Chapter Eight

He was near. Kagome could feel the half-demon's gentle breathing as she slowly returned to consciousness. Blinking, she tried to focus, but came to realize that she lying in the dark, her head propped up on her backpack. The memory of the battle returned to her slowly, in chunks as she stared up for a time up to the nothingness that surrounded her. InuYasha had covered her with her sleeping bag for warmth. She smiled at the thought, thinking how sensitive her friend could be when he set his mind to it. Of course, most of the time he'd never consider to admit that he cared, but he often revealed as much in his attitude toward her.

Slowly, she pushed herself to a sitting position. InuYasha turned about to peer at her as she did. Everything ached, and she figured that she'd be covered in bruises from head to toe, but considering the nasty tumble she'd taken, she was lucky to be alive. To be with him. The tiger demon had done a good number on them both, she decided.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. She was surprised to hear how close he sounded, as though he were sitting right next to her.

Kagome didn't say anything right away; she drew her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She peered about the darkness again. She couldn't see him, though she knew he could see her. It wasn't exactly a fair way to start an argument. She wasn't going to allow him to suck her into one. She started to fiddle through her backpack. "Where are we?"

"Safe," he replied, turning his back to her once more. "That was quite a fall you took back there, Kagome. You had me scared to death."

She smiled wearily as her fingers wrapped around what she sought. "Yeah, me too."

Light consumed the area as she flicked on her flashlight and set it between them. InuYasha squinted as he turned to face her again. She knew he was angry, and was pretty sure she knew exactly why. She wondered how long he'd brooded while she slept, how long it had been since the fall she'd taken. By the way InuYasha watched her, she didn't dare ask.

"Damn it, Kagome, why didn't you get out of the way like I told you to?"

She had to smile at that."InuYasha, I promised you a long time ago, I will always be by your side, no matter what. We're in this together. We have been ever since that day I freed you from the Sacred Tree." The girl from the future gazed to him with a small, content smile, lips pressed together as she considered him. InuYasha's cheeks flushed and he turned from her, grumbling to himself. The sight made her cheeks glow as well, so she turned her gaze away from him. Something crossed her mind, and she looked up again. "InuYasha?"

"Hmm?" He didn't look her way.

"Thank you," she whispered, watching him. "Thanks for saving me today."

InuYasha grumbled. "We did that part already."

"Oh." She smiled, though she didn't remember the exchange. "Well, thanks again."

And then she saw something she didn't expect. The half-demon drew a slow breath and fixed her with a meaningful gaze. He nodded then, a smile touching his lips. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen a genuine, friendly smile on Inuyasha's handsome face. There were often smirks, mostly devious ones when he was locked in battle, but this was a side of him he rarely displayed. He reached out slowly, taking her hand. Her cheeks flared as she watched his claws hold her hands gingerly, as if she were glass and he might somehow break her.

"Kagome, I care about you. I don't want to see you hurt, okay? If I tell you something is too dangerous, or to run away, please, don't hesitate."

She stared. "InuYasha, what's got into you?"

"What do you mean?"

A giggle sprang free, uninvited. "You're being nice."

"I can be nice," he grunted, quickly pulling his hand free of her. Kagome scooted closer to him, shifting onto her knees. He didn't try to back away. They sat there together for a time. His ears burning, the half-demon looked away. Finally, he could stand the silence no longer. "I really do care about you, that's all. I don't want to see you hurt."

"I'll try to be more careful," she said quietly, and this time, she took his hand.

He let her. Kagome wondered exactly what had gotten into him. She rewarded him with a bright, cheerful smile. They were getting some much needed rest. She didn't sense a jewel shard anywhere in the immediate area, other than her own, meaning the big tiger demon was off recuperating. They were alone. Something nagged at her though, something she couldn't quite put a finger on. Something she was supposed to remember. Nothing came to mind. That she clung to the hand of her dearest friend in the feudal era, of either era, for that matter, was enough to put her thoughts at ease.

He seemed as content as she felt.

"InuYasha," she whispered, and lay her head on his shoulder. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Her heart fluttered, and she liked it.

"Where is he now?"

Kanna turned her mirror to Naraku, revealing Auron's path through the Hollow Wood. He was making a beeline for the cave. A smile came over the freshly transformed demon. This was going well. Not according to plan, but perhaps that didn't matter. The tiger's battle with InuYasha had been a success, despite its bizarre, unpredictable circumstances.

Kagura observed her master with a raised brow. "So, what next?"

"I am finished with the tiger. He has served his purpose."

"But InuYasha lives," the wind sorceress grumbled. "If he's served his purpose… "

"This has worked out even better than I'd anticipated," Naraku replied. The faceless mass of pink, oozing flesh continued to fester and grow even as the thing spoke. "InuYasha will follow the jewel shard. His party has been split."

"And what of Auron?"

A dark chuckle reverberated throughout the who the massive cave. Both of Naraku's reincarnations could only sit in the darkness and listen.

"He will be Sakura's first test."

Kagome watched him carefully, patiently. Her heart pounded in her ears. If InuYasha sensed it, he didn't show it. He looked so peaceful, so whole, here with her, as if waiting for her to gather the strength to return with him to their challenge. She already felt the strength within herself, growing steadily with each, slow breath, though she wasn't sure exactly how she wanted to express the courage she felt.

She'd been on the verge of death, and he had been there, as always. Next time she fell, he would be there. She felt it in her bones. It was impossible to see him anywhere else but here, right beside her. She smiled at the thought, hand clasped affectionately to his shoulder. His own clawed fingers lay across her knuckles. Oh, InuYasha, you mean so much to me. She lay her cheek there, in the nook between her thumb and forefinger.

His amber eyes gazed solemnly forward, staring off into nothingness, deep in thought.

A prickle of apprehension seeped into Kagome's brain. InuYasha had saved her life. He had come for her when she stood at death's doorstep, in the path of a bloodthirsty tiger demon, furious with her for interfering in a battle to the death.

Kagome had saved InuYasha's life too.

Was that why he was being so nice to her?

"InuYasha?"

He peered at her with one golden eye. "Yeah?"

"I… "

When she hesitated, the half-demon turned fully toward her, breaking contact with her. Kagome wet her lips and stared quietly. "Well, spit it out, would ya?"

"InuYasha… " She paused in her thought, offering a smile with her lips pressed together. InuYasha blinked, waiting. She was still on her knees, staring back at him. The half-demon cocked a brow, growing impatient. She could see it on his face. A soft, content sigh escaped her lips as she leaned forward, the palms of her hands in the soft earth. "I… "

The half-demon gave her a look and bent back a little. Kagome came so that her face was right next to his. She watched him. He watched back. They waited.

Her smile evaporated into a look of longing. She realized then how much she had missed in all the time she had been with him, forever walking at his side with no more than his friendship, his confidence. There was so much he could offer her, so much that he had already given to her. They had shared an amazing journey together, and yet they had never taken this step.

That wasn't true, Kagome realized as she drew a slow breath. She remembered that she had taken this step once before, when InuYasha had been left with a terrible choice by the evil Kaguya. Half-breed or full-fledged demon. With Kagome's help, InuYasha had chosen to remain as he was. For the time being. He hadn't wanted to become a full demon like that, anyway.

Kagome continued to watch him, wondering at all the choices she had made along the way. They'd been together for so long. InuYasha never told her how he felt. Maybe she would just have to coax it out of him. She nibbled on the edge of her lower lip and considered the consequences. Nothing could be as bad as the silence, she decided, and finally made a choice of her own.

To hell with it.

She leaned forward, throwing caution to the wind, and pressed her lips to his cheek. InuYasha tried to turn away, but she grabbed his shoulders and inched closer.

"Kagome… "

She silenced her half-demon friend with a deep, slow kiss. Whatever he had to say didn't matter. It was enough that they were together.

The passion of it exploded through her, warming her soul. His eyes widened. Her fingers rolled slowly over his collarbone, through his kimono, parting the fabric until her palm rested on the hot flesh over his heart. She could feel his heart thundering against his chest. It felt so good. It surprised her how right it felt to touch his bare skin in such a manner. For the first time since she had met him that fateful day, the thought of being with him—of being intimate with him—didn't embarrass her.

At first, he started to kiss her back, but something betray him. He lay a hand to her shoulder and eased her back. He was on his feet in an instant, gasping for breath.

"InuYasha, I love you," she said gently, starting his way. Her hand pressed to his heart again. She tried to lean into him, to embrace him. Her voice was low, no more than a breathy whisper. She longed to hold him, to cling to him, to show him the love she felt for him. "I want to know you through and through. I'm not afraid. Are you?"

He swiped out at her, batting her hands away. The interference stirred a well of emotions deep inside her. Kagome wished he would say something. It hurt that he was staring at her like that. She swallowed hard, and stared back. Tears threatened, but she held her composure as she lowered her head. He'd rejected her. But why? Kagome tried to speak, but her tongue was thick in her mouth. Nothing came to her, so she simply stared at her toes.

"I love you… "

He didn't speak. When she glanced up, she found that somehow, he didn't look angry. His cheeks were burning in the dim glow of her flashlight. He watched her with golden eyes for a long time, and she was pretty sure his heart was pounding every bit as hard as her own. His lean shoulders lifted in a slow breath as he wondered at her, and then slipped off into the thick blanket of shadows.

Kagome stared, wondering what had gone wrong. InuYasha had always been shy around her when things became emotional. Sometimes it was a challenge to get him to speak with anything but his anger. But this time, she had been so sure. This time, she belonged to him. But InuYasha had other things on his mind.

And then it struck her: Kikyo. Paralyzing dread surged through the young woman. It wasn't what she was doing, but the consequences she'd laid squarely on his shoulders. No wonder he'd run away; when she kissed him, she'd forced him to betray Kikyo.

Kagome covered her face with both hands as she fought the stinging tears that threatened to consume her. Oh, InuYasha… What have I done?

With nightfall fast approaching, the silence of the Hollow Wood seemed a fitting companion as he settled into a sturdy limb of the highest tree he could find. His heart was still pounding as he fretted over the bizarre moment he had shared with Kagome, and then promptly fled. He'd simply wanted to be near her, to protect her, while he sat next to her in that quiet, protective grove. They had been alone there, and he had been at peace knowing she was safe. But it was not to be.

Tragic tales unfolded in his heart as the moment played over and over again in his mind. One clawed finger, just another of the many attributes that made it impossible for him to be close to anyone in his meager existence, graced his delicate, quivering lips, where that one tender soul had finally breathed new life into his tarnished heart. It was something he desperately needed, something he had longed for since he was just a boy, when his mother died. He'd been lonely so long he hadn't realized how such a love could bring such joy to him.

Kagome's kiss had sent these feelings reeling to the forefront of his thoughts. It was a new life he wasn't aware he needed, and he was damn sure he didn't want it. This wasn't the way for him; this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He was a half-demon. Solitude and bravado were his shields against a world that hated him, and she had brought that impenetrable barrier down upon him with strength that he'd never known she possessed.

But this life, the one she had brought to him, wasn't meant to be.

Kikyo lay her life down because of me, he thought, his clawed fingers still clasped over his mouth. To this day she strives to take me with her to the pits of hell. But I don't wanna die. I want to be with her, but death? It's too early for that. I have so much yet to live for. The missing jewel shards. Naraku. I have to protect…

InuYasha's heart shattered in his chest, but outwardly he didn't so much as flinch. He just sat there, broken. Conflicting emotions raged through every fiber of his being.

I have to protect Kagome.

He lowered his gaze, watching nothing, sorrow shimmering in his moist, golden eyes. He wasn't ready to break his promise to Kikyo, that he was the only one who could protect her. But how could he protect them both? His heart ached for them, both at the same time. But that was all the more reason for him to be forced to choose.

And InuYasha had made that decision a long time ago.

He growled softly in the night, shifting his gaze to the stars glistening against the blackness of the heavens. "Damn that stupid girl, playing with my heart like this. And all for a stupid kiss."

Kagome struggled to understand the pain lingering inside her. Sweat poured mercilessly down her face and stung her eyes, making it difficult to find her way through the dim forest twilight. She hadn't been able to breathe properly for some time now, and each heartbeat slammed through her like a tumultuous explosion, as if preparing to rip through her chest entirely.

It would have been easier had he spoken to her, even yelled at her. That she could have handled. InuYasha had a way of making her realize that everything was all right simply by voicing his displeasure at every little detail of the day. If the ramen was too cold, or undercooked, he would be the first to tell her. If her insistent nagging was too annoying he would have been on the verge of a complete meltdown. If life in general was one uncomfortable burden after the other, then by damn he would be sure to remind her.

It was the silence that troubled her. At least had he yelled, she would know he would eventually let up, forgive her. When he yelled, it was just his way of blowing off steam. This time, he had simply vanished, without so much as a word, and the pain of it felt as though he had slammed his clawed fist into her chest and tore her heart out. All of this had happened because she had laid her heart out before him in a moment she was sure belonged to them alone.

She still tasted him on her lips, still felt the touch as she pressed her lips unexpectedly to his. In the heat of the moment, it had seemed the right thing to do. Now, upon reflection, she regretted her decision. The way he had looked at her following the moment of passion was a clear indicator of his thoughts in the aftermath of the whole ordeal.

We've been together so long, Kagome thought as she moved deeper into parts of the forest she didn't recognize. It still hurts to look at him and remember his heart belongs to a dead girl. She'd drag him to hell with her, but she really doesn't have to because he'd jump right in after her.

She trudged slowly along the heavily wooded path until she found him, sitting high in a tree overlooking the Hollow Wood. From here, though he was merely a silhouette against the gentle glow of crescent moon, she could see he was deep in thought, staring out over the horizon as if the answers to all his questions awaited him at the edge of the world.

She remembered a realization of a prior experience, in the time following the moment she had discovered him clutching Kikyo in the depths of the InuYasha Forest: For InuYasha's sake, Kikyo even abandoned her life. I can't compete with that at all. After the personal turmoil of that day, Kagome had nearly left her friends of the feudal era behind, only to decide that even if she couldn't have InuYasha' heart, she could still be at his side to help him on whatever road he chose.

Now, she felt as though she had betrayed him. She had turned him inward on himself and he was struggling with the emotions that raged inside. She closed her eyes before returning her gaze back toward the one who held her heart within the tender grasp of his fingers, knowing painfully well that he could never return her love. In a terrible moment that she was bound to regret for the rest of her miserable life, she had forgotten. That kiss, she knew, could even be the end of their friendship.

"Forgive me, InuYasha," she said, though it came out as no more than a ragged whisper. She stood there in the silence for a long while, but if InuYasha detected her presence, or even cared, she never knew.