Act six
We go to nighttime, where horses are going in the 'valet parking' of the castle. Red Star is covered in white face paint and miming climbing a rope. Adonis and Robin watch boredly, Adonis's mole has now moved to his upper left lip. Robin finally has enough.
"Kill him!" shouts Robin.
Larry and Seemore walk forward to Red Star with evil smirks.
"...!!!!!", says Red Star,
"No wait", says Adonis, "You know a mime is a terrible thing to waste".
Robin gives a disgruntled sigh.
"...fine!...Let him go". he says moodily,
Raven suddenly walks down into the hall, all dressed up in finery. Everyone watches her and bows to her
"I could get used to this", grins Raven.
She walks over to the main table and goes to take a seat on the other side of Adonis.
"Raven, you know our good Sheriff of Fruitland", he says, pointing at Robin.
"You look ravishing, my dear", he says, licking his lips and walking over to her.
"Well, I must say that Prince John has spared no expense for tonight's party", says Robin, "We have exotic foods from across the seas. Coconuts, bananas and dates".
He picks up a bowl, containing dates.
"Would you care for a date?" he asks, offering her the bowl
"Why, yes tha...", starts Raven, reaching for a date.
Robin laughs and pulls the bowl away.
"How about next Thursday?" he says, "Ha ha ha".
"Ba dum bump bump", says dumas4.
Suddenly, Gar bursts in, carrying a dead pig on his shoulders.
"This is...really, REALLY gross! I'm a vegan for Christ's sake!", he grumbles, before smiling at the room, "Good evening".
He walks in and the guards behind the door slump to the floor, groaning.
"That's him!" hisses Robin, "That's Logan!"
From inside a little room, Kole, Black Fire, Terra, Bee and Sarasim all gasp in surprise. Gar walks up to the table happily.
"Greetings, your highness", he says, then promptly drops the dead pig on the table in front of Adonis, who looks more than slightly grossed out.
"You know", says Adonis, "... Some people bring chocolates".
"A present, for you and your guests!", smiles Gar.
"That's a wild boar!" shouts Robin.
"No, no. That's a wild pig", says Gar, pointing at the pig, then points at Adonis, "THAT'S a wild bore!".
"Funny!", shouts Adonis, slamming his fist on the table, "That's very amusing! So you're Garfield of Logan, huh?"
Gar makes a small bow while Raven sighs at him.
"Oh!", she says, "I've heard so much about you".
Gar looks at her before sitting on the table in front of her.
"And you are...?", he prompts.
"Maid Raven", says Raven.
"Ahhhhh. Maid Raven", says Gar with his charming smile, "Rumors of your beauty have traveled far and wide, yet I see they hardly do you justice".
He kisses her hand tenderly, while Robin begins to have the start of a silent hissy fit in the corner.
"Quite a smoothy. He's definitely a smoothy", murmurs Adonis.
Robin finally snaps and loses it, yelling at Gar.
"ENOUGH!" he screams, "King illegal forest to pig wild kill in it a is?!!!!!".
"What?", asks Gar and Raven in unison, blinking in confusion.
Robin takes a breath.
"I mean... ", he says, "don't you know it is illegal to kill a wild pig in the king's forest?!!".
"Is not also illegal to sit in the kings throne and usurp his power in his absence?", asks Gar, starting to eat a date while the crowd gasps.
"Careful Logan, you've gone to far", says Adonis in a sing song voice.
"I've only just begun", says Gar, "I've come to warn you that if you don't stop letting these evil taxes, I will lead the good people of Jump City in a revolt against you".
Everyone gasps again.
"And why should the people listen to you?" snorts Adonis.
"Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods", says Gar, "I can speak with an English accent"
"To tell you the truth this guy is starting to get on my NERVES!" shouts Adonis,
"Worry not your highness", says Robin, "I shall dispose of this feathered upstart".
He walks over to Gar and takes off a glove.
"I challenge you to a duel!" he says, slapping Gar's cheek with the glove as the crowd gasps.
"This crowd doesn't get out much, do they?" mutters dumas4.
"Not while we control their lives." Replies Draconus with a grin.
Gar touches his face, before suddenly pulling out a gauntlet arm from behind his back. He the promptly wacks Robin across the face with it, making a rather ominous metallic THUNK.
"I accept", says Gar.
"That is going to cost you, Logan!" snaps Robin, trying his best to stay conscious.
"Please, put it on my bill", smirks Gar.
"So, it has come down to this, has it?" says Robin, squaring up to him, "A fight to the death. Mano a mano. Man to man. Just you and me and my GUARDS!"
Nothing happens.
Robin looks around as Gar draws his sword ready for a fight.
Hot Spot, Cinderblock and Killer Moth suddenly show up, each holding a beer stein. After apologizing, they surround Gar, while Robin stands to the side. Gar fights them off with his sword, Hot Spot almost lands on Adonis, then gets up and goes back to the fight.
"Check please, table one", says Adonis, waving his hand in the air.
Gar carries on fighting the guards, backing his way up some stairs. He notices a chandelier hanging from the ceiling above the guards he grins and cuts the rope. A chandelier falls alright, right on top of Gar.
"Pain", whimpers Gar from the floor.
Suddenly Speedy, Mammoth, Star Fire and Cyborg burst in through the doors. Adonis hides behind the dead pig as the merry men attack, Star Fire holding onto the back of Mammoth's belt and being dragged along. The guests all leave in a panic as Raven swoons over the battle. In the small room, Kole, Black Fire, Terra, Bee and Sarasim are still watching. Kataru walks in and watches too... or rather watches down their tops.
"Lots of ladies...skimpy clothing…I'm so happy", he sighs.
The battle rages on and as Gar fights Cinderblock, Star shows up by his side holding a tray with a beer stein on it.
"Refreshment sire?" she asks.
"Ahh, thank you, Blinkin'", says Gar, taking the mug and drinking from it, using his other hand to fight off Cinderblock
"It sounds like we're winning, sire", points out Star.
"Indeed we are", nods Gar, giving the mug back to Star, "Carry on!".
Over at the royal table, Robin shows up to hide behind the dead pig with Adonis
"Save me, save me", cries Adonis, "Hurt them, hurt them!".
"Yes, save them, save them. Hurt you, hurt you", says Robin, nodding, "Got it!"
Adonis looks at him in horror.
"I'm gonna die!!!!"
As the battle rages on, Star gives a war cry and wielding an obviously fake sword, starts to fight. The camera pans back to show that she is attacking a wooden pole. At a table, Killer Moth is wrestling Gar to a table, he picks up a grapefruit.
"Care for some, desert?" he asks, rubbing it in Killer Moth's face, making him fall back.
"IT BURNS, IT BURNS!" he screams as he rolls around clutching his face.
"Archers ready!"
Gar ducks under the table when the arrows fire at him. Once under there, he comes nose-to nose with Raven, who is also hiding.
"Maid Raven!" he says in surprise, "Tell me, do you believe in... love at first sight?"
"Depends on what your looking at", says Raven coyly.
"Well?", asks Gar
"Yes. Yes. Yes", smiles Raven.
"Bow chicka wow wow, bow chicha wow wow", says dumas4, then pauses, "I err...carry on"
They come within inches of kissing when a foot appears by them. Gar hits it with his sword
"To be continued", says Gar, vanishing back into battle.
As Gar leaves, Jinx takes his place under the table
"Mien leibchen", she says, then pauses, "... wait... what's a leibchen?"
"I dunno", shrugs Raven, "maybe it's a type of cheese."
"Neh. I'm so glad I found you!", says Jinx, "Come on, zis party's getting crashed".
Up on the stairs, Gar is still fighting. Star Fire has now reduced the 'deadly dangerous' pole into a tiny little splinter of a pole. Cinderblock goes to fire and arrow at Gar, and Speedy suddenly throws out his herring, pinning him to the wall. He walks up to him and punches him, knocking him out. He takes his fish back and watches him slide down the wall
"Am I good?", he asks, looking at the screen, then nods, "I'm good!".
At the table, Robin suddenly stands up.
"Bar the doors! Don't let them get away!" shouts Robin, "Surround the great hall!".
"Now you're talking!", grins Adonis.
Everyone pauses in battle and watches as the doors are barred and a whole load of knights in armor appear, surrounding the hall completely, clanging as they do so.
"I hope it's worth the NOISE!", whines Adonis, holding his hands to his head.
Gar notices that his men are cornered by the door. He reaches for a rope that is near, despite the era, a glowing EXIT sign.
"We got him, we got him!", laughs Adonis evilly.
Gar pulls on the rope carefully, glad that it supports his weight.
"Ah ha! Right rope", he says with a nod.
He swings, Errol Flyn style, across the room. He knocks one of the guards, who falls into the guard in front, and so on, creating a very noisy domino effect throughout the whole hall. Everyone cheers on, while Adonis looks ready to cry.
"Look at this!", he whimpers, "We went from Royalty to recycling!".
The merry men and Gar are still surrounded to the door.
"Little John, could you get the door?", asks Gar pleasantly.
"Alright", says Mammoth, "I'll try".
As Mammoth single-handedly picks up the bar over the door, Gar turns to the party.
"Well, it's been a wonderful party and we'd love to stay and all that, but I'm afraid we must dash", he says, "So ta ta."
All of them bow as Mammoth tosses the bar over them, it hitting Hot Spot, Cinderblock and Killer Moth and pinning them down. He blows Raven a kiss, who puts out her lips to catch it, only to have Jinx snap her hand in front of her face, catching the kiss.
"No no no", scolds Jinx,
Gar tips his hat to the crowd and they all leave. Adonis stands dripping pig parts that somehow got all over him.
"Ewwwww I gotta wash pig guts off me!" cries Adonis, "this shirt is dry clean only!!!"
"Stop complaining!" snaps dumas4, "or you'll get locked in the box again!"