(A/N: Woot! I'm doing good! Nothing but positve revviews so far! And now, ON WITH THE FIC!)
"Now I'm just going off what Keiko told me." Yusuke said with a sigh, "So feel free to stop me if I go too far off track."
"Gotcha." Keiko nodded, taking a seat beside him and pulling Touya up onto the couch, even though he was perfectly capable of doing so himself despite the decrease in height.
"Yoru hasn't had the best experiences with men." Keiko said with a sigh, shifting her fingers back through her hair so it was in a makeshift ponytail.
"Point in fact, they sucked." Yusuke said bluntly, "From what Keiko told me, her old man not only walked out on them while her mom was pregnant, but Yoru was the one to catch him cheating."
"Tha's roit out, i' is." Jin mumbled, bringing a hand to his face, "How ol' was sh' at th' toime?"
"About nine or ten." Keiko said ruefully, "Old enough to be slightly naïve, but still have a pretty good clue as to what was going on."
"Her dad got her mom sick." Yusuke muttered, now Kurama was really paying attention, "And we're talking REEEEEEEALLY sick. And she isn't going to get better."
"He passed HIV from the woman he was cheating with to Yoru's mom, Miyasu." Keiko said sadly, "And Miyasu passed the disease to her little brother, Yuhi."
"HIV? Wha's all that then?" Chuu asked, looking confused as to why Kurama, Keiko and Yusuke looked so grim.
"HIV, and it's sister disease AIDS, are auto-immune diseases in ningens." Kurama said quietly, "Silent killers that attack the immune system and make it impossible to fight the common cold or even allow the body to clot blood properly."
"No wonder she gave us all such poisonous looks." Touya said, his icy eyes wide, "Yoru's father made her mother and brother sick. She must think all men are trash."
"Then why was she so nice to you, Yusuke?" Shishi demanded to know, arms folded across his chest.
"Because we grew up together, obviously." Yusuke said listlessly, "But she wasn't exactly what you would call friendly with me, wouldn'tcha say?"
"She was rather mordant, mazoku." Hiei said drably, "But then again, who isn't with you? Even your mate doesn't treat you with respect."
"Who's your mate?" Keiko asked politely, a deadly gleam in her eyes, "Why had no one told me about her? It's too bad you'll never get to introduce us…BEFORE I KILL YOU!"
"Sheila, we we're talkin' bout choo, love!" Chuu cried, quickly taking hold of the back of Keiko's shirt.
"Y' mean sh's nah 'is mate?" Jin asked, cocking his head to the side like a puppy, "Buh 'er scent's all o'er ya laddie!"
"She's not my mate! She's my girlfriend!" Yusuke shouted, now very red from his hiding spot behind an easy chair.
"Yes, gentlemen." Kurama said easily, going to Keiko with a vial of Calming Breath (which does exactly what its name implies) in hand, "They call it something different here."
"OOOOOOHHHH!" all other youkai present (minus the obvious exception of Hiei) cried, palming their fists.
bzzzzzzzzz...bzzzzzzzzzzz
"Heep!" Yoru squawked, sending a full glass of iced tea flying into her lap, narrowly avoiding the sea of homework spread about the table.
A stream of expletive erupting from her mouth, Yoru dug the cell (set on vibrate) out of her front pocket, wanting to know who was going to die.
Only seconds later though, she let loose a half-hearted groan of disappointment upon seeing the familiar number of her mother's cell, and mumbling to herself how it wasn't nice to off family members before answering.
"Hey Mama! It's that beat that make ya groove, Mama." Yoru sang, quoting the censored, American song with a smirk.
"Nice greeting." Miyasu snickered on the other end of the line, "How ya holding up?"
"I'm okay." Yoru forced her self to replied, trying her best to ignore the Nestea soup she was currently swimming in, "How's Yuhi doing? That relapse happened completely out of the blue."
"He's doing as well as to be expected." Miyasu replied in a strained voice, "They're still getting him stabilized."
"Knock it off. If you get overly stressed, your body will give out and both of you will be in the hospital." Yoru replied firmly, "By the way, I knew you'd forget, so I slipped your meds and Yuhi's into your purse."
"I knew I forgotten to do SOMETHING!" Miyasu cried on the other end of the line, "I better go take care that right now."
"Yeah, ya think?" Yoru in a smiling tone, "I'm gonna let you go now. Remember, Mama - Stress? Baaaaaad. Vegatating? Gooooood."
"Nahnahnah-nah. Nahnahnah-nah. Hey, hey, hey – goo-ood bye!" Miyasu sang before hanging up the phone.
Hanging up quickly, Yoru let loose an disgusted "Eeeeeww!" at the sticky tea mess she was drenched in.
"I guess I should be thankful I don't have to do all this over again." She said peeling off her soaked T-shirt (homework – "all this").
"Better clean this craptastic mess up." she sighed ruefully, "Damnit this sucks."
"Hey there, Yusuke!" Botan chirruped over the Communication Mirror, "Word through the grape vine is you're looking for Suzuki."
"Sheesh. No privacy, I tell ya." Yusuke snorted at the bubbly hisa-me, "Tell that thumbsucker he needs to get a life outside of annoying me."
"Why Yusuke, and here I went to all the trouble of rounding up Suzuki for you." an all too familiar voice said snidely from directly behind the mazoku, "If my assistance is so unnecessary, I'll just be taking him back with-"
"Koenma!" Keiko said, wrapping her arms around the Reikai ruler's arm (currently in teen form), "So good of you to come! Would you like some tea?"
"Nice save, Yukimura-san." Touya breathed as the ningen girl dragged Koenma into the kitchen, leaving an insensible Suzuki to his disposal.
"Alroight, Suzi - wakey-wakey." Jin grinned, grabbing a nearby vase and dumping the contents (complete with flowers) over the unconscious youkai's head causing him to sputter instantly awake.
"HWUH?" He choked out, sending a piercing glare at closest living object – the chibified Touya – which was an obvious lapse in judgment on his part as cold-as-ice one-thousand-nine-hundred year old, Shinobi warrior Touya was currently in a struggle for dominance with Ooo-what's-that-let's-play, fifty-year old Touya.
"Why're ya scowlin' at him fer, Suzi?" Chuu asked, cocking an eyebrow at the blonde youkai who came very close to having his balls frozen off if not for some quick interference from Kurama.
"Yes. The Juhyo Tsukai hasn't done anything to warrant your ire." Hiei said coolly from his seat on the windowsill.
"Suzuki-" Kurama began, only to be instantly corrected by the narcissistic youkai, "Very well…Beautiful Suzuki…as you can plainly see, Shishiwakamaru's meddling with the Idunn Box has caused Touya to revert to a child's state."
"Suzu…Beautiful Suzuki…" Yusuke forced himself to grind out on the behalf of his miniaturized friend, "You made the damn thing – why hasn't he changed back yet?"
"Perhaps because of the modifications he made." Shishi said in an I-So-Don't-Care tone of voice.
"Precisely." Suzuki said, taking Touya's tiny chin in his hand, "I've been tinkering around with the Idunn Box quite a bit to see if I could delay the effects of the Fruit of the Past Life."
"Well you succeeded…obviously." Touya growled bitterly from his current position (completely restrained in Kurama's lap), "But on to the crucial question…crucial as your fate rests upon it - do you know how to change me back or not."
"Wait it out." Suzuki said simply, making Touya's mouth form an 'o' of shock, "That's the one element of the Idunn Box I haven't been able to change. While the effects are prolonged, you should only remain as you are for a week? Two weeks tops?"
"Yer jus' guessin' aintcha?" Jin snickered, floating by with a grin on his face.
"No!" Suzuki retorted indignantly, "…I'm…I'm over seventy-three percent sure."
"…you'll die now." Touya said softly, springing free from Kurama's arms with an unexpected burst of energy from his anger-charged, childish mind (thank you, karma)
"Touya, be reasonable!" Kurama cried desperately, wanting to keep the peace, "Yusuke, don't just stand there! Help me!"
"Eh, let him get it out of his system." Yusuke drawled, "It's good for a growing boy his age."
"Y'know whuh won't beh good fer yer system, Urameshi? "Chuu asked with a sly smile, "When that' lil' Sheila in there sees whuh Toy done did t'her livin' room."
Yusuke appeared to consider this a moment, then darted forward and snatched Touya up by the back of the collar.
"Alright runt, knock it off." he growled, only to have Touya, currently losing the war against his juvenile instincts, turn around and bite his wrist.
"OW! SUNNAVABITCH!" Yusuke hissed, promptly dropping the Juhyou Tsukai hard on his butt.
"Urameshi!" Touya squawked, the pain snapping him back to his senses, "That HURT!"
"Well goddamnit, ya hurt ME FIRST!" Yusuke yelled back, drawing Keiko and Koenma from the kitchen.
"Um, Hiei-san?" Keiko asked tentatively, "Do we wanna know?"
"No." Hiei said nonchalantly, "You're better off not knowing. It's far too moronic."
"Gotcha." Koenma nodded as both he and Keiko turned on their heels and returned to the kitchen.
"Hey…I feel kinda funny." Touya mumbled, eyes sliding to half-mast, "All warm and…kinda…"
The other youkai present watched half-expectantly and half in fascination as Touya's body took on a faint light and began distending, but as soon as it appeared, the light faded and.
"Huh?" Touya blinked, lifting his still diminutive hands in front of his eyes." Wha-what is this?"
He looked into the glass of a china cabinet not twenty feet away from him in horror - a child of about seven ningen years stared back at him with round chips of ice for eyes, sage green bangs and ice blue hair.
"I'm only four-hundred years old." He mumbled, staring at his reflection with growing rage, "Suzuki, when I'm back to normal, I promise to be a good friend…AND ENSURE YOUR FANGIRLS ATTEND YOUR FUNERAL SERVICE!"
Yuhi - sunset
Miyasu - beautifully calm
hisa-me - female death god
(A/N: A run in at the supermarket, an unexpected babysitting request of the youkai kind, and a burglary? R&R!)