Act five
We get to the happy woods of Jump City, where, by some miracle, Gar, Cyborg and Star Fire have managed to fit on the 'Rent a wreck'. They stop in front of a bridge crossing a tiny river. On the bridge stands Mammoth, who is leaning on a big stick
"Dismount", says Gar as everyone gets off the horse,
"Hey Gar, wait here, I'll go make sure it's safe". Says Cyborg.
Gar takes hold of the reins and waits with Star, as Cyborg goes up to Mammoth.
"Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see." Says Mammoth
"Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid." Replies Cyborg.
"What... is your name?"
"Cyborg of Jump City."
"What... is your quest.?"
"To get me some honey."
"What... is your favorite color?"
"Blue."
"Go on. Off you go."
"Oh, thank you. Thank you very much." Cyborg walks buy and gives Mammoth a halfpenny.
"That's easy!" cries Star, who manages to fly over without hitting anything. How? We're not really sure.
"Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see."
"Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid."
"What... is your name?"
"Blinkin of Logan"
"What... is your quest?"
"To turn Robin straight."
"Good luck," Murmurs Mammoth, "What... is the capital of Assyria?"
"I don't know that." She is thrown over the edge into the stream.
"Auuuuuuuugh!"
Gar walks over and pulls Star out then moves over to Mammoth.
"Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?"
"Garfield of Logan."
"What... is your quest?"
"To reclaim Britain's Honor."
"What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
"What do you mean? An African or European swallow?"
"Huh? I... I don't know that." He almost falls off but manages to stay on the bridge.
"Now then, would you mind moving out of the way?" asks Gar sweetly.
Mammoth looks thoughtful for a moment.
"I say, not until ya pay the toll", he says.
"Toll?", asks Gar, "What toll?".
Mammoth blinks at him, as if Gar didn't understand the answer.
"Well...", he explains, "the toll you pay fer crossing my bridge".
"I ain't paying no toll", says Gar indignantly, "this bridge is on my families land. Well...used to be my families land".
Mammoth stares at him for a second
"Hey, you're that Garfield of Logan!", he says, "Ahahahhahahah! Garfield!".
"Laugh it up Putty Tat." mutters Gar
He suddenly grabs Gar 's hand, his clawed one pretty much swallowing it alive before shaking wildly, almost yanking Gar 's arm off in the process.
"Oww.", winces Gar, then looks at Mammoth, "And who might you be?".
"They call me Little John", says Mammoth, then, winking, holds up a clawed finger, "Don't let my name fool you, in real life, I'm very big. Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean, say no more!"
"DUDE! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!", screams Gar, "I...mean, I'll take you're word for it. Now let me pass".
Gar goes to walk past Mammoth, who puts out a hand, stopping Gar in his tracks.
"Eerrrrrr...no. Sorry", says Mammoth, "But a toll is a toll. And a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls"
He grins proudly.
"Hee hee. I made that up".
Gar humors him with a small chuckle.
"That's very fascinating, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you", he says pleasantly.
"Oh yeah, my pleasure", grins Mammoth happily, before shouting over his shoulder, "Will!".
Speedy suddenly comes running out of the bushes with Robin's Bo staff.
"Promise me you'll never tell me what you were doing in there with that", says Gar, paling.
Speedy winks and tosses Gar the Bo staff. Which Gar catches. As he and Mammoth start to get into a fighting stance, Cyborg sighs and goes to stand by Star near the horse.
"Hey Blinkin'", says Cyborg.
Star blinks around blindly.
"Did you say Abe Lincoln?"
"No, I didn't say Abe Lincoln", growls Cyborg, "I said HEY BLINKIN', hold the reins man!"
He slaps the reins of the horse in Star's hand and runs off to the bridge. He stops by the bank on Gar's side.
"Hey, Gar ".
"Excuse me", says Gar to Mammoth, then looks at Cyborg.
"No, excuse me", smiles Cyborg, then clears his throat, "Hey, look man, you don't have to do this. This 'aint exactly the Mississippi!"
He points to the tiny stream in front of him, barely a trickle of water. He hops onto Mammoth's side of the river.
"I'm on one side", he says, then hops across, "I'm on the other side".
He hops across again.
"I'm on the East Bank", once more he hops over, "I'm on the West Bank".
He jumps so he is standing with one leg on either side of the 'river'.
"It is not that critical!"
"It's not the point", says Gar with a sniff, "It's the principle of the thing".
Mammoth looks at him blankly for a second before nodding. Cyborg takes this in, looking from Gar to Mammoth.
"Nice knowing you", he says simply, walking back to stand by Robin.
Gar and Mammoth stand calmly for a second, Mammoth flexing his big stick behind his back. Suddenly, they both put the stick out in front of them and begin to whack their opponents stick. With a big whack, they each break their sticks in half. They look at them before tossing one half away and continuing their battle, this time swinging them like lightsabers.
"If you even THINK about sayin' that 'I am your father' line, I'm going to shove this Bo staff where the sun don't shine", says Gar pointedly.
"Oooooh I'm soooooooo scared", growled Mammoth, "Little salad top ninny!"
Mammoth fakes a blow to the head, which Gar guards and Mammoth quickly bring the stick down on Gar's foot. Gar hops on one foot. They hit each others stick again, once again the stick breaks, becoming even smaller as they toss one half each away. They hit each others stick by holding it out in front of them as before, circling each other to a point where they have swapped sides on the bridge. Neither of them notices this as they circle back around and once again break their sticks in half. They both glance at their now tiny sticks, not much longer than a pencil. They get back into fighting stance and stare at each other.
"Okay, you overgrown squirrel, it's go time", says Gar.
Gar flicks his stick out, hitting Mammoth in the knuckles.
"OWWWW!", whimpers Mammoth, shaking his bruised knuckles.
Gar manages this move two more times before Mammoth glares at him. Gar goes for a fourth and Mammoth moves his hands away, Gar chooses instead to clonk Mammoth on the head with his stick. Mammoth falls off the bridge into the 'river'. Gar stands on the bridge, looking down at Mammoth with his hands on his hips, laughing heartily
"Help me! I can't swim", screams Mammoth, "I'M DROWNING!!!!"
Mammoth starts to panic, thrashing around in the tiny tiny TINY stream. Gar blinks before jumping onto the bank and pulling Mammoth clear of the 'river'. Speedy watches this in amusement from the bank
"There there, you're all right now", says Gar reassuringly,
Gar 's eyes widen as Mammoth pulls him into a bear hug.
"Thank you, Gar ", he sobs, "You saved my life!".
Gar desperately pats Mammoth on the arm.
"What?", asks Mammoth, blinking at him.
Gar points to his head, which is buried somewhere in Mammoth's arm.
"Air!", he gasps out desperately.
Mammoth blinks and lets go of Gar.
"I am in your debt", smiles Mammoth.
"Think nothing of it", wheezes Gar.
Cyborg suddenly runs up.
"Hey, Garfield, you okay?"
"Let me introduce you to my friends", says Gar to Mammoth.
He points to where Star is standing by the horse.
"That is Blinkin'".
Mammoth waves at Star, who waves back towards a different direction. Gar shakes his head, before pointing at Cyborg.
"And this is Achoo".
"Awww, bless you", says Mammoth, slapping Gar on the back.
"That's my name, man", says Cyborg with a shrug, "Achoo".
"Let me introduce you to my best friend", says Mammoth, pointing at Speedy, "Will Scarlet".
"Scarlet's my middle name", says Speedy proudly, "My full name is Will Scarlet O'Hara".
Gar and HS look at each other in confusion, before looking back at Speedy.
"We're from Georgia", says Speedy with a shrug, despite his Western accent.
"He's deadly with his herring", says Mammoth with a grin.
"His WHAT?!" cries everyone on the set.
"Really?" says Gar, "How about a demonstration?"
"Gladly", grins Speedy, going back into the bushes, pulling out a bow and arrow.
"What else do you have back there?" asks Cyborg, arching a brow.
Speedy hands the bow and arrow to Gar and walks a little away.
"Okay then", he says, pointing at his eye, "Fire an arrow, straight in my eye".
Gar blinks.
"Are you serious?".
"Absolutely", grins Speedy.
He pulls out two herring from his belt and twirls them around his fingers like a cowboy would his pistols. Gar blinks, before looking at Mammoth, who grins and nods
"Okay", says Gar, pulling up the bow, "...goodbye".
He fires an arrow and Speedy moves the fish in front of him quickly, the sound of a buzzsaw being the result. In seconds, the arrow is gone, the tip falling onto the floor harmlessly.
"What part of Georgia are you from?!", squeaks Cyborg, "South Central?".
Speedy smirks, blowing on his fish and going to put them back in his belt, only to cut his trousers off.
"Well I haven't quite figured that part out yet!" says Speedy, looking around in slight fear of his rabid fan girls.
"HA!" shouts Draconus.
"...Okay", replied Gar.
"Awww, I'm sorry the toll thing, Gar ", says Mammoth, "But, I mean, it's Prince John. He's taken our homes and everything we own. We've nothin' left".
"Not to worry, Little John", says Gar. " Even as we speak, I'm forming a plan to make trouble for our friend Prince John and Fruitland. Tonight, I will crash their party and give warning that there are those who will fight to rid Jump City of their tyranny".
"Good. We'll join ya!" grins Mammoth.
"We will?", asks Star Fire.
Cyborg and Speedy both nod and agree.
"No. I can't risk the lives of others. One man can get in more easily than half a dozen", says Gar, "Well, I must be off. Fair thee well, and I will see thee upon thy return".
"Is that the costume talking?", asks Cyborg, wrinkling up his nose.
"More than likely", nods Gar.
They wave him off as Gar runs towards the horse from behind. He goes to jump on it, only to fall off.
"Ahhh, green men can't jump", says Cyborg, shaking his head.
"CUT!"
"I need medical assistance", whimpers Gar from the floor, "...NOW!"
I would like to thank you all for the wonderful reviews this story has gotten. This goes especially to beautifulpurpleflame. No offense to the rest of my readers, but I've been a fan of beautifulpurpleflame's stories for a long time and to have someone of her talent enjoy one of my stories is quite the honor. I hope I can keep with all of my readers expectations, and tha tmy next stories are appreciated as much as this one. Speaking of which if you guys have any ideas for stories I should do, let me know in your reviews. Thanks and keep reading and please review.