Title What do you see when you look at me?
Author lonelywhisperz
Genre Romance/General
Rating 13+ (For now anyways)
Disclaimer Naruto and all of the characters of Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto! Duh! I am not profiting at all by publishing this piece of fiction. I am writing and 'publishing' this work of fan fiction for my pleasure and the pleasure of other Naruto fans! Besides… It isn't worth suing me because I don't own anything but some old smelly socks and some unidentified gooey stuff under my bed. So… Yeah.
Summary Hinata goes out for her birthday celebration!
Chapter Six Happy Birthday...

Stupid girl.

Gaara's composure belied his inner vexation directed towards the unknowing Hyuuga.

Why had she come in the first place? To apologize?

Don't make him laugh.

The last thing he had expected after his unpleasant meeting with Tsunade-sama was the Hyuuga on his doorstep.

But the strangest part was that her presence was not… distasteful.

This was a new revelation for Gaara.

A revelation that now only served to fuel his temper which had not been very good to begin with after seeing Tsunade.

He did not like people. And they didn't like him.

So, naturally, a certain amount of distastefulness for people had developed as he continued living as a solitary beast on a long leash.

It was for this very reason that Gaara worked alone. He was no longer a member of any sandnin team. It had been a decision that the Sunagakure council had come to after Temari had been elected as the new Kazekage and her brothers had been one sandnin short of a complete team. Kankurou had not been pleased with what he felt was a totally biased order from the council but after Gaara had told him that he actually preferred to do missions as a one man team, Kankurou had had no choice but to accept that he would join another team while Gaara would work alone.

Gaara, however, could understand the council's decision.

They feared him as a monster.

They respected him, in a grudging manner, as a sandnin who had never failed a single mission.

And they hated him as the anomaly that they were sure would eventually destroy all that they had built.

Which ninja would be able to be a member of his team and function at his best when they would constantly wonder if Gaara would kill them on a whim?

However, the arrangement unsurprisingly suited him perfectly despite the unsavory reasons behind it.

He did not like people.

People were distasteful.

Yet… This pale, sickly looking little leaf ninja materializes out of the cold night and walks into his life…

And he did not find her distasteful.

When he had seen her on his doorstep only minutes ago, he had actually felt…

He wasn't sure what he had felt. Maybe if he was more familiar with the emotion, he might have dared to go so far to say he had been pleased to see her standing there. But he was not certain if that was an accurate description of his emotions.

But he knew what he had felt after it became obvious she had found him so unbearable that she could not even stomach the sight of him.

Anger.

He was angry.

She should be like everyone else.

She was supposed to be like everyone else.

He was supposed to find her presence nothing more than tolerable. He was expected to dislike her. He should feel distaste at the very thought of her.

Instead, he found her presence to be a flame that he was the moth to. He wanted to discover every hidden secret of her mind and past. Thoughts of her drove him close to distraction.

And he wanted her to look at him.

He couldn't explain why.

He doubted he really wanted to know why.

All he knew was that instead of feeling the urge to kill the pathetic fumbling creature that had stood before him as would have been the norm, he had wanted to shake her, force her to look into his eyes, feel her fingertips on his skin again…

It was not right.

This was not the way things are meant to be.

He should just kill her.

He should.

Shukaku was laughing in the sick gleeful way that he did so often when Gaara entertained such thoughts, encouraging and tormenting him.

Shut up. Just shut up.

Then again…

These foreign and unprecedented emotions were exciting.

Uncomfortable, yes. But exciting nevertheless. These feelings the Hyuuga managed to evoke for no apparent reason made the blood rush through his veins and intrigued him to no end.

Gaara did not like questions that had no answers.

And he had no intention of killing the Hyuuga if it meant the perplexing question of what she was doing to him go unanswered.

He sat down on the chair with his back towards the small window of his apartment and watched the room slowly fall into darkness as the sun set over the rooftops of Konohagakure. He tried to find some peace from the constant shrieking of Shukaku while thoughts and questions of Hyuuga Hinata refused to fade from his mind.

--- o O o ---

"Hinata! Shino!"

Hinata's lips couldn't help but quirk a little as she heard Kiba and Akamaru heading towards Shino and herself, both of whom had been waiting for them to arrive for the past thirty minutes. She shouldn't have rushed earlier.

After the unnerving 'visit' she had had at Gaara's place, she had run all the way back to her apartment and locked herself in until she managed to stop shaking. She could still feel his eyes on her as she calmed herself. Confused was a mild description of how she was feeling.

Fortunately, as soon as she looked the clock on her wall and realized that she only had roughly an hour and a half to bathe, wear her kimono, do her hair and put on a bit of makeup before meeting Kiba and Shino in front of Ichiraku Ramen (it was only a couple of minutes away from the Christmas Bazaar), Hinata quickly rushed to the shower to freshen up.

As she had been about to take out her white kimono to wear, she had noticed her furisode kimono box lying in her closet and for a full five minutes she felt torn as she considered wearing it for the evening's festivities.

In the end she decided she wouldn't have many (if any) other occasions to wear it for so she should wear it tonight since she had an excuse.

All in all, she thought she looked quite nice. Pretty even.

Tonight, instead of tying her long straight hair into a ponytail or a braid at the nape of her neck as she usually did every other day, Hinata chose to wear it down with a small portion of it in a bun held with silver chopsticks on the back of her head. Nothing to fancy. Just a change to feel more like a woman rather than a ninja.

As for make up, she had opted to forgo any foundation since she disliked the caked feeling on her skin but compromised by using some light lavender eye shadow (it matched her kimono) along with dark coal and mascara on her eyelashes and putting on a light pink shade of lip gloss. She had considered using some light pink blush to add color to her cheeks but it seemed ridiculous since her tendency to blush so often would make her look clownish rather than radiant. So plain faced she was. She wondered if she could ever be radiant like other girls did. At least on her birthday.

What Hinata did not seem to realize was that she did look radiant that evening. But that didn't mean everyone else failed to realize it too.

They saw the smooth porcelain skin that shone with happiness and natural inner beauty, the small mouth with generous lips that curved into a shy smile, the perfectly shaped nose above those lips, the fine bone structure that complemented her features, her fine silky hair cascading down her back like silk and of course, her eyes. The mascara on her eyelashes, the coal lining her eyes and the pale lavender eye shadow only served to accentuate the beauty of her white eyes.

--- o O o ---

Kiba smiled as he took in the sight of her in her Kimono and minimalist makeup and hairdo. She looked like a porcelain princess. Flawless. And tonight no one could deny how exquisite she was inside and out. He felt his heart do cartwheels as she turned her head and smiled at him shyly without any rancor at his lateness.

Ignoring Shino's slightly annoyed "You are very late" at Kiba, Hinata took Kiba by the arm with one hand and then Shino's with her other before gaily proceeding towards the bazaar and thanking them both for being so sweet as to spend her birthday with her when she knew they might have had better things to do, obviously trying to avoid Shino from rubbing Kiba the wrong way and vice versa on this pleasant evening.

It was no wonder that Kiba and Shino both secretly harbored romantic feelings to the young woman whom they both knew would never consider them as anything more than the brothers she had never had.

Both knew the score. Neither expected her to reciprocate the hidden emotion that grew in their chest nor did they have any intention of ever revealing it to her. The utmost importance was only her happiness. Their own wounds would heal in time as all their scars had.

Yet, as they both watched the woman that they had both come to love so much, laugh in delight at the children's antics and eye's shine at the bazaar owners loud haggling, they wondered if some wounds weren't meant to ever heal…

--- o O o ---

The Christmas bazaar proved to be more fun than Hinata anticipated.

Children ran around with little sparklers and attempted to catch goldfish with nets while their parents purchased various delicacies and souvenirs to physically remember there night out.

Shino played a few games at the stalls such as dunking five balls into a tiny hoop 10 feet away, 'moving' darts(1) and other challenging activities. Naturally, he got a full score for every game he played and each time he chose a soft toy for Hinata to keep. Kiba, on the other hand, went out of his way to try every type of food for sale and insisted that Hinata try a bit of everything as well. To Hinata's embarrassment, they took countless pictures since they both had firmly told her that to do otherwise was unacceptable.

She felt happier than she could ever remembered.

To just laugh with her friends and have them with her on the night of her birthday to celebrate together. It was an amazing feeling of joy.

Hinata's tinkling laughter could be heard by everyone as Kiba, Shino and herself playfully pretended to have a swordfight with the sparklers they lit.

For this short period of time, Hinata allowed herself to forget all her worries and sorrows and simply soaked in the evening filled with memories she promised herself never to forget.

By the time they arrived at the Barbeque Shack(2) a couple of hours later, she was holding 5 different sized soft toys in her arms ranging from the size of her fist to the size of her torso that Shino had won and had tried more than a dozen treats that Kiba had offered, or rather – force fed her under the excuse that she was too thin to be healthy, her at the bazaar.

She doubted she was going to be able to stomach more than a couple of mouth full barbecued beef. Lovingly she stroked the soft furry texture of the adorable piglet soft toy, roughly the size of her head, that Shino won for her after he heard her gasp in delight at the sight of it. Who knew Shino was such a sweetheart? Of course, she knew he was a total gentleman and the best teammate she could have hoped to have but she never would have thought he would take notice of her childishness. Blushing shyly with a small happy smile, she entered the Barbeque Shack innocently unaware that the real celebration was about to begin.

"SURPRISE!"

She couldn't believe her eyes as she took in the picture in front of her.

There in Barbeque Shack obviously waiting to surprise her was Sakura looking beautiful in a deep red kimono, Kakashi-sensei who was smiling at her with one hand up to greet her while his other hand was holding the latest edition of 'Come Come Paradise', Ino holding a huge bouquet of roses held out towards her, Tenten in a pastel blue kimono with her hair down, Chouji chomping on an extra large bag of chips, Lee and Gai-sensei both of whom were in their good guy pose, Kurenai-sensei smiling at her proudly and Asuma-sensei who had a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his smiling mouth.

Tears began welling up in her eyes as everyone came forward to hug her and wish her happy birthday. She was so embarrassed and couldn't help blushing furiously at the unexpected welcome. Ino, Tenten and Sakura whisked her off to the bathroom and helped her redo her eye makeup efficiently and calm her down before she did further damage to her face. The nonstop girlish chatter about how wonderful she looked and how sorry they were for making her cry and promises of an unbelievable evening made Hinata giggle as she knew they were being kind and that she didn't look nearly as beautiful as the rest of them.

Back at the table, everyone had begun eating and cheerfully told Hinata and the girls to sit down quickly to join them. Soon after the barbeque was over (despite Chouji's vehement cries to keep the meat coming) Kurenai-sensei brought out her birthday cake.

It was an amazing chocolate creation with strawberries sitting neatly on the side atop whip cream surrounded by chocolate fudge. Everyone had a slice as Gai-sensei started the Karaoke session right there and then. Hinata didn't even want to know how they had all managed to convince the Barbeque Shack owner to allow them to do such a thing but none of the other patrons seemed to mind so Hinata happily clapped her hands and cheered (not as loudly as the others, of course) as everyone took turns to belt out tunes of every genre and nature.

"I wonder where Neji is? He should have arrived long ago."

Hinata froze. She had totally forgotten the absence of her cousin until Lee mentioned it. She had been relieved when she saw that he had not been present as she hadn't wanted to answer any of his questions regarding the events of her forfeiting her birthright.

"Umm… Maybe he decided it would be more satisfactory to go train rather than come here?" Hinata suggested unconvincingly. Lee shook his head insistently.

"He promised he would come. But he mentioned having to go deal with something urgent this afternoon." Shrugging his shoulders, Lee turned his attention back to the singing sensei trio that consisted of Kakashi, Asuma and Gai.

Hinata tried not to fret about Neji showing up but couldn't help herself. Even if he did come, he wouldn't make a scene. It was simply undignified to do such a thing.

And Neji was anything but undignified.

Fortunately, all thoughts of Neji went flying out the window after being forced to sing a rendition of "Hikari"(3) with Sakura and Ino and she managed to relax as she continued reveling in the festivities of the evening.

Finally, Kurenai-sensei put her foot down and announced that it was time for the gift-opening to begin. Obediently. Hinata sat down and accepted the gift from her sensei whom she had always regarded as an older sister and role model. She took her time unwrapping the gift, not wanting to rip the beautiful paper more than necessary.

It was a lovely hand carved picture frame that Kurenai had made herself with a photograph of Hinata on Akamaru's back with Shino and Kiba on one side and Kurenai-sensei on the other. Hinata couldn't help but feel touched at the simple but thoughtful handmade gift. Before she knew it, she had thrown herself at her sensei and hugged her tightly.

The following gifts were, in Hinata's opinion, as wonderful. Kiba had gotten her a leather necklace with a black fang pendant, which he claimed had been acquired from an amazingly rare and beastly species of Onbaa(4). Shino got her a novel that she mentioned she wanted to buy the week before. Sakura and Ino had both pitched in to get her a high end hair care set (Because they both claimed that it was an utter shame for such a fine mane not to get the proper care it deserved). Tenten gave her a set of a dozen fine Shurikens while Lee and Gai-sensei gave her their special green 'training outfit' which they assured her would increase her performance by at least ten times as she was still in the 'spring of youth'. Hinata decided it was best not to argue and accepted it with a smile and invisible sweat drop running down the side of her head. Chouji gifted a book on baking cookies to her which she suspected was a hint for Christmas but was nevertheless happy to receive. Asuma said he hadn't been sure what to get her so he had bought her a small charm bracelet that had a small cupcake charm attached to it which he said was to commemorate her birthday. Finally Kakashi passed her a small package which he said would be best opened when she was in the privacy of her own room. Hinata giggled uncertainly before deciding it was in everyone's best interest not to call his bluff (Kakashi has the scariest and best poker face) then and there.

"Wow! That's quite a treasure load you have there hmm?" Sakura pointed out the soft toys, gifts, bouquet of roses and what was left of the cake piled on the table.

"Yeah! Which one of the guys you gonna get to help you lug all this stuff back home? Too bad Shikamaru isn't around or I would make him do it since he is such a lazy bum!" Ino butted in.

"I'll help you Hinata-san! It will be good training!" Lee jumped forward and immediately posed with his good guy stance. "Excellent Lee! Don't let the springtime of youth pass you by in idleness and immobility!" Gai-sensei grinned at his student with a thumbs-up of approval.

"No. I shall assist my cousin."

Hinata's head spun in surprise at the sound of her cousin's voice and she froze at the sight of him framed in the doorway.

Kiba and Shino both visibly stiffened at the sound of the voice that brooks no argument from anyone. Kiba growled slightly under his breath as he turned around to look with narrowed eyes at the source of the voice coming from the doorway of the restaurant. Shino also turned slowly to face him warily.

Neji.

Hyuuga Neji.

"Well well… If it isn't Neji, here to grace us with his presence." The sarcasm practically dripped off Kiba's tongue.

Neither Shino nor Kiba have been on very good terms with Neji since their first Chuunin examination when he had nearly killed Hinata out of misplaced hatred. Hinata had repeated tried to improve the relation between them but to no avail. They merely tolerated one another warily.

"Kiba, it is alright." Hinata didn't want a needless confrontation in front of everyone. Not that Neji helped by smirking at Kiba like he was a rabid dog that was better suited to kick than pet.

"We shall help Hinata. Your assistance is not required." Shino wasn't backing down.

Hinata wasn't sure if she should allow Kiba and Shino help her bring her things back to her apartment for her and then having to tell them what had occurred the night before or let Neji carry them and be forced to answer the questions he was sure to have.

Choosing between lying against rock or a hard place…

Neither held any appeal.

Kiba and Shino were like brothers to her and she knew she would have to explain to them what had happened by tomorrow but she did not relish doing so before she absolutely had to. At the same time, Neji, despite Kiba and Shino's persistent dislike of the talented Hyuuga, was her cousin and they had both, in time, come to create a certain fragile bond as he learnt to accept and forgive the Main Branch Family for Hizashi and his own sad past. He deserved to hear her side of the story if he wanted it.

No one else seemed inclined on interfering in the matter and simply watched the 3 boys compete silently over who would help the indecisive girl with her things.

Then the least likely person broke the tension in the simplest way imaginable.

"Well I have to be going now as it is past 11 and I need to be home to finish some chores and get my beauty sleep. Hinata-san, I'm sorry I can't help with your things but as Neji is here and you are both headed in the same direction I won't fret over it. Ja ne."

With that Kakashi walked zig-zagged towards the exit, his eyes never leaving what appeared to be a very interesting page of his "Come Come Paradise".

It didn't take long before the others took his lead and made their goodbyes to Hinata. Hinata quickly managed to procure a couple of large plastic bags from the Barbeque Shack's waitress to put her gifts and items in before assuring Kiba and Shino that she would be fine.

Before they had a chance to protest she scurried out of Barbeque Shack and made a beeline towards her new apartment. Neji was right behind her with the two plastic bags full of items in his arms.

Neither said a word to one another as they both passed the turn that would have taken them back to the Hyuuga House.

Hinata just kept walking, too afraid to say anything first lest he become annoyed with her clumsy awkwardness. Neji positioned himself right beside her after widening his strides slightly to catch up to her.

"Hinata."

She simply shook her head, refusing to look at him. "N-not here Neji-niisan. Back at my p-p-place." Her voice was shaky but she couldn't help it. She knew that Neji wasn't going to beat around the bush and she needed to feel more secure before she would be able to answer him without tripping over herself.

"Fine. Some privacy will allow us to be a bit more frank with one another."

Hinata did not like the sound of that. People who were frank to one another rarely parted ways on good terms. And while they were not on the best of terms, Hinata looked up to and genuinely admired as well as respected Neji. She appreciated the bond they shared as Hyuuga's, as cousins and as fellow comrades. He was an amazing individual who had strived to reach the level of skill that no other Hyuuga had ever thought to achieve regardless of the fact that he was from the Branch Family and the odds had been stacked against him.

Neji didn't speak and did not seem to have any intention of doing so until they reached her apartment. She stayed calm by continuously telling herself that she had nothing to worry about with Neji. She had faced her father and the entire family council and come out unscathed. This was hardly anything in comparison.

What could he have to say to her that she had not said to herself? Hinata knew what she had given up. Knew each one of her own shortcomings that had led up to her ultimate rejection of a position she had been borne to. Had no illusions that she was not and would never be the Hyuuga that was expected of her.

Not when there was Neji and Hanabi for her to be compared to.

Not that she blamed them.

Far from it. She loved her family. It was simply the way things were. Fate had her own plans.

They eventually arrived to her apartment in silence. Hinata felt somewhat shy of letting him into her new 'home', secretly hoping that he would not find fault with it.

She lead him to her four seater dining table, quickly put the roses Ino had given her into a vase (good thing she had thought of having one since she had wanted to brighten up her apartment with flowers) and excused herself to her room to change out of her kimono. She didn't waste any time putting the kimono away and changing into her knee length shorts and a large t-shirt. She wiped her face clean and tied her hair back into her usual neat ponytail.

Back to normal.

Nothing out of the ordinary or feminine.

Just… Hinata.

She stared in the mirror for a moment as the thought sunk in then turned and made her way back to Neji.

He had not moved from the chair.

"Umm… W-would you like some tea?" Hinata turned on her electric kettle to heat up the water, not waiting for a reply. She needed some tea herself.

Neji's eyes followed her through her kitchen as she flitted about getting her mugs out of the still sparse cupboard and tea leaves. She poured the tea for Neji although she doubted he would drink it.

Sipping her tea quietly from across of her cousin was more nerve-wrecking than she had thought possible. The seconds passed by slowly.

"Neji-niisan…"

"I don't understand why."

Hinata looked at Neji knowing sadly that even if she was to explain how she felt, he would still not understand her motivations. Astonishingly, his voice had not been cold. At least not that she could detect. He sounded… sad.

His expression did not change in the least though. He had a poker face that could rival Kakashi's. Unconsciously, she twirled her index finger over the warm rim of her mug as she tried to find the words that could suitably express how she felt.

"You cannot say that you truthfully had not expected me to do such a thing Neji-niisan…"

"But I did not! Not now…"

Hinata looked up in surprise at his tone and words. Why did he sound so angry? She had expected him to demand an explanation but not really care either way.

"I-I don't see why not… You know I am never going to be as talented or skilled as you or Hanabi-san…"

"Stop it." Neji's eyes flashed at Hinata from across the table. Her fingers stilled.

"Stop what?"

"Stop comparing yourself to me and to Hanabi-san!"

Startled, Hinata stared at Neji, unable to believe her ears.

"B-But… Neji-niisan you know that it is true…"

"I don't know any such thing."

"Neji-niisan… Please don't make this complicated… I thought about it for the longest time and I know that what I am doing is the only way…"

"The only way to what precisely? The only way to reaffirm everyone's twisted opinion that you should not be the heir? To escape from the Hyuuga destiny? To let Hanabi try to live up to everything everyone ELSE insist she should and must be instead of you?" His voice did not rise by so much as a decibel but Hinata could feel the sincere anger resonating from him.

"That isn't it and you know it…" Her eyes began to burn as she felt the tears wanting to escape. "I may have been born to be the heiress but it is obvious that I do not have what is required to lead the clan. You have heard father speak of me. You know he thinks I am too soft and undetermined to make a capable leader… You hear the whispers of how I should not have been the first born…" She hung her head and curbed her instinctive need to fiddle her fingers by keeping them firmly clamped around her cooling mug of tea.

"So? That means nothing. I cannot understand why you allowed them to be correct by simply giving up! Don't you understand where you stand now? You are only a hairline above the Branch Family now. Barely considered a Main branch Hyuuga any longer!"

"Why do you care?" Hinata's eyes glittered with unfallen tears as she stared in bewilderment at her cousin whom had never shown any care for her wellbeing.

--- o O o ---

She took his breath away. She truly did. Even as she looked as though she might shatter at any moment, she was amazing in his eyes.

Neji controlled the impulse to get up and smother her against him in frustration and unacceptable love.

He had always hated the Hyuuga clan with a passion for the injustice they caused his father and himself but never had he held such rage in his chest towards them as he did now. The anger and self-righteousness he had felt before was nothing in comparison.

Because of Hinata.

He had not realized over the past few years that he had been slowly falling in love with his cousin. It had developed at such an unnoticeable pace that it had taken him awhile to realize the reason behind his increasing interest and concern of her. When it finally dawned on him that he was in fact in love with her, he had gone through an entire withdrawal process in retaliation of the impossible emotion.

He could not love her.

But he did.

Recently he had come to terms with the fact. It was an unsatisfactory conclusion since it spelled an unhappy ending for him but there was little more to be done. Time and fate had to run its course and he could only hope his heart will be wiser in the future.

Because he had no future with her.

A Main Branch family member never married a member of the Branch family. It was not accepted nor a tolerated possibility.

The same blood may run through their veins but their lineage may never mix.

Neji was not sure how far back the unwritten rule had been defined but it was firmly upheld. He had no illusions or daydreams of what may be.

It did not stop him from admiring her in silence.

And he did admire her.

He just couldn't bring himself to show it. It hardly seemed right and Neji did not feel comfortable of such a thing. Neji did not 'admire' anything or anyone that was not of extraordinary value or measure.

Yet somehow, Hinata had met his high standards.

He looked at the girl in front of him now, his face totally blank without any expression, wishing he could tell her why he cared. Why he loved everything about her.

The way she spoke so softly he had to strain his ears to catch every word.

The way she smiled shyly in his direction even when he refused to look her way.

The way she made the incomparably delicious tea he drank with secret zeal.

The way she looked at him when her eyes glittered with tears just like that.

The way she sparred, never admitting defeat until her legs could no longer support her.

The way she healed those who were hurt regardless of the fact that they had hurt her before.

The way she forgave those who did not deserve it…

But he would never tell her.

"I don't care but you are my family and I will not merely stand by while you dance to the tune those old crones play." He scowled at the thought of the elders happily accepting Hanabi as heiress as they had wanted.

Idiots.

"They didn't force me Neji-niisan…"

"Like hell."

"Tch. Neji-niisan… I could have stayed. I could have become heiress and have Hanabi by my side always second to me. I could have shouldered our clan's burdens. And maybe I could have led the clan to greater things… But I did not stay. I will not become the heiress. Hanabi will be our clan's heiress and she shall shoulder and manage the burdens with far more capable hands than my own. I am more likely to have led our clan to degradation with my shortcomings but Hanabi will undoubtedly lead us to better things with her strengths. I know she can. She will…"

Neji wondered if she would still feel the same way if he told her how Hanabi had been heartbroken over the loss of the one lifeline she had had. Didn't Hinata realize how much Hanabi depended on her? Just to be there? The tears she had shed in Neji's presence spoke volumes. Hanabi did not cry in front of people. Hiashi had trained her well but this was the straw of hay that had broken the camels back. Or rather, Hanabi's spirit.

He considered telling her despite promising Hanabi not to speak of it to anyone. Surely it would make Hinata see reason? Hanabi did not want to be the heiress with all it entailed. She wanted what all the Hyuuga's privately longed for.

The freedom to live as they wished.

As heiress, Hanabi would have no such freedom.

However, as he studied Hinata's expression filled with upset and regret over pain and difficulty she had caused over her actions, Neji could also see the determination to carry through with it. She had no intention of backing down.

Brave girl.

Bitterly, Neji wished he had the same courage to retaliate the Hyuuga family openly. To tell the lot of them to go to hell and that he loved Hinata and claim her as his own. But he couldn't… He did not want them to have the pleasure of knowing that he had fallen for the girl he had once attempted to kill out of spite towards them. The irony was undeniable. And more disgustingly, he did not know what he would do or where he would go if he was not a Hyuuga clan member any longer.

He would die before admitting it to anyone but that was the truth. The Hyuuga clan gave him reason to live. And the reason was a simple one. To be the best of them all. The one Hyuuga with no equal-that would never have an equal. That was all he strived to be. There was little else in his life.

Without purpose or reason, what was any man to do?

"You do not know what you speak of Hinata-san. What are you going to do with yourself now?"

Neji was surprised at the tiny smile that graced her lips at his question. "I am going to do what I was always too afraid to do before… I shall be the person that I am without fear or disappointment and live life as I should have-without regrets."

--- o O o ---

Hinata felt as though a slight weight lifted off her shoulders as soon as she uttered the words.

Not much.

But enough to offer some relief from all the conflicting emotions.

She would no longer continue living her life feeling like a failure.

She would no longer regret the 'might haves', 'could haves' or 'should haves'.

She would no longer shed tears over the woman that she was never meant to be.

Neji looked at her blankly. Hinata wondered if she had actually managed to surprise him with her determination to leave the Hyuuga to be her own person. To be honest, she surprised herself.

The only thing that frightened her now was the possibility of finding out that she may not in fact be able to succeed on her own. Without the clan.

It would be the ultimate humiliation.

And it would prove them all right.

Hinata may not have much of it, but the little pride she did have refused to let that possibility ever come true.

"Neji-niisan… Please see it from my point of view… The clan will flourish without me and more importantly, I shall flourish without the clan."

--- o O o ---

Neji didn't know what to say, on one hand he wanted her to return with him to the clan and take back the title that rightfully belonged to her and on the other he wanted her do what she felt was right, so he stayed silent.

Hinata looked at him imploringly, her eyes practically begged him to wish her well and good luck on her chosen path.

"I don't think I am an overly selfish person Neji-niisan…"

Try - Not at all…

"And I have tried for so many years to be all that father and the clan hoped I could be. I truly did…"

I know… I watched as you strived…

"But it is obvious now that my destiny is not meant to be with the clan. Not as their heiress at least… I neither possess the strengths and talent that is required of a great ninja like you nor am I quick, clever and cunning which all leaders must be like Hanabi."

But you are far more superior to either of us in so many ways if you could only see…

"And to be utterly honest Neji-niisan… I feel as though I am slowly dying in the clan. My soul can't take anymore torture. The whispers, the looks, the contempt and worst of all, the self-torment and disappointment when I fail to meet impossible expectations… Self imposed or otherwise.

You have exceeded all my expectations of you…

Neji sighed. He understood. Everything that Hinata had just said struck a chord inside.

He has been guilty of everything she had just said.

It didn't matter that it was in the past.

He had hurt her.

And now she was taking a stand to free herself of them all. In her position, he doubted he would have been able to stand it any longer either.

"Fine… It is your decision and I shall respect it." Neji watched as Hinata's face softened with happiness and relief at his eventual acceptance and half-hearted approval.

There was nothing more to say.

Neji slipped his hand into his fanny pack and took out as small neatly wrapped tube and placed it on the table before getting up.

He didn't want to be there any longer. There will be other opportunities to see her and time to spend with her. At the door, he paused. Parting this way would only make Hinata feel cold and slightly abandoned.

And he did not want to hurt her any longer.

Without turning, he said "Happy Birthday, Hinata-san. If ever there is anything you require…" He let the sentence trail off, not sure how to finish it. Feeling his face heat up, he left. She was a smart girl, she would understand that he had just offered her his assistance if she ever needed help or was in trouble.

And he would.

At least then he would have the chance to see her again.

--- o O o ---

Hinata watched as her cousin left her apartment. She felt a little sad he didn't want to stay longer and just… talk.

But he had been nice in comparison to other times they had been together. She would simply have to be thankful for small blessings.

Curious, she got up and took the wrapped tube. Nothing fancy. Just plain brown paper. Slowly she ripped it off the package and then slowly unscrewed the top to take out and see what it contained.

She gasped as she saw what it was.

It was an exquisitely crafted silk fan that was unmistakably made to match her furisode kimono. The skeleton was smooth white wood that looked fragile but was very strong. The silk pattern had every shade from silver white to deep lavender plum flowers precisely like her kimono.

Hinata held the fan up to the light admiring the beautiful fan, still awed that Neji had taken the trouble to have one commissioned for her. She didn't for a moment believe he could have found one in a store.

Touched, she carefully put the fan back into the tube it had come in and then went to store it in her cupboard with her furisode kimono. She wondered if she would ever have the chance to use either after tonight.

Hinata went back to the dining table and mentally sorted where she would put the gifts she received from everyone. Just mentally though. She didn't have the heart to put them all away yet. Besides, they would still be there the next day.

After staring blankly at the mug in front of her for 15 minutes with no sign of falling to sleep despite her weariness and feeling no inclination of washing up the dishes, she grabbed her jacket and purse and left her apartment to go for a walk.

The dishes could wait one more day as well.

Authors Note

LW : Okay! It has come to my attention that Hinata's birthday actually is NOT on the 18th of December but in fact on the 27th! I can't remember where in the world I had gotten 18th from but I had been sure I saw it on the net. I am so sorry for the mix up! It is just so embarrassing I don't know where to put myself. Aihs…

Hinata : Oh! No wonder. I was confused about that for awhile. But I am just happy that there was no nude scene with me and Gaara-sama. What a relief.

LW : Actually I had to push that back to the next chapter as this chapter was waaaaaaay long and it sort of threw this chapter off balance if it ended at the nude scene. So be prepared at the next update! Hahahahahaha!(Evil & Perverted Laugh)

Hinata :Stares blankly at LW: … :Faints: (again)

Gaara : Oh lord. I really oughta-

LW : Oh! Look at the time! I have to go and… um… do stuff:runs: Btw! Psssssttt :looks to make sure Hinata still fainted: YES! I made her team mates and her cousin have feelings towards her! It made sense and it will make things easier if I decide to throw in some love triangles and drama! Hee hee hee… Nothing confirmed but do let me know what you thought :keeps running:

Follow up Authors Note

1) 'Moving' darts : You know the kind of boards that are stuck on some sort of moving mechanism and wont sit still as you try to hit it with the darts. Not easy… P

2) Barbeque Shack : I don't know the actual name of the barbeque place in Naruto so I made one up. Gomen! If anyone knows its name please drop me a note k? Thanks!

3) Hikari : It is the japanese rendition of the song "simple and clean" by Utada Hikaru. Nothing to do with the plot but just thought I would let you guys know who the artist was. I like her a lot as her songs as quite nice in my opinion. Thanks to LaDyPnAi for telling me:hugs:

4) Onbaa : Gotta watch Naruto Anime Episode 185 to know what I mean. Hee hee. Otherwise, it is just a sort of legendary beast with fangs k?

Sad but now 10 will be the magic number…

Arigato! All the support and reviews are so good for my mental health! XD However, as reviews for the fic are large in number and take a good deal of time to reply to I am sad to say that from now on I shall only reply to 10 chosen ones (cuz I can't bring myself not to show ANY appreciation to you). Anyways! I have a part time job now so I am not home all hours of the day to dedicate to my poor fics… Oh the sadness! BUT rest assured I shall not abandon it and leave you hanging. T'would be a crime since leading you on is not acceptable after all of you have faved, alerted and reviewed this fic throughout its lifespan. Lots of love and please remember I love you all as much as you all love this fic ;-) Ja Ne!

Daifuku Obsessed Ohhhhhhh! Okay! Now I get it. The term was so interesting I actually looked it up and found the definition of wikipedia! LoL! Anyways, thanks a lot for the compliment! I try my best. :grabs cookie:

kittydemon18 Heyya:grabs more cookies: I am indeed a SHE! Muahahahahahaha:cough: Okay. I'm glad you loved the last chapter and hoping you like this one too. I love Kiba and Shino too! They are super adorable! And how could you think that Temari would be anything but practical in her job? It just so happened that Shikamaru is the most (well, almost) intelligent leafnin so naturally she would want him to be in Sunagakure :cough: yeah :cough: right :cough: Hee hee… T'will be interesting to see where they all lead.

dreaming-freak lol! Thank you! It is so wonderful to know you liked it so much! I was dang worried people be bored. :sweatdrops: This chapter was a LITTLE more interesting me thinks but no interaction between our main couple. Sorry! Next one will be dang interesting though! Hee hee… And yes – more training in order for the two to get along without fainting spells and mood swings. Hahahaha!

iLychLuna I realized that there was a problem too so no worries. Glad you got to read and reply! I love the part where he asks her what she sees too! I think poor Gaara-sama just wants someone to see what is beneath the super scary demented monster… Lets see:opens him up and sees super scary demented beast: Ohhh… That's not good… (Gaara : You think!) Erk:runs:

Katterree Fengari Cuz me likey! Wheeeeeeee… Hehe… Sorry about Gaara not Kazekage cuz I agree that he is SMEXY as a powerful leader person thing. Hahahaha! And yes! That is SOOOOOOO made for Gaara:Imagines him saying it to her and shudders(in a good way): X-DAnd Neji was always meant to show up here as you can see :points up: Hope that that fulfills your needs!

YamaNekoYoukaiChan Im so sorry but you have to wait ONE more update for the nudie scene! This chapter just too long and it was off balance with that scene as the cliffhanger. GOMEN! Please be patient with me! Thank you:clings:

Neurotic.Engel Awwwwwwww :hugs: You make me sooo happy! I shall never quit this fic or end it abruptly just cuz of your comment:hugs again: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for the support!

Foxtrot Hahahaha! I appreciate the honesty love! It just makes me so embarrassed to have such a positive comment like this. But I am sure there are a few other very good fics out there. We just need to really dig deep! LoL:Helps you: And as for the lemon… I MAY write one for this fic but I am still working out the kinks. Hee hee…

MaggieM'Gill "Het stories"? Errrr… please tell me what that means k? I am soooo dumb right now. :sweardrops: But I must say I am honored to know that I am one of the only het fics you read and am actually enjoying! And yes I am trying hard not to make the fic go too fast or slow. Sadly, that also means it isn't going to be overly long either. Eventually it will end when I feel it is right… But that's another story for another day. Yes, I noticed a lot of people did not ever imagine Hinata leaving her clan which surprised me but hey! To each their own. It fits in my plot pretty well methinks. As you cans see, Neji does indeed come into the picture. :wonders if I surprised you with the Neji I portrayed: Hee hee… If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask because I will try to answer them all if I am capable. Finally, yes I am shortening it to only 10 replies now cuz it just takes a lot of my time to reply to all of them! Oh! And darling, just so you know, I always have time to spare for those who spare time for me and my work! I shall never ignore you unless you give me a reason to! LoL:hugs:

death and a red moon You are so sweet :checks to see if you gave me diabetes: Thank you for faving my story! (and everyone else too of course!) And I agree, I don't think Gaara is going to walk away from this situation or from Hinata (or let Hinata run away from it!). :points up: He certainly doesn't show any inclination of doing so. You are not a ditz! You wouldn't be able to tell what a great fic this was if you were! LoL:head explodes: Ehhhh… See you next update k. :hugs: