Disclaimer: No the authoress does not have anything against Athrun or Cagalli, or Fukuda and his wife, nor the pink-haired-girls of Destiny, nor Shinn (oh wait, scratch that last one...). Character ooc-ness and slight bashing may or may not occur in the name of parody. Enjoy.
Episode Five: Athrun and Cagalli
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In that unnamed studio in Orb, on the couch reserved for the guests, sat a blond girl with short hair, wearing the purple outfit of the ruling council of Orb. She examined her nailed and waited impatiently for the show to start. Beside her was the blue-haired boy that had been here for the show's first episode. He sat straight, somewhat nervous as he occasionally glanced at the girl beside him.
"Hello everyone," the host, MapleRose, came in at that moment, smiling at the camera and introduced herself. Then she sat down on the chair opposite the couch and turned to her guests.
"Welcome to the studio Cagalli," she nodded at the girl. "And welcome back Athrun."
The boy, Athrun, returned the greeting with a tight smile and gave another glance at the girl beside him, carefully observing her expression.
Cagalli merely smiled at the host. "Thank you for inviting us. Athrun and I are glad to be here, right Athrun?"
She turned to him and gave him a "you better not mess this up" look.
Athrun chuckled nervously and nodded, praying that he wouldn't say something that he would regret. Like last time he was here. It was just his bad luck that Cagalli had been watching this particular show that day and heard him imply that Lacus was so much better than her in every way. Since that last show, he had been trying his best to make himself scarce. Unfortunately, Cagalli was quite influential and found him rather quickly. He shuddered at the look on Cagalli's face and winced at the lecture that he'd gotten.
"So, let's get started, shall we?" MapleRose smiled at her guests. She was hoping that this interview would be as easy as the last one. But just in case, she had her bottle of Tylenol tucked into her pocket.
"Athrun, why don't you start by telling us how you guys first met?"
Athrun looked nervous still. He cleared his throat carefully before answering. "Uh, the truth is, uh, we met on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere," said Athrun. "She came at me with a gun and shot me in the arm."
"Oh. How…romantic," MapleRose commented, reaching for her Tylenol, as she was suddenly reminded of the interview with Natarle and Azrael.
Cagalli gave Athrun a look that made him shrink back.
"Well, he was wearing a ZAFT uniform, and I was fighting with the Archangel. Of course I would shoot him, he was an enemy then," she explained, lest anyone got the wrong idea.
"I see…" nodded the host. "So then what happened?"
Cagalli looked away, embarrassed. "I attacked him and kinda ended up losing…" the last bit came out mumbled, as if she didn't want to admit it.
Athrun let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I was about to kill her, but I stopped when her scream clued me in on the fact that she was a girl." Cagalli gave him a death glare that made him immediately clam up.
MapleRose raised an eyebrow and commented sarcastically, "What a wonderful way to start a relationship."
"Yeah, and you know what the first thing he says to me is? The first thing that he says to me is 'you're a girl'? As if he couldn't tell," Cagalli humphed.
Athrun laughed. "Well, from the way that you were dressed, and that haircut... I was surprised to discover that you were a girl, but I guess from that scream..." he laughed again.
Cagalli glared at him again for a second, before mumbling, "Why is everyone so surprised to find that I'm a girl? Can't they tell? I mean, didn't they ever learn about anatomy and biology?! Kira said the same thing to me, twice."
"I think it's your appearance that fools people at first," MapleRose explained helpfully.
"Then how come nobody mistook Athrun for a girl! I mean, with his haircut and those feminine eyes..."
"Hey!"
MapleRose laughed. "Maybe it's because they're used to it. I mean, except for maybe Dearka, the whole Le Creuset team looks kinda feminine."
Athrun groaned. "Can we not talk about my masculinity please?"
"You mean your lack thereof," MapleRose mumbled, and she was met with a glare.
"Uh, so anyway, what happened after that?" she asked quickly, hoping to change the subject.
"I let her go after finding out that she was a girl," answered Athrun matter-of-factly.
"Why? Just because she's female?"
"I don't beat up girls you know," Athrun answered defensively, and Cagalli looked kind of angry for some reason.
"I can take you on any day. I, I was just not ready that day, that's all."
"Sure…" he gave her an amused grin. MapleRose noted that Athrun seemed to be much more relaxed now. Either that, or he was beginning to forget his last incident.
"Anyway," MapleRose decided to speak up before Cagalli could, "So you guys spend the night together?"
"It's not like we had much of a choice. It was an island and there were only the two of us," Athrun answered. Then catching Cagalli's eyes, he quickly added, "But it's not like I minded. I mean, once we stopped fighting, we actually got along pretty well."
Cagalli smiled, and MapleRose noted a slight hint of blush on her cheeks.
"Yeah. Athrun actually untied me and shielded me from the rain, which I thought was strange at the time, but it was nice of him."
Athrun's cheeks stained a bit too, remembering. "Well she was getting wet, and the tide was coming in," he explained. "Besides, since I've already thrown away her gun, I didn't think she was going to be a threat to me anymore."
"But I guess you thought wrong, since it says here that she stole your gun," MapleRose smirked as she read her notes. "I guess you let your guard down, oh soldier of ZAFT."
Athrun looked indignant at that comment. "I didn't think she'd have the guts to do that."
"Hey I have more guts than you give me credit for Athrun!" Cagalli protested.
"So why didn't you kill me then?" he asked.
"I—" Cagalli paused, as if trying to think of what to say. "Y-You shared your food with me and let me go, I, I thought I owed you one, that's all. Besides, you're just as naïve about the war as I was, I thought I should let you live longer to find the answers."
"Oh come on Cagalli, the real reason is because you liked him wasn't it," grinned MapleRose.
"It was not!" protested Cagalli, cheeks pink. Then seeing Athrun's disappointed face, she added, "I, I mean, the real reason is what I just told you, okay."
"Sure," MapleRose grinned smugly, but decided to move on, because Cagalli looked to be in quite a fix then.
"So, then what happened?"
"Well, Miss I-know-how-to-fight here threw the loaded gun on the ground, even though that's the first thing every soldier knows not to do," Athrun grinned, as if enjoying teasing Cagalli.
"I, I got frustrated, okay?" she protested.
"Whatever," Athrun laughed. "But she just gave me another injury," he told the host.
"I said I was sorry," Cagalli cut in before MapleRose could comment, "Besides, I did help you take care of the wound."
"Yeah, I guess," Athrun suddenly blushed.
"Hey Athrun, why are you blushing?" MapleRose prodded, noticing the sudden change in the boy's complexion.
"N-No reason!" he looked away, blushing even deeper.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you saw Cagalli in her underwear would it?" teased the host.
"N-No!" Athrun was growing redder and redder by the minute.
"Sure…" MapleRose grinned, but decided to let the boy was embarrassed enough and let off the hook. But not before one more comment which she couldn't resist. "So Athrun, what's this I hear about crabs?"
As expected, the boy instantly turned into the colour of the Justice.
"Athrun's afraid of crabs," Cagalli giggled at the memory and Athrun's reaction.
Athrun flushed at her comment. "I, I wasn't afraid of them, I've just never seen them before!"
"C-Could we move on please!" he pleaded, hoping to change the subject.
MapleRose sighed. "Alright. What about your second meeting then?"
Athrun blinked, then tilted his head, as if trying to remember. "Well, I woke up, and she was standing in front of me, pointing a gun at my head."
"Oh. Again?" MapleRose was starting to wonder if Cagalli, like Azrael, used the gun to show her affection.
"Yes again," he sighed.
"That's 'cause I thought you killed Kira, you jerk!"
"Yet for some reason, you still didn't end up killing me," Athrun smiled softly, which made Cagalli blush.
"I-I didn't want anyone else to die," she muttered. "Besides, killing you wouldn't change anything. It won't bring anyone back to life. All it will do is continue the cycle of killing."
Athrun nodded and smiled again. "Yeah, I guess your words then helped me decide what to do with my life. And thanks for the pendant by the way, it really protected me."
Cagalli blushed again. "Y-You get injured way too easily, and you're way too reckless."
"You mean as reckless as you?" he teased, to which Cagalli replied with a growl.
"Thanks for the thought anyway," he laughed.
"So," smiled MapleRose, "Tell us about your first kiss. It was before the final battle wasn't it?"
Both Athrun and Cagalli turned red at that, and they looked away from each other, stuttering.
"Uh, c-could we not talk about that?"
"Yeah, it's kind of um, personal you know."
MapleRose sighed. Oh well, she tried. But she smiled at their reaction. They were still teenagers, and were still too embarrassed to talk about the kiss.
She sighed. "Fine. So um, what about Destiny?"
Cagalli bristled at the mention of that subject. "I don't want to talk about that either. Athrun was three-timing me with those pink-haired girls!"
"I, I wasn't!" Athrun protested quickly, realising he was treading on dangerous grounds now.
"Oh yeah? Then what about those photos of them hanging all over you! Like the one with that Lacus-wanna-be waking up in your room! Or that red-haired girl standing in the shower with you!" Cagalli looked like she was about to explode.
"I couldn't help it! They came at me!" Athrun protested quickly, praying that he would live through this as he gave the host a death glare for bringing up this subject. MapleRose winced, and wished she'd never opened her big mouth. She could see a headache coming.
"Oh so they just threw themselves at you eh. And I suppose you're going to tell me that you did your best to fend them off?" asked Cagalli sarcastically. "What is with you and those pink-haired girls? You've got a harem going on in Destiny, jeez!"
"Oh, and I suppose you're so innocent," retorted Athrun. "What about that blue-haired idiot?!"
"You mean you?"
"No! My hair's more of an indigo!" he pointed to his aforementioned hair. "I was referring to that stupid Yuuna guy."
"It's not like I wanted to marry him! We were like engaged when we were little, and I had no choice in the matter. I was waiting for my red knight to get me out of it, but where was he? Somewhere in the PLANTs, enjoying the company of some pink-haired girl, right?!" Cagalli huffed. "In the end I had to get my little brother to bail me out!"
That made Athrun quiet for a moment.
"Hey, don't blame me, blame the director and script writer!" Athrun supplied quickly, hoping to get Cagalli off his case and calm down.
Except it had the opposite effect. Instead of calming down, Cagalli seemed even more worked up at the mention of the director and script writer. She clenched her fists, and one could almost see the fire blazing in her eyes.
"Why that -bleeping- director and his wife!! Ugh! I can't believe what they did to me! How dare they replace me with a whole bunch of incompetent pink-haired girls and make me lose to that stupid and immature kid Shinn! Why I ought to get on the Akatsuki and go find—"
"Uh, Cagalli, I think you're getting a bit off-topic here," MapleRose quickly cut in before things could go any farther.
"So uh, you guys are trying to work things out, right?" she continued, "I mean there are a lot of fans out there who would want you guys to get back together."
" 'Get back together'? What do you mean, we never broke up," Cagalli huffed.
"Oh, uh, it just looked that way when you took your ring off. And the fact that it was Meyrin, not you, who came with Athrun to the memorial at the end of the series."
Cagalli suddenly looked very angry again, and MapleRose regretted her question. "Again, blame it all on that -bleeping- director! Just because I'm not 'cute', I'm like no longer a main character anymore!" She took a deep breath to calm herself, before continuing. "As for that final meeting thing, it's not my fault, I had a very important meeting to attend to. And those jerks had to set the meeting date on that day! It's not easy being the queen, er, I mean representative, or a nation you know."
"I see…" MapleRose kind of felt sorry for Cagalli, because with the responsibilities as the representative, she didn't have as much time to herself anymore.
"Besides," continued Cagalli, "Why would Athrun go with that Meyrin girl? I mean, she's a nobody. Me? I'm the leader of a nation for crying out loud! If Athrun sticks with me, he could be the king one day."
"Er Cagalli?" Athrun cut in, "I thought Orb didn't work on this type of monarchy? So technically, there isn't even a position for a king."
Cagalli glared, and Athrun gulped.
"A-And besides, who says I want to be king anyway?"
"I do."
Athrun shrunk back from her glare. "O-Okay, if you say so…"
"Eheh," MapleRose chuckled uneasily at that exchange. It seems that Cagalli was still very much angry. Better end this before too late.
"So uh, that's all we have time for! Thank you for coming Athrun and Cagalli!" she told her guests, sounding a bit too cheerful. And Athrun visibly relaxed with a sigh of relief.
MapleRose then turned to the camera. "Thank you very much for joining us for another episode of Talking to the Couples. I guess it wasn't too bad, except for the ending part about Destiny. Note to self, stop bringing up questions and comments that would warrant an argument or get the guests angry. It will only end in a headache for everyone, including yourself."
"Ah!" MapleRose suddenly realized that she was ranting and mumbling to herself, and smiled sheepishly at the camera. "Sorry, a bit off topic there. Anyway. Next time, we have invited Miriallia and Dearka as our guests, so please tune in!"
As the camera cut to the credits, MapleRose looked to her guests and sighed in relief. It seemed that Cagalli finally managed to calm down, presumably with the help of Athrun, as she was resting against his shoulder, looking worn out. MapleRose sighed again, she was worn out as well. Hopefully, interviewing Dearka and Miriallia would be less stressful, though she highly doubted that.
AN: Yes this one took awhile. I was busy with other things. Some parts were easy to write, others are more difficult. I tried to make this cute in some places and parody-ish in others. This wasn't as overly fluffy and sugary as the last one, as this couple doesn't quite make me go all fangirly. Nothing against Asucaga, I just find some parts of their relationship (like their first two meetings) amusing. Also, nothing against Cagalli either, but making her angry was rather amusing, esp the end. I'd be angry too if I were her, seeing as how she sort of got cut in Destiny. And finally, nothing against the director and his wife either. Sure they screwed up a whole bunch of things in Destiny, some parts they did all right. And they are the ones who brought us SEED and Destiny in the first place. Oh, and I just find Athrun's harem amusing, I kinda feel sorry for his unwanted popularity actually, he's just too much of a gentleman to say no to pushy girls.
Anyway, couples MapleRose plans to interview (so far): Dearka and Milly, Kira and Lacus, Murrue and Waltfeld (which is rather amusing with bits I have so far), possibly Yzak and Shiho. Then maybe if I have time and energy I might move to the Destiny couples.