5…Two hundred…Pancakes?

Sam stepped out of the shower, and dried her hair with a towel as she walked to her locker. They had just returned from the party for Cam's 200th time through the Gate. In some strange way she appreciated having Vala around, she helped Sam feel more……sane, I mean what were a few hallucinations compared to being Vala?

Vala herself was finishing up at her locker, "So are you going for pancakes with us? Daniel said they are open all night. Can you imagine, pancakes at anytime of the day? Teal'c and Cam are coming. You can invite your yummy General to join us."

Sam looked at her surprised, but then realized what a waste of time that would be to try to feign ignorance with Vala, "Yummy, General?"

"Come on, it'll be fun," Vala smiled as she imitated Cam.

"Daniel already asked. We're going."

"Oh goodie." Vala clapped her hands and turned to close her locker and when she turned back around she found Sam lying on the floor. She ran to her, and then ran to the door and called for help. The guys were already waiting for them outside the locker room.

They ran in. Jack knelt down beside her and held her face, "Sam….Sam." He checked her pulse, as Daniel called the infirmary. Jack looked up at Vala, "Did she say anything?"

"No."

"Anything at all?"

"No!" Vala yelled back. She was not one to be intimidated, and certainly wasn't to blame this time either.

"Sam….Sam. Did she look alright?"

"She looked fine. We were talking about the marvelously convenient availability of pancakes on your planet…I closed my locker, turned around and she was on the floor."

"Sam…come on baby…"

"Baby?" Cam said quietly and Daniel elbowed him. "What?" Daniel elbowed him again, "but the General he just-"

"Yeah, Mitchell he does that to everyone. You should hear his pet name for Teal'c." Cam looked around Daniel to Teal'c, who raised an eyebrow at him.

They all stepped out of the way when the medical team arrived and Jack back away as well. He ran his hand through his hair. "Her, uhh pulse is elevated and…" he looked scared.

Daniel could tell Jack was not doing well, he walked over and pulled him out, "Come on, Jack. Let's give them some room."

They all made their way to the infirmary and waited.

Dr. Lam, approached the group. She looked from Daniel, to Teal'c, to Colonel Mitchell, to the man in the leather jacket whom she couldn't quite place. She was trying to figure out who exactly to address. Vala was actually the only one to realize her dilemma and feigned offense that the woman did not even acknowledge her. Daniel looked at Vala puzzled, then pulled Jack by the arm toward Dr. Lam away from the others.

"Dr. Lam this is General O'Neill."

"General." She greeted. "Oh, General O'Neill." She remembered him now as a friend of her Dad's.

Jack got his bearings and regained command, "Daniel, go back and sit down."

"You sure, Jack?"

He nodded as he bit his lip. Dr. Lam looked at the two of them confused, but realized she was supposed to talk to the General.

"General, she's unconscious and.."

"This isn't the first time."

"No."

"We're married."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know Colonel Carter-" he waved it off for her to continue. "Was there anything at the party, did she say anything about not feeling well?" Jack shook his head. "Well, we'll run some tests and see what we can figure out."

Jack returned and heard Vala whining, "Daniel, I'm hungry."

"You kids go ahead. It will be awhile before they know anything."

"How is she?"

"She probably just short circuited," Jack smiled.

"Jack?"

"Daniel- Look there's only one chair in there. Go." Daniel nodded, reluctantly. Teal'c bowed. He would stay, but did not want to invade his friends' privacy. "Have fun."

They left, but no one was planning on having any fun. In fact, they only went as far as the commissary.

Sam sat up from tying her shoe and was startled to have someone so close, so fast.

"Relax, it's just me."

Sam jumped up and looked toward Vala's locker. It was closed and she was no where to be seen. "Oh, fer crying out loud!" she yelled as she slammed her locker door shut.

"Cute….Look, I told you I'd be back." Sam pushed a deep aggravated breath out. "We're one and the same. Do you think if I feel so strongly about this, that I am giving up?"

"Do you realize what you could do to my future if you keep this up?"

"Yes," she stretched her arms out in frustration.

"This is futile."

"I agree."

Sam let out a grunt of frustration and the General sighed.

"How can you possibly believe that there is a solution to this that we can both live with?" Sam fell back down to the bench both fist clenching the bench on either side of her. Her head hung in the despair, certain that this was not going to be so easily written off this time.

"Never give up." Sam looked up toward the door. "Jack was out there, by now he knows and unlike everyone else he knows this isn't only the second time. He's really worried and it will only get worse"

"I have a sensitive blood chemistry," she reasoned.

"He's not going to buy that. Especially when it happens again next week, and the following…"

"He's a tough guy, he'll survive."

"Not when it comes to us?"

"You will get me fired!"

"Well, that would certainly stop me."

"You don't want that."

"I don't want to be here now. You want to see me lose it. Is that what you're aiming for? You want me to lose patience with you and reveal my true self. Well, here it is. Surprise, it's me….you. And, I am losing patience."

"That makes two of us, but there's still nothing I can give you."

"Sam-"

"Don't. It doesn't matter. You know that. You wouldn't break either, you know that. If you were 99.9 sure, you wouldn't give in."

The General sat defeated on the bench and shook her head. All of this work, for nothing. How could she not know it was so useless? How could she know herself so poorly?

"See?"

"If I do, it's only because I'm telling the truth."

"I know."

"Ironic."

"Yeah."

Sam wondered what would push her to the point of making so many attempts. Of risking so much…working so hard to get to this point….to get this information. What would make her feel so desperate? Just how much did she have to lose? Did she have children? What was at sake exactly? Questions she couldn't ask. Questions she wouldn't answer.

Sam stood and walked toward the showers, only to be once again facing herself. Frustrated by the limitations of this space she slid down to the floor and folded her arms on her knees and put her head down.

The General envied the simplicity of her life; the still very black and white world of her life as a Colonel. Things were certainly starting to grey for her some time ago, and not just her hair. Years from now before she had to start to make the very difficult choices that gave her such a deeper appreciation for all of the difficult decisions General Hammond and Jack had to make. All of the times she could rest in the reasoning of orders from the people she trusted. She didn't have to agree, she just had to trust their leadership and as more time passed she found herself more often on that side. Others having to trust her regardless of whether they agreed.

It was similar to parenting, surprisingly similar. Yes, life was simpler for the Colonel, even now. She had not had to put her foot down and stand firm, not backing down from a defiant three-year old melt-down in the middle of the grocery store or numerous teams under her watch that wanted to explore this ruin or rescue that team. There were other factors involved that she had to take into consideration that they did not, that the Colonel in front of her hadn't yet, either.

Yet, she respected this woman. She was getting comfortable with herself as she approached forty. The Colonel was more resilient than the Major she encountered all of those times ago. She was more mature, much more certain of who she was and how important she was to the program. She felt this strange sense of pride watching her. Even in despair and frustration, the Colonel was an impressive woman. She had nothing to prove to anyone on this base. She showed them all, made her peace with her Dad, and somewhere along the line even managed to come to terms with Jack.

Sam wondered how this all got to this point. How could she risk her past, her career? She tried to push the thought out of her head. This could just as easily be an alien influence, Sam. This entire thing could be memory plants of events that did not even happen. Don't fall for it. For all she knew she could still be Major all those years ago, before the threat of the Ori. Maybe it was the same old team, Janet didn't die, her Dad didn't die, Hammond was still in charge….no Ori, Cam, Landry, or Vala. Oh seriously now, could someone really have the creativity to make up Vala? She laughed at herself.

"What's so funny?"

"Thinking about someone trying to create Vala. Like as a character in a story." They both laughed.

"I guess there is no way out of this. You really aren't going to help me, are you?" Sam nodded and rested her chin on her folded arms. "You know this has been a very interesting journey. A few days ago I was entertaining a seven year old; she was something else. Then seeing the 31 year old version; boy was she naïve."

"Hey! Well okay."

"You've come a long way baby."

"Gee thanks, my life reduced to a cigarette ad campaign."

"It's been enlightening, Colonel."

"Tell me about it. Even not being sure of who you are, you've influenced the woman I am. It's like seeing what I can be, and seeing that I will still be me."

"I get it."

"I had a feeling you would." Sam turned her head and looked at the door, a useless door. "General, I think I have a solution, but in a way you'll have to be patient and trust me, well actually come to think of it you won't. You'll know when you return what you need to do. Tell me what you need."

"I knew you'd figure it out." The General smiled. There was so much she wanted to share with her, but hoped there wasn't too much time left so that she would be tempted to spoil any of it for her.

Sam's opened her eyes and to her right she found exactly what she expected. "Hi."

"Hi." He looked concerned. "Something you need to tell me?"

"What?"

"About the baby."

She hit him playfully upside the head. "Jack, that's not funny. I'm not pregnant. Now stop worrying. I'm fine."

He started laughing, "Okay well, it seemed funny at the time. But, you're not fine. Perfectly healthy people don't go unconscious while tying their shoes, riding in elevators or while lying in bed on Sunday morning."

"Jack, it won't happen again. I promise."

"See how can you promise something like that?"

"Because, I'm Sam Carter."

"That's not even an answer."

"Because I'm Sam Carter-O'Neill?"

"Stop it Samantha, it's not funny." She knew he was really worried, but she felt confident this would work.

"Spring me out of this joint and I'll tell you, then you can decide for yourself. But you let them keep me here and I won't tell you, and you'll be stuck here with no pancakes."

"You are an evil woman."

"I know. Pancakes Jack. Take it or leave it." He was very hungry and she knew how to manipulate him. He had been sitting here waiting for hours. He didn't go eat with the gang, and she knew him that well.

"Dr. Lam!"

"So what Sam, you just forget to eat." Cam asked.

"It's his fault, really." She pointed to Jack. "I got used to having him here and making sure these pesky little necessities of life were taken care of, so I agreed to check in with Dr. Lam for the next two weeks and they let me go so I could eat." Sure it seemed like a plausible explanation.

"Who the hell needs to be told to eat?" Cam asked.

"Seriously!" Jack responded shoving more of his pancakes in his mouth.

Sam waited, and waited. For months she held her breath every time the elevator seemed to take a little too long, or she woke up on a lazy, sunny, Sunday morning, even a couple of times in the locker room….but, nothing happened. She wondered about the consequences of her plan. If she did as planned, would she still be the person she is, would she still remember? Would the fact that she did this negate the need for her visits back and therefore change who she was today?

Late in April of 2008 she woke up and decided that that was the day. It was a very rainy and dreary morning Sam noted as she exited the bank. It was a bank she had never walked into before and would not be back to for sometime. The rental of the safety deposit box was paid in full for the next twenty years, just to be safe. It was a bank that had been around for a good century or so, so she felt confident it would most likely be around for another 17 years…..or so. By some stroke of luck or perhaps good leadership, she wouldn't need to make that visit back there. She hoped. She patted the key in her pocket. Tomorrow she would decide where she would keep the key. She hoped she was doing the right thing. But she had to trust herself, after all who better? She pulled the hood of her jacket up over her head and ran for car.