okey pokey, and here is da danan danna nana! Chapter 3! Yes, I know it took me long enough.
Shin Rigel, darksaphire thanks for reviewing.
Snort yes, DS, they "did it" but I cant put it up I don't think. Bah. I'm thinking about getting an AFF account and putting the uh...uncensored stories up on there. Any thoughts?
Now, this chapter has messed things up because I've started, for some reason, setting it in early first season. Problem being that Kai isn't supposed to have regained his memory yet. So I hope you can forgive me for bollixing up the official plot line but i'm afraid it was necessary my dears. If it really bothers you, give a note and I'll...I'm not sure what but I'll fix it somehow. Anyway, hope you enjoy! (Que "voice of doom") The morning after...
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Before I fell asleep last night, I'd had a terrible thought that the morning could be awkward. Luckily, it was anything but.
I'd been 'awake' for a while, just drifting in and out of consciousness as I haven't done since I was really small. Ray shifted, took a deep breath and then his lips curved into a smile. His incredible eyes opened and then he leant up and gave me a still sleepy kiss.
A few minutes later, loud voices and footsteps went past the door and we, in bed together stark naked, understandably tensed. Then Ray grinned, smacked me on the arm and pointed towards the bolt on the door, which I remembered we'd managed to lock in a moment of coherency. It had been no mean feat staying quiet through last night but leaving the door open would have been asking for trouble.
The door handle rattled and Kenny's voice came from outside.
"Guys? Are you ok in there?" I cleared my throat, hoping I sounded normal.
"Were fine." I grinned. "Ray hasn't got any clothes on yet."
Said neko-jin stared at me disbelievingly, which only made my desperately silent laughing worse. I could almost see Kenny's colouring face when he thought that he might have walked in on his friend changing. I don't think they'll make any connections; I reckon they think I'm asexual. Ray whispered in my ear.
"Arsehole." I kissed him on the forehead apologetically.
We heard the sounds of the others moving off and as our laughing eases, I roll us over and settle between his legs. I reach for the lube Ray laughingly produced last night while stating,"In case of emergencies," and kiss him to muffle any sounds.
Later, I collapse onto his chest as he relaxes against me and slips his legs from around my hips. I reach up and kiss him on the chin, leaning on my arms either side of his head and just looking at him.
"Kai?" He whispers.
"Hm?"
"What is it?" I shake my head.
"Nothing." He rolls his eyes.
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We spend the next few days on a high; even Tyson doesn't irritate me quite as much as usual. We don't talk about 'feelings' at all, for which I am unbelievably thankful; neither of us seems to know truly what is going on, just that we're definitely more than friends. We talked about 'coming out' to the guys, looked at each other and gave up the idea. For now, we're happy with our 007 existence. For example, the other day we were alone since the others had gone out to the cinema.
We got up late and decided to shower together, as you do. We spent an enjoyable few minutes kissing each other into a sweat before a load of voices came through the door. We panicked slightly, since being in the shower together is not generally accepted behaviour between team mates.
We grabbed our clothes, towels. We couldn't leave, since the door opened onto the communal area. I got changed, finger to my lips, then climbed quickly into the bathroom cupboard while throwing an exasperated look at Ray. He bit his lip, grinning as he got dressed and glanced in the mirror as though to check that no evidence remained. I beckoned slightly and he came closer, expecting me to tell him something. Grasping the side of the cupboard to prevent a fall that would destroy my remaining dignity, not to mention alert the boys outside to a suspicious situation, I quickly slipped my hand behind his head and kissed him fully on the lips, before smirking and nudging him towards the door. He gave me a murderous look and stepped out of the bathroom.
"Alright guys? How come you're back so soon?" Ever calm. You'd never guess that a bare (no pun intended) few minutes earlier he'd been making out in the shower with his team captain.
However, I am not nearly so composed when Tyson comes in and uses the toilet but a metre away from me. I hope I never have to witness that again.
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Aside from sneaky shared showers, we have other occasions that become significantly couple orientated; for instance, cooking. I now help whenever it is his turn to make dinner and I'm becoming a right little chef's sidekick. I still don't talk much, even now, but I think Ray knows that I love him. There's no need for us to say it yet.
I did almost tell him the other day. The others were watching television and Ray and I were in the kitchen. He was stirring a sauce on the hob and I stood just behind him, taking a chance and slipping my arm around his waist and leaning my head on his shoulder. He stiffened at first but then melted back into me. And I mean melted. I smelt his hair and tightened my grip around his waist as I felt the words linger on the very tip of my tongue. Three little words that mean so much and yet so little. Then we jumped apart as Max bounded in, exuberant as ever. He blathered on about some nonsense he'd been doing today, the logistics of which skimmed completely over my head; I was too busy eyeing up his jugular.
"So guys, what do you say?"
Ray nods, since he has the incredible ability to stay tuned in to the most irrelevant conversations ever voiced.
"Yeah Max, sure. Neither of us has any plans."
Whoa, back up. What's this? I turn to him.
"Huh?" He gestures out the door after the departed blond.
"Paintballing. We're going tomorrow."
I can't stop the grin covering my face. I'm gonna thrash the lot of em. 'Cept Ray of course. Paintballing? I've been doing proper target practice with real guns and bullets for years. Ah, this is going to be absolutely hilarious.
"So what's this in aid of?" He shrugs.
"Just fun, I s'pose."
"Fun?" He laughs.
"Yeah Kai, fun. Don't you know what that means?"
"Whatever, Ray."
He frowns slightly and turns back to the stove. Guilt creeps up; I forget that most people aren't as desensitised as the Demolition boys and I so they're more likely to be hurt by little things that wouldn't even sting us. I step up behind him again, contrite as possible.
"Sorry."
"…"
"Ray?"
"…"
"Ray, I'm sorry. Please talk to me?"
"Whatever, Kai."
Like I said, we're desensitized. But boy, that hurt. Everything that I've just been storing so that I don't have to deal with it rears its ugly head and I feel something lodge in my throat. For the first time in years, I feel tears prick my eyes though I'm not really sure why. Maybe because the first person I've felt for in years has just acted like he doesn't care. He's definitely proved his point at any rate. Close as we are, I haven't cried for an awful long time and I thought I'd grown out of it. The only person I'd count as friend who has seen me cry is Tala and there's no way I can let Ray of all people see me this weak. So I pull back and go into our room, locking the door behind me; I need some time to sort myself out before I face him again. His shock as I leave is palpable and I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way.
I'm lying on my bed, mentally screaming at myself for being so bloody melodramatic. But I can't stop the few little tears that escape; this is the first 'fight' we've had since being…together? An Item? Or maybe Together with a capital T. Jesus Christ what is wrong with me?
After a few hours I'm completely drained. Ray hasn't come to look for me; he knows when I want to be alone. I don't think I would cry now if I saw him; all I feel is an unpleasant numbness. I hear voices outside. Tyson and Max.
"Whoa, buddy! What's the deal?"
"Tyson! Don't be so insensitive! Are you alright Ray?" I hear him now, a little shaky.
"Yeah, I'm fine thanks Max. Just a bit homesick."
I hear a knock.
"Hey Kai. Can I come in? I need to get something."
I get up wearily and open the door, keeping my eyes down as he comes in. When I look up, I notice that his eyes are red and there's a glistening line from his eye to the side of his face where he's smudged a tear. We're quiet, knowing that the others can hear from the outside until they go to their rooms which are conveniently on the other end of the little flat thing.
After a few minutes, I hear a shaky indrawn breath behind me and I quickly turn around. Seeing he is desperately trying not to start crying again, I immediately reach and hug him; something that still doesn't come very easily to me. He completely breaks down and starts sobbing, which leaves me stranded for a moment; geez I'm only making it worse! We sit on my bed and I just wait until he calms down, instinctively rocking him. After a while he manages a slight, bitter laugh.
"Look at me, I'm blubbering like a girl."
"Na. Nothing wrong with getting upset." I close my eyes tightly and say ever so quietly, "Love you, Ray." He smiles at me, a little unsure.
"Love you, Kai."
For a minute, I want to kiss him. But I think I must have wanted to keep it a firmly non-sexual moment. Particularly since we were both still a bit emotional. Instead, I just lay down and we both slept in my bed, in our clothes from that day no less.
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The next morning, everything is back to normal and if anything we seem a little closer; we know that little 'spats', as Max calls them, are normal and that in the long run they don't matter. The long run…I really am one for getting ahead of myself aren't I?
Well, the Russian tournament was looming. We were on the boat to my homeland; I was going back. I had mixed feelings about it, as you can imagine and Ray had noticed that I was apparently brooding.
"What? More than usual?"
Currently, we're lying on the little couch in the cabin we share with Max. Blondie's not here, obviously. Ouch, what a lot of explanation that would be.
"Yeah, Kai. More than usual. Less 'leave me alone' more 'come near me and I'll cut your throat'. What's up?"
"Nothin."
"Don't gimme that. There's something wrong," he leans over me with an evil smile, "And I'm going to find out what it is. You have to be ticklish somewhere."
A small smile tugs at my lips. Ticklish? Ha, you wish, kid. He spends a few minutes trying the usual places, with not a jot of success. But then, the impossible happens.
"Aah! Don't do that! No, Ray. Ha ha, no stop. RAY!" He pulls back and just sits there holding his sides and laughing at me.
"You're sadistic." He stares disbelievingly at me.
"I'm sadistic?! That's rich, Kai, that's rich. Seriously, if there was anything bothering you you'd tell me right?"
"'Course."
True, I avoid lying when I can but this is just one of those exceptions. If I told him everything about my life, chances are he would never speak to me again; he'd be shocked and disgusted by what I've done and what I…well, what I haven't done. Sometimes, I think about all the boys at the Abbey who "disappeared". And I did nothing. I did the impossible, the unheard of-I escaped. But did I go to the police? No.
I'm quite pale so the scars on my back don't show. The rest, I can pass off as childhood injuries. Ray has no idea of the atrocities committed; he doesn't even know the damn place exists. Neither he nor the others could comprehend that such a place could exist; it's the sort of thing you read about in history books. If they knew, I imagine they would also think it a simple thing to close it down. Ah yes, send in a couple of policemen, "I'm terribly sorry but we're going to have to ask you to close; health and safety and all that. I hope it isn't too much trouble?" Sorted.
What they don't get is that anybody who so much as thought about it would be dead before you can say, "Excuse me, officer". Anyway, on a lighter note, I'm going to go practice.
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Robert, huh? I'm surprised I haven't seen him before, but then if he doesn't enter the tournaments then there really would have been no occasion to. For the first time in many months I actually feel a little…insecure about my blading skills; that bitbeast was incredible and it's wielder more than impressive. If there are more of these, then we really are in trouble; true, I encountered my fair share of overly powerful bitbeasts in the labs but to actually see someone command that much power is unsettling.
Command. Yes, that's the word; Robert doesn't respect his bitbeast and, inevitably, Gryphonion will one day turn on him. The others haven't picked up on that yet but they will, I'm sure; just give them time. I was taught to find the flaws in everything that crossed my path, even my own weaknesses, which means that I've found it pretty difficult to accept that my team will never be perfect; they haven't experienced anything like the Abbey and I hope to God that they never will.
The closer to Russia we get, the tenser I get, though I don't think I show it to anyone. Except Rei; he's getting more and more suspicious as this goes on. Eventually they'll put two and two together and I'll be up the proverbial creek without a paddle, let alone a motor.
There's something else that's worrying me; my grandfather. I really didn't think that I would feel the remotest bit of guilt over the looming theft of the guys' bitbeasts but now that it comes to it and now that I have to face up to something I've desperately been trying to ignore and forget I can't face doing that to them. To Rei. Especially to Rei.
Driger is so important to him and when he lost him before the Asian tournament he was devastated; I can't begin to imagine how he would feel if I was the one who took him. I can't begin to imagine how I would feel if our positions were reversed. But I have to.
When my grandfather issued his ultimatum, he didn't have to tell me what he would do if I refused; I know what he's capable of. He has guardianship of me, so I would be shipped straight back there, where he would confiscate, perhaps destroy, Dranzer and then make me watch as he had Tala, Bryan, Spencer and Ian beaten by the guards until they bled and screamed. So, obviously, losing Rei is far less terrible than that fate. It is, it really is. It must be…
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GAH!! The melodrama!! gags