Chap X

Does the truth hurt as much as it's said to? Is lying the best to do instead? Either way, pain is the destination. Sometimes it is a question of if the heart can withstand the words of truth and lies. Without a heart, these would, as assumed, take no effect what so ever to the body and mind. Or, do they? If the truth can affect someone, then it must be possible for it to affect a no one that acts and thinks like someone.

It was dark by the time Roxas' small void had fallen. Earlier, he had thought of his own room as a safe getaway but his thoughts of Axel twisted his mind completely. Due to the darkness, he didn't know where he had brought his injured companion and only hoped they were safe for the moment. Why did the darkness have to hold so many secrets within its body? Why couldn't there be even the slightest bit of light for him to see through those secrets and move freely in the shadows? He prayed for the darkness to leave...he prayed for it to allow him to view his mentor below him...he prayed for it to not take Axel away from him.

After feeling around the surface of what felt like a hard metal, Roxas' finger tips finally brushed against a body and he gasped, inching closer with anxiousness.

"Axel?" He whispered softly, carefully wrapping a single hand around what felt like Axel's hand.

When there was no response, he grew desperate. Nearly loosing himself to his mind, Roxas shot forward and lay helplessly across Axel's un-moving body. "What did he do to you? What did he...?" He paused and thought hard. He could feel him breathing from underneath his stomach and he gave a relieved gasp.

"Come on...you're ok! Come on..." he continued to persuade the teen to awaken, gently nudging his shoulder, hoping the movement would bring him to consciousness. His eyes were steadily growing comfortable with the darkness and he was beginning to catch the slightest details of Axel's profile. It wasn't until he was able to see a dark crimson approaching him did he back away at the unknown figure.

"W-what?" Hesitantly, he reached forward and slid one finger through the thick red puddle. It felt warm...had he seen this substance once before? "B-Blood?" He whispered and instantly wiped the blood off on the ground. Nervously, he turned toward where he thought Axel had been and shuddered at the thought of the blood escaping from his body. But, that didn't seem correct. Nobodies had no hearts and therefore, could have to blood flowing through their veins...that was, unless they were able to obtain a heart in some way. He blinked and pondered the thought. Axel...had a heart? But by the time he looked up again, the eerie sight of crimson had disappeared. So bizarre...

"Roxas."

Roxas' eyes widened and as quick as the snap of one's fingers he was beside Axel again, already asking frantically if he was ok. "Axel! You're ok! Are you ok? What happened? What did that guy do to you? Oh, man, are you...?"

He paused after he heard the soft sound of clothing shift before him and his body froze, not sure of what he was happening.

"Roxas...you're..."

"Yeah? I'm what? What!" He demanded reaching forward until his hands stopped against Axel's chest in the darkness. "You're...what are you sitting up for? You're hurt, aren't you?"

He was relieved to hear Axel's same laugh but only this time it sounded as if it was nearly killing him to do so. "It's just a little injury. After all," he drew in a pained, sharp breath and stared again, "we don't shed blood. That's not how we Nobodies die."

"Who...was that guy?" Roxas asked. "That guy that brought you to me..."

Axel rubbed the back of his head and crossed his legs while he tried to hide the extreme pain in his chest. "A member of the Organization...Mar," he cringed and it took him a bit longer to repeat himself, "Marluxia..."

"He wanted to see Xemnas."

"I know..."

"You do?"

"'Course I do. That's why I left you. Xemnas must have heard from someone that Marluxia was plotting against him and gave me the job to eliminate him."

Roxas raised an eyebrow and crossed his own legs, caught in the conversation. "But, why? Why would Marluxia want to do that?"

Axel scoffed. "He was fixated on overthrowing Organization XIII and wanted to claim it as his own. The member that arrived before you, Larxene, she partnered up with him and they both started creating plans to destroy Xemnas."

"So, what happened to Larxene?"

"She was destroyed."

"By you?" Roxas asked, surprised.

"No. By a boy in a place called Castle Oblivion. She attempted to battle against him but he was too much for her. In the end, she left Marluxia to go about killing Xemnas on his own."

"So you battled Marluxia..." Roxas began slowly, worried about what he was about to hear.

Axel nodded and lowered his head. "Marluxia and I started battle after I told him that he was betraying the Order. After that, well, he ultimately got pissed. Probably 'cause I knew about it. So, we went off battling head-to-head until I was caught off guard."

"You? Caught off guard? That's a first..." Roxas joked to which Axel punched weakly at him.

"The thing was, Xemnas had planned for us to battle from the start...he knew that Marluxia would beat me down..."

"W-What?" Roxas gaped up at him, his eyes beaming.

"Marluxia told me that Xemnas wanted for him to knock me out so he could test your strength. Apparently, Xemnas thought that if you saw me hurt, you would be more than willing to fight Marluxia. He used you as an experiment for the Order..."

"Excuse me?" Roxas fumed.

"That's what Xemnas does...he uses all of us. He wasn't sure of your power so he thought that if you wanted to do nothing but protect, those weapons you wielded before would show up. When they would, Xemnas said he was going to study yours and Marluxia fight."

"I hate him...I hate everyone in this Organization..." Roxas muttered, staring at the dark ground with hatred flashing in his sapphire pupils.

"Oh...ouch," Axel stated, staring down at the blonde who suddenly shot up to face him.

"I didn't mean you! I was just exaggerating was all..." Embarrassed, Roxas lowered his head until he was simply staring forward, away from Axel's face.

"Uhm...Roxas?"

He blinked. "Huh?"

"I...would you...uh..." Axel stumbled over his words and rubbed his arm absently.

"What?"

"I just...had a thought...would you...aw, man."

"You're doing it again..." Roxas implied, slapping Axel upside the head with his hand.

"Hey! Alright, fine! I was just going to ask if you would let me..." He stopped himself and shook his head vigorously. "Ugh, why does it have to be so dark in here?"

"I don't know where we are really..."

There was a silent pause until Roxas heard Axel snap his fingers. The second he had, the room suddenly illuminated, revealing to his eyes the area he had transported them to. No, it wasn't his room nor was it the streets or Axel's room. In fact, he didn't know of this place...

All around him were transparent floating symbols that were identical to the grey symbol painted at the bottom of the gathering room. The floor and walls appeared as if they were non-existent, ominously carrying shades of light blue and purple in its watery-like surface. There were neither signs of an exit nor a sign of an entrance for that matter. He feared he had brought them into some sort of prison.

"Betwixt and Between..." Axel said calmly, attempting to stand by himself though he was clearly failing.

"H-Hey!" Roxas quickly got to his feet and grabbed Axel's arm before he could fall. He seemed fine despite what he expected to see from his battle with Marluxia. He expected cuts, tears, bruises. But no. To his relief, he appeared un-harmed. Still, something was attacking him from inside his body. "Don't be stupid."

"I'm not stupid, Roxas. Just stubborn..." Axel replied and finally stood, taking hold of Roxas' shoulder when he nearly lost balance.

"You said this place was...?"

"Betwixt and Between. It's like a portal that enables Nobodies to travel from one world to another if they refuse transporting. You can always open it up yourself once you obtain the right power to do it."

"But, why'd we end up here? I was thinking about my room to escape to; not a place I haven't even heard about."

Axel stared at the ceiling then back to Roxas, his eyes softening again. "A place to escape to...a place of temporary solitude...those mixed thoughts you had about where to go and of me brought us here."

"Roxas kept silent while staring back at him. No exit, no entrance...no one but them...alone. He was sure no one would come here...

"It only happens a few times. If you're thoughts a obscured while transporting, sometimes you tend to end up somewhere even better than where you wanted to be. It's kinda...weird."

"Yeah..." Roxas shifted uneasily when he noticed Axel had turned to face him. Now he was recalling the time when he had forced him against a wall for the first time. His neck tingled and that scene quickly flashed by his mind. He kept still and hoped he hadn't been beside a wall. He didn't want to have to suffer the sharp pain at the back of his head again. "Just us...maybe we should..."

"Roxas," Axel interrupted, "I was going to ask...if you'd let me...kiss you." He barely whispered the last bit of his sentence.

"Why are you asking?" Roxas asked a bit nervously.

"I...I don't know. It's just that, you've been through a lot today and I didn't think that..."

"O-Ok."

Axel froze and stared at Roxas blankly. "Huh?"

"Ok. I...I said O-K. But just once...we really shouldn't be here..." Roxas replied quietly.

"Just once...ok. Ah, hell..." Axel felt himself hesitating. He hated it when he fought with himself because most of the time, his body ended up winning. But Roxas was just...there. He was O-K with it. Roxas wasn't like the others...he wasn't even like a Nobody, really. It was only when he acted depressed did he truly pose as a heartless being. He was so vulnerable for anything. He was the youngest in the Order yet his attitude and mind seemed driven to act as mature as possible. No one kept him so interested...so obsessed...so...trapped.

He stared down at Roxas' blank face, not even remembering walking toward him at all. There. His body had won again. "Feels sort of strange...doesn't it?" He asked suddenly.

Roxas narrowed his eyes and eyed him questionably. "Huh?"

"That I force you to do these kinds of things..."

Roxas smiled lightly and shook his head. "No."

Without anything else left to say, all there was to do was, well, go for it. Just once...he had to remember that. Just one little kiss and they'd be off. So why was it that Axel was taking it further?

Roxas shut his eyes completely and slipped his tongue slowly into Axel's mouth, allowing each other to tie together. He drew back and stared up at him, slightly feeling disappointed. Just one...that was it. But by that time, both had forgotten in that one small minute of a kiss. Roxas moved back and kept his eyes shut again. They were going steadily but that only increased Roxas' desire to create that fiery atmosphere again. Two, three, four, a fifth time...just once wasn't enough. Roxas' lips trailed over to Axel's jaw where he began dragging his tongue across his soft skin. Axel literally felt his pain leave him and he would have to make best of the time it no longer resided in his body.

"Gosh, Roxas..." He hissed into the younger teen's ear almost uncontrollably, tilting his head to allow Roxas more room to move.

Roxas pulled away and the second he did, Axel forced himself on him, with his lips already laying painfully pleasurable kisses along Roxas' neck. Roxas felt Axel's hand at his back when his body was being pushed backward. He gave in cooperatively and lay lazily on the water-like floor with Axel sprawled atop him. Again he could feel each other's bodies heat up from being like this. He let a shuddered breath escape his parted lips and slowly after, he was silenced by another moment they were locked together. His world turned, his mind blurred...everything was fading away...

"This time...we'll do it..." Axel whispered seductively, lowering Roxas' cloak zipper just a bit.

"I...nnh..." Before he could reply, Axel's hands were already touching around his concealed stomach and he could barely even speak. "I...we...ah!" He gasped when he felt Axel's hand slip under his black undershirt and beginning touching his hot skin.

"It's now or never, Roxas..."

Roxas struggled to keep quiet and simply allowed Axel to touch him in ways he loved so much. In places he loved to be touched. He was amazing...he lay there now, his cloak stripped away from him while his black shirt was already halfway pulled off. He felt Axel's tongue meet on his stomach as his t-shirt was slowly being lifted to allow Axel more room. Killing him slowly...

Roxas shot for Axel's waist where his zipper dangled and weakly attempted to pull it down while his pleasure raised. When his teacher pulled away, Axel sat up for a moment to throw this cloak to the side before resuming. The blonde slipped his hand up the back of Axel's shirt and he began to touch him

"Ah, damn..." Axel pulled away from Roxas' stomach and his mind went crazy as Roxas sat up with him and began touching his chest, licking his neck, stroking his hair. He mimicked him and ran his fingers through Roxas' feathery hair. He had grown a fetish with Roxas' hair. He always wanted to feel it touch his body...he always wanted Roxas. Roxas sent his head backward and rolled his eyes. Axel's hands were already stripping him of his pants while at the same time he whispered nonsense to him.

"We'll finally be connected, Roxas..."

He groaned at the sound of his sinful voice controlling his mentality.

"It'll be amazing...you'll see...we'll be part of each other I can't help myself, Roxas...Rrrroxasss..."

Roxas stared down as Axel parted his legs one he had rid of his pants. In nothing but his boxers, Roxas kept his legs apart as Axel moved toward him. They were so close...closer...closer...he forced his lips against his best friend's and licked his lower lip. Axel's hands gently caressed the inside of Roxas' separated legs and they both fell again, Roxas below, Axel on top with both hands at each side of Roxas' head.

"It's so..."

"Amazing...I know." Axel interrupted, panting heavily over Roxas' limp body. They turned, they twisted, over and over Roxas touched him, Axel touched him. What started out as a kiss transformed into something so animal-like.

"You were always mine from the start..." Axel shot forward, hearing Roxas scream his name from below him as he came again.

"AH!" Roxas winced and clawed at the floor, his entire body screaming for more. He was losing himself, they both were losing each other. Indescribable sensations flowed through the two, wrapping them within a single moment where they were transported to an alternate reality. Was this even reality?

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"You really scared me back there..." Roxas said serenely, laying his head comfortably on Axel's chest.

"We were both scared, I guess," The red head replied, protectively wrapping an arm around Roxas' naked self.

"I guess..." Roxas' voice trailed off and he stared off, thinking to himself. That's right, he was scared and confused. Ever since he became part of the Organization, these two emotions were slowly clawing at him from the inside. He wished those feelings of laughing and hugging and kissing would always remain with him. He adored the feeling of warmth against his skin and the feeling of warmth inside his body. But did he always have to turn to Axel to feel it? His eyes lowered and as he pondered the thought. Sora probably could feel it all the time...why couldn't he?

"What's on your mind?" Axel asked, pulling both his and Roxas' black cloaks over both of their bodies.

Roxas hesitated to say anything and remained still. Axel's body sounded so empty while he had his ear pressed against his chest. Something was missing from him...from all Nobodies. They were supposedly a brotherhood of some sort and claimed that they would obtain hearts together. But, judging by the betrayal of Marluxia, the fights and wounds from Saix, Xemnas, and Xigbar, things didn't feel like a brotherhood at all. Roxas was confused. He had told himself that this was where he belonged...but, was he only lying?

"A-Axel?" He managed to say weakly.

"Hmm?"

"I...I want to...I have to tell you something..."

"What?" He asked, holding Roxas closer to him.

"I...don't think this is where I really belong..."

"What?" Axel said in slight shock. "What're you talking about?"

"I've been feeling so lost ever since I came here...so, maybe this place isn't where I should be."

"So, you're just thinking out loud, right?" Axel asked confidently. But when Roxas shook his head gloomily, his eyes lowered and he felt his pain returning again.

"Xemnas told me about a guy named Sora...he's my other half."

"Why would Xemnas tell you?"

"I don't really know. But, I've been thinking that this isn't what I want to feel. If I want to feel a heart, my only resort is to go to you..."

"Is that I bad thing?" Axel asked, sounding so hurt.

"Well...no. But, there has to be another way...I want to find out how. This Organization...these members...it doesn't make any sense."

"What're you saying?"

Roxas hesitated and shifted under their covering. His whole body tingled while he searched for something to say without hurting Axel. He already knew Axel was hurting from the damage taken from Marluxia. It didn't make sense to take that pain further...but it didn't make sense to keep his thoughts bottled inside.

"I'm thinking...I'm thinking of leaving the Organization..."