, or Frodo, or Boromir, for that matter.
PIPPIN: Who's Boromir?
GANDALF: It doesn't matter. In fact, Peregrin Took, it would be better if you did not speak at all. (GANDALF and PIPPIN look at one another for a moment, and burst in to laughter, tears rolling down their faces.)
PIPPIN: Ha ha, me not talk!! Ha ha ha!! You're a real joker!!
GANDALF: Ha ha ha, got that right, ha ha ha!!