I play the game alone; I'm the player that lurks near every group, waiting patiently to jump in and steal the reward of everyone's hard earned work. Sure some come to hate me, but there is always a hint of that fascination they had before they learned about my nature. I've gotten so many generous proposals but, as always, I turned them down with an arrogant scoff and a scolding of, "you should have known better."

Sorry fellas, Faye Valentine doesn't play that way.

Some say I lived what most would call, 'a lonely existence.' Well, I would disagree. When I wanted company, I went out and I found it. I can play any role - I can be any girl I want to be for the evening; and no matter what role I played, people always flocked to me. Of course, I was never really part of the group; I was always the outsider looking in. I was the one that was always left wondering what it felt like to actually belong.

But, from what I have observed, belonging makes one weak. When you belong you place other's safety before your own, a stupid move, since you will always wind up hurt the hurt one in the end. You're also not allowed to do as you please; Slowly, you begin to realize that your actions affect all those around you, which also leads you to realize that the actions of other people, can, and most likely will, end up affecting you...and usually the outcome is negative.

Heh, and people claim that relying on others makes you stronger - if only they really understood what it meant. But what can you expect? Everyone is so obsessed with wanting to be part of some group that they blind themselves to the truth. I won't fall pray to that, I'll make it just fine on my own.

That's why I never allowed myself to get close to anyone - if anything, it made it so much easier to make off with their valuables the next day.

Did it ever bother me? Hardly. I'm not the one who made up the rules - I just follow them. I'm no different than anyone else who wants to survive. We all take what we all need - it's really as simple as that. Morals play no role in this new world.

I guess there was just not enough time for regret or doubt to set in.

...until they came along.

The child, the mutt, the father figure, and the lunkhead.

They ruined Faye Valentine.

Maybe I should be thankful they came along. They saved me from the point of no return. I was becoming more jaded and numb by the second. People stopped being living creatures to me, they were just robots with no worth. My dislike and distrust was growing too strong to be reversed, then they changed it all.

Who would have thought that such a pathetic group like them would break me? I still find myself laughing about it. But, then, sometimes it makes the most sense out of anything since I woke up.

You see, we are all broken - wounded, in what seems to be, an irreversible way. All of us have a burden hanging over hour heads, one that seems to get heavier with each passing day. We cling to each other because we give each other the strength to continue. We need each other - we couldn't make it alone; our pride has kept us from admitting it so far, and we probably will never speak of it aloud, but we all know it's the truth

Just another unsung song of the Bebop.

From an outsider's perspective, we may seem like a very dysfunctional group; it probably appears like none of us want anything to do with the other - but that's just our cover. Emotions are too risky for us. We have to pretend to be distant to save ourselves.

Am I happy that I found them? I'm still trying to figure that out. I guess I don't really know what I have. I just...I never expected to find a home and I'm sure they never meant to keep me. It was supposed to be like all the other times, they were supposed to be nothing but tools used to help me advance my own life. All I wanted was their money, nothing more, but I ended up with something more than I expected...and now I don't know how to deal with it.

See, I'm a stray; an alley cat that wanders alone. I may look helpless and half starved, but I have a furry in me that rarely lets me down. I never relied on others because I never needed others. People were worthless to me, just objects that made one weak and vulnerable. I was perfectly fine living the rest of my life out alone.

...so what the hell changed?

What was it about them that made me change?

Maybe it's because I like having someone to come home to. As much as I complain about it and try to pretend I hate it, it actually comforts me to know that people are waiting for me to come home after I go out - even if they would die before they would admit to it.

I still remember the first time I realized what the guys were up to. It was really a moment of linking several different instances together - maybe it was even a low scale epiphany.

The first time I really noticed something bizarre happening was the night Spike came back from a three day hunt of a bounty. Jet was already asleep and I was getting ready for a night out. His eyes were blood shot and his shoulders were slumping forward, the guy was exhausted.

"How was the bounty?" I asked as I walked out of my room.

He grumbled something under his breath and took a seat on the couch.

"What was that?" I asked.

"He got away."

I paused for a moment then began to laugh, only furthering his aggravation. "He got away? After three days of chasing him, he got away? Way to go Cowboy."

He growled, "I don't need you're snide comments, Faye."

"Hey, I'm not the one who insisted he wanted to go alone on the chase, then come back empty handed. You blew it so deal with the outcome. Wait until Jet finds out, he'll be fuming, the reward was supposed to get us through the next week."

"I said I don't need your comments, Faye."

I sighed, he was obviously in no mood for my attitude. Whatever, I had a date with the slots to attend to. "Get some sleep." I said as I walked out the door. I had no time to deal with a foul mood Spike.

It was early morning when I decided to return. I expected the Bebop to be empty but was surprised to find Spike sitting on the couch watching TV.

"You're still up?" I asked him as I walked into the Bebop.

"Can't sleep," Spike answered but his voice and appearance betrayed him. His voice oozed exhaustion and it was clear that he was fighting to keep his eyes open.

Was he waiting for me?

Of course not, but...

Whatever, I was too tired for Spike's games. I looked him over for a minute before I decided to continue on to my room - I didn't bother trying to figure him out anymore. "Well, I'm going to sleep. Got to have my beauty sleep, you know?"

I cast a glance over my shoulder after I received no reply. I couldn't help but smile when I saw that he had fallen asleep on the couch. With a shake of my head, I walked over to him - he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, but then, I guess we all do. Sleep is the best way to escape your problems, it is the only time when you're pure, when you're not yet touched by all the sin and corruption of you life. I shook my head, it wasn't the time for such thoughts.

After a quick scan of the room, I found a blanket and covered him. For a moment I hesitated, I knew my action would be greeted with a harsh reply in the morning. Even though he rarely meant them and they had been getting half assed, his words still found some way to hurt. Still, like always, something urged me to take care of him and I gently placed the blanket over his body.

I resisted the urge to pat his hair and quickly walked back to my room. It really wasn't much, but then, nothing on the Bebop was. I'd like to think that I was destined for something more glamorous but my fantasy of luxury was falling further away from me, even then. Slowly, I paused and turned around, my eyes locking on Spike, maybe my life wasn't so bad after all.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a familiar crackling sound in my room. I paused and strained my hearing, trying to focus on where the sound was coming from. The sound had been a constant annoyance for a few weeks and I was determined to find what it was. After an aggravating period of playing find the sound, I managed to locate a comm until hidden behind several boxes near my bed. Upon inspection I realized that it was connected to Jet's room.

My fists clenched in anger.

The nerve of that pervert!

Without thinking I dashed to the door, then paused. The realization was like a truck hitting me. I'm not exactly sure how I linked the two actions together, it just made sense. An exhausted Spike staying up until I came home, the annoying buzz of the comm until every time I went out...the boys were watching me.

My first instinct was to be angry...but something was preventing me from feeling anything close to anger. I felt tears filling my eyes but I quickly fought them down. I wouldn't get too emotional over this. It meant nothing. It would change nothing.

It changed everything.

Of course, I refused to allow that to show. After I composed myself, I once again stormed off to Jet's room; that pervert was not going to get away with spying on me.

Before I could get to Jet's room, I was stopped by a very groggy Spike. The blanket I had placed on him earlier was wrapped around his body as he slowly made his way to his room. He paused when he got to me. We stood for a long time, not speaking, or even looking at each other. I didn't know why, but my heart began to pound and I steadily grew more nervous with each passing moment.

"Here." He didn't look at me as he handed me the blanket, and he didn't wait for me to say anything before he started walking again.

I couldn't do anything but stand there, loosely holding the blanket in my hand. He didn't say anything but that said it all. Where was the snide comment? Where was his mocking retort to my kind gesture? Why was everything changing?

When I was sure Spike had gone, I turned around, looking at his invisible train.

I was falling and I knew I couldn't do anything to stop it.

I was falling in love with a dying man.

No.

No, Faye Valentine doesn't love.

Sorry Spike, Faye doesn't - won't - play that way.

Sorry for the long wait
I am quitting my job soon and I agreed to work double days until I do - it ends this Saturday.
So, I'm not too fond of this chapter(especially the ending) but I wanted to get something out there for you guys. I'm going to continue this story, I have no idea how long it will turn out to be...or what the main story line is really going to be - maybe just Faye reflecting on things.

The next chapter will soon.