Four Fun Games for Amusement, Chapter 4
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Naruto, blah. You know the drill.
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"I'm going home, now." Naruto slurred, before throwing up all over Itachi.
That was too much for Sasuke. He had gone through too much today. That was the limit.
And so, he fainted.
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Chapter 4
Sakura stared at the ground. There laid before her was Naruto who had passed out from drinking too much and had thrown up all over Itachi and Sasuke who had fainted from the fact of seeing his brother at a strip club for gays, lesbian, and bisexuals.
She sighed. Those idiots. Maybe I should help them up and take them home.
She was considering the fact until she heard Itachi.
"You fool! You just threw up all over my new Versace limited edition Akatsuki cloak. I'm going to kill you." Itachi thundered at Naruto. He had a wild crazed look in his eyes.
Screw that. They can take care of themselves. I'm outta here, she thought, taking a quick look at Itachi before leaving.
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Hinata felt great. Even though she was a bit flushed, felt a little dizzy, and drunk as hell. Adrenaline was rushing through her body. She had never felt so alive.
"Hey, you! Go get me some more vodka" She snapped at the nearest person, which happened to be Lee who had been signing photographs for fellow fans of his strip show.
Lee's eyes turned as big as saucers. "Hinata-san, do you feel alright?" He had never seen Hinata act in such a way. She was always to shy, not like this. Surely something had to be wrong.
"Of course I'm fine. Gotta problem with me being myself?"
Gulp. Lee swallowed. "But Hinata-san, I think your better off having a water, alcoholic drinks aren't very good for the mind and body -" Lee said starting to go on a full launch lecture about how alcohol was bad.
Hinata cut him off.
"Blah, blab, blah. Do you think I give a fuck? Now go get me some vodka before I cut off your -"
"No need to use such vulgar language, I'll get you some right now." Lee said, hurrying away from Hinata.
Lee raced to the bar. "One vodka and one water, please." He told the bar tender.
"Coming right up."
Soon, the bartender handed him two glasses, one full of vodka, one full of water.
Lee peered down at the two glasses.
They looked exactly the same.
Lee warily picked up one of the glasses and started to drink from it.
Hmm, the water has a funny taste. A lot like the medicine Gai-sensei gave me along time ago in that restaurant and to fight Kimmaro...
There was silence.
Suddenly Lee began to feel funny. He felt heavy and drowsy.
Huh... I'm started to feel really weird.
His eyes drooped and a blush began to form on Lee's cheeks and he started to giggle.
He began stumble and then his body poised it's self in a fighting mood.
"ARRGHH!" He cried as he beat his chest with his fists.
The terror was on. Lee was drunk.
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Hinata was getting impatient.
What the hell is taking that fuzz-browed freak so long? She fumed.
She wanted her vodka right now and wasn't in a mood to be messed with.
When I find him, I'm going to kill him.
Suddenly someone tapped her on the shoulder.
Hinata whipped around.
It was Kiba.
"What do you want?" She scowled.
Kiba, who was a bit taken back by her behavior, firmly said.
"Let's go home, Hinata this place is weird. And I can't find anyone else."
"NO! I don't want to go home." She growled.
"We're going, come on." Kiba tugged on her sleeve, dragging her away from the dance floor.
WHACK! Was the sound was Hinata's fist connected to Kiba's nose.
"OWW" Kiba howled as he stumbled and clutched his nose in pain.
"What was that for?" He asked her.
"Don't ever touch me with greasy dirty paws. Do that again, I'll cut off your balls and stuff them down your throat. And when I don't want to go home, I don't go home. Don't make me do things I won't want to do. I'm not that shy little weak girl, which you think I am. I'm tired of people underestimating me." Hinata screamed at Kiba.
He was scared as hell. What the hell happened to Hinata? Why was she like this?
Take deep breaths.
"I think you've had too much to drink, Hinata. Let's go home and take a nice rest. It's been a hard day." he tried to say soothingly.
Too bad it was the wrong thing to say.
THWACK! Hinata swiftly kicked Kiba in stomach.
"I said don't tell me what to do. Next time I'll be kicking at your nuts." She sneered at Kiba.
"Alright. Just leave me alone!" Kiba cried, trying to crawl away from Hinata.
She smirked.
Kiba closed his eyes, waiting for the last blow.
Luckily, Neji walked by.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked Kiba, one of his eyebrow was arched in surprised.
Kiba just whimpered.
"Anyways, let's go home. Tenten, Kankuro, Temari, Ino and Chouji had fallen sleep from drinking too much. And things are getting to rowdy." Neji continued to say.
Then he acknowledged Hinata.
"Hinata-sama, we're going home. Come." He said curtly.
"Well if isn't the girly man, himself." Hinata said, ignoring his previous comment.
Neji's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Pardon, me?" He couldn't believe his ears.
"You heard me perfectly fine, Girly boy."
"Let's go, Hinata-sama." he said gently.
"No. I don't want to go home yet. I'm not in a good mood, so piss me off or suffer the consequences, girly-man."
Neji remained silent, just staring at Hinata.
Hinata smirked. "Did anyone tell you, you're so damn girly that you could be a girl? Seriously, your more girly that Legolas in Lord of The Rings. And that's not a compliment.
Hinata-sama, must not be feeling well. Must be that time of the month for her. Tenten usually acts like that around during that time, Neji decided. And suddenly a very stupid thing to say popped up in his head.
"Hinata-sama, I know! It must be that time of the month for you. Have no fear, Sakura I know for a fact, always has some chocolate and Midol with her. On the way home, why don't you ask her for some?" He blurted out.
Hinata's eyes flashed.
Uh-oh. Did I say the wrong thing? I'm pretty sure I said the right thing, Neji thought confused.
"Fool. You are pretty stupid for a prodigy." Hinata sneered before promptly kicking Neji in the balls.
Neji moaned in pain, sinking to the ground, while clutching his beloved family jewels.
"Heh, you said the worst thing you could ever ask a girl, if she's PMSING. That's like your asking to get killed." Kiba said snickering, even though he was in great pain from his inflicted injuries.
"Shut up." Neji said through clenched teeth.
"But I wonder why she's acting like this, if she isn't PMSING. It's just not like her."
"Scary Inner self?" Neji suggested.
"Nah."
Suddenly, a light bulb popped up in Neji's brain. "She's drunk! And being bitchy is one of the side-effects for her!"
"You mean like Lee? I heard when he get's drunk he goes crazy and destroys everything around him?" Kiba asked
"Yeah. Speaking of Lee, do you know where he is?"
"I have no clue. I saw he a couple of minutes ago, Hinata was screaming at him to get her some vodka and he left after that." Kiba replied.
There was silence was Kiba and Neji put the two pieces of information together and processed it in their brains.
"Wait! You don't mean..."
"Yeah."
Oh shit, they both thought.
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Sakura sighed as she sipped her sour-cherry drink.
She swirled the dark crimson in liquid around in the crystal glass.
She was bored. Itachi had gone ballistic and started attacking Naruto for throwing up on his precious Akatsuki cape. He was probably dead, by now. Sasuke had passed out, and a mob of fan girls had surrounded him, making it impossible for Sakura to wake him up. They were fascinated with him, pricking, poking, and robbing his body of its possessions.
Gaara had vanished somehow and gotten lost in the crowd.
What a pity. He was a better companion than Sasuke and he is pretty hot, you have to admit. Sakura mentally smacked herself. What am I saying? I love Sasuke-kun, not Gaara, she thought going into Sasuke-fan girl mode. Eh, whatever.
Sakura turned her attention to the slip of pink next to her.
Tired of being unappreciated? What something more in your life?
Sakura snorted. Of course. Being a ninja and Tsunade's apprentice gave you some respect but not a lot. Her life-love was pathetic for example.
Well here's your chance! Come and take your chances of being popular superstar actress or model for the new talent company, Shizuka for free. That's right for FREE.
Hmm... That doesn't look too bad and it does look like it's legal. In fact it sounds, great. Let me check the date for the tryouts…
Sakura checked the date and timing for the tryouts, and where to go for the tryouts.
Hey, the tryouts are today and in two hours. I'm defiantly going.
Sakura sighed in happiness. There was no way she was going let a chance like this slip away.
She could almost taste it, the fame of being a famous actress or model.
Start of daydream
The sky was bright blue and the weather was perfect. Sakura was dressed in a black slinky number by a famous designer and wore diamond earrings the size of rocks and a diamond tiara.
She stepped out of the limo, smiled and waved to the adoring crowds. 'Look, it's the famous Sakura-sama!', a woman shouted. Fans waved pens and papers for autographs, handsome men looked at in lust, little girls and boys looked at her in fascination, each one in the crowd holding a mini Sakura doll or wearing an 'I Love Sakura!' shirt. Woman looked up at in adoration, wishing they were just like her.
Everyone wanted a piece of her. Sakura gracefully walked to the end of the red carpet and into the luxurious and famous hotel where she was suppose to promote her new movie.
And there they were! Gaara and Sasuke in all their glorious manliness, wearing pink tuxedos waiting for her.
"Hey." Sasuke said, he smiled at her and held out an arm. He offered to escort her. "May I?"
Gaara glared at him. "She will go with me. Sakura doesn't deserve to be escorted by trash like you."
Sasuke scowled and the expression on his face darkened. "What did you say, psycho boy?"
Gaara smirked. "Look whose taking. You heard me perfectly fine."
Sasuke growled. "I could beat your sorry ass any day?"
"Want to bet"
"Yeah."
Sakura smiled in happiness and she watched the two handsome men fight over her. Life was good.
End of daydream.
Life would be great, if it was like that. Sakura sighed in happiness.
"Hey bartender, give me another one." Sakura told the bartender, gesturing towards her empty glass of the sour-cherry drink.
The bartender smirked, "One coming straight up." He handed her another glass of the sour-cherry drink.
"Thanks." Sakura mumbled and took a sip of the bitter but sweet drink.
A few minutes later, she felt sad.
Why, am I so sad?
She touched her cheek and felt wet tears running down her cheeks.
Five minutes, she was fully crying, sobbing very hard, snot dripping from her nose and tears were flooding from her eyes for no reason.
She couldn't stop crying.
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"We have to stop Lee before he destroys everything!" Neji said.
Kiba grimaced. "I can't move. Hinata's kicks pack a lot of pain."
Neji tried to move, but felt a jolt of pain in the lower-part of his body.
"I can't move either." Neji groaned.
"Well, there's no way we can stop Lee. We're just going to have to let him destroy the place." Kiba said, sighing.
"Or we can hope someone else will stop him, while we are groveling on the floor in pain." Neji suggested.
Kiba snorted. "No chance."
"..."
"On the other hand, let's just let him destroy the place."
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Shikamaru sighed. Here, he was sitting on the couch, being responsible by refusing drinks and girls trying to hit on him, while everyone else, he bet, was getting drunk and laid.
Geez, how troublesome.
After fighting with each other over him and calling each other vile names for sometime, Ino and Temari decided to call a truce for a couple of minutes and went to the bar to get a drink.
Once, they got their drinks they returned to where Shikamaru was, killing any girl in the vicinity that was trying to flirt with Shikamaru. Soon they resume cat fighting, grabbing each other and ripping each other's clothes, calling each other creatively evil names.
But after, a couple minutes they stopped and suddenly immediately fell asleep.
And they just had to fall asleep on top of Shikamaru.
Shikamaru could move one off, but there were both of them asleep on his lap. Together, both of them very heavy. So Shikamaru couldn't move either Temari or Ino off his lap let alone get up.
He sighed. There was nothing to do, and he was bored.
He could only hope that they would be going soon and someone else from the Naruto gang would save him.
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Shino was attracting a lot of attention from the girls at the dance floor.
"Are you a male or female?"
"Is that an afro?"
"Are you human?"
"Are you an animal?"
"What's your nin jutsu specialty?"
"Why can't we see your face?
The girls crowded around him, questioning his mysterious character, while they oozed and ahhed over him like he was a new species.
Shino smiled slightly.
He didn't want to admit it, but he loved the attention.
It was nice.
He was an attention whore.
And besides, if they got to close or tried to take off his shades, he always had his bugs.
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Gaara was hiding in the women's bathroom in a stall.
Yes, the great Sabaku no Gaara was hiding in the woman's bathroom in a stall.
He was hiding from someone.
After laughing at Sasuke's misfortunate, he planned to flirt with Sakura some more and make her his.
But when he was heading, towards the bar, someone was following him.
It was very weird guy, who was dressed in a drag. He had Mohawk rainbow dyed hair and was adorned with black leather studded jewelry. He seemed to be a body builder. His gigantic muscles glinted in the strobe lights. He seemed to follow Gaara everywhere with a weird glimmer in his eyes and a lecherous look on his face.
Gaara was being uneasy, and decided to beat the crap out of this stranger before things got really weird.
"Who are you? And why are you following me?" Gaara demanded.
The stranger just stared at him with a hungry look in his eyes.
Gaara couldn't take it anymore. He focused all of his chakra at his fist and threw a punch at the stranger.
And the strangest thing happened, the stranger caught his fist, with a grin on his face, started to grab Gaara towards him.
Gaara grabbed his fist from the stranger's grasp and ran for his life.
He didn't know who this weirdo was and what he wanted with him. But it wasn't a good thing if he could actually stop Gaara's punches.
So instead of fighting, he decided to flee.
But no matter where he went, the stranger always found him.
And so here Gaara was the place where he was convinced the stranger could never find him.
For the first time in a long time he was scared.
That weirdo is creepy.
He shuddered and protectively curled himself in a ball.
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Nnnhng, Sasuke mumbled unintelligently.
A hand flew to his forehead.
Where was he? And why the hell did he feel so fucking cold?
Sasuke shivered.
Then he realized what was very wrong.
AHHHHHHHHHH, he screamed.
He was naked! Head to toe. He was only in his birthday suit. He had nothing on him, his clothes were gone, his accessories were gone, his weapons were gone and even his headband was gone.
Then he unconsciously remembered slightly what happened to him when he was knocked out.
Flashback
Fan girls crowded around his fallen body. Pricking and pocking him, like vultures around a dead carcass. The fan girls robbed him off his clothes and all of his accessories, fighting over everything.
"HEY, GIVE ME THAT" Sasuke heard one fan girl shriek at another, playing tug-a-war with his beloved Uchiha clan shirt with the other fan girl.
"No, it's mine; Sasuke-kun gave it to me!"
"He's not even awake! And it's mine because I got it first"
Meanwhile, the treasury of his fan club was auctioning off some certain items of his.
"Here we have a pair of out beloved Sasuke-kun's boxers. A true collector's item. Shall we start the bids?" Said the girl, holding up the pair of plain black cotton boxers Sasuke wore.
Fan girls immediately started bidding, hands shot up in the air and bids were shrieked.
"Going for 700 ryou, 800 ryou, no 3000 ryou! Going once, going twice... sold!"
Flash-forward
Sasuke's widened in fear.
They didn't? Did they?
His hand immediately went to his private parts.
Nope, they didn't divirginize him yet.
He sighed in relief.
But he still was pretty pissed. His face turned fire-truck red, as people turned to gawk at his naked body, his hands protectively covering his private parts.
Damn fan girls! They're going to pay. Why didn't Naruto or anyone save me for them?
Then he peered to his left, where he found a very much dead-looking Naruto on the ground, foaming from the mouth.
Oh that's right; Dobe was beaten up by my brother for throwing up on his cloak.
Sasuke scanned the part of the bar where he was left for the dead. There's was nobody from the Naruto gang there, besides Naruto, who was knocked out and beaten up with a terrified look on his face.
Sasuke sighed as he ran his fingers through his chicken hair.
Look's like he was going to have to rescue himself and Naruto, this time.
Suddenly, someone was waving his Konoha headband right under his nose.
"Looking for this?" Someone asked him, smirking.
It was Hinata.
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END OF CHAPTER 4.
What will happen next time? Why does Hinata have Sasuke's headband? What will she do him? Why is sweet Hinata acting evil?
And who's drugging everyone's drinks?
And most importantly, why is Shino an attention whore?
Find out next time
End of Chapter a/n: You guys enjoying this? I hope so. Let me remind you this is a crack fic, so anything can happen. Random. I was going to extend this chapter and let you guys see what happens with Sasuke and Hinata. I have some great ideas in the future, like Sasuke becoming anorexic and all that.
I was thinking of taking some of my new ideas from a story that I'm have come up with partly, in which Neji, Sasuke, and Naruto are all impaired somehow and fall for their next door neighbor's niece, Sakura, in a big mess, involving alot of cash and a very corrupted Orochimaru. Aw shucks, I might as well, give you the summary.
The Three Pals
Meet three pals whose friendship unravels when they fall for the same girl. Together, they've always been an odd, if closely connected, crew: Uchiha Sasuke who can't hear, Naruto can't see and Neji who can't speak. Nothing's ever come between them until now, though they'll soon discover that what they each think they want winds up being nowhere close to what they need...
This story is based of a movie I saw but is changed with a minor editions as such and will have added ideas of mine making it longer.
It will be a funny story, I tell you, and it involves Naruto clueless blowing up condoms in balloons, which he takes to a kid's birthday party for a gift.
So, should just take the ideas for that story into this one and not post that story? Or should I keep the ideas separate and post that fic?
You, my beloved reviewers decided.
Also, Lee being drunk was an idea from the anime, when he believe he's taking his medicine but it's actually sake and goes crazy and beats the shit out of Kimmaro. So I don't own that and please don't try to sue me.