stars at the end of the chapter name signals that there is certain content involved in the story that isn't appropriate for some people. the more stars, the more yaoi-ish-ness. just thought i'd give a heads up!

Chap III

Amazing how people grow as time transcends. Not only do our minds change, but so do our hearts. And when hearts transform, so does the very existence of the person. What is it like to love? What is it like to feel true happiness and smile when you want to? This all changes when the heart does. Happiness becomes another, sadness becomes another, but love...love remains the same. It remains as that sensation flowing through the blood of a body. Passion, indescribable. Heat, beyond explanation. Nobodies and the Heartless couldn't possibly know what it feels like to love another. No, that must be a lie. Maybe by further examination of the Nobodies, the question will eventually clear.

Axel rested his cheek in his hand and sat lazily in his seat. Slightly above him was that boy...the one he had seen shivering at the very sight of darkness. He was the one that had been curious to know who he was and was relived when his beaming eyes fell upon the light. How he amazed him. He scooted forward in his chair and continued to gaze up at the blonde, his teal eyes glancing over that soft skin and azure eyes that currently stared solemnly at the ground far below. "No! Stop it, Axel! You barely know him. You barely know him!" He yelled in his head and averted his eyes.

"Well, seeing as you were the one who found him," came a stern voice at Axel's right.

Axel casually turned his head to face the owner of the voice whose face was hidden behind a dark hood. He leaned back and ruffled the hair at the back of his head. "I should get an award or somethin', right?" He joked teasingly.

The man chuckled once and crossed his arms. "...seeing as you're that one that found him...that means you're that one that has to take care of the kid."

Axel widened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" He asked idiotically.

"You heard me. It's Xemnas' orders. You've gotta do some babysitting now, Axel!" He began laughing out loud to himself afterward.

Axel glared at him and turned away in annoyance. It didn't seem to help get his mind off Roxas though for he was just turning toward him again. His eyes slowly wandered to Roxas again. Roxas didn't seem to notice...and even if he did, he didn't seem to care.

"Great. I've gotta take care of him? Since when did this happen? I went off on my own when I joined up! Why's blondie so special?"

"Well, be seein' you, Axel." The man at his right stared up again and signaled farewell with a light salute. "Have fun with your little buddy!" Axel could still hear the man's strong laugh even after he disappeared into his own dark void. With his fists clenched, Axel began to glance around the room where several of the others were beginning to dismiss themselves...all but he and Roxas remained in the gathering room.

He stared up at Roxas who still kept quiet, his blank eyes seeming as if tears would begin streaming at any second. He didn't seem to care that people had already left. He didn't seem to care about anything...nothing. Axel chuckled lightly and lay back into his chair. "Did you take the news that badly?" He called up to Roxas.

Roxas simply shut his eyes and absently swung his dangling feet in circles. "No." He responded shortly.

"Let's get outta here. Look's like I've gotta take care of you until you've gotten used to the Organization." Axel forcefully pushed off from his seat and landed softly onto the floor beneath him. He sighed and glanced upward at the small body of black that stared in awe back at him. "Don't tell me you can't jump either?" He called.

"I can too!" Roxas retorted, pulling his feet up onto his marble chair, still staring down at Axel who seemed so far from him. Hesitant at first, he paused and stared dizzily at the grey symbol painted on the floor.

"Come on, I'll catch you if you don't land right!" Axel said with a laugh.

"Are you crazy?" Roxas called back, finally pushing off. He began free falling at a slow pace which felt awkward to him. Almost like he was flying was what it was like. It wasn't until he reached solid ground again did he stumble and nearly fall flat on his face. He felt a sudden push against his face and stared up at Axel a bit shaken. "Are you crazy?" He repeated against Axel's chest.

"Most of the time, yeah." Axel replied, grabbing Roxas roughly by the shoulders and setting him straight again. As Roxas walked ahead of him to the door that left the room, he kept that image in his head: staring down at that innocent face when he saved him from a fall. He shook his head and stared into the palms of his hands as he walked. "Am I really that crazy?"

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"Axel," Roxas began.

"Huh?" Axel looked up and brought his hands to his side again.

"Have you ever...you know, really wanted to be a human?" He stopped abruptly and turned around when they were only halfway down a deserted road.

"Where'd that come from?" Axel asked, scratching the side of his head.

"It's just that...Xemnas told me..."

"Oh, yeah. The whole story he told you..." Axel interrupted, gazing up at the night sky.

"He didn't really give me the whole story. Just a chapter of it." Roxas added disappointedly.

"Here's the thing," Axel began, slowly continuing down the street, "we, as in you, I, Demyx, and all those other black hooded people are a different form of Nobodies. Nobodies in real life look like a white Heartless. We're more like...humans without hearts."

"Heartless..."

"Those things that attacked you earlier. Hah, and the ones that I had to defeat to save your sorry ass." Axel chuckled and Roxas couldn't help but join him.

"Oh, yeah," Roxas stared when it nearly hurt to laugh, "Xemnas told me a little about them. He doesn't like to talk much does he?"

"Nah. Unlike other people in the Order. He did tell you about the Order, didn't he?"

Roxas paused for a bit and shook his head, feeling a bit stupid. "Sorry..."

Axel lowered his head and slapped his hand over his forehead. "There you go again with the apologies! There's nothing to be sorry for! Geez you're such a pansy."

"Am not!" Roxas clenched his fist threateningly and cursed to himself.

"Look, it's fine. You're new here so if you don't know an answer, just say you don't know it. You don't gotta apologize for it. Got it memorized?" Axel asked, waiting for an assurance from Roxas.

"Ugh, fine." Roxas groaned and plodded alongside him, feeling slightly defeated. "So, I'm guessing all those people back there plus you, me, and Xemnas are the Organization?"

"Hah, bingo. See? You do have a brain."

"You're so weird." Roxas mumbled.

The two continued down the street at a snail's pace. Roxas wondered why the world he was in was so filled with darkness. He at least expected a fragment of light to be there...but nothing but the neon lights from the street served as the little light the world could offer. Why wasn't he so afraid of it now? He could recall shuddering and hiding his face from the darkness not too long ago. Now he was walking through it fearlessly and un-blinded. He was afraid of it...he was only curious about it. He brought his eyes to Axel and recalled what had occurred earlier in his first visit to the white room. What exactly did happen? He turned away instantly. Was it wrong if he asked Axel why he had pinned him to the wall? He must have been going into a state of mind that he was unable to control. Axel was probably trying to bring him back to consciousness in a way...in a way he...

"Yeah, I have wanted to be human..."

Roxas jolted back to reality and stared back at his companion. "What?"

"I thought about it a couple of times before. I never enjoyed being nobody...I think I like it as much as the next guy..."

"Yeah...like me." Roxas agreed. Like he mentioned to himself, it pained him really.

"But hearts probably aren't all that great if most of my memories of one are dark."

"Dark?" Both suddenly stopped in the street, wrapped in the conversation.

"Sometimes...thinking about having a heart just makes me appreciate that I'm nobody. But then again, heh, it would be nice to be called by your real name."

Roxas didn't really know what he meant by 'name' but he simply nodded once to tell Axel that he understood. As he stared at Axel, he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He didn't know how long Axel had been in the Organization but for as long as he had been a Nobody, he must have always wanted a heart. Roxas soon began to think about it to himself. Did he want a heart? True, those memories of having a heart weren't the best, but they weren't the worst either. A heart would complete him. A heart would give him a personality...feelings, and a life. "You think you'll become human one day, Axel?" He asked, breaking the silence between them.

Axel kept his eyes ahead of him and stayed frozen in place. "...Maybe." He replied softly. "See, Xemnas is after a place called Kingdom Hearts. It's where all the Heartless keep the hearts they collect from living humans. He tells us that when Kingdom Hearts is obtained, we'll be given a real heart. But man, Kingdom Hearts isn't the easiest door to grab hold of, you know?" He crossed his arms behind his head then looked over at Roxas.

"So this 'Kingdom Hearts' is the place where we can actually be someone..." Roxas thought about it for a while. A heart...he could earn himself a real heart. Now he knew what the Organization was after. Now he had a purpose; a goal. Still, he kept in mind that obtaining one wouldn't be easy. From what Axel stated, Kingdom Hearts seemed to be a powerful door to take advantage of. "Ugh..." He groaned and strolled to the side of the street, dragging his dull boots against the pavement. "Give me a break!" When he reached the side of a building, he slammed his back against it and leaned lazily against its surface.

Axel lowered his arms to his sides and turned toward Roxas with an awkward expression on his face. Something about Roxas kept him interested every time he did something. His movements, his expressions, and his sudden change in attitude kept him curious about his new companion. "What's with this kid? He's...no! Gah, Axel, stop it now! Don't do it..." He began to fight with himself. Half of his body constantly told him to walk up to Roxas and...well, what was he supposed to do? The other side of him, however, lectured him to control himself and stay where he was until Roxas felt it was time to leave. "Leave...just leave, Roxas!" His first half was winning no matter what he yelled to himself. He was now fully turned toward Roxas in his perfectly straight posture, his bright teal eyes half way closed as they continued to stare at the young teen. Roxas didn't seem to realize that Axel was inching toward him for he seemed too wrapped up in his thoughts about hearts. "What am I doing? This is just like earlier! Damn it! Roxas!" Axel paused, nearly a foot away from Roxas, and stared down at him, trying to keep his breathing down to normal.

"Hmm? Axel?" Roxas looked up from the ground...his first mistake. He fell under the shadow of the teen as he became trapped into another one of those hypnotizing gazes. He opened his mouth to speak but when he tried, he choked on his words, unable to force them out. Both of Axel's arms trapped him against the wall again with both of his hands at each side of Roxas' head. Confused and anxious, Roxas stared back at Axel helplessly. He was becoming uncomfortable again...but was that a bad thing?

"Why are you doing this, Roxas?" Axel questioned in a gentle whisper. He lowered his head and nudged Roxas' neck sensitively. With Roxas the way he wanted, Axel placed a single kiss against Roxas' baby soft skin. Roxas' eyes widened when he felt Axel's tongue brush against him and he let out a light gasp, unable to say a thing. Something about it seemed wrong...but god did it feel right. He began scratching at the wall behind him eagerly when Axel began trailing even more of his kisses on him. His scent: like a burning fire. He felt himself becoming dizzied by that scent and he almost thought he would fall unconscious like before. If he did, he couldn't think of what Axel would do to him. "Uh...A-Axel...? Nhh...don't..." He stuttered in a useless tone of voice. Axel simply ignored him and thrust himself at Roxas, forcing Roxas' body harder into the building wall. "Axel..." Roxas drew in a sharp breath and finally found his voice. "STOP IT!" He yelled with his eyes tightly shut. To his surprise, Axel stopped.

Roxas breathed heavily and nearly felt like he would collapse to his knees. He felt Axel's body slowly pushing off from him and at last he wasn't being pushed into the wall. He glared up into Axel's narrowed eyes when they came into view again and kept silent.

"Alright," Axel said with a shrug. He brought his arms back to his sides and took a few steps away from the shaken boy.

Roxas raised an eyebrow and gaped at him. He nearly dug his nails into the wall he was leaning against. "Is that all he can say?"

The red head chuckled once and quickly wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He smirked at Roxas connivingly and swiftly turned his back on him. " I respect that about you, Roxas." He called over his shoulder.

Roxas kept quiet.

"I'll catch up with you later! You don't mind do you?" Several dark flames gathered around Axel's body and quickly swallowed him into darkness.

Roxas stared blankly at the very spot in the road where Axel had disappeared and slid his back down the wall, sitting weakly at the side of the road. Axel acted as if nothing had happened. He had just showed a form of heart to Roxas...but he didn't have a heart. So how could he...? Roxas buried his face in his knees and attempted to slow his breathing. He still felt those light kisses against the side of his neck and he knew they weren't about to leave him anytime soon. The way those eyes stared down at him...the way his lips felt against his skin...the way he spoke to him..."I...he...how could I want more from him?"