Bender sat in the grim ridden taxi cab. This thing sure had seen better days. The seedy looking human driving didn't look to competent either. The ride to Zoidbergs house was only 20 minutes, soon he could find a place to kick up his metallic feet, drink cheap booze and rob Dr. Zoidberg blind.

"So buddy rough times huh" Bender attempted making conversation.

"I's got it ok's believe it or not" The cabbie said adjusting his faded red baseball cap.

"Haven't I seen you before? You look really familiar" Bender said.

"I don'ts thinks so. I got's a fews brothers thoughs. Ones is a truck drivers out in the solars systems, ones a planet disposal technicians and one is also a constructions workers. Oh and my old mans, he's a janitors at Planet Express names Scruffy." The cabbie said lighting up a already half smoked cigarette.

"Scruffy eh? Never heard of em" Bender said lighting up a cheap cigar.

A few minutes more passed and the cab arrived at Dr. Zoidberg's new home. Bender had a feeling he had forgotten something. But what? He stole all the urinal cakes in the bathroom, even all the sporks from the break room. What could it be……ZOIDBERG!!

"I got so caught up in stealing stuff I forgot the stupid moron" Bender said.

The cab hovered away, it was too late to go back, plus Bender already wasted all of his counterfeit money on the cab ride. "Good thing I carry this master key" Bender said pulling out a crow bar.

He walked up onto the porch and began to pry the door open. Before he did something caught his eye. Zoidberg had left his house keys in the lock. This was going to be so easy. He walked into the house and came to an utter halt. The whole place appeared to be empty. The kleptomaniac robot began to tremble, and appear to weep.

Meanwhile at Leela's apartment Fry had assumed a position on the couch watching TV. Leela was on her knees scrubbing whatever it was that Fry stepped in, it was New New York it could have been anything known to modern science.

"So Leela when's dinner, I'm starving" Fry said, followed with a lengthy burp. "Mmm smells like tacos" he said admiring his creation of flatchelence.

"Fry at lunch today you ate almost the entire planet of Taco Bellasario 78." Leela said. "How can you still be hungry after you ate like a genocidal mad man?

"Well after this bathroom visit, I'm going to have plenty of room" He said patting his stomach. "Oh yeah"

The thought of Fry using the bathroom after eating an entire race of taco people made Leela cringe.

"Before you go destroy my bathroom, let me take a shower first" Leela begged.

Fry agreed to spare Leela of facing the un faceable. He plopped down on the couch and began surfing through all 9,000,000 channels on the satellite TV. So far, this place had his and Bender's apartment beat. There was no sign of giant mutant rats or the smell of sour milk. Fry's stomach began to grumble.

With a mischievous grin he heard the water pound the floor in the shower from across the apartment. Since Leela was in the shower, maybe he could sneak a quick snack into the living room. Sure she said not to, but the payoff would be great Fry deduced in his feeble mind.

Rummaging through the fridge he found a half finished grilled cheese sandwich.

"Let's get bizz-eee" Fry said to himself, the childish grin becoming more demonic every second.

He put it into the microwave and pushed a few buttons. These New Year 3000 microwaves could be a bit tricky. Ah ha success.

"Hmmm now all I need is something to drink" he thought. He found a bottle of what appeared to be red wine. This would make him come across extremely sophisticated to Leela. Not any slob could enjoy the finer things in life.

He searched for a cork screw but couldn't find one. Thinking back he remembered something the Professor had said. "Well Gilligan, it's quite simple. When heat compresses inside of a solid container the cap will pop off."

"I knew watching Gilligan's Island would pay off, eureka!" Fry said shoving the bottle of wine into the microwave."12 minutes should do it"

Something on the TV had caught his attention, apparently the Mets where headed to the National League Division Series. While absent mindedly hitting the selections on the microwave, Fry missed the self destruct message on the microwaves information screen.

He jumped onto Leela's couch and took a bite of his sandwich. "Phillip J. Fry you are a genius!" he thought to himself.

To his horror, the sandwich was too hot and he dropped it onto Leela's snow white carpet. He picked it up, but the cheese had already melted into the rug. Whew, good thing Leela was still in the shower. He ran to the kitchen and began going through cabinets, drawers there must be something. The sound of pots and pans began to fill the kitchen.

"Fry is everything ok in there?" Leela yelled.

"Yeah, I thought Id uh…….make dinner! I can't seem to find the mixing bowl" He yelled back.

"It's in the cabinet on top of the fridge. Be careful not to break my Martian China they don't make it like that anymore" Leela called back.

Fry found a bottle of carpet cleaner. Thankfully it did the trick, that stain would have given Leela a heart attack.

"Another disaster devert-"

The explosion rocked the small apartment. A plume of smoke erupted from where the microwave had been, and the bottle burst from the explosion. Red wine sprayed all over Leela's all white decorated living room.

"What in the hell was that?!!" Leela yelled.

"Dinners ready!" Fry said looking at the sea of red that stood before him.

Meanwhile Bender was still trying to compute why he was in an empty house in the depths of New Jersey.

"Its, It's not fair!" Bender wailed.

"What's not fair Robit"

Apparently Dr. Zoidberg had managed to make his way home. Despite Bender's precise timing to arrive early and pillage.

"Oh nothing." Bender said. " So….. quite spacey. Where is your furniture?"

"Furniture? Do you think plain old Harry Homeowner can afford furniture? What is this Beverley Hills?" Zoidberg began to lecture.

Three people walked through the front door the first man explaining something.

"This house is a real bargain. It was once owned by Mayor Poopenhiemer, before the elections of course." The trio stopped and gasped at Bender and Zoidberg "Of course since it is infested with ingrates we will most certainly lower the asking price" The real estate agent glared at Zoidberg.