Xan looks around the camp, heart heavy as he sizes up his fellow travellers. They had all faced pain and trouble before arriving here to chase their muddled goal. Save the Sword Coast from bandits. Or something to that effect. Now the land is saved, the heroes won, bad guys defeated. If only they had been the ones to do this.
It's funny, he thinks, the pride of serving his beloved city seemed like enough when he set out but now he sees how empty a lie it was. The safety and isolation of the elves once was the natural order of things; the elder race needed to protect its weakening power from the lesser peoples encroaching every year. But Xan understands now that they have merely trapped themselves, prisoners in their beautiful, empty cities. They are no longer part of the world and no one misses them. Yes, there is surprise and initial delight when encountering the rare elf outside of his land, but that wears out once the arrogance and disconnection surfaces. Elves have no place in the world anymore and neither does Xan.
He does not know where to go from here but he knows it will be far away. He has not spoken of such but he believes Kivan understands this. Kivan, who lost everything including his chance for vengeance, and now is more shell than person. They had come to the bandit camp only to find the famed 'Heroes of the Sword Coast' had already been there. No sign of Tazok until news of the corrupt Iron Throne in Baldur's Gate and its connection to the bandit activity. And even then, they had only discovered that the half-ogre leader of the bandits had been killed along with most of the leaders involved in the conspiracy. So now Kivan sits and meditates and Xan feels empathy for the hollowness which cloaks his fellow elf.
Sudden movement to his right causes him to gaze over at Shar-Teel. Whereas the elves are vessels of emptiness the woman's large frame houses rage and hate, suffering and confusion. She has not spoken much to anyone save the priestess yet her haunted eyes and too-eager sword strikes betray something of her past. She claims to hate men and sneers at any act of selflessness yet Xan has seen her eye the paladin when she thinks no one is looking, and he can't decide whether it is a look of wistfulness or hopelessness. She has fought alongside the holy warrior for some time now and muttered a gruff word of praise every now and then, though this has not stayed her hand for mercy when the chance arises.
She is a slave to her hate, however, and she knows she will never be anything but a broken woman to the paladin. She will wander the coast, perhaps with Branwen, perhaps alone, but she has made it clear that she wants no more to do with men, especially weakling paladins.
Perhaps it is because when she looks over at Ajantis she also sees Garrick; the young bard laughing with the older man and spending much of the travel time regaling the warrior with his plethora of songs and legends. Ajantis travels south to become Sir Ajantis and the bard, known secretly by the others as Squire Garrick, follows. The two have become inseparable since this unlikely group banded together and everyone, not least of all Shar-Teel, has noted this. Xan thinks it might be their relative innocence which attracts them to each other; through the countless battles and disappointments on the road Ajantis and Garrick have managed to remain optimistic; he almost envies them their self-deception.
The last member of this fellowship remains a mystery to him. Branwen's fate of stone is more appropriate than Tranzig could have known. As the only women in the group it is not entirely surprising that she and Shar-Teel have formed a bond, yet this bond excludes the remainder to the point that despite weeks on the road together Xan has learned little of the northern woman other than her devotion to Tempus. He can respect her, for a human, as her dedication is pure and honest. There is no deceit in Branwen's eyes nor in her deeds; there is little enough of that these days. He almost feels a wish to have gotten to know her better before they divided ways but then he thinks to his people's self-imposed isolation and knows such a friendship would be doomed to failure from the start. Better to save any such effort for something with a shred of hope.
Kivan stands and as if waiting for some signal the others stir from their seats and ready their packs for travel. They have traversed the length of the coast, searched forests, ruins, cities for bandits and reason behind madness, only to have it taken away from them. They have done some good, Xan reflects, but it is not they who claim the title of Hero. He wonders what has happened to the group of adventurers whom he met so briefly in the Nashkel mines and who have since disappeared from all public knowledge. Rumours remain, of course, but then rumours always would. He can't believe tales of dead gods and mysterious kidnappings; another sign that his sense of reason and logic is wasted on this world which has turned its back on him. Or had he turned his back first?
"It is time, my friend." Strange that it is the normally taciturn ranger who breaks the silence which has lingered over the group since their departure from Baldur's Gate. He has agreed to travel with Xan to Evereska, at least for a short time, before deciding his fate. Ajantis is eager to find his way through Amn, and as ever Garrick remains a close shadow. Branwen and Shar-Teel are to head east, if only because it is not north or south. A weight settles in Xan's chest and for a moment he is confused by this odd turn of emotion. Surely he can't be reluctant to leave these humans? It has been an interesting few weeks but he has always had Evereska in his mind; he has been looking forward to a return almost since he left.
No, as he looks to Kivan, already walking down the path, he knows that he cannot have a place here. These people are the future, he is the past. And he is meant to be alone, anyway.
He does allow himself one look backward as he catches up to Kivan but his former…companions? friends? have begun their own journeys and look to the paths ahead. Xan can already feel himself start to fade as he blends into the shadows of the forest road.