2…Unraveling and Mending

Sam sat in the dark observation room. The tears in her eyes clouded her vision to the point where she could barely make out the placement of the equipment in the room, then slipped down her face and onto the empty bed in front of her. She thought she was past this point, but somehow she ended up back here: in the observation room. She felt as if she slipped into a black tunnel of grief. She stood determined, wiped her eyes, stepped back and turned to leave and as she did she nearly ran into herself.

Sam tensed and then sighed a deep sigh that firmly expressed 'not now!' They got them all. Didn't they?! She ran to pull the alarm and nothing sounded. She picked up the phone and only found silence. She ran out into the hall; only to re-enter the room facing her double again. She tried again with the same result.

The General looked at the tear stained face curiously, trying to gauge the moment. Why was she crying? Was it Daniel, Janet,….Jack?

Colonel Carter slid down the wall in defeat. They couldn't win. What had been real, what hadn't? Had he really died?

The General sat across from her. Not wanting to give away anything she didn't have to, "Major?"

"Colonel." She corrected flatly.

"Not Janet then…Daniel?" She asked quietly.

Sam looked at her oddly, "What could you possibly care?" Her double continued to look at her oddly and it was getting rather irritating, "What do you want?"

"Sorry, nothing. Too early again. I was just concerned. I can't place the time exactly and I'm not sure-"

"My Dad…..my Dad is dead. He's not supposed to be. You are. He wouldn't have died, if he didn't think we weren't going to succeed and now…he died for nothing."

The General realized the moment, the sense of dread at seeing herself at this point in her life would be a slap in the face. This was really bad timing. Too early and just really, really bad timing.

"I'm not her, Sam. Dad did succeed. You know he didn't die in vain. He did what he had to do. We were lucky to have that time with him. Luckily he didn't die out there somewhere, when we couldn't have said goodbye. Luckily he didn't die of cancer without the chance to really get to know him the way we did."

Sam's stomach turned at the thought of this Replicator referring to her Dad as her own.

The General kept her distance so she did not alarm the Colonel, but did continue to try and reassure her, "I'm not her, Sam. She's gone. I don't need anything from you. Unfortunately we are stuck here for a few hours, so you will have to put up with me for a little while longer. But I-"

"Stuck here?"

"Do you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"When the Colonel was stuck on Edora, I came and we talked for a few hours…"

Sam looked at her more closely…the wrinkles, the older, wiser General. She couldn't even trust her older-wiser alter ego, not now. A more naïve, exhausted Sam could toy with the idea that the experience could have been real, but not anymore. Not after everything she had been through. Nevertheless she relaxed slightly in the hopes that this was not the Replicator version of herself.

She looked at her cautiously, "Where are the stars? Have we given up, did I screw up…did something change?"

"No, just thought I would leave them home this time. A sort of casual Friday, without the Friday if you will."

"Okay."

"Sorry, I didn't come here, to this time on purpose. I thought I was closer. I never would have-"

"Closer?"

"As I mentioned before, I need something from you, but it's still too soon."

"Having trouble with your aim?"

"Something like that. It's okay really. I know with everything you've experienced you are more likely to believe this is a deception of alien influence, even more than a dream or hallucination. Hathor, Apophis, Fifth, …Prometheus…her. Things often are not quite what they seem."

"Tell me about it."

The General looked around the room remembering her Dad in the bed and wiped a tear from her eye. Being brought back to this moment in here was all too real, even this far removed. Her Dad and Selmack probably could have helped her through this. Then again he probably would have told her she was crazy. Maybe she was. This was dangerous. She was messing with her past. If her visits changed anything, it could be for the worse.

Jack found her on the floor of the observation room. The recent events had obviously been more of a strain than she had led on, and more than he had realized. He picked her up and gently placed her on the bed, then called Dr. Brightman. He stood close to the bed pushing the hair off her face and wiping the evidence of her tears away. She looked so peaceful and he wondered how he could have believed she could really be okay with everything she had been through recently. How could he let her get away with telling him she was 'fine'? Dr. Brightman came in with a nurse and he stepped out of the way.

He'd rather not be in this room. So many feelings of dread washed over him - Kawalsky, Daniel, Carter, Teal'c, Cassie and now Jacob – too many near misses and goodbyes. But he wouldn't leave and no one could order him out either. Now he got to do whatever he wanted, and right now not even Carter could argue with him on that one.

"Colonel Carter, can you hear me?" the doctor asked as she shined the light in her eyes. With the nurse she evaluated her. "She's unconscious, Sir, but seems stable. We'll run some more tests. I'm going to keep her here for now." Jack nodded with his hands clenched deep in his pockets. When the nurse left with the blood samples and Dr. Brightman moved over to make sure the monitors were set-up properly, he rolled a stool over towards her with his foot and sat with her to wait.

They had both been quiet for sometime. Perhaps Sam should see if she could determine what was going on, but she didn't really care. She should care, last week she would have cared. She would have pushed and pushed to figure this out, but right now it didn't matter if she was dreaming or if it was that Replicator. All she had wanted was a little respite to gather her thoughts, re-stabilize before getting thrown back into the thick of things. Instead she was here.

That was it. This was the last straw she was transferring - transferring to some place quieter, where her thoughts could be her own, for at least a little while. With Pete out of the picture she was free to pursue her life without considering anyone else again, or was she? Truthfully, she had not had that freedom for sometime, her commitment to the team…to him. But now things were changing. Teal'c had other priorities and Daniel was being pulled in another direction. It seemed like a good time to make a break. She had drifted off thinking, and almost forgot where she was and that she was not alone.

"What are you thinking about?" the General asked. Curious of what this experience was doing to her current state.

"Oh, that maybe it's time to make some changes…."

"Try something different?"

"Yeah." The General nodded. This was a pivotal juncture. Things had to happen just right, as she looked back she marveled at the way the paths split and converged. Life was funny that way. Stepping back often had a way of bringing things into focus. She smiled. "What?"

"Just appreciating hindsight."

"Ba'al."

"What?"

"You're Ba'al."

"No Sam, it really is simply me, you….us."

"You want to know more about Dakara."

"Ba'al knew everything he needed to know about Dakara, without me, you….us."

"So where are we?"

"Another dimension. One without the constraints of….Interesting, I know you don't believe me, and yet….Oh you are trying to see if you can find holes in what I say, so you can determine what's really happening."

"No….maybe."

"Well, we're on another plane of existence where linear time is irrelevant. Tricky to stabilize for this purpose, but doable for a short period of time."

"We're in another dimension?"

"Our consciousnesses are."

"Cool," she couldn't help herself.

"Our physical beings are in our proper dimensions, most likely being attended to by the usual highly trained medical professionals; at least on my end. Were you alone in the observation room?" Sam nodded. "The SGC is a hard place to be alone for very long." The General smiled reassuringly.

Sam envied that smile. This woman was patient and content, and Sam felt no contentment. She still wondered if she had done the right thing breaking up with Pete. Maybe she wanted too much. Maybe she was just being unrealistic. No, she was right. Settling wouldn't have been good for either of them. "How?" She asked. Funny that she felt she needed a distraction from herself.

"Oh just another Ancient device; takes a bit of mastering. The first time I ended up with my…our seven year old self. Interesting conversations there." Sam's brow furrowed at a glimpse of a memory that had never quite made sense. But she quickly shook it off. There were too many ways to manipulate real and false memories in these situations. "You remember...Don't worry it shouldn't be much longer."

"Then what?"

"You'll wake up and go on with life. Make those changes you're contemplating and see what happens."

"That's it?"

"From my stand point, yes."

"So you want me to make changes?"

"Sam, I don't want to influence any decisions you make. It's in my best interest not to influence you in anyway."

"But, you risked-"

"Not intentionally."

"It's risky coming back and what three times?"

"Four, if I get it right the next time."

"What happens when you do…get it right?"

"We'll have a talk. If I don't, it will be yet another lovely jaunt down memory lane. More quality time with myself."

"And when will that be?"

The General smiled. "Don't worry, I'm getting better at this. Not too much longer."

Sam sat with a start. Raising her hands sharply to her head she knocked General O'Neill in the chin making him bite his tongue. "Carter." He screamed in a muffled voice as he covered his mouth.

"What?" She looked around confused and startled. She was still in the darkened observation room, but with a different General. One who looked like he was in a lot of pain. "Oh sorry, did I do that?"

"It's alright." He tried to reassure her through the pain.

Dr. Brightman stepped in, "How are you feeling Colonel Carter?"

"Disoriented."

"Have you been skipping meals, Colonel? I know you're under a lot of stress, but your blood chemistry requires you to keep on top of…" she stopped knowing she had already given the Colonel the speech several times since she had been here. It was something the woman should already be on top of without constant reminders.

"I know." Sam looked down. It was times like these that Janet's absence was wholly felt.

"Carter, you listen to the doctor or I'll make three squares an order."

"Yes, sir. Can I go home, Doctor?"

"Wow, doc. Run some more tests stat, something is terribly wrong." The two of them looked at him. "She never asks to go home."

"I don't think it's a good idea that you are alone tonight, Colonel. You were unconscious for quite a while."

Sam looked Jack squarely in the eyes, "I won't be." She looked away before Dr. Brightman looked up from the monitor, but not before she got her confirmation. He nodded ever so slightly and it was enough for her.

"Well, alright, I write down instructions for how often you need to be checked on…"

"Seeing as you're alright, Colonel, I'm going to go get some work done. Come by my office before you head home?"

The smile on his face triggered one of her own, "Yes, sir."