Stranger Than Fiction

by ImpulsiveWeaver

Steve and Robin are always victims of coincidence, whether it's in Hawkins, Indiana or Gravity Falls, Oregon. And in this case, a mishap with a certain stammering time traveler takes them to a time and a place that has its own share of strange and wondrous things. Set in the summer of 1985 after the events of Stranger Things: Season 3. Rated T for a little bit of swearing.

6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hello again, one and all! Welcome to another thrilling installment to the story! Enjoy and remember that I own nothing!

...

Mabel, as usual, did little to suppress her thousand-watt smile as she looked back and forth from Robin, Steve, and the television. Currently, the three of them were sitting in the living room of the Mystery Shack, and since the attraction was closed for the day, Mabel had eagerly suggested to her two time traveler friends that they be introduced to her favorite crime-solving mystery television show…

"Duck-tective!" came the narrator's serious voice from the television, echoing Mabel's thoughts.

Steve and Robin, to Mabel's initial delight, had been enthralled by the show, but as they continued to watch, Mabel began to suspect that the two older teens were actually more impressed by how realistic and well-defined the picture quality of the television was. Despite the television being super old in Mabel's eyes, it was apparently still quite advanced compared to what Steve and Robin were used to.

"What do you think?" she excitedly asked during the commercial break. "Is that duck a genius or what?"

"It's no Magnum P.I.," Robin began. "But I think I could see myself starting to like it."

"Were those sticks taped to the duck's wings?" Steve asked. "Also, I'm pretty sure that constable guy looked right into the camera, like, five times."

"That's part of the immersion!" Mabel replied. "That way, the audience feels like they're being investigated too!"

Steve did not seem convinced, but he smirked anyway as Mabel continued to eagerly await his verdict of the show.

"It's kind of cheesy, but it's still better than half the stuff we have at Family Video."

Mabel beamed at him in response, simultaneously forcing down the half-blush that rose to her cheeks that sometimes threatened to arise if she looked at Steve too long.

Despite Steve being recently added to her depressingly long list of failed romances, Mabel couldn't help but place him in a category all his own, as Steve was still super nice and didn't make things awkward whenever he and Mabel were in the same room. For that, Mabel had given him "two enthusiastic thumbs-up" stickers on her chart of social awesomeness levels, which was how she kept track of how much of a capacity for suave social smoothness each of her friends possessed (Dipper usually held an "at least you tried" sticker). Steve's ability to smooth out any rough patches between him and Mabel before they even formed was definitely welcome, but it had the downside of not helping Mabel let go of the last vestiges of her dumb old crush on him that still remained.

As a result, Mabel could only look at Steve for so long before her face would start burning up, and she likened it to staring at the Sun too long in that regard. That is, if the Sun was tall, and athletic, and had absolutely amazing hair…

Mabel momentarily scrunched her face up to dispel those thoughts, and it was that moment that Dipper chose to run into the living room, his face flushed with excitement.

"You guys! There was a break-in at the radio station! Toby Determined just called me!"

"Uh oh," Mabel said with a twinge of humor. "I hope they didn't steal his entire collection of plaid suspenders!"

"We have to investigate while the scene is still fresh!" Dipper said. "Steve, can you drive us into town? Please?"

"Kinda sounds like something you leave to the cops, Pines," Steve said with a raised eyebrow. Neither he nor Robin made to get up from their seated positions on the floor. "Even with two stellar geniuses like Blubs and Durland."

"Normally, I'd agree," Dipper said, animatedly placing his hands together and nodding his head. "But Toby very specifically asked for me to come as soon as possible."

From where she was seated next to Steve, Robin raised an eyebrow.

"Why would this 'Toby' guy do that?" she asked skeptically. "Does he think you did it?"

Mabel had already known exactly why once Dipper mentioned that Toby had called him personally, and she bounded up from her own seated position.

"I know why!" she yelled. "It's because 'Sir Dippingsauce' just so happens to be the number one weirdness expert in Gravity Falls! And if Toby Determined is asking for him specifically, then that means something freaky-deaky is going on!"

Dipper gratefully agreed with his twin, then held up his hand in a high-five gesture.

"Couldn't have said it better myself. Though of course, I won't be much good out there without 'Lady Mabelton' to back me up," he said.

"How about it? Mystery Twins?"

"Mystery Twins!" Mabel agreed with a laugh, returning the high-five with a satisfying slap.

"And what say you…uh…"

Dipper paused for a moment and held his chin in thought as he looked at Steve and Robin contemplatively for a moment.

"Chief Stevecurds and…Professor Robinhood?"

Both Steve and Robin's faces scrunched up in obvious disdain for the nicknames Dipper had chosen for them, and Mabel gave him a consoling pat on the shoulder.

"It was a good try, Bro-Bro," she said. "But you might wanna just leave the nicknames to me from now on."

"Agreed," Steve said, getting up from where he sat on the floor.

"So, is that a 'yes' to driving us into town?" Dipper asked hopefully, his smile betraying his nervousness that he may have blown his opportunity.

Steve and Robin looked at each other for a moment, seemingly talking to each other without saying anything. Mabel noticed that they would do that sometimes.

"It's a yes," Robin finally confirmed with a nod. "Under the condition that you never try to give us nicknames again."

…

Dipper felt his anticipation grow even further as the four of them approached the Gravity Falls local radio station, formerly the headquarters of the town's incredibly unpopular newspaper: The Gravity Falls Gossiper. Whatever had broken into the building had obviously riled Toby Determined up to extreme proportions, meaning that it was likely something strange or weird that would definitely deserve an entry in Dipper's ever-expanding research of the anomalies of the town. The young teenager was already beginning to organize and reorganize the notes he had yet to take on whatever grandiose thing that he would discover today, and he had already packed at least five newly-sharpened pencils in his backpack alongside his usual research kit just to make sure he was absolutely ready.

"Okay," Dipper said, coming to a stop at the front door of the otherwise unassuming building. He turned to address the group, though his next question was asked to Robin and Steve directly.

"You guys haven't met Toby yet, right?"

Both of the older teens shook their heads.

"I think we might've heard him on the radio when we first got here…" Robin said, frowning in remembrance. "But there were a few more pressing concerns on our minds at that point."

Mabel gave a humored laugh.

"Oh man, are you two in for a treat, then! You're about to meet the only person that can rival Dipper in his ability to saturate the air with awkwardness!"

"What she means to say…" Dipper interrupted annoyedly. "...is that Toby can be a bit…unorthodox, if I were to choose a word."

"Yeah," Steve said, rolling his eyes as he did so. "Not exactly shocking. Seems like everybody in this town is a tad strange."

"I'm inclined to agree," Robin agreed with a nod before noticing something a little ways down the sidewalk from them.

"Uh, except for maybe that guy."

Dipper followed Robin's line of sight to see none other than Tad Strange walking towards them, the man's ever-plain appearance in full display as he sported a very unexciting wardrobe of a white button-down shirt and dark gray pants. A black tie was tied rather simply around his collar, and Dipper could see an equally black tie clip holding it firmly against Tad's midsection as he strolled towards them with a very mundane gait.

"Hello there," Tad said with a textbook wave and smile as he walked past the four of them. "Wonderful weather we're having today!"

"Tad, with you around, every day is wonderful!" Mabel replied immediately, giving Tad two finger guns and a wink as the man returned to his unembellished walk.

"Nevermind," Robin said once Tad was out of earshot. "That guy's weird too. Nobody is that normal."

"Believe it or not, he actually grows on you," Dipper said as the four of them continued to watch Tad's ordinary form turn the corner and disappear from sight. "Everyone thought he was a square at first, but he actually is just a regular old person."

"Is the word 'square' popular again in 2013?" Steve said with a raised eyebrow. "Not even my parents use it any more in 1985."

Steve's question went unanswered as the door to the radio station then swung open rather suddenly, causing the four of them to jump back in surprise. From within the doorway, the squat and visually uncanny form of Toby Determined emerged, his large eyes wide and his distasteful mustache turned upward with giddiness.

"You've come at last!" the short man said with glee, his voice in the same nasally tone that it always was. "Come in! I just finished my morning radio broadcast!"

Dipper didn't even get a word in before Toby grabbed his arm with both hands and pulled him inside, leaving Mabel, Robin, and Steve struggling to catch up. As Dipper was rushed into the one room that constituted the radio station, he noticed that Toby's sense of interior design had changed quite a bit since Dipper had last been here, the time being when he and Mabel had accused Toby of murdering a wax figure of Stan's likeness. Now, instead of multiple papers concerning stories and leads adorning the walls, Toby had seen fit to hang up posters of numerous bands and musical performers, evidencing his transformation from the owner of an abysmal newspaper to a slightly less abysmal radio show. The most noticeable of changes came in the form of a sound booth in the corner of the room, likely where Toby conducted his daily broadcasts.

"Thank my lucky stars you could come on such short notice, Dipper!" Toby said enthusiastically, finally releasing his hold on Dipper's arm and stepping back. "A mystery such as this carries only the highest importance, and it must be investigated at once!"

"Evidently…" Dipper mumbled, rubbing his arm where Toby had grabbed him just moments before. "Alright, what happened, Toby? What's this 'supernatural break-in' you called me about?"

"Behold!" Toby exclaimed, sweeping his arm to gesture to the back of the room. Looking upward, Dipper noticed that the building's only window, which was situated opposite the front door they had just come through, had been shattered, with multiple pieces of glass laying strewn about the carpet of Toby's radio station.

"When I locked up last night, everything was in order!" Toby exclaimed. "But gobbling goose feathers! When I came in this morning, the window was shattered, and almost all of my historical stash of the Gravity Falls Gossiper was missing!"

"Your historical stash of what?" Robin asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just his hoard of previous issues of his own failing newspaper," Mabel explained. "So, nothing really of value."

"Now, wait just a minute!" Toby interjected indignantly. "Those issues are rich with town history! They may have been worth something one day!"

As he spoke, Toby opened a door to a closet filled with old newspapers and other memorabilia stacked high along the walls. Dipper noticed that many were missing, and that much of the collection seemed to have been rummaged through and left in disarray.

"Each issue documents only the most prevalent of events that occurred in the town that day!" Toby explained, putting his hands on his hips. "Who knows what kind of use they might have in the years to come!"

"Yeah, as kindling maybe…" Steve said as he skeptically examined the headline of one of the newspapers strewn about.

"Manly Dan in Love With His Own Axe?" the older teen read aloud. "Isn't there way more interesting stuff that goes on in this town, like, daily?"

"Oh, never mind all that!" Toby said, suddenly nervous like he was trying to hide the supernatural nature of the town all by himself. Dipper sighed heavily and rolled his eyes at the sight.

"Toby, don't bother with that 'Never Mind All That' stuff right now. These guys know about all of it already, and you called me here specifically because there's something weird going on, right? So, can we quit skirting around the issue, please?"

"Sorry," Toby replied, suddenly sheepish. "It's a force of habit!"

Toby then went over to a television and pulled a video cassette from his pocket. Taking a minute to ensure it was oriented properly, the squat little man fed the cassette into a VCR mounted atop a television set located against the wall.

"I brought you here because of the footage I captured of the break-in," Toby explained as he began rewinding the tape. "Normally I'd go to the police about such things, but, well…"

The man seemed to reach the point in the tape he was looking for, and he quickly pressed the play button to stop the rewind. There was a burst of static on the screen, then the footage began to roll normally, showcasing a video recording of the very room they were in, only twelve hours prior.

"It happened at midnight exactly," Toby said cryptically, his statement matching up with the time stamp that could be seen at the bottom of the television screen.

For a few seconds, nothing happened as the film continued to roll. Nothing stirred from the dark screen that they could see, as the lights in the room were all extinguished. Dipper's eyes widened suddenly as the window on the playback shattered, and through the now open portal, numerous tiny shapes appeared, each one scuttling through the empty window and into the room, all of them spreading out as if they were searching for something specific.

"What the hell…?" Robin said from beside him, her thoughts echoing his own.

Whatever those shapes were that were moving about the room on the screen, they most certainly weren't human, and from the looks of it, they weren't your typical forest creature either. The lighting was too dark to make out any specific details, but Dipper knew that there was something off about them. The most obvious trait was that they were relatively small in stature. Each one only appeared to be the size of a large dinner plate, and their small forms moved low and close to the ground, not rising to a very tall stature at all.

The shapes continued to scuttle about recklessly on the screen until one of them managed to open the closet that held Toby's collection of Gravity Falls Gossipers, and with a sharp hiss, all of the creatures then converged on the closet, each one grabbing as many copies of the newspaper as they could carry before hurrying back out of the window and out of sight. It seemed as though they would have liked to take more with them, but the smaller size of the creatures compared to the cargo they were hauling out made it so that much of the stash had to be left behind. It was a fact that the creatures seemed relatively displeased by.

Once the last of the shapes had exited, the room on the television fell still once again, and it was there that Toby paused the recording.

"I don't know who else to turn to," he said. The Gravity Falls police won't go anywhere near a case like this, and I desperately need my copies of the Gossiper back!"

Dipper barely heard Toby, as his mind was awhirl with possibilities of what these creatures might be. His overeager mind could tell based on the shape alone that these weren't creatures that had been documented in any of the journals before, and that whatever they were dealing with was something new and undocumented.

Glancing over to Mabel, Dipper met his twin's gaze and gave a subtle nod with his head, which she returned with an enthusiastic and brace-filled grin.

"Toby Determined, we are on the case!" Dipper said enthusiastically, raising his hand and striking a pose as if to drive home his point.

"Yeah!" Mabel added, striking her own pose. "We'll find your mediocre newspapers and bring the creepy crawlies that took them to justice!"

"...uh…yeah…" Robin said in a less than enthusiastic tone, raising her fist hesitantly in agreement.

"What they said…" Steve added, his own tone just as lackluster as Robin's.

"Oh, bless you!" Toby said, clasping his hands together in a reverent gesture to the four of them. "Bless you all! You do this for me, and I'll give you all shoutouts and your own song on tomorrow's radio program!"

"Golly, what a deal," Robin mumbled with a roll of her eyes. "Facing an unknown species of potentially deadly creatures all to have my own choice of song played on tomorrow's broadcast…"

Steve pretended to cough to hide his humor at Robin's response, but Dipper's mind was already racing at a mile a minute, thinking about what all they would need for their investigation.

"Let's see…" he began mumbling to himself. "...we'll need supplies. I'm thinking rope, cameras, hooks, nets…"

…

Steve watched bemusedly as Dipper began to mumble to himself regarding the details of their new investigation. It was almost like clockwork for the kid to fall into his own rhythm of checking and double-checking everything that went into his adventures, and while Mabel strolled over to her twin to join him in his brainstorming, Steve was more than content to lean against the wall until they were finished. Robin caught on and followed suit, leaning comfortably next to him.

"How long do you think it's gonna take him to get his initial supply list sorted out?" Steve asked with a snort.

"I'd normally say ten to fifteen minutes," Robin replied with a shrug. "But with Mabel to keep him on track, she might be able to bring it down to seven, maybe six at the absolute minimum."

Steve smirked and looked around the radio station, taking note of all the posters of bands that were framed and hung up on the walls of the room. Most of them, as he'd expected, were artists and groups that were foreign to him, but to his surprise, he found that quite a few were of artists that were very popular or up and coming in the '80s.

"Blondie…Billy Ocean…Lionel Richie…" Steve read aloud from some of the posters. "Gotta say, Robin, seems like music from our time is holding up pretty well in the future."

Robin followed his gaze and then gave a smirk of her own. "That's not exactly comforting. It makes it seem like music in general starts going downhill after the '80s. Not exactly something to look forward to when we get back."

Robin's tone had an unexpected bite to it, but Steve got the feeling that it wasn't necessarily directed at him. He raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to inquire, but Toby interrupted in the next moment.

"Depending on who you ask nowadays, some would definitely agree that the world of music fell into a downward spiral after the 1980s!" he eagerly interjected, seemingly giddy just to be a part of the conversation. "The use of electronics gave a one-of-a-kind feel to the music that really resonates with both younger and older audiences, and many would argue that the genres of pop and rock all began to devolve into lesser versions of themselves as time went on!"

The awkward man seemed not to hear anything regarding Steve and Robin's status as time travelers, or perhaps he didn't care, though Steve supposed that both were equally likely.

"I wouldn't know," Robin said with a half-smile, dropping her previously bitter tone for a more prankish approach as she gave Steve a knowing look from the corner of her eye. "We really only listen to the classics where we're from."

"Yeah, not a lot of stuff from this century…" Steve said, playing along with a smile of his own.

"Ah, those were the days…" Toby said, a nostalgic smile forming on his face as he strolled back over to the closet and began sifting through what few copies of the Gossiper remained. "It's a shame you kids are too young to have lived in that time period. Just by looking at how you two dress, I'd say you'd fit right in!"

"Totally," Robin said with a roll of her eyes, and Steve had to fake a cough to keep himself from laughing out loud.

"Fiddlesticks!" Toby then said with a stamp of his foot. "They took almost all of my old newspapers! Curse you, ambiguous Gossiper thieves!"

Toby looked to the ceiling and shook his fist in a show of his emotion. While Steve was content to let the little man continue wallowing in his lack of tabloids, Robin suddenly craned her neck and frowned at something she saw in the closet.

"Hey uh, Toby, what's the date on that one right there?"

"Huh?" Toby asked, following Robin's gaze to one copy of the Gossiper that was sitting high atop a stack almost as tall as Toby himself. "Let's see now…"

Plucking the newspaper from the top of the pile, Toby straightened his glasses and read the date aloud.

"November 7th, 1983…Oh, I remember this one! That was the morning after a widespread blackout swept through most of the state."

For some reason, Toby had seen fit to make the headline about the rising popularity of mullets rather than the blackout itself, but Robin chose to ignore that fact for now.

"A blackout?" Robin asked, her face portraying that she was already deep in thought. Steve could also detect some kind of apprehension in her voice as well.

"Yep, we'd had a few before, but they only happened in the town specifically. Nothing quite like this one!"

Robin gave a nervous laugh.

"And…they stopped completely after this one?"

"I think so…" Toby said, scratching his head thoughtfully. "You're more than welcome to look through the rest when you find them, but why such an interest in this particular date?"

"Oh…you know…just a history buff!" Robin said in an entirely unconvincing tone.

"Really?" Toby said, perking up. "Well if that's the case, then I'd be glad to give you a complete history course of this town's rich background once you find my Gossipers! Make sure you have the next three days cleared on your calendar!"

A look of horror appeared on Robin's face upon realizing what she'd done, and while she struggled and sputtered, something else in the closet caught Steve's attention. Standing up from his leaning position, Steve approached the closet and looked closer.

There, laying among what appeared to be spiked chokers, bracelets, fishnet arm sleeves, multiple metal piercings, and…was that a skull?

Steve's face contorted into an uncomfortable expression as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. It looked like a goth's dream wardrobe, and how a guy like Toby Determined came into possession of such items was beyond Steve's understanding. There's no way the awkward man actually wore any of this stuff, right?

Steve shuddered and quickly banished the mental image from his mind, turning his attention back to the item that had drawn his attention in the first place. There, laying among the blackened clothing and emo paraphernalia, was a wooden baseball bat with nails protruding in every direction from the head.

It was almost exactly like the one Steve kept in the trunk of his BMW back in 1983, and with the thought of facing numerous unknown forest creatures fresh on his mind, Steve felt like he'd be an idiot for not going in armed.

"Hey uh, what's this?" Steve asked out loud, prompting Toby to pause in his listing off of items that Robin would need to take proper notes during his history course. The two of them turned towards him, with Robin mouthing a silent 'thank you' for pulling her from the depths of their previous conversation.

"Oh, that!" Toby said with a dismissive shake of his hand. "That's just some memorabilia from my 'Bodacious T' days. Great googly-moogly, what a time that was…"

Steve's expression formed into that of genuine discomfort as his worst fears about the clothing in the closet were confirmed, and Robin had a similar reaction upon seeing the clothing herself.

"Definitely glad that he's not around anymore!" came Mabel's voice as her and Dipper finished up their own side conversation. "On behalf of everyone ever, let me thank you for putting him down, Toby!"

"It had to be done," Toby said with a nod, his face suddenly serious. "After Shandra Jimenez and I broke up, I realized that I just wasn't being true to myself. Bodacious T will always be a part of me, but he's not all of me. And for now, he will stay locked deep inside of me: a beast waiting to be let out if the need ever arises."

"Uh…yeah…" Steve said, more than eager to switch topics. "So, I'm thinking these things that took your newspapers might not be so keen on giving it back. Is it cool if I borrow your 'accessory' in case they give us trouble?"

"Oh, go right ahead!" Toby said, suddenly switching off his serious demeanor. "It was originally part of my debut project as a sportscaster for the Gravity Falls news channel, but it turns out that trying to start a professional deathball league comes with a lot of legal obstacles, so I really don't have much of a use for that anymore."

With the confirmation, Steve hefted the bat into his hand, the weight immediately familiar and comforting as he gave it an experimental flip to feel it out.

"Wow!" Mabel said, her eyes shining at the sight of Steve with the weapon. "You look like a hero from some kind of action TV show!"

Steve gave a nonchalant shrug and rested the bat comfortably on his shoulder before looking over and offering a smirk to Robin.

"What do you think, Rob? Feel a little better knowing I got my trusty bat back?"

"I think I'd prefer it if you had a gun," she replied, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrow at him. "But apparently to Dustin Henderson you are 'The Second Coming of the Babe' with that thing, so I guess it will have to do."

Robin made air quotes with her hands when she spoke about Dustin, causing Steve to feel a slight warmth in his chest that Dustin thought of him that way. Thinking about that little nerd now suddenly came with a pang of guilt as Steve remembered that the last time they had spoken had not ended on the most pleasant of terms, and even though Blendin had promised to return them to only a few moments after they left once they returned to 1985, that didn't keep Steve from feeling the guilt grow ever-steadily each day he spent without making things right with the kid.

Deciding that now was not the time, Steve pushed that thought to the back of his mind and turned as Dipper spoke up.

"Alright then," the younger teen said resolutely. "Thanks to Mabel's ever-expanding imagination and my critical planning skills, we've come up with a plan to find the culprits behind Toby's newspaper thieves and bring them to justice!"

…

All of them listened intently as Dipper laid out the plan in full, which was built around the extreme likelihood that the smaller creatures would return to the scene of the crime in order to steal the remainder of Toby's collection that they'd been unable to get away with the night before. If they could be reasoned with, then they might be able to work out a deal with the creatures, and get back all of the stolen copies of the Gossiper.

"And if they can't be reasoned with…?" Robin asked skeptically.

"Then we force them to be reasoned with…using stickers!" Mabel said, pulling out one of her many sticker books that she always seemed to have on her person at all times.

Robin's look of incredulousness was short-lived thankfully, as Dipper took the next moment to give her a far better answer.

"If we can't, then we attach a tracker onto them and follow it back to wherever their lair is, just like we did with the dyna-mice. Once we have a definitive location, then we can move forward from there."

It hadn't sounded like that bad of a plan up until that point, but Robin was at least comfortable enough with the first part to go along with it.

As cool as she tried to play it before, she was actually really happy that Steve at least had a weapon now that they could defend themselves with. She'd never admit it to his face, of course, as the last thing she'd ever want to do was stroke his ego. She'd never hear the end of it.

Robin certainly hadn't been lying when she'd said that she preferred a gun versus a baseball bat with nails in it, but she'd heard from almost a dozen sources that Steve was apparently a whiz with that thing. She'd even overheard Jonathon Byers of all people talk about Steve's skill with the bat. From the way Steve had described his whole love triangle debacle with him, Jonathan, and Nancy Wheeler back in 1983, Robin could guess that the two boys still possessed some small amount of bad blood between them even though they appeared to be on relatively good terms. Either way, to hear Jonathon speak highly of anything the former King of Hawkins High had to offer meant that it was likely rooted in fact.

Bottom line, if there was anyone in their group that would be best equipped with that thing, it was Steve Harrington.

"Ok," Steve said, nodding slowly in response to Dipper's plan. "But we have no idea when they're going to come back. We don't even know if they're coming back at all."

"Based on what experiences we've had with anomalous creatures from around here before," Dipper began, reaching into a backpack he had brought with him and pulling out his journal. "We can accurately guess that they'll be back soon, since it's obvious that they need the newspapers for something, and they didn't bother to take any other newspapers from around town that weren't the Gravity Falls Gossiper. It's also obvious that they don't want to be seen, so we can accurately guess that they might be back as early as tonight!"

"Under the cover of darkness…" Mabel emphasized with a mock-cryptic tone. "All we gotta do is lay out the bait, which we still have plenty of since nobody reads your newspaper, Toby, set the trap, and boom! Mystery solved!"

Robin saw Steve glance over at her out of the corner of her eye, and she met his gaze for a brief moment. Since the two of them had come to the conclusion that they were now unwillingly wrapped up in all the crazy shit that happened in Gravity Falls, they had always made sure to conduct one final check with each other before they got involved with another adventure. It was one absolutely last question that they asked each other before they went all in.

Steve, of course, would always be a part of anything dangerous involving the Pines Twins, so he definitely was in for sure on this. And now Robin watched his eyes for a moment before giving a small nod of her head, utilizing "Silent Steve-talk" to let him know that she was all in as well. There was no turning back at this point.

"Ok then," Steve said, still resting his newfound yet very familiar weapon on his shoulder. "Sounds like our next step is actually setting the trap. Pines, I seriously hope your plan isn't to run headfirst at them with a hamster cage like last time."

"Don't you worry, Steve-town!" Mabel said. "Luckily for us, we've got the finest trapper this side of the Mississippi River on speed dial!"

…

Robin watched interestedly as Wendy placed the finishing touches on her work, trying her best not to stare too much at the redhead while she fiddled with the trap.

"Thanks again for the help, Wendy!" Mabel said from where she sat across the room, entertaining herself by spinning continuously around in the swivel chair that Toby sat in during his broadcasts.

"No problem, dude," Wendy said nonchalantly. "I figured you were out trying to solve some new mystery or something like that when you texted me, so I came over as quick as I could."

"Sure you can't stick around?" Steve said from where he was helping Dipper prepare the remainder of Toby's Gossiper issues for their bait. "I think some of us would feel a lot better if you were here when these things come back."

Steve raised his eyebrow slyly at Robin as he spoke, and she combated the rising blush in her cheeks by gritting her teeth and giving Steve a death glare that no one else could see. It had been only yesterday that she'd shared with Steve her realization regarding Wendy and her possible preferences, and Steve, to no surprise at all, had been incredibly supportive. The fact that an amazing girl like Wendy had even the slightest potential to be interested in Robin was amazing enough without the fact that it wouldn't be looked upon with disgust in a town like this, and despite the fact that Robin was technically old enough to be Wendy's grandmother, there still existed that enduring sense of freedom that came with all of it.

The only downside to it all, apart from the fact that anything even remotely close to a relationship between Wendy and Robin would be next to impossible due to…well…everything, was the fact that Steve still found the time to tease her about it. And given the fact that Robin already was not the best at concealing her emotions, having Steve in the same room as her anytime Wendy was around was going to be a nightmare.

The two Hawkins teens had not yet been given the chance to discuss the matter in depth, and when they did, Robin was going to make Steve swear under the threat of strangling him in his sleep that he would keep his mouth shut about this. Of that, she would make damn sure.

"Trust me, dude," Wendy said, not noticing Steve's teasing or Robin's flustered and mildly enraged expression. "If I could, I would be here with you guys in a heartbeat, but I promised Tambry that I'd go with her into the city tonight to get a new phone. Thompson accidentally ran over her old one this morning, and she is going through some serious withdrawal."

"Glad to say I don't know the feeling," Steve replied with a frown. "These mobile phones that you guys have in the future sound great and all, but from what I've seen of Tambry so far, it looks like that's almost the only thing she pays attention to."

"Part of the reason why I still use an older version, dude," Wendy replied with a nod. "Hard to get addicted to your phone if it doesn't do anything but call and text."

"Might have to disagree with you there, Red," Robin said, sharing a glance with Steve. "There's a few moms in Hawkins that could give Tambrey a run for her money, even in 1985."

Steve smiled back and nodded in agreement.

"I heard one time that Mrs. Wheeler had a phone call with one of her friends that lasted from sunup to sundown over their home phone, stopped to sleep, then continued the conversation the next morning for another two hours."

Steve shook his head at the memory.

"Knowing her, I honestly believe it."

Robin smirked, remembering how close Steve was with the Wheeler family.

"I'm sure Mike was pissed when he regaled you with that tale."

"Nah," Steve said, still laughing at the memory. "Nance told me…"

Steve's face fell ever so slightly then, and even though Robin was no expert at reading emotions, she knew Steve well enough to tell that the subject of Nancy Wheeler was still a tender subject for him. Despite him seemingly moving on from his breakup with her, Robin could tell that he had really cared for Nancy, and since the two of them had split, Steve had yet to find another serious relationship. That, as Robin knew all too well, was certainly not due to a lack of trying on Steve's part, as the older teen had spent just as much time flirting with customers at Scoops Ahoy as he did slinging ice cream. Such habits had transferred over to his time at Family Video, and even though Steve still struck out quite a few times, he had actually managed to score a few dates with some of the female customers, likely due to the fact that he no longer had to wear a skimpy sailor outfit as his work uniform.

Keith, their manager, had expressed no small amount of jealousy in the form of annoyance at Steve's success with women, and if Robin was being honest, she felt a small twinge of jealousy as well each time Steve managed to get another girl's phone number. Unfortunately for Steve, none of his potential romance partners had lasted beyond a few dates, leaving him without a long-term relationship to properly move on from his time with Nancy Wheeler.

If Robin was being honest, she seriously doubted any girl would ever top Steve's relationship with Nancy, as there were no other datable girls that shared in his experience of fighting supernatural beings and monsters from a parallel dimension. With all that on the table, Nancy Wheeler became almost an impossible act to follow.

Still, Robin had to give Steve credit for his perseverance, as he handled each of his failed romances with a grace and resilience that Robin most certainly did not possess, mostly thanks to her lack of experience.

Robin realized she had become lost in her own thoughts, and she quickly brought herself back to the present and listened intently in order to rejoin the conversation.

"Does Tambry even sleep?" Mabel asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I've woken up to no less than five status updates from her spaced evenly throughout the night before."

"Pretty sure she sets alarms just to wake up and post them," Wendy said with a chuckle. "That's the textbook definition of dedication if I've ever seen it."

The conversation trailed off for a few moments, then Wendy stood up and clapped her hands in a conclusive gesture.

"Alright," she said proudly. "Trap is set, homies. Make sure to send me a pic of what these little guys look like when you catch 'em."

"Will do!" Mabel said, reaching down into her own personal backpack and pulling out her trusty Polariod camera.

"Thanks again for the help, Wendy," Dipper said with a grateful smile as he and Steve stood up from their own work. "I don't know what we'd do without you."

"Hopefully you'll never have to find out," Wendy said, exchanging a fist bump with the two boys before turning to Robin.

"Watch after my boys, will ya Rob?" she said, offering her fist out just as she had previously with Steve and Dipper. "Keep 'em outta trouble."

"You know that's not possible," Robin said back, mirroring Wendy's demeanor and returning the fist bump. "But I'll do my best."

"Good enough," Wendy said, giving Robin a light smack on her shoulder. "I'll see you guys when I get back! Don't have too much fun without me!"

With that, Wendy gathered up her own bag and exited the building, though Robin could still feel a small amount of residual warmth on her shoulder from her touch a few moments before.

"Ok," Dipper said eagerly. "Now all we have to do is carefully place our bait."

Already briefed about the plan, the four of them then set about the task of placing copies of the Gossiper above Wendy's constructed trap, ensuring that when the creatures came back, they would be drawn to the newspapers like flies to honey. Once the bait had been carefully placed, the four of them then turned out the lights and hurried into the sound booth, which would act as their hiding spot until they had managed to capture their prey.

The booth thankfully had a window that looked out into the main room, so they had front row seats to whatever came next. Additionally, the booth itself was soundproof, so they could talk in slightly hushed tones without fear of being heard from whoever might be outside.

"Alright, Pines," Steve said, shrugging off his own backpack of supplies as he did so, and Robin could see his newly acquired bat poking out of the main pocket. "How long do you think we have to wait until these things come back?"

"Well, the sun just set," Dipper said, looking at his watch as he did so. "It's about 9:30 right now, and Toby said the creatures came at midnight exactly last night, so it might be almost two and a half hours…"

"Greeeeat," Steve said with no small amount of sarcasm, taking a seated position on the floor with his back leaned up against the wall so that he was facing the door and the window. "Guess we've got some time to kill then."

In truth, all of them had been anticipating the long wait, and Robin looked over to see Dipper pull out his journal and began taking notes. Mabel took a seat next to him and fished her knitting supplies from her own backpack, already halfway through knitting another one of those sweaters of hers.

Robin watched them as they settled in, then turned back to Steve, who sat quietly for a few moments, then he reached into his pocket and fished out a lighter, more specifically a Zippo that he had packed in his suitcase before they'd left 1985. Staring at it for a few moments, Steve then chuckled to himself as if in memory and then began a rhythmic pattern of flipping the lighter open, flicking the light on, then flipping it shut with a practiced motion of his wrist. The light was faint enough that it wouldn't attract attention from outside the booth, but still comforting since their only other source of light came from the moon shining through the window outside the building.

Robin herself had brought along her Walkman as well as a bunch of language tapes that she'd originally packed in her suitcase. Thanks to their time spent with the Soviets, Robin had picked up Russian as her next language to learn, and now her bag was stuffed with cassettes teaching her the relatively distant language, and though she was eager to continue her progress with them, she instead plopped down next to Steve, watching as he opened, lit, and shut the lighter in a continuous cycle.

"Call me crazy," she said at last. "But I'm getting the vibe that this is somewhat familiar to you."

Steve gave a nod, his eyes still on the lighter in his hand.

"Remember when I told you about that time Dustin adopted one of those little 'demo-dog' things?"

Robin frowned a bit, but nodded.

"Yeah…1984, right? When you first found out about the Mind Flayer?"

"Yep. Well, after 'Dirt Canyon', or whatever the hell its name was, grew big enough and escaped, Dustin dragged me along to help him track it down. We set a trap kinda like this, only we were trying to kill the damn thing instead of capture it."

"Almost makes me jealous that you've done this before," Robin said, finally acknowledging her own nervousness at the whole situation. "You've been dealing with this supernatural-weird- monster stuff for almost two years longer than I have, and the twins over there have been at it for at least one. Kinda still don't know what I'm doing…"

"You don't really ever get the hang of it, Rob," Steve replied with a shake of his head. "This isn't something you can just practice and get good at like…I dunno…basketball or something. Trust me when I say we're all in the same boat here."

Steve's advice, as usual, was not what one would ever consider Shakespearean, but he did have a knack for getting his point across using a minimal amount of syllables, and in that regard, Robin envied him.

"Besides," he added, the lighter clicking on and off in his hand. "I'd say you saw the worst of it with the giant monster made of human flesh and all. That shit definitely topped the last two times. Especially the part with the fireworks."

Robin, despite the terror she had felt on the night they had their final showdown with the Mind Flayer, laughed at the memory.

"Oh lovely. That means it can't get any worse then, right?"

"Bingo."

Robin reached out and lightly rapped her knuckles on the wooden table in the center of the booth, warding off the possibility of jinxing herself with her last statement. It was then that she noticed a drawer attached on the underside of the table itself, and with her curiosity ignited, Robin opened the drawer and was genuinely surprised by what she saw.

"Holy shit," she said, pulling out a small cassette tape with a date scribbled across it and showing it to Steve. "This guy keeps cassettes of all of his radio shows?"

"Wow," Steve said with a chuckle. "And here I was worried that we'd never catch up to all these new fancy gadgets they have here in the future. I figured VCRs and cassette tapes would have been obsolete by now."

"They definitely are," Dipper said across from them, his eyes not leaving his journal as he continued to pen down notes. "Toby is just three whole decades behind the times for some reason. Even CD's are rarely seen anymore!"

Both Steve and Robin stared blankly back at him, neither of them knowing what these so-called "See-Dees" were.

"What my Bro-Bro means is…" Mabel started, smiling good-naturedly at them and noticing that Dipper had lost them. "...is that the thing that replaced tapes like that are also already replaced, making Toby Determined twice the geezer because of it."

"Wow," Steve said again. "Nevermind about the 'catching up' part then…"

Looking down at the tape in her hands, Robin decided that even though she was likely going to regret this, Russian could wait for now. Her curiosity to see if Toby's radio show was just as bad as his failing tabloid newspaper got the better of her, and with a quick swap of the Russian tape that was already loaded into her Walkman, Robin popped the cassette with Toby's show on it and pressed "Play".

Immediately, her ears were "serenaded" with Toby's high-pitched nasal voice, the nature of the tape providing a filter that slightly altered the audio she was hearing.

"Good morning and welcome to a special broadcast of GFR 98.6, The Axe! I'm your host, Toby Determined, and today, we have none other than self-made millionaire and master of the spoon instrument: Fiddleford H. McGucket!"

"It's an honor to be here!" came a frazzled and maniacal voice that Robin assumed belonged to this McGucket guy. She recalled Wendy's brief history about him living in the junkyard before moving into a mansion just out of town, but her brow furrowed as the sound of his voice rang a small bell in the back of her mind. It felt as though she'd heard it somewhere before, but she couldn't place her finger on it…

"You done picked the perfect time to have me on the show, Toby!" McGucket's voice continued. "The badger family what lives in my beard just gave birth to triplets!"

There was a faint chattering of an animal or three on the tape, and Robin heard Toby give a nervous gulp into his microphone.

"Uh…those little guys are domesticated, right?"

"Well, of course! They may still be young 'uns, but I've already got 'em doin' chores 'round my domicile! They don't bite 'lessin you smell like bacon…or rash cream!"

Toby's nervousness seemed to mount even further at that last statement.

"Y-yes, well, let's make this quick, then. As you know Mr. McGucket, this town holds you in high esteem. Your story of success is an inspiration to many! Tell us how it feels!"

"Well, to start, I best be clearin' the record and sayin' that my story ain't one of them 'rags-to-riches' type ones. No sir, instead, my story is more of a 'rags-to-rags-what-smell-like-thousand-dollar-cologne' story, which is important to be discernin' when gettin' my progress straight!"

"I see. And how about your new home: the former Northwest Mansion. Legend has it that it took nearly half a forest to finally build it, and now you call that place your own!"

"Oh you best believe it's got its perks! The acoustics are perfect for my hourly hootenanny…!"

Robin was beginning to get a feel for how unhinged this guy was as the interview continued, and she paused and skipped forward on the tape a little bit to see if the whole recording held more of the same.

"...but tell us, McGucket, is there a special someone in your life? Someone that you feel like you can grow old–or, older with, I suppose?"

"If'n I'm bein' honest, I took it pretty hard when my racoon wife left me, and since then, I ain't really been able to git back up in the saddle. I will say this, though, now that I got me a big ol' mansion on the hill, I imagine it's only a matter of time 'till that salt-lickin', hornswagglin', dadburnin' tramp comes crawlin' back to me. And when she does, I'm gonna kick her ringed tail to the curb! That's what she gets for bein' a no good, cow-handed, gasbaggin'..."

The next fifteen seconds of the tape were filled with nonstop insults from McGucket, and Robin understood next to none of them. It was at this point that she decided that she'd heard enough of Toby's radio show to last her the rest of her life, so she paused the tape and decided it was time to switch to Russian. Her hands immediately froze as a loud noise suddenly came from outside the booth, and a quick glance to Steve, Mabel, and Dipper immediately confirmed that they had heard it as well.

Quickly, but still quietly, the four of them shuffled to the window that separated the booth from the main room, each of them peeking over the sill so that they could see what was going on while still keeping out of sight.

There, shadowed ominously by the moonlight that shone through the broken window, small shapes began to climb through. Robin immediately recognized them as the same size and shape as the creatures they'd seen on the footage of the first break in, meaning that Dipper and Mabel's hunch had been correct. The culprits had returned to the scene of the crime.

Robin also squinted when she noticed that there were far less of them this time, with only maybe five or so of the small plate-sized creatures squeezing through the window frame. As they entered the building, Robin saw them take notice of the pile of remaining Gossiper issues laying in the center in the room, and though she couldn't make out any specific details, she saw one of the small shapes grab the attention of the others and point towards the pile with a small claw-like appendage.

From next to her, Robin heard Dipper make a small noise of encouragement as the creatures approached the stack, seemingly not at all aware of the trap that had been set.

"Just a little further…" the male Pines twin whispered excitedly.

As it turned out, Mabel had not been lying when she'd said that Wendy was the best trapper around, as the mechanism she had laid out worked like a charm when the trap sprung at last.

There was a loud swishing noise, then a large net sprang up from where it had been hidden on the floor, sweeping up all of the creatures in one fell swoop and suspending them high in the air.

"Yes!" Dipper called triumphantly, both he and Mabel already rushing from the booth and out into the main room. Robin quickly followed them through with Steve close on her heels. Once outside the booth, Robin blinked for a few seconds as Dipper turned on the lights, the sudden change in vibrance causing her momentary blindness until her eyes adjusted.

Once her vision had refocused, Robin's eyebrows lifted in surprise as she got a good look at the creatures for the first time.

The closest thing that came to mind to describe them would be one word:

Crab.

There, suspended in the net and struggling indignantly against the ropes that held them aloft, were five to six of the crab-like creatures. Their hard shell-like exteriors were a dark shade of green with orange stripes across their backs, and looking at them now, Robin's eyes opened even further in shock to see that some of them wore what appeared to be miniature glasses across their main eyes. Further inspection still showed that all of them were sporting some kind of clothing, whether it was a tiny hat perched on top of their crustaceous heads, a small tie that hung freely from their many-legged body…wait a minute…was one of them wearing a pocket protector?

It took a second, then one of the small creatures spoke, their voice sounding heavily modulated, like some kind of robot from a bad sci-fi movie.

"Release us at once, humans!" the small creature cried indignantly. "You do not know what forces you meddle with!"

Mabel giggled and pulled out her Polaroid.

"Ha! You guys sound like an autotune song!"

Dipper answered the crab-like creature more directly as Mabel's camera flashed.

"Hold on just a minute. We need to ask you guys some questions first! Like: why are you stealing old copies of the Gravity Falls Gossiper?"

"Our objectives are beyond your understanding!" another creature replied as it continued to struggle against the net.

"That's for damn sure…" Steve mumbled, crossing his arms. "Why anyone would be interested in those worthless tabloids is beyond me."

"You dishonor the great Celebrica with your words, human!" another one of the creatures said, having heard Steve despite his low tone.

The crab that had spoken first hissed in displeasure.

"Zebulon! Be silent! Now you have said her name in the presence of the humans!"

"Uh…who's Celebrica?" Robin asked, noting out of the corner of her eye that Dipper was already furiously scribbling in his journal.

"It is none of your concern!" the crab cried out in response. "Now release us!"

"Look," Dipper said, pausing from his intense note-taking in order to address the crabs directly. "You guys aren't going anywhere until we get some answers, so the sooner you tell us what you're doing here, the sooner you can leave."

There was a moment of silence as the crabs whispered to each other in their robotic voices, the sound eerily similar to the opening of a Yaz song.

"Very well," the head crab said at last, its voice grim and bitter. "Ask, and we will answer."

The four teens spent the next ten minutes inquiring about the nature of the crabs as well as their intent with Toby Determined's tabloid newspaper. The truth, which was about as jarring as Robin had come to expect from the goings on in this town, was this:

These crabs were actually an extraterrestrial race from a distant world. Their race, coincidentally known as "Crabloids" had built a society that valued popular culture and celebrity gossip above all else, as dictated by their deity: Celebrica, who they called the goddess of fads and all things trendy. This group of Crabloids had crash-landed on Earth some time ago, and though they had found a home for themselves here in Gravity Falls, they still upheld the traditions of their people, which mainly came in the form of sacrificing instances of tabloid journalism to Celebrica.

"So you needed Toby's crappy newspaper for your ritual?" Mabel asked. "Bout time somebody found a use for those things!"

"Celebrica demands sacrifice!" said the head crabloid, who apparently went by the name of "Crusticon".

Seeing that these aliens weren't overtly hostile, the four teens decided to relent and cut them down from their trap. It took a moment, but eventually the crustaceous creatures were lowered somewhat unceremoniously to the ground, where they spread out and stretched their chitinous bodies.

"We are fortunate to have landed on a planet such as yours, humans," one of the crabs said, raising his claws to the sky in reverence. "Your interest in the personal lives of your celebrities and natural ability to blow mundane issues out of proportion is much like our own. Celebrica has truly blessed this planet!"

"A blessing…right…" Robin said.

"So, what the hell do you guys do with those newspapers anyway?" Steve asked. "Do you, I don't know, read 'em to the moon or something?"

"Ha! Come, Earthlings!" Crusticon said, beckoning with his claw as the other crabloids grabbed the remaining copies of the Gossiper and began making for the window. "We will show you our sacred rite!"

The four teens looked at each other, then followed the crabloids outside as they led them into the forest, Robin falling in beside Steve.

"I know that these guys seem kinda nuts," she whispered to him as they continued to walk. "But they don't actually seem dangerous so far. Maybe we can trade that Toby guy's newspapers for, I don't know, some magazines or something?"

"Hopefully," he answered with a shrug, though Robin noticed that he had removed the bat from his backpack and was now resting it easily on his shoulder as they continued following the crustaceous space aliens.

After only a few minutes of walking, the group arrived in a clearing that sat at the base of a large cliff, with the large wall of stone rising high above them and the forest surrounding them on the remaining three sides. There, in the middle of the clearing, encircled by at least two hundred torch-wielding crabloids, sat a giant paper mache crab, built entirely of copies of the Gravity Falls Gossiper. Numerous other torches which were mounted on pikes and sticks adorned the edges of the clearing as well, casting the entire site in an ominous orange glow.

"Uh, I don't think we're gonna be able to give Toby his papers back…" Dipper said apprehensively, his eyes boggling at the sight of the large paper mache monument, which was almost twice as tall as he was.

Robin agreed wholeheartedly, though the returning of the stolen Gossipers was now at the back of her mind given the overall cultish nature of what she was seeing before her. She was beginning to second guess her statement to Steve about these little guys not being dangerous.

"Sons and daughters of Celebrica!" Crusticon called as they stepped to the center of the clearing. "We have returned from our journey to the hallowed halls of gossip with the remainder of the venerable scripts! We also bring four humans on this night to bear witness to our sacred sacrifice!"

A chorus of indignant whispers swept throughout the gathering, the whole thing sounding like a techno concert.

"You dare reveal our sacramental ways to outsiders, Crusticon?!" came an enraged voice from the crowd. "They know nothing of our ways!"

"Calm yourself, brother Shellbuttox!" Crusticon said placatingly. Robin heard a commotion next to her and looked over to see Mabel doubled over in an effort to hide the laughter that was threatening to escape her lips at the mention of the crabloid's name. Thankfully, their alien hosts did not seem to notice.

"Despite their lack of overt worship, humanity still holds the same values as we do," Crusticon said. "The personal affairs of their most popular idols, the attractiveness of their criminals, farfetched doomsday theories that hold no basis in reality…all are still held in high esteem throughout human society, whether the humans acknowledge it or not!"

Crusticon beckoned forward the other crabloids that held the remaining copies of the Gossiper in their claws.

"And this is proof! I have invited these humans here to reveal to them their true natures, so that they too can embrace Celebrica and someday be reborn in the halls of scandals and shock value!"

Robin shared a glance with the others. If there was a time to leave, it was now.

"Actually…" Dipper piped in, his voice bold but his posture nervously wary. "We have an acquaintance of ours that would really like his newspapers back…"

The thirteen-year-old glanced up at the large paper mache crab.

"...or at least, what's left of them. So, maybe you guys could sacrifice something else instead?"

"What?!" Crusticon bellowed, turning towards them with sudden anonymity in his voice. "We bring you here to our sacred place of sacrifice, We offer to share with you Celebrica's glory as mother of all news irrelevant and irreputable, and this is how you repay us?! You deny that which makes you whole, humans!"

If there was any doubt in Robin's mind now about the cultishness of these guys, it had now just been squashed like a junebug. All around them, crabloids began to close in, their pincers snapping and their eyes suddenly malicious. Whatever uneasy peace that had existed between them had shattered, and Robin felt an extreme case of both fear and claustrophobia sink in as they were surrounded in all directions.

"Perhaps it is you that we should sacrifice instead…"

"Whoa, hey now…" Mabel said, though her voice now matched Dipper's with how nervous it was. "Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. I know a couple of gossipy groups that you guys might be into..."

Mabel's final attempt at a peace offering fell on deaf ears, or whatever the crab-alien equivalent was, and their gazes only hardened as the now animose gathering drew closer.

"Human sacrifice will become the key to enlightenment and eternity!" Crusticon cried out, using a prophetic tone and now modeling his sentences like tabloid headlines. "One secret act will save your soul forever!"

"Ok, screw this," Steve finally said aloud. Robin's eyes then widened as the older teen suddenly leapt forward, swinging the bat on his shoulder low like a golf club and sending multiple crabloids flying. Over the surprised modulated squeals that the startled crabloids gave out, Robin saw that Steve had targeted the part of the circle where the number of the aliens was the fewest, and his swing cleaved through many at once and opened a gap in the circle that was barely wide enough to escape through.

"RUN!"

Robin wasn't sure who had shouted, but she did not need to be told twice, and neither did the rest of them. The crabloid gathering had now worked themselves into a frenzy, and it had become quite obvious that attempting diplomacy was a lost cause now. Bursting into action, the four of them sprinted through the opening Steve had made and made for the forest, a sea of angry crabloids hot on their tail.

…

Robin ducked low as another crabloid leapt for her face, and the angry alien sailed over her head and into the darkness as she continued to run. Alongside her, Dipper, Mabel, and Steve were huffing with exertion as they all struggled to escape the encroaching mob.

Unfortunately, they discovered very quickly that these crabloids were much faster on their multiple legs than the crabs they knew from earth, and as if to make matters worse, these crabloids apparently did not need to turn sideways to chase after them like their terrestrial cousins.

As a result, detachments of the aliens had cut them off at every turn, and now, the four of them were running blindly through the trees, none of them having any idea of where they were going.

Steve had been making full use of his new weapon as they ran, for each time the crabloids cut them off, one or two would leap for them, their claws snapping maliciously and their voices crying out to their tabloid god to give them strength.

A glance to the side saw Steve swing at yet another crabloid that had climbed one of the tree trunks and had leapt at them from above. The spiked bat gave a loud crack as he made contact, and the crabloid spewed religious profanity in spades as it sailed through the air and back into the darkness.

"Does anyone know where we're going?!" Robin shouted frantically as she ducked another airborne crabloid.

"No idea! Just keep running!" Dipper said frantically.

A jolt of helplessness shot through Robin as she realized that they were solely relying on blind luck as of this moment to get them away from their alien pursuers, and so far, the odds had not been kind to them. They needed to find some kind of landmark that could lead them to safety, or else they would just keep running in circles until they were caught by their numerous pursuers. The thought came with overwhelming dread to Robin. It was bad enough that they'd be killed if captured by the now bloodthirsty crabloids, but to be sacrificed to some god that embodied literally every preconceived notion of shallow media? Robin was quickly realizing that some fates really were worse than death.

Glancing around wildly, Robin felt the spark of hope ignite in her chest as she saw a small spot of light through the trees, and with a shout to Dipper, Mabel, and Steve, she turned and pounded her feet with the last of her vigor in the direction of the light, praying to whatever deity that wasn't Celebrica that they would make it in time.

The four of them burst through the treeline, and Robin's small flicker of hope was immediately snuffed out when they saw that they were back in the clearing at the base of the cliff, the giant paper mache crab of Gossipers almost taunting them with its expressionless gaze.

"Ha ha…good move, Robin…" Mabel said, as if she were trying to convince herself that their only attempt at salvation had not just gone up in smoke. "...you…uh…you brought us back here on purpose because you remembered the way back, right?"

Robin chose not to grace that question with an answer, as none of the words she would have used would have been considered pleasant. Given the high possibility that she would be meeting her creator soon, Robin was currently trying to be on her best behavior lest she be sentenced to some form of damnation in the afterlife for swearing at a thirteen-year-old in her last moments.

"Irrelevant," came a most unwelcome and electronic voice from the trees, and all around them the foliage rustled as the crabloids emerged, this time spread out in a semi-circle that forced them back towards the wall of the cliff.

"There is nowhere to run, humans," Crusticon continued dangerously, his voice coming from somewhere within the semi-circle growing tighter and tighter around them. "You are yesterday's news…well, not really, since your disappearances will likely be in the papers tomorrow…but you understand what I mean!"

At her side, Robin felt Steve shoulder his way to the front of their little group, placing himself at the forefront of their group in an attempt to shield Robin and the twins.

"Get back!" he threatened, shaking the bat in his hands in a display of force. Despite his attempts at demoralizing the horde, it was no secret to all parties present that the oldest teen had exhausted himself during their attempted escape. Running and fending off the crabloids with his bat had left him more drained than the others, and Robin felt her a deep pang in her chest when she saw how Steve was still fighting to protect them despite his current state. Robin glanced back to see both Dipper and Mabel looking back and forth between her and Steve and the approaching crabloids, terror ever-present on their faces at their now seemingly-inevitable fate.

"Even now, you still don't realize what greatness you will be a part of!" Crusticon said. "To be sacrificed to Celebrica is an honor few will ever claim! Your soul will be immortalized among the stories of movie star love scandals and political fiascos for all of eternity. Never in life can such raw gossip be experienced over and over! You will witness it all as though you were actually there!"

Amidst her own mortal terror, Robin frowned half in confusion and half in puzzlement at the zealotus spewings of the crabloid creature.

"Wait, hold on. What the hell are you talking about?" she asked out loud.

"Salvation!" Crusticon replied as the crowd constricted them further. "Through Celebrica, you will experience the makings of true journalism as they are generated! You will be right there, with the journalist, hearing them ask the questions and listen to the truth in real-time!"

"Are you…are you talking about like a TV or radio show or something?"

"Robin, what the hell are you doing?!" Steve half-whispered to her through clenched teeth, turning to look at her incredulously over his shoulder as she continued to converse with the beings that were seconds away from killing them. Robin silenced him with a look, and Steve seemed to get the message that their last shot of surviving this rested in the tense conversation she was having with their enemy. Dipper and Mabel wisely followed his lead.

"What is…how do you say it…Tee-Vee? And what is rah-dio?" Crusticon asked, and murmurs of curiosity began to ripple through the tight clump of crabloids at the strange words they did not understand.

Robin was dumbfounded.

"Wait, you guys have spaceships but don't know what a TV or a radio is?"

Their bloodlust temporarily forgotten, the crabloids all turned and looked at each other confusedly.

"We are unfamiliar with such terms," another crabloid said among the crowd. "Why do you associate them with Celebrica?"

"Uh," Robin said, her voice growing a bit more confident as she spoke, though she could feel how dry her throat suddenly became at explaining the concept of television and radio to a bloodthirsty cult of crab-aliens. "That whole thing about seeing your pop culture and news in real time is something that we do on Earth all the time."

"You would be wise not to deceive us, human!" Crusticon said, menacingly raising a claw towards the four of them.

Robin spent the next few minutes frantically insisting that she was not, and then went on to explain how television and radio worked, the crabloids growing more and more awestruck as she continued to speak.

"So yeah, you can watch and listen to celebrity interviews, and…drama shows as they actually happen," Robin said as she wrapped up her explanation. "If that's your thing, I can definitely assure you it's way better than human sacrifice!"

"Show us at once!" Crusticon said, and the crabloid masses immediately began demanding and chanting in their filtered voices for proof of Robin's claims.

"Well, I don't exactly have a radio on me or anything…"

"Lies, then! Deceit!"

"Wait! Wait!" Robin said, holding her hands out to try and calm the horde before they riled themselves up into a frenzy again. Suddenly remembering something, Robin reached behind herself and removed her Walkman from her belt. By some miracle, it had survived the chase intact, and Robin sent a prayer of thanks to whoever was listening that she had not been able to remove the tape of Toby Determined's radio show before they had left the station.

"Here," Robin said, carefully holding out the Walkman to Crusticon, who approached with a curious yet cautious demeanor.

"It's just a recording, but with a radio, you can tune into broadcasts just like this every day as they happen."

Crusticon was silent as Robin showed him how to operate the Walkman, and then the whole clearing fell into an intense silence as the small alien creature listened to the contents of the tape. In any other scenario, she might of laughed at the cartoonish sight of a small crab wearing headphones, but the prospect of being a bloody sacrifice at the hands of said crab did not really leave her in the mood for jokes. Her anxiety slowly spiked as the crabloid's chitinous face remained stoic for a few moments, then, his face lifted as he began to fully understand what he was listening to, his eyes wide and his crab-like mouth agape with awe at the taped recording of Toby's radio show.

If someone told Robin that Toby Determined's crappy gossip radio show was going to save her life today, she would have told them they were dreaming, but she yet again was reminded of the weirdness that prevailed in this town, and she released a breath she hasn't realized she'd been holding as Crusticon removed the headphones and turned to address his crabloid comrades.

"Brothers and sisters, rejoice!" he cried in jubilation. "The veil has been lifted, for this human has shown us what we were once blind to!"

The crabloids cheered as Crusticon described what he had heard on the Walkman, and with fervent assurance from Robin, he went on to say that what he had experienced was only a small fragment of all that they could witness in their obsession of what humanity called tabloid journalism.

"My friends," Crusticon said, turning back to the four humans at last. "Forgive us for our lapse in judgment. We were wrong to try and sacrifice you to Celebrica, for it was you that gave us the key to her graces after all!"

Dipper attempted to say something, but his voice cracked awkwardly, likely a mental side effect of the brush with death they had just endured. He quickly cleared his throat and tried again.

"Heyyyy…no problem!" he said nervously. "It would not be the first time!"

Mabel eagerly agreed.

"Yeah! No hard feelings!" she said, her own voice more confident than her twin's but still holding a slight waver. "I mean, if we held a grudge against everyone that tried to kill us, we'd never get anything done!"

Robin saw Steve glance over to the two of them like they were insane, but he seemed to decide that now was not the time to be contradictory.

"Water under the bridge…" he mumbled instead, resting the head of the bat on the ground and leaning on it for support as he caught his breath.

"Wondrous!" Crusticon said excitedly. "As a token of our apology, please accept our monument to Celebrica, and please convey to your prophet our sincerest gratitude for gracing us with such fine material for sacrifice until now!"

It took a moment for Robin to realize that the crabloid was talking about Toby and his Gossipers, and as she glanced up at the large and very unwieldy crab statue made of Gossipers, Robin felt a general sense of unease when she considered the fact that Toby Determined of all people was being hailed as a prophet by anyone, let alone a cultish group of crab-aliens. A look over to the others showed that they were not exactly thrilled by the idea either.

"I think we'll be fine with just taking the copies that haven't been assimilated into crab-zilla, yet," she finally said. "We really appreciate the gesture though…"

…

The sky was just beginning to brighten with the oncoming day when Toby burst through the doors of the radio station.

"I received your call!" he said excitedly, and Steve saw the man's face fall in dejection at seeing the relatively few copies of the Gossiper that they'd managed to retrieve.

Steve continued to watch Toby's reaction as Dipper and Mabel explained to him what had happened, and Toby gave a wail of despair when they told him what had become of his precious newspaper.

"Oh, woe is me!" Toby cried out, and Steve cringed at the sounds the man was making in his anguish. Those were not noises typical humans made, like ever.

"Hey, it's not all bad!" Dipper said reassuringly. "I mean, yeah, you lost most of your junk–I mean, archives, but look on the bright side! You gained over two-hundred new subscribers to your radio station in the process!"

"Yeah!" Mabel said. "And we also kind of promised them that you'd give them a shoutout today…"

The twins' reassurance seemed to do the trick, and Toby sniffed once before standing up straight again.

"Well, I guess I was a bit stuck in the past…" he said. "So maybe the loss of my Gossipers was really what I needed to get me to focus on the future!"

"There you go," Robin chimed in encouragingly. "I wouldn't call what you're doing now much of an upgrade though…"

She had mumbled that last part, and Steve smirked knowingly over at her, which was an expression she returned when she met his gaze. Thinking of Robin now, Steve was reminded of the fact that she had been solely responsible for keeping them from getting sacrificed to the god of pop idols and conspiracy theories not two hours ago. He, as well as the twins, would have been toast had she not been there, and Steve snorted inwardly when he remembered that this was the same Robin who had lamented not being as experienced with the supernatural as the rest of them were. He also reminded himself to tease her about that later.

"Now, as promised," Toby began. "It's time for each of you to pick your own song to play on the radio! Don't worry, I'll spread them out over the next few days or so!"

"'T8king Over Midnight!'" Mabel immediately blurted out, raising her arms in excitement. "It's the perfect song to remember this adventure because it literally happened at midnight!"

Despite the betterment all four of them received, Steve felt a smile pull at the corners of his mouth at seeing Mabel remain so positive. That kid was really something else.

"You got it!" Toby said before looking at Dipper, who did not seem to be as prepared as his twin with an answer.

"Uhh, can we circle back to me?" he said, slightly sheepish that he didn't have a song in mind.

"If you're looking for suggestions, maybe you should see if they have a radio version of the 'Lamby Lamby Dance'!" Mabel giggled, teasingly poking Dipper in the ribs with her fingers.

"Yep, definitely circle back to me!," Dipper said quickly, shooting a worried glance over to Steve and Robin while trying and failing to subdue Mabel's teasing. Steve raised an eyebrow in humor before turning to face Toby, who was looking at both him and Robin with friendly expectation on his mustached face.

"Well, how about it, you two?" Toby said, placing his hands on his hips and raising an eyebrow. "I hope you realize what an honor this is! You get your choice of a song and your own shout out on the most prestigious radio show in Roadkill County! Just say the name, and I'll make it happen!"

Steve and Robin shared a glance, then Robin turned and gave her request to Toby, who nodded knowingly.

"I figured as much given our conversation earlier! Now, how about you?"

Steve frowned for a moment, racking his brain for what song he'd like to have played. He was obviously going to pick something he knew, so that ruled out anything from the later half of 1985 onward. Looking at the severe gap in his music knowledge, Steve tried to think of a song from back then that would still maybe be popular in this time so that he didn't seem like a guy that was out of touch…

A song immediately came to mind as he thought those words, and with a smirk, Steve gave his selection, shooting Robin a sly glance as he did so.

…

Exiting the radio station at last, Robin raised her eyebrow at Steve.

"You know that's not what that song is about, right?"

"Eh, whatever," Steve said dismissively, shouldering his backpack with the bat once again sticking out of the main pocket. "Meaning is subjective, right?"

"To an extent, maybe," Robin allowed. "But you've got to do some serious reaching for that song to achieve the meaning you're intending for it, like say: ignoring most of the verses and focusing on a very specific part of the chorus."

Steve gave a shrug in response.

"Either way, it's still a good song," he said.

"Well, that, we agree on, at least."

Robin looked behind herself as Dipper and Mabel exited the building as well, with Mabel already teasing Dipper on his choice of song.

"Now, Bro–Bro, don't tell me you picked 'Don't Start Un-believing' as your song simply because of our time travel friends here…"

"For your information, sis, I actually happen to like that song," Dipper said proudly. "The time period had nothing to do with it."

"My brother has finally seen the light!" Mabel said, her eyes twinkling with joy as she clasped her hands together. "I told you that song was good! What, pray tell, led you to finally appreciate such a wonderful musical masterpiece as that?"

"Well, I guess Expedition isn't that bad of a band once you listen to them a little bit," Dipper admitted. "Plus, it's tough not to like a song when it has the capability to beat Pacifica Northwest in a Karaoke contest."

Steve cleared his throat.

"Yeah, I was actually gonna ask about that song," he said with a frown. "Am I the only one that thinks it might be a bit derivative? You know, in name and lyrics…and genre…and almost literally every other aspect?"

"Been there, done that, dingus," Robin said with a smile. "Seems like some of the musicians that we know and love have their own lesser-known counterparts. Just means more for us to listen to when we get back to '85."

It was then that Robin felt that forbidden thought creep into her mind again. It had been bugging her more and more lately, and though she promised herself that she would never tell anyone about it, she could also see that Steve had noticed that something was up. The fact that he hadn't asked about it yet was due to sheer dumb luck up to this point, and Robin cursed inwardly and forced herself to keep a straight face, though she knew she was doing a poor job of it.

"Lucky us then…" Steve said, though he raised an eyebrow towards Robin, silently inquiring as to what was suddenly bothering her.

Robin shook her head to convey that she definitely did not want to talk about it, and before Steve could attempt to press the issue, a dull growling came from right behind them. Turning towards the sound of the noise, Robin, Mabel and Steve raised their eyebrows at Dipper, who was looking down at his own stomach with a slightly shocked look in his face.

"Wow," Dipper said. "I did not think my stomach was even capable of making a noise like that."

As if to emphasize his point, another loud growl rumbled from within his stomach, and Robin was almost certain the noise could be heard from down the street.

"The beast has spoken!" Mabel suddenly cheered, grabbing hold of her twin's stomach and shaking it wildly. "We require sustenance! Sally forth, one and all!"

Without waiting for anyone else, Mabel took off down the sidewalk, scattering many bewildered pedestrians that had just started their morning. There was a moment of stunned silence, then Dipper chuckled and shook his head before starting after his twin at a leisurely walk.

"I'm pretty sure I know where she's headed. Come on."

Robin and Steve shared a glance, then shrugged and started after Dipper, the two of them following behind as they walked side by side.

"So uh, you good?" Steve asked, obviously in reference to the behavior he'd witnessed from Robin just moments ago.

"Yeah, I'm good," Robin replied, a bit more shortly than she meant to. Steve, as usual, was hardly convinced.

"I saw you get kind of weird in the radio station too over the date on that one newspaper," he ventured. "Does that have anything to do with it?"

Robin frowned.

"Date on…? Oh!"

Robin thanked her lucky stars in that moment, as Steve had unknowingly given her an out from talking about the forbidden thought that had begun to persistently plague her.

"I…yeah, that's what I was kind of wondering about," she said, trying her damndest to convince Steve that her focus on that one issue of the Gossiper was what had been bothering her.

"Okay…so what's the issue?" the older teen asked, his eyes still skeptical.

Thankful that he'd taken the bait, Robin was actually glad that Steve had remembered her confusion back at the radio station, as she had forgotten about it over the course of the evening but definitely felt the need to discuss it.

"The date: November 7th, 1983," she began earnestly. "Apparently there were a bunch of wide-spread blackouts the night before. Remember Toby saying that?"

Steve frowned once, then nodded slowly.

"Yeah, he'd said they had a few before, but nothing quite as big as that one, right?"

Robin nodded encouragingly.

"Right, this one was different. Think, Steve, was there anything else that happened that day? Do you remember where you were on November 6th, 1983?"

Steve took a moment, but shook his head.

"I was probably slacking off for some test that I should've been studying for," he admitted, shaking his head. "I don't remember the exact days."

"Well, I remember where I was, Steve," Robin said pointedly. "I was at a friend's house for most of the day. You remember Milton Bledsoe, right?"

"Yeah, you've brought him up to me a few times…" Steve replied, and she could see that he was making a genuine effort to put a face to the name. "He actually came into Family Video to say hi a couple of times, right?"

Robin smiled, glad that Steve had actually remembered some of Robin's previous friends that she occasionally still spoke to. Her friendship with Milton was actually one of the few that had survived her rebellious transformation, and for that, Robin was thankful, as Milton was still one of the few genuine souls that had yet to succumb to the monster that was Hawkins, Indiana.

"Right," Robin continued, circling back to her story. "Well, that night, I stayed at Milton's house late, his mom made Ramen, I made buckeyes…it was a whole thing. But on the ride home, something followed me. Something that scared the absolute shit out of me."

Steve's eyes narrowed, and Robin could see it written on his face that he was starting to catch on.

"I made it back home, but that night, half of Hawkins lost power, and…"

"...and that next morning, Will Byers was missing," Steve finished, and Robin nodded her head in response.

"Bingo."

The two of them walked in silence for a few moments, then Steve turned his head and looked around, as if studying Gravity Falls in a new light. He seemed to remember something, and he turned and addressed Robin with a serious look on his face.

"That was the night the Demogorgon appeared," he said, and even though Robin had never actually seen one before, she'd heard enough stories from the Party to accurately guess that the creature that had chased her that night and their Demogorgon were one and the same. "It was the night that El opened the portal and let it in from the Upside Down."

Robin nodded along, having heard this story before but most certainly looking at it with an entirely new perspective now. Now it was her turn to scan the town, her eyes once again reminding her just how similar this place was to Hawkins.

"You…don't think it caused something to happen all the way out here, do you?" she asked. "I mean, it can't be a coincidence that both Hawkins and Gravity Falls had power outages on the exact same night, can it?"

"No idea," Steve replied, and Robin felt her shoulders slump slightly at his response. Out of the two of them, Steve would know more than her, but it sounded like those government guys had kept a lot of information from those that had been involved when the Demogorgon first emerged. "If something did happen out here, maybe there's someone old enough to remember it. That Toby Determined guy seemed pretty clueless about it though."

"Maybe they covered it up," Robin suggested, remembering how the government explained away Will Byers coming back to life among many other things. She suddenly remembered Dipper telling them that his great uncle Ford had been in Gravity Falls during the early 80's attempting to research the anomalous things that happened in this town. If there was anyone who might have known if something happened here on that day, then this Ford guy might have been it.

"Hey Dipper," Robin said, turning forward to address the younger teen. Her eyes widened as she saw the boy scrambling furiously to grab his journal and pencil from his backpack, his eyes nearly feral.

"I heard everything!" he said, stuttering as if the words couldn't leave his mouth fast enough. "There is SO much that we have to discuss! Right now! I never made the connection before, but this might be huge!"

Robin shared another glance with Steve, who visibly deflated upon seeing that Dipper had something to contribute to the conversation.

"Seriously?" he said, running his fingers through his hair as he sometimes did whenever he was annoyed. "How is it that it's almost thirty years later and the bullshit manages to come back again?"

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...

A/N: There we go! Another one sealed in tight. Could you tell how excited I was to give Steve his bat back? I admit that I was a little bummed not to see him use it as much in seasons 3 and 4, but writing this definitely helped me cope! Also, I have big news! A friend of mine, who really enjoys the art style of Gravity Falls, really wanted to see what Steve and Robin looked like in the style, as they were a bit dissatisfied with the lack of crossover fanart in this regard. As a result, they commissioned what I now know to be called a "sketch dump" of the two characters in the animation style of the show! The exceptionally talented artist that provided their expertise to make it happen is named Demico-Art, and they can be found on Deviantart and Instagram! For those of you reading this story on the fanfiction website, you can see that I have made the sketches the cover art for the story (with permission from Demico-Art, of course), and the sketch dump can also be viewed on the artist's page on both previously mentioned platforms. Be sure to go show them some serious love!

As always, please feel free to express your love/hate for my work to your hearts content, as I always look forward to feedback of all kinds when looking to improve my writing style. Plus I just always love hearing from you guys! Until next time!

-ImpulsiveWeaver