Chap IIII
Why is it so difficult to understand? Organization XIII is by far the most suspicious beings ever to exist in this universe. But they contain no being within them. So how is it that they are able to move, speak, and feel just like any normal human? They have no hearts...therefore, they are incomplete. It is not normal for a body to function that way. If they can be like humans, then why should they fantasize about owning a heart? Is it perhaps how they protect one another that keeps them strong? No hearts...only themselves. How is it that a Nobody can act and feel like a Somebody?
"Why are you beating yourself up, Axel?"
"That's none of your concern!"
"Where's your dear friend Roxas? Don't tell me you abandoned him..."
"No!"
"Then where is he?"
"That's none of your concern!"
Roxas groaned lightly and slowly began to lift his head. His neck felt stiff and his back ached from slouching for so long. He opened his eyes and rubbed the back of his head, trying to recall where he was and what had happened. Things were rushing at light speed for him. It seemed like only seconds ago that he was helplessly running through puddles and dark streets from mysterious 'Heartless' as Axel said they were called. Wait, Axel? He sat up with a jolt and turned his head, trying to remember where he had heard those voices; one being unfamiliar, one belonging to Axel. He found himself panting again, now realizing that he was alone. He must have fallen asleep yet he didn't know how long. Steadily he stood from the ground and his hand moved to the side of his neck. He ran his fingers against his skin for a short while, his memories of the past finally returning to him.
"He was...I couldn't have been...dreaming? It felt too real..." Solemnly, he stared at the ground and tried to forget. He was a Nobody. He wasn't supposed to feel anything. He wasn't supposed to exist. He wished he was gone...then he wouldn't have to be in an Organization...he wouldn't have to be along side a teen who would do things to him...he wouldn't have to feel the pain any longer. He felt a burning sensation rising in his empty chest. Furiously he clenched his right hand into a fist and punched the wall behind him, not caring about the sharp sting that was beginning to spread onto his hand. "WHY DO I HAVE TO BE HERE! WHY!" His angered screams resonated through the dark city, only making him feel like he was alone.
Absolute silence...
"GAH!"
"Axel?" Roxas questioned in a whisper, abruptly turning his head to where he heard the pained yell. He heard several explosion-like crashes in the distance. It only told him that something was wrong. "Axel!" He yelled into the seemingly deserted city. He pictured Axel's body in his head. His black cloak, his fiery head hair, that devilish smile, and those eyes that led him into euphoria. Engulfed in darkness, Roxas continued to picture that body in his mind...he wanted to hate him.
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The cold dark began to weaken when Roxas opened his eyes. He could catch sight of black fire burning to the ground and disappearing into a black empty space below his feet. He recognized the flames as the same ones he had been trapped in with Axel and when he appeared in his own seat with the other members of the Organization. Once the flames died, his vision was finally restored for him to examine his new surroundings.
"Ah, so it's you."
Roxas faced forward and met with another black cloaked man. He already assumed he was with the Organization as well. His eyes were narrow and thin almond shaped, giving him a sinful sort of aura. His hair fell just over his shoulders and was a light shade of blue, almost silver. Between his eyes was an unusual scar that Roxas recognized as an 'x'. Staring at the man's scar gave him the impression that he must have run into a brutal battle in the past. His voice, which Roxas now acknowledged as the first voice he had heard before, was monotonous with sin curved around every word.
"Who're you?" Roxas asked suspiciously, keeping his distance from the man.
"Saix." He replied, no expression appearing on his face. "You must be Roxas, correct?"
Roxas hesitated and nodded once.
"Well, it's nice to have you on the Order, Roxas...you're lucky number thirteen if I counted correctly." Saix said, his slim eyes slimming down even more.
"Uh...I guess. That's what Xemnas told me...hey, have you seen Axel anywhere?" Roxas' eyes flashed when he remembered that yell he heard. Saix scoffed.
"As if he is of any importance. Such a fool...what sort of miscreant would title him as your mentor?" He hissed in annoyance, his eyes glistening as he spoke.
"What?"
"You see? Even he has failed to tell you that he shall be your caretaker. So un-organized. Tell me, Roxas, how has your time with the Organization treated you thus far?"
Roxas raised an eyebrow and stared at Saix with confusion written on his face. Did he hate Axel? If so, why? He didn't think it was possible for members of this Organization to disapprove of the ones they worked with. After all, they shared the same sort of emptiness and longing...at least it appeared that way in Roxas' perspective. Either that or he was standing in a completely different angle than the rest of them. He felt so different than these Nobodies although he too contained no real being. What was he supposed to respond? That he hated it or that he rather enjoyed being in the dark? Either way, Roxas felt he would sound stupid replying that way.
"Where-is-Axel?" Roxas repeated slowly.
Saix shook his head and his eyes moved to a space behind Roxas. "If he concerns you that much..." He muttered.
"Huh?" Still lost, Roxas nervously glanced over his shoulder and his eyes widened when they met Axel's unconscious body. "Axel!" He turned, completely shoving Saix's existence to the back of his head, and raced to Axel's side. Axel was seated on the ground with his back leaning against a building wall with his head lowered and eyes shut. "Axel, Axel, come on..." Roxas whispered, shaking the teen eagerly with both hands on his shoulders. When he remained silent, Roxas tightly shut his eyes and felt that burning fire in his chest again. He tightened his grip on Axel's shoulders and cursed to himself in his head.
"Now, now, Roxas. There's no use in beating yourself up about him," Saix's voice stared in an amused type of tone. "You should be grateful that I arrived to set him straight. If I hadn't seen him punishing himself, then he might be long gone by now."
"You...what did you do?" Roxas hissed through clenched teeth.
"You see, I wield the moon element, Roxas. Every member of this Organization wields a specific element that they use as their battle tool. That idiot fool, as you might have observed already, controls the element of fire. You, well, you are still a mystery. I used my element to help calm Axel down. There are many things you do not yet know, Roxas. Especially about your so called 'teacher'."
"Stop it..." Roxas murmured threateningly.
"Axel is known of losing control of his anger. It's only expected from a Nobody that holds the power of fire. When that anger increases, fire becomes a dangerous threat. Its flames will continue to burn until something is there to kill them. Axel was cursing to himself about something I could not distinguish. His yelling, the temper in his voice, I knew he would cause much more trouble if I didn't stop him. And so, using my own power, I ended that anger...Roxas, don't think of it as hatred. Think of it as my way of showing a way of 'heart'."
"I said stop..." He growled.
"Think of it, Roxas. Those unknown shadows in your mind can be cleared. You can unlock those questions that you long to ask. We can discover that unknown power that you wield...evidently, I can be the only one to show you that power." Saix eyed Roxas through his eerie eyes and waited.
"You...YOU HAD NO RIGHT!" As if forced by an unknown being, Roxas jolted from the ground and clenched his hands into fists, standing protectively in front of Axel's still body.
"You refuse? Hmm, and here I was thinking you were a smart one."
"ROTTEN BASTARD!" Roxas' palms began burning just as the feeling in his body was. His mind was beginning to overpower him. This anger...this burning...hadn't he felt this once before? He tightened his grasp until he felt his hands go numb. He could feel a cold surface inching between his fingers which caused him to turn his attention to his hands. A bright light penetrated through the darkness and nearly blinded him. He could still feel that anger but at the same time, some strange new emotion was causing his fingers to tingle. He stared into the light, eager yet afraid. He had nearly forgotten Saix...he had nearly forgotten who he was just by staring directly into the light. He thought of Axel again...he knew he was hurting; he knew something was wrong. The longing to protect...
In his both his hands, Roxas held a strange form of weapon, each as long as his arm and both differed in appearance. The one he held in his left hand was beaming silver with a complex star blade at its front. At the end of its handle dangled a silver chain with a small, star shaped charm. The blade held in his right was pitch black and camouflaged into the eerie darkness. In the center of its handle was a dark blue diamond embedded near the black, crown formed charm. He eyed both weapons in awe and held both firmly in his hands, turning them over once, twice to further study them. When he returned to Saix, now coming back to reality, he now noticed that his new enemy was staring speechless for once. He knew he was afraid.
Clutching onto the two blades, Roxas bent down in attacking position and his burning sapphire eyes glared up at Saix. "I don't need your help." He ridiculed.
Saix, which Roxas' expected, took a step backward and for once appeared defeated. "You'll regret ever protecting him!"
"He's more of a mentor than you! He's more of a friend that any of you!" Roxas threatened.
Dead silent, Saix gaped at Roxas and finally seemed to give up. With his two snake-like eyes still glued to the blades Roxas wielded, Saix wrapped himself in darkness and became swallowed by the darkness. He was gone at last.
"You'd better keep away from us! You hear me!" He yelled into the dark of night. He turned and stared down at where the two blades were. He jumped back, now noticing that they were no longer in his grasp. He could have been...dreaming? Saix was afraid...he couldn't have been. He rubbed the back of his head and pondered the thought, now even more bewildered than before. "So bizarre..." He whispered to himself.
"Roxas?"
Roxas nearly jumped when he heard Axel's voice. He turned quickly and stared down at him, watching as he held his head in pain. "Axel..." He said softly, staying where he was.
Axel opened his eyes and looked up from the ground, looking bewildered himself. "You...were protecting me." He said in a state of shock.
Roxas kept quiet. The fire in him was slowly beginning to die.
"But...why?" He let out a weak chuckle and pushed off from the ground, now standing tall over Roxas. "Why would...ah, forget it. Thanks, for that." He brought his hand down and looked at Roxas who had already turned hi head in a separate direction. Axel blinked questionably and watched as the blonde turned to walk away. "Hey, Roxas..."
Roxas stopped where he was and lowered his head to stare at the ground. He still remembered what had happened earlier and knew Axel remembered it too. Like he told himself, he wanted to hate him...what was preventing him from doing so? He had worried himself about Axel's safety...he had thought about him the moment he awoke from the cold ground. He neck tingled uncomfortably but he tried not to show it.
"Roxas..." Axel paused and took a step forward. "About...about earlier...I didn't mean to...I mean, it wasn't..." He helplessly stared at Roxas back and let out a long sigh before starting again. "I'm sorry. I never meant for that to happen. It's just, you really amazed me the second you and I met in that dark alleyway. I had to...know more about you. I just, didn't think clearly...maybe I wasn't thinking at all...so, I'm sorry." He continued to gaze at Roxas, hoping he would speak to him again, but when the two were in silence, he sighed again and shut his eyes. "I'm so stupid..."
Roxas heard that whisper and slowly turned his body around until he was facing Axel. His eyes felt restless and he could see tears beginning to cloud them. He tried blinking them back and began walking toward Axel at a slow pace to which Axel opened his eyes and stared willingly at him. Roxas stopped when he was nearly touching Axel and hid his face from him. He could feel those tears coming...he had never felt anything like it before. He didn't want to do it...he didn't want to show his way of heart but it won him over. With a frustrated yell, Roxas thrust himself at Axel's chest and buried his face in his warm body. Tears streaming down his face, he began to fall to his knees, Axel following him down.
"Roxas..." Axel whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around the crying boy. "Come on, Roxas..."
Roxas took in every word and continued to cry, his tears feeling so amazing against his face. He had never cried before so he made the best of it. As to why he was crying...he had too many reasons. As long as he wasn't alone...as long as he was with Axel...it was alright to cry. He grabbed on tightly to Axel's cloak and felt Axel's own hold tighten and bring him close.
"Roxas." Axel said softly when the two were kneeling on the ground, wrapped in a forbidden embrace. He brought his hand to Roxas' spiky blonde hair and stroked it gently, assuring him that he was there. He loved the feeling of Roxas crying into him...it almost felt...like the beating of heart. He continued whispering Roxas' name for the longest time while Roxas cried. At the time when the crying ceased, Axel stared down at the boy and turned his head, gazing at the innocent face he adored so much. Those light eyelashes were now wet with tears and his cheeks: a light pink. He held him tightly and felt him breathe as he slept. Number eight, number thirteen...he liked the sound of that.