Don't own Sonic or related concepts; do own Sabre and related original characters.

"Well, as captain, this leaves me in an awkward situation." said Amelia to her crew assembled in the lounge. "I really just don't know what to do with you, Sabre."

"She has a point," said Vulpis. "Though we know you're a sort of living legend, there is no record of your birth or citizenship anywhere on Earth, and if it wasn't for some old records and a slew of legends you wouldn't technically exist."

Sabre leaned back, and said "Wouldn't be surprised. I haven't called any place home for a long time. More or less lived on the run since my teens, in fact a lot like your sire." he motioned to Sonic Jr, who was taken aback.

"Hey, nobody really knows if he was really-"

"Enough!" said Amelia, "We have to stay on subject. I think I ought to check with the government on Earth-"

"Hey, how's Earth been since I was away? I hope those terrorists weren't too much for-"

"Shut up Sabre!" shouted Amelia.

Sonic Junior said "Wow, normally I'm the one she's telling to-"

"SHUT UP SONIC JUNIOR!" Amelia now yelled.

"Y'know, she really does remind me of someone…" said Sabre thoughtfully

Sonic Junior asked with interest "Hey, who do you think-"

"SHUT UP SABRE AND SONIC JUNIOR!" thundered Amelia, now out of patience.

Sabre and Sonic Junior both shrunk back in their seats. "Yes ma'am." they said simultaneously.

"Thank you…" said Amelia. "In fact, I think the best course of action is to go to Earth and take you to a government office where we can try to figure something out. You can even take a short refresher course to see how much has changed since you were frozen as well. Junior, you're responsible for our guest until we get this sorted. Alright, everyone?"

Everyone in the lounge nodded. Amelia sighed and started walking back to the cockpit to chart a course. "I wish I had a ship with a proper meeting room." she said quietly to herself. "And a bridge…"

A few days later, the Star Thorn arrived at Earth, thanks to the magic of warp drive. After a brief trip to a government hall, a long wait in a queue line and an awkward series of procedures, Amelia had authorised the doubly annoying duo of Sonic and Sabre to leave the building and explore Grand Metropolis while she and Vulpis completed the paperwork. Crusher had stayed with the ship to perform the perennial maintenance a starship requires, even one as small as the Star Thorn.

Sabre looked around as he and Sonic walked out from the building; Grand Metropolis hadn't changed all that much in the two centuries he had been gone, except it was even bigger, and it was already the largest and most prominent city in the world 200 years ago…

Sabre looked up at the buildings; the skyscrapers were twice as high as he remembered. Then he looked down from the platform they were walking along- the streets went deeper than he had ever remembered, Sabre must have been standing in the lower stratosphere…

"Pretty impressive isn't it?" said Sonic Junior, breaking Sabre from his spell. "A bitch to get around though." Junior got out a small device from his vest pocket and pressed a few buttons. Around thirty seconds later, a small hover-taxi pulled up next to them.

"Hey there, Sonic!" said the bobcat driving the taxi. "Long time no see! Where to?"

Sonic Junior jumped into the taxi, and Sabre clambered after him. "The place downtown thanks, you know the way." said Junior.

"You're the boss!" said the driver, whose nametag revealed that his name was Jase. Jase then slammed down the accelerator and the hover car rocketed off, slamming Sabre into the seat. Sonic Junior seemed unperturbed.

"You alright Sabre? Haven't you ever gone this fast before?" he asked.

"In a jet, yes. In a taxi, no." said Sabre.

In less than a minute they reached their destination, somewhere half-way down an inner-city block. Sonic Junior thanked and paid the driver and jumped out, while Sabre fell out the other side. Sabre got up as the taxi zoomed off.

The warrior surveyed his surroundings. They looked decidedly decrepit. This was obviously one of the older, seedier parts of town which the authorities had somewhat forgotten. Light came from nearby, where people were entering a pulsating club.

"Ah, my favourite urban hangout!" said Sonic Junior as he headed for the entrance. Sabre looked up and saw the place was actually called The Place Downtown.

Ah, a nightclub. This wasn't unfamiliar territory for Sabre, who got up and looked assertive as he walked in with Sonic Junior.

Sabre was stunned and stopped in his tracks yet again. The place was big, quite big, and had a bar, disco and gaming room all in one. And it was packed with people. Mostly young people, of all different races, colours, styles, attitudes… Sabre could barely take in the sea of clothing, hair, skin, fur, leather, scales and feathers, a huge mass of youth congregating to talk, drink, dance, mingle, gamble or simply waste time. Sonic Junior headed for the bar, and Sabre followed him through the crowd.

"One Blue Emerald, thanks!" said Sonic Junior to the bartender. Sabre looked around for a menu, found one and didn't recognise a single thing.

"Uh…"

"And a Light Blue as well." said Junior.

Sabre noted the drinks seemed to be named after the Chaos Emeralds. A moment later two martini glasses containing sparkling, crystal-like liquids were put on the bar and Sonic Junior picked them up, and handed the light blue one to Sabre. As they pushed their way to a table, Sabre asked "Uh… these things alcohol, or what?"

"Alcohol? No way." Sonic Junior answered as he found a small, empty table and sat down at it. "More like stimulants, plenty of sugar. You'd go for a Purple or Grey if you were looking for that kind of stuff."

Sabre sat down opposite Junior and sipped his drink. It tasted sweet, but very pleasant. "Nice." he said. Now he had a drink, Sabre automatically switched to tomcat mode, and scanned the room for prospective female targets. "So what's up with the girls in this century?" he asked.

"Oh, what?" said Junior. "Jeez, the legends were true… Uh, I don't really know, tell you the truth. I'm not that crazy about girls right now, I'm just waiting for the right time…"

"Any time's the right time…" said Sabre, as he locked on target to a curvy young lady wearing black who looked like she had a little canine blood in her. No matter the time or place, Sabre's tactics were universal, and took a sip from his drink, got up and walked over in her direction.

Junior sneaked over near him as well; he was interested in seeing Sabre's notorious seduction techniques in action and hoped to pick up a few pointers as well. But shortly after Sabre had just started, a musclebound youth also in black parted the crowd and stomped over to him.

"Whatta you think you're trying to pull, ya weirdo!" said the large young male. "You're talking with one of us!"

"I mean no offence pal, what are you upset about?" said Sabre calmly- though a good fight was as good enough a night for him as anything.

"Hold on guys!" said Sonic Junior, rushing up to them with surprising speed. "Uh Sabre, that girl and that guy are members of the Black Metals-"

"Grunt level street gang, I collected that." said Sabre. He turned back to the gang member. "Sorry dude, I'm from out of town, haven't had much Earth contact in a couple of years."

A couple of centuries, to be precise. Thought Sonic Junior.

"Hey, ease off Brek." said the girl. "This guy isn't half bad. Why don't you test him?"

"All right." said Brek the grunt gang member. "Can you handle a hoverboard?" he said to Sabre.

Sabre smirked. "Can you stand around and yell at people?"

"All right, meet me outside!" said Brek. "Friend of yours?" he asked Sonic Junior.

"Kinda. We picked him up a few parsecs from Centaurus. Long story which you probably wouldn't believe." said Junior.

"Right." said Brek, and he stomped off.

The girl followed him. She turned back a second and said seductively to Sabre "Don't disappoint me…"

Aaaaaaaaand- that's a wrap. Sonic Junior and Sabre switch between being totally at home or completely out of their depth, and Amelia laments that not only does she have a starship crew of three (perhaps now four), but also that it only takes two of them and her to run their ship. Haha, space exploration! Look out people, I'm going to be parodying everything from Star Trek to Doctor Who to Futurama!


Questions? Comments? Proposals? Lawsuits? Like my characters and/or the relationships between them? Hate the lot? Think the sun shines out where my tail should be? You know what to do people… but I'm going to say it just to be sure; REVIEW!

As for next chapter… You got nothing, McFly!