Oh you lazy bastards. I go to all the trouble of updating, just for you! But 35 people read it, and not one, not one person has reviewed so far. I don't care about the damn time difference, or the fact that I haven't updated in months. I am so upset I am going to have to update again. And you had better review this one!

Don't think my death threats are empty! Xoxo

"Muahahahahahahahahaha!" Harry was standing in front of Hogwarts Castle laughing his head off.

"Harry dear, with all the trouble in your 5th year you would have realised by now that people think you're crazy enough already without you laughing like a genius." Admonished Hermione.

"Ahh," he cleared his throat. "Quite right my dear."

She just shook her heads at his mood swings. He never said anything but she could tell just how much fun he was having being around his parents.

"James!" he yelled at the black haired boy who had slowed his steady jog to a walk. (Their mean DADA professors were making them run around the castle as a warm up for their double lesson today)

"But professor!" he whined back. "I'm on the other side of the castle! How can you see me?"

"Muahahahahaha!" he cackled again. "I SEE ALL!"

"Oh god," muttered Hermione.

Once the students were nice and sweaty, Harry and Hermione announced that it was time to start the lesson.

"A lot of you have been coming to us, wanting to know what the image of the woman standing spread-eagle (jeez that sounds suss) on your timetable means." Announced Hermione.

There was general murmurs of ascension from the class.

"Wellllll," continued Hermione slowly "It's the muggle practice of aerobics."

Most of the guys scratched their heads and said "Huh?"

But surprisingly quite a few of the girls knew what it was.

"Your spanky running clothes were fabulous for running," said Harry. Hermione face palmed. She should never have let him have that coffee. "But now we need something a little more, close fitting."

With little more than a wave of his wand the clothes of the pupils were changed…horribly.

The girls found themselves in crop tops reminiscent of that first fitness lesson, though this time coupled with three quarter bike pants and running shoes.

The men, if possible, faired worse. For some reason Harry had decided that the most appropriate aerobics clothing for the gentlemen, was knee-length bike pants with a leotard over the top.

After they had realised what they were wearing, there were many horrified screams from the guys and much laughter and sexual innuendo from the girls.

Hermione was a little freaked at her boyfriends behaviour this morning, and was swearing to herself that she would never let him have coffee again.

And as for Harry himself, he had resumed his cackling.

Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha

"And bend, and reach, and other side and bend and reach…" Hermione instructed from the front of the class as the stunned and horrified 7th years performed a series of streches and gyrations to the sound of Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls. (did you know that if was the pussycat dolls that did that scene in Charlie's Angels 2?)

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend your secret is safe with me

With incredibly red faces the 7th years followed their teacher's movements.

They did know a hell of a lot about aerobics, but the outfits, especially for the boys were the main source of the humiliation.

As the last cords of the song died from the CD player the 7th years looked to their DADA teachers for reassurance that they would never have to do that again.

Lily met Hermione's eye and she nodded in understanding. Before anyone knew what was going on Harry had collapsed to the ground unconscious.

"I'm sorry about him," apologised 'Mione, putting away her wand. "He gets a bit funny when he has coffee. Let's see what we can do about this."

She waved her wand and the boy's outfits magically rectified themselves. They all sighed in relief.

"Let's try that again," they all looked appalled. "Without him," she laughed.

They followed their DADA teacher's lead to the beats of Madonna, Sean Paul and Britney Spears and a whole other bunch of people they had never heard of, until the bell rang and they literally ran away.

At lunch however, aerobics made it's magnificent return.

Seemingly of their own accord the entire Slytherin table got to their feet and started to perform a rather complex and certainly embarrassing aerobics routine.

Two special people seemed to bear the brunt of the perpetrators attack. Snape was out the front leading his house…dressed in his leotard. While the head of Slytherin house, Professor Walsall was singing, horribly, 'hit me baby one more time' by Britney Spears.

…I must confess I still believe (still believe)
When Im not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time!

Oh baby baby, the reason I breathe is you
Boy youve got me blinded
Oh pretty baby, theres nothin that I wouldnt do
Thats not the way I planned it

Show me how you want it to be
Tell me baby cuz I need to know now, oh because

Chorus

Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know
Oh pretty baby, I shouldnt have let you go
I must confess that my loneliness
Is killin me now
Dont you know I still believe
That you will be here
And give me a sign, hit me baby one more time

Chorus

I must confess (my loneliness) that my loneliness
(is killing me) is killing me now
(I must confess) dont you (I still believe) know I still believe
That you will be here (I lose my mind)
And give me a sign...
Hit me baby one more time!

This was largely fluff that I am not particularly proud of, but I was bored. If anyone has the unexplicable desire to rewrite this for me, I would be eternally grateful.

xoxo b