Act twelve

We open up to the gallows, where Slade is prancing around, trying to find a noose to fit Gar's neck.

"Letth get thtarted." Says Slade. "Occupation?
"Stand-up philosopher." Gar replies
Slade "Thtanda-whata?"
"Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human existence into a viable and meaningful comprehension."
"Oh, a bullthit artitht!"
"Errr..."
"Did you bullthit latht week?"
"No."
"Did you try to bullthhit latht week?"
"Yes!"

"QUIT IT YOU TWITS!" shouts dumass4, "this is Robin Hood! Not History of The World! Now read the script! And Slade, why are you speaking with a lisp."

"What are you talking about? Thith ith how I alwayth talk." Replies Slade

"Can we get on with this, the noose is scratching my neck."

"Letth thee, are you about a 16 - 16 and a half", asks Slade "Heh heh".

He giggles and holds a noose around his neck to show

"You been eating whatever they fed Plasmus?" asks Gar nervously.

Slade ignores him, singing happily to himself as he ties a noose around Gar's neck.

"It's a little tight", gasps Gar.

"Wellllllll, thath the idea", laughs Slade "Would you care for a blindfold? How about half of one".

He giggles then lifts up his eye patch.

"Argghhhh! Put it back, put it back", screams Gar, closing his eyes "There's a reason why they make you wear one! ...I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks".

Slade laughs and kisses Gar on the cheek.

"Kill me, kill me now", whimpers Gar.

We hear an organ play and see Atlas walking down an isle, dressed in an Abbot's suit, Robin following behind him.

"I could kill you all with my thumb", mutters Atlas under his breath.

As he walks past the camera, he clonks it with the staff he was carrying.

"Was that necessary?" asks dumass4 with a sigh.

"Just putting out a point", says Atlas, matter-of-factly.

"Good Morrow Abbot", smiles Fixit.

"Good Morrow", says Atlas pleasantly.

"Welcome Abbot", smiles Kole.

"Morrow", says Atlas.

"Hello Abbot", says Krall.

"Good Morrow".

"Hey Abeeettttt", shouts Spike.

"I hate that guy", hisses Atlas.

Atlas and Robin make it onto a small altar, which is standing right next to the gallows that Gar is standing on. The music changes to the funeral march, and we see Adonis walking Raven up the isle. Adonis pauses and clicks some keys behind him, there is a blip blip and the castle gates close behind him.

"How convenient", grins Adonis.

Raven finally noticing the music just starts to laugh, and we see that Gar has somehow gotten loose and is playing the organ.

"GAR! Get back to your spot!" shouts dumass4

"Jeez, some people just can't take a joke." Mutters Gar as Slade refits the noose.

They get to the altar and Raven sees Gar standing, looking rather freaked out, with a noose around his neck.

"aawwww, now there's a naughty bit ah' crumpet", smirks Raven, "What's going on?"

"Just in case you change your mind, my dear", grins Robin.

"I would read this from the New Latin, but I don't feel like it so I won't, instead I'm just going to wing it", smiles Atlas.

"Yeah...this is exactly how I pictured my wedding day to be like", mutters Raven, crossing her arms.

"We are gathered here today, to witness the marriage of Dick the Sheriff of", Atlas pauses"...Dick? Your name is Dick?"

Everyone starts to giggle.

"Shut up, shut up", shouts Robin "Continue with the service".

"Okay", says Atlas, then adds with a snort "...Dick".

The whole crowd erupts into laughter again, we can hear the Merry Titans laughing from backstage, along with the Mafia.

"Dick", laughs Galfore.

"And you laughed at my name!" guffaws Gar.

"Shut up", screams Robin "OR I'LL KILL YOU ALL".

"...Someone's testy. Do you..." Atlas gives a sly smirk "Sheriff of Fruitland, take Maid Raven of Roth to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to hold in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part".

"Yes I do", snaps Robin "get on with it".

"And do you, Raven, vow to do all the stuff I just said to him", asks Atlas

"Yeah, when hell freezes over."

"GO RAE!"

"RAVEN", snaps dumass4.

"Sorry", sniffs Raven, getting back into character"...I...I...I".

"Say I do", says Robin sinisterly "or Garfield dies".

Over at the gallows, Slade waves at them and gives Gar's noose a few tugs with a demented giggle as Gar rolls his eyes.

"I... I", stammers Raven.

Suddenly, the Merry Men appear and Cyborg shoots a bow, snapping the rope around Gar's neck.

"I dooooo not", shouts Raven.

"Who's the Man", says Cyborg, boogying down "Who's the Man".

"Arrest them", shouts Robin "Seize them! Stop them".

"Hurt them, hurt them", chants Adonis.

"Look, the villagers are coming", shouts Fixit.

The crowd screams as the Village People show up and start singing.

"Well that was interesting." Says Draconus, "And now back to the show."

The villagers show up and start fighting with the guards. Gar pulls the noose from his neck and hands it back to Slade.

"I believe this is yours", says Gar.

"Well, you know what they thay, no noothe ith good noothe", says Slade, then laughs maniacally.

"I'm going to back away from you now", says Gar, doing so… slowly.

Slade runs off and Gar watches the fight from the gallows. Cyborg jumps up next to him.

"Nice shooting Achoo", says Gar.

"To tell the truth, I was aiming for the hangman", says Cyborg with a shrug.

The other Merry Titans climb up, a group of guards appearing at the bottom.

"On the count of jump", says Gar "Wait for it...JUMP".

As the guards run at them, the Merry Titans jump up, grabbing hold of the gallow bar, the guards fall off the other side of the gallows and end up face first in a bunch of buckets.

"Guys...there's a …thing in my …oh God that's not what I think it is, is it?!", whimpers Gizmo.

"That depends." Says Draconus "What do you think it is?"

The Merry Titans give a big high-five, but Star Fire's timing is off, so she misses them and ends up throwing herself of the floor.

"Oww", she groans from the floor.

The fight rages on, and we see that Robin and Raven are still on the altar.

"I shall have you, married or no", says Robin.

"Just what every girl wants to hear", mutters Raven. "Aqualad know you talk this way?"

"Yes… I mean no… I mean… Shut up!" stutters Robin.

Robin wraps Raven in a rug and slings her over his shoulder before running for the castle.

"Garfield, the Sheriff, he got your woman, man! He's going to deflower her in the tower", exclaims Cyborg "And cut", says dumass4

"Has anyone seen my bucket of 'toys'?" asks Aqualad.

Of stage Gizmo is heard screaming like a school girl.

"Never mind."

Sorry about the late update, between school and other things, i havent had much time. hope you enjoy! R&R please