Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own ALIAS..don't sue me...this is all from my head based on my love for the show. This goes the same for Jason Bourne from the Bourne series by Robert Ludlum and which ever production company that has rights over it, they are not mine.

He walked quietly and swiftly into the warehouse to meet his contact, someone he had not seen for three years, but had constant conversation with since then. No matter how much work they have done together, he still does not trust that person.

He saw her sitting on one of the crates left in the middle of the room, obviously waiting for him, patiently; she was never one to show impatience, she was very patient, which makes her a very good spy.

"Hello Jack."

"Irina."

She smiled her small but mysterious smile that always throw him out of the loop trying to read what she was thinking, what she was planning to do next. Sydney was right, when it comes to Irina Derevko, he was not the best spy to put against her, he would crumble in an hour.

"Why did you call me?"

Jack sighed, not really wanting to call her, but Sydney had not talked to him for weeks and he have no idea how to reach out to his daughter, so fighting down his pride, he called Irina. She was his daughter's mother after all. "Sydney would not budge, she would not let me explain."

Irina nods, "About Danny and the CIA surveillance in her life."

He shook his head no, "About Jason."

For the first time since he had met her, he had never seen her so caught unguarded as what he was seeing now, but like one great spy that she is, in a blink of an eye, the emotionless face of his wife stared back at him.

"She remembers him?"

"I don't know, I have not spoken to her about her brother yet, so I have no idea if she is getting some early childhood memories back." He said harshly.

Understanding the harshness of his words are more towards her than about the situation with Sydney, "You blame me about Jason." It was a stating a fact of her life.

"I blame you for a lot of things," Jack retorted looking at her directly, "but I blame myself more for loosing my son."

Irina was surprised, it was one thing for Jack to be a father by saving Sydney, but it was another to express in words his emotions about his children.

His next words put another nail to the coffin for the marriage she have or had with Jack Bristow, "If I was not a fool to not realize early on that my wife was using me to get secrets for the KGB, then my son would still be with his sister, where he should be."

His words hang in the air between them as they stared into each other's eyes, daring the other to look away. For once, she did. "What do you want me to do?"

The harshness in his voice never left, "I need you to be honest, were you telling the truth about what happened to Jason?"

Irina tucked a heavy strand of hair onto the back of her right ear, something that Sydney has done in habit, "I tried to help him breathe, until we get onto land, but he was too young, When we got on land, his lips were blue, I could not bring him back," in a very emotionless voice that Jack was used to.

Jack nodded, "I hope for once in your life you are telling me the truth." With that he turned to walk out of the warehouse.

"Jack," he stopped walking, but did not turn.

"No matter what I did in the past, now or what I will do in the future, please remember that I am still our children's mother."

Without turning and looking at her, Jack replied with the same harsh voice he always used, "The problem was not you not being a mother, but it was you being a mother last and a spy first."

Jason Bourne was sure he was subjected to grueling debriefs in his past, but he hoped it was not like the one he had just experienced. As he made his way towards the car that the CIA provided him, he thought back to the things the psychologists were asking him as the senior officers including Dixon looked on.

Have you been to the house before? I do not know.

Have you met Gerodi Cirocco during the time Lyndon ask you to do things for the Covenant? I do not remember.

Have you been to that room before? If I do not know if I have been in the house before, then I do not know.

Are you related to Gerodi Cirocco? I do not remember.

Have you seen Gerodi Cirocco before? I do not remember.

Then it starts all over again, in different languages, different words, all pointing to one thing, how did he know about the failsafe?

He still does not know.

He got into the car, eager to get away from the premises of the building, in case they come after him for more questions. As if they had not asked everything they could think of. He thought.

Instead of heading towards Weiss' apartment building, where he was staying until he gets his own place, he found himself automatically driving himself towards a secluded beach he had discovered a two days before.

After parking the car and crossing the sand, to the place that reminded him most of the home he had known for three years. It was here that he could think about Marie in peace. Everything had happened so fast, he did not even get to say his goodbye to her as he wanted to. The CIA had given him the option to bring Marie to LA with him, but he opted to bury her in the place they had re-built their lives together.

He could still remember how they met, how they became lovers, even when they knew it may not last, it may the lust or the adrenaline that attracted them to each other, but following her and building his life with her, the feelings they have for each other became love.

One thing he learned from the craziness going on around him is that no matter what, no one is going to get close to him as Marie was, it was too dangerous. He couldn't risk it, it hurts too much. It is pact that he made with himself from that second forward. Never to let anyone to see the real Jason Bourne, never to allow someone to be so into his life that his enemies would be able to use that person to get to him. He had had it, he did not want to loose anyone the way he lost Marie.

It was then he thought of Sydney Bristow, he knew if he was not careful, the pact he had just made would go to waste. They were so alike, their experiences, were so similar, it was like someone was playing a trick on them. He couldn't help but feel trust in Sydney Bristow, there was an invisible bond that had appeared between them ever since their first conversation, but he was still hesitant to be closer to her, it might cost her, her life, even though he knows that she can take care of herself, still he cannot risk it.

He just can't.

A lot of people would get hurt, he had seen how many people care about her, and not surprisingly, he found himself part of that group too. It was inevitable.