AN: here it is, episode 2. There will be character OOCness; character bashing is not intended.
Episode Two, Kira and Fllay
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In the studio, two people were already sitting on the couch. A red-haired girl latched onto a dark-haired boy, who tried his best to push her away, without avail. Soon, a dark-haired young woman walked in and sat on the chair opposite them. With a smile, she turned to the camera.
"Hello, and welcome back to Talking to the Couples. I'm your host, MapleRose. Today we have in the studio Fllay Allstar and Kira Yamato." Then she turned to the couple. "Welcome to the show."
But they weren't paying attention. The girl, Fllay, was busy trying to kiss the boy, and the boy, Kira, struggled to pull away. He was about to get off the couch all together when the host cleared her throat loudly.
"Ahem! I said welcome to the show"
"Oh," Kira stopped and settled back down, "Uh, yes, thanks."
"Yes," Fllay cut in, "We're glad to be here," she smiled sweetly.
"You mean you're glad. I only came because you threatened me," mumbled Kira.
"What was that Kira?" asked Fllay with an overly sweet smile.
"N-Nothing. I said I'm happy that I came," he replied quickly with a fake enthusiastic smile.
"Ahem," the host cleared her throat again to get their attention. "Let's start, shall we. So how did you guys meet?"
"At Heliopolis," replied Kira.
MapleRose raised her eyebrow, "Would you care to elaborate?"
"I'll tell you," Fllay jumped in. "We both went to the technological school at Heliopolis. I was a grade younger than him, but me and his friend Miriallia used to hang out together, and I saw him occasionally."
Then she leaned closer. "But to tell you the truth, I thought he was a nerd back then."
"I see…" replied MapleRose. Turning to Kira, she asked, "What about you? What did you think of her?"
"I, I thought she was very pretty…" Kira answered carefully.
"Oh, Kira had a crush on me, I know," Fllay continued for him. "I just played hard to get," she said matter-of-factly.
"Right… Moving on, how do you feel about Kira being a Coordinator? It seemed to bother you a lot at first, but then all of a sudden, you don't mind anymore. What happened?"
"Well, I've never liked Coordinators. They killed my father and started this war. But my Kira's an exception. I mean, being with a Coordinator has its advantages too, if you know what I mean," she winked, and MapleRose shuddered, trying to get the mental picture out of her head.
"But aren't you angry at him after the death of your father?"
"Yes, well, yes Kira broke his promise to me that he'd be there to protect my father. So, I made sure that he would never break another promise to me again. Right Kira?" her fingers brushed his cheek, and he recoiled from the touch.
"So uh, Kira," MapleRose turned to the nervous boy, "I think this question is on the mind of a lot of people: you seem so innocent and sweet, why on earth did you sleep with Fllay!"
Before he could answer, Fllay jumped in, giving the host a glare, "How could he not? I mean, who could resist this body?" she straightened up and gestured. "I'm hot, okay. And it's every guy's dream to sleep with me," she huffed. "Don't you think I'm sexy?" she asked.
MapleRose turned away, wondering where her Tylenol was. "Sorry, I don't swing that way," she mumbled.
But Fllay wasn't finished. She grabbed Kira's arm and boasted, "Kira couldn't resist me," she grinned in triumph, "And in the end, I got what I wanted."
MapleRose raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Really? So how come Kira and you broke up then?"
Fllay narrowed her eyes at the host. "I was just using him, that's all! Once I got what I wanted, I broke up with him!"
"Are you sure? Then how come you're still hanging all over him, and why are you so jealous of Lacus?"
At the mention of the pink-haired girl, Fllay's face grew red in anger.
"I am not jealous of that bleep! She's no competition for Fllay, she doesn't even know how to kiss properly for god sakes!" she huffed.
"She's a witch, that's what she is. She's able to pull the wool over my Kira's eyes. She says one nice thing to him, and this moron," she gave Kira a hard poke, "Becomes hypnotized and runs off with her!"
"It still doesn't change the fact that Kira ended up with Lacus and not you, so doesn't that like, prove that he likes Lacus better than you?"
"No," Fllay answered tartly. "I mean, look at how things ended, it was because of me that he was able to defeat that masked man," she said proudly. "Besides it's all the scriptwriter's fault. He killed me off so that Kira and Lacus would end up together!"
MapleRose sighed at glanced at poor Kira, who's been silent all this time, watching Fllay warily. This was getting nowhere. She quickly flipped through her notes for inspiration.
"Aha, here's another question." She turned to Fllay, "What about your fiancé Sai?"
"Ex-fiancé," she corrected. Then she snorted, "That loser? I wouldn't even give him a second glance. I mean, he can't even drive a Gundam. I've long put him out of my mind."
At that moment, the producer told MapleRose through her headphones that the guest was ready to come in.
MapleRose's eyes widened and she cried out, "Wait, I don't think that's a good—"
But she didn't get to finish her sentence, as a tawny-haired boy with tea-coloured glasses walked in.
Kira's mouth opened in surprise, and Fllay stood up in disbelief.
"You! What are you doing here Sai!" she exclaimed.
Sai looked a little bit unsure. "I, I was invited to this show, to you know, talk about our relationship."
"What relationship!" Fllay snorted. "We broke up, remember!"
"But Fllay…" Sai walked closer to the red-haired girl, reaching out pleadingly.
Fllay took off her shoe and held it in her hand, and aimed it at Sai's head.
Seeing the situation, MapleRose quickly got off her chair and snatched the shoe from Fllay's hand.
"No throwing things!" she scolded, "We don't want this to turn out like Jerry Springer, okay?"
"Fine!" Fllay humphed and sat back down, crossing her arms. Then she pointed to Sai, "Just don't let him near me."
"So, uh, Sai," the host gestured to a chair far from the couch Kira and Fllay were sitting on, "Have a seat."
Reluctantly, the boy sat down. He withered under Fllay's glare.
"So uh, you and Fllay were engaged once?" started MapleRose tentatively.
Sai nodded and opened his mouth to elaborate, but Fllay cut him off.
"Yes, but that was my father's idea. It's not like I ever liked him or anything. Besides, since my father's now conveniently dead, we don't have any obligations anymore."
"But Fllay—"
"I have my Kira here, and that's all I need."
"I thought you guys broke up!" Sai protested. And MapleRose thought the same thing. Didn't she just admit that they broke up a moment ago?
"Well you thought wrong!" Fllay huffed and grabbed Kira's hand possessively. "Give it up loser, I'm with Kira now."
Sai looked dejected, and MapleRose almost felt sorry for him. But she also wondered why on earth Sai was trying so hard. Why did he like Fllay anyway?
"So Sai, are you and Kira still friends?"
MapleRose received no answer, as the two males refused to talk about this issue.
"Okay, moving on," continued MapleRose. "Sai, why don't you move on? Why are you so hung-up on Flake, er, Fllay?"
At that, Fllay glared at the host, who merely ignored it and turned to Sai, waiting for his answer.
"I, I don't know…" Sai looked thoughtful, as if he never considered this before. "But I saw her first! And Kira had no right to take her from me."
Then he turned to Kira, "Come on Kira," pleaded Sai. "Give her back. You have Lacus now, you two-timing jerk. Can't you go with her and leave Fllay to me?"
Suddenly, MapleRose felt something fly past her. Turning, she discovered in horror that Fllay's other shoe had made its way to Sai's head, knocking his glasses off. She had to admit though, Fllay had good aim.
"Oww, what was that for?" the poor boy examined his broken glasses as he rubbed his bruised cheek.
Fllay glared at him coldly in reply. "I told you, Kira and I are an item. He's mine, not that bleeping bleep's."
"But come on, Kira obviously likes her better, so why don't you go out with someone who will like you best?"
"Uh, Sai, I don't think…" MapleRose tried to stop the conversation, but failed miserably.
"Who says Kira like her better! Kira likes Fllay best!" retorted the red-haired girl, ignoring MapleRose altogether.
"Oh come on Fllay, it's so obvious to everyone but you," Sai didn't seem to get the hint.
"Are you suggesting that bleep is better than Fllay?" she narrowed her eyes.
"No, I didn't say—"
"Tell him," Fllay grabbed Kira's arm, hard. "Tell him Kira, about how much you like me so much better. I mean, you've never mistaken me for her now have you?" Tugging at Kira, she told the poor boy, "Tell him Kira."
"Uh, I," Kira stuttered, not sure what to do or say.
"Tell him," repeated Fllay through clenched teeth, and MapleRose thought she caught a glint in her eyes that made Kira gulp.
"Y-Yeah Sai, stop being so jealous. Fllay, Fllay's like me more, and I," he hesitated, but continued as Fllay tightened her grip on his arm, "And I like her, er, more, too." He cringed as the thought of Lacus seeing this show…he wondered why he'd ever agreed to come in the first place. Now, either way, he was dead.
"So there!" Fllay declared triumphantly. She edged closer to Kira and kissed him on the lips in front of everyone.
Sai's jaws dropped open. He clenched his hands and lunged for Kira and Fllay. MapleRose reacted quickly and tried to restrain him. But fueled by anger, Sai continued to advance.
Fllay broke the kiss and glared at Sai in annoyance. Sighing, she stood up, grabbed the floor lamp beside the couch, and held it out like a lance, pointing it towards Sai.
"Okay, uh I think, I think we'd better wrap it up, like right now," MapleRose spoke through clenched teeth at the producer while trying her best to pull Sai away from Kira and Fllay. "You know, before something else breaks."
The producer seemed to get the hint, as a crewmember rushed into the studio and took over the job of restraining Sai so MapleRose could wrap up the show.
"So," the host brushed herself off and turned to the camera with a fake smile. "That went…well. Hopefully, they'll get it all sorted out in therapy." Then she added, mumbling to herself, "I feel sorry for the therapist. And Fllay probably needs to go to a mental institution more than a couple's therapy session. I doubt any amount of therapy can cure her…" As if realizing that she's talking to herself, she looked up and looked at the camera again sheepishly.
"Oh, right. Uh, we wanted to invite Athrun back for the next show with Cagalli. Unfortunately, Athrun is busy sorting things out with Lacus due to their last appearance on this show, and Cagalli is busy chasing him down due to the things he'd said about her, so they will be unavailable for a couple of weeks at least. So instead, we've gotten hold of Ms. Natarle Badgiruel, and her date, who at the moment, is kept secret from me, and known only to the producer. So yeah, until next time, this is MapleRose, hope you've enjoyed the show!"
As the cameraman cut to the ending credits, the screams of Fllay, Kira, and Sai could still be heard in the background…
AN: lol, that was fun to write! hope you had fun reading it as well! comments, critiques, suggestions etc are welcome!