Act eleven
We go to the annual spring fair of Jump City, where the residents of Jump City are bustling around, enjoying themselves. We zoom in on where Mammoth, Speedy, Star Fire and Cyborg are walking around dressed as women. Speedy mutters to himself
"For the love of...what's wrong now", says Cyborg, glaring at him.
"I should have never worn these shoes", moans Speedy " They don't match my purse ".
"You obviously have some issues ta work through", mutters Mammoth.
Speedy just rolls his eyes.
The group moves on, trying to act feminine, and are failing badly...well… except for Star Fire. We go to where Dr. Light is tossing snacks at the crowd. Up on the royal stand, Gnarrk and Val-Yor blow trumpets on either side of Adonis's ear, who's mole has moved to the right hand side of his chin, making him wince. Control Freak steps forward, complaining about his miniscule part in the whole production.
"THE ROYAL ARCHERY CONTEST IS ABOUT TO BEGIN! ARCHERS TAKE YOUR PLACES" he announces.
Adonis groans and holds his head, then sits down as various archers get lined up. Among them is Galfore, and a very suspicious looking old man...with green skin. Robin takes his seat next to Adonis
"Are we...'prepared'", asks Adonis.
"Have all the 'toys' right here", grins Robin, then blinks"...oh that... yes sire".
He waves rather stupidly into the distance. In a tower, we see Superboy nod and silently put together a crossbow
"Oooooooh coolies", grins Adonis
"ARCHERS, TO THE LINE", shouts Control Freak "READY, AIM...WAIT FOR IT...FIRE".
The archers shoot at the target, only two arrows hitting the bullseye
"THE TWO ARCHERS WHO HIT THE BULLSEYE CAN STAY, THE REST OF GENTLEMEN YOU CAN BUGGER OFF", Control Freak gives a squeak"...my throat is getting rather sore".
"Do I look like I care", asks Draconus "'cause I really don't."
Robin watches as only Galfore and the suspicious green skinned old man are left. He grabs Adonis's arm, who swats him off.
"No touching", snaps Adonis "you're so touchy, you need to get that seen to."
"There he is", says Robin, ignoring him "The old man is Logan".
"Are you sure", asks Adonis, squinting at the man"...he looks more like Mark Twain".
"THE OLD MAN, MAY GO FIRST", shouts Control Freak.
The suspicious green skinned old man shoots his arrow, hitting the bullseye, making the crowd cheer
"Well done", says Robin, pausing for effect "Garfield of Logan."
The crowd gasps, then cheers as Gar takes of his disguise.
"Whoof whoof whoof whoof", shout the crowd, waving their hands in the air.
"Whoof whoof whoof whoof", chant Jinx and Raven in a much more quieter version.
"...Why are people woofing at me", asks Gar, confused.
The Merry Titans are watching this in shock.
"He's crazy, we gotta stop him", says Mammoth.
They charge forward, only to be blocked by Plasmus and Cinderblock.
"Sorry", Cinderblock pauses"...ladies, it's the Royal entrance, you'll have to go round the other way".
Meanwhile, in the Royal booth, Adonis yanks Robin back to his chair.
"Look what you've done you IDIOT" snaps Adonis "Now he's even more of a hero to the people!"
"Galfore still has another shot", points out Robin.
"But he hit the very center of the bullseye", says Adonis, shaking his head "Shmook".
Robin narrows his eyes at being called a 'shmook'
"Wait... and watch... sire", he says, then adds in a whiney voice "... and I'm not a shmook"
We see Galfore draw out an arrow and fire it. The arrow goes straight through Gar's own, hitting the bulls-eye. Punk Rocket looks up from the crowd, shocked
"He split Gar's arrow in twade", he shouts, lathering everyone close in spit.
The crowd cheers and run from the stands, picking up Galfore, while Gar watches, confused. The Merry Ladies...err... Titans, watch as the crowd start to boo and hiss at Gar
"Aww, Gar's in trouble", says Cyborg "come on".
He grabs Plasmus and Cinderblock in either arm and tosses them aside.
"Owww", groans Plasmus"...my leg".
Gar is still standing dumbfounded as the Merry Titans arrive by his side.
"I lost...I lost", Gar blinks "Wait a minute, I'm not supposed to lose! Let me see the script".
He plucks a script from a Sladebot's hands and starts to flick through it.
"Yo, Garfield, man", says Cyborg with a nervous laugh "time to fly".
The Merry Titans start to be bombarded with vegetables.
"Oh good, they've opened the salad bar", asks Star Fire.
"WAIT", grins Gar, pointing at the script "I get another shot".
"He gets another shot", shouts Cyborg.
"Yay", says Mammoth happily, hugging Gar's head, making Gar squeak in pain.
"Does Garfield get another shot", asks Raven, confused.
Adonis and Robin look at each other before taking scripts from two Sladebots themselves, flicking through them and sighing.
"Yes girls, he does, he does", they groan in unison.
Overload stands up to calm down the hissing and booing crowd.
"Sires and ladies. Silence, listen", says Overload "Garfield has another shot".
"Yay", shout the crowd.
"Lets give him the chop", shouts Overload.
The crowd starts to chop their arms up and down, while singing.
Oh oh oooohh oh oh ohhhhh!
"Kill him, kill him now", hisses Adonis.
Robin waves rather stupidly at Superboy again, who takes aim for Gar's head. He shoots his bow and Star Fire suddenly snaps out his hand, catching it inches from Gar's face.
"...Nearly died", squeaks Gar"...big…sharp…pointy."
Gar cries and suddenly hugs Star Fire
"Thank you my friend", he sobs.
"You are most welcome friend", says Star Fire.
"Gar", says dumas4 in a panicky singsong voice"...this isn't in the scriiiipt".
"I'm sorry, I'm better now...thought I saw the light", sniffles Gar "I heard heavenly voices. They sounded allot like Raven. I saw my own life flash before my eyes...I owe Robin a Wine Cooler".
"...How did you do that", asks Cyborg, trying to get things back on track.
"I heard that coming a mile away", says Star Fire matter-of-factly.
"Very good Blinkin, well done", says Gar.
"Pardon?" asks Star Fire, looking around in a confused way "Who's talking?"
Gar gets ready to fire another arrow,
Cyborg leans in to read the writing on it "Patriot arrow?"
Gar grins and starts to fire his arrow, only to have Galfore stomp on his foot, making the arrow shoot into the sky. Mammoth growls and punches Galfore, knocking him out. The arrow, meanwhile, turns around in the sky and comes down under the crowd, making them stand up in a demented Mexican wave. It does the same to the Royal booth and another stand before passing the target, turning around with a screech and slamming into the bulls-eye, blowing Galfore's arrow to bits.
"Yeees", shouts Raven, pumping the air in an un-ladylike fashion.
The crowd goes nuts, while Adonis pouts and Robin fumes. Having enough, Robin stands up.
"Arrest him", he shouts.
Suddenly, Terra, Sarasim, Gizmo and See-more appear, surrounding Gar. While Immortus, Madam Rouge and Le Blanc drag away the Merry Titans. Robin steps down from the Royal stand.
"Logan is a traitor to the crown", growls Robin "It'll be so much fun to watch you hang."
"Wait", shouts Raven, standing up.
They all pause to look at her.
"What for", asks Robin.
"If you promise not to kill Garfield, I'll do the most vile, foul, nauseatingly nastiest, disgusting thing I can think of".
"Oh and what's that", asks Robin.
"I shall marry you", says Raven.
"You'll be mine? You'll give yourself to me every night and sometimes...right after lunch," says Robin.
Holding her head up high "But only my body. You can never have my mind, my body, my heart or my soul," says Raven.
"Oh yes, yes", says Robin with a nod "I respect that".
He turns to leave.
"Raven, my life's not worth it", begs Gar "Just say nay."
"Hah", says Robin "Walk this way".
He flicks his head back and struts off. Sarasim, See-more, Gizmo and Terra watch him, then look at Gar, all of them then shrug and flick their heads back and strut off after Robin.
"Send word to one and all and all and one", Adonis pauses"...that's a little redundant, isn't it".
"WHAT", shouts Control Freak.
"Shut up", snaps Adonis "Tell everybody that before the day is out, we shall have a wedding...or a hanging. Either way, we outta have allot of fun, huh".
The crowd cheer at Adonis, and the Merry Titans look on.
"We are grossly out-numbered", mutters Cyborg.
"Yeah, so what can we do", says Mammoth.
"We gotta get the Villagers".
"The Villagers", says Speedy "They're not ready to fight".
"Man, we are choiceless", snaps Cyborg "Hey, Blinkin, whats the fastest way to reach the Villagers".
"Why don't we Flash 'em", suggests Star Fire.
" Flash 'em", grins Cyborg.
" Flash 'em", laughs Speedy.
" Why do you guys like saying that so much?", asks Mammoth.
The Merry Titans walk off, Star Fire flailing her arms around until she attaches to Cyborg's shoulders and gets dragged along. We go to where Fang is feeding a wide-eyed and jumpy Kid Flash lots of chocolate and giving him plenty of coffee. He carefully hands him a note as the Merry Titans watch.
"Now Kid Flash, take this message to the Villagers as fast as you can", says Fang, prodding him with a long stick at arms length "Now, pay attention, have you got it".
"Yeahyeahyeahyeah! Runrunrun", giggles Kid Flash shivering in his chocolate-induced state. "GoVillagers. Delivermessage. Morecaffine! Hehehehehehhehehehehehe".
Fang gulps, stepping aside, as Kid Flash zooms off with a squeal, crashing through anything that gets in his way.
"Come on, lets get out of these ladies clothing, and get into our tights", says Cyborg.
They all suddenly whip off their dresses...
...To reveal their Merry Titans garb underneath
"Annnnnd cut", grins dumas4
"Shouldn't someone go and find Kid Flash?", asks Fang
"Nah, he'll just run around until he gets sleepy", says Draconus.
"And then what".
"He'll either fall asleep on his feet, killing thousands", says Draconus with a shrug "or he'll walk home".
"I think I'll book myself into a hotel tonight", murmurs Fang "...keep clear of civilization"
Sorry no Monty Python today, couldn't get it to fit right. Thanks for the reviews, and for the corrections. All mistakes have been corrected. R&R please.