Dear Mario,
Or should I say Mr. I think Jumping on Things Is Oh So Hard. Next time, I think I should save you from Bowser. I bet I could do it twice as fast, and in heels.
Anyways, I think you should know what Bowser is up to. His plan is to marry me so that when daddy dies, he will be the rightful ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. Imagine marrying that revolting lizard! Yuck! I don't know how he is going to get me to go along with this. You don't have to worry, Mario, you're the only man for me. Though Luigi has been working out…Err, forget that last line. You're my one true love.
You should also know that Bowser has taking extra precautions not to stop you from rescuing me. He still hasn't forgotten the whole clown incident. He has built a bunch of castles to try and stop you, though you can just go around them. There is a back door over to the left of the bushes. You see, Bowser figured that he couldn't get his mail if he didn't have a backdoor installed for the mailman (with his monthly Martha Stewart magazine coming, he wasn't taking any chances).
Hurry up because your ideas for something to do are totally not working. I tried knitting, but the goombas keep eating my yarn. And the whole rat poison thing didn't go to well either. Bowser is immune to it. In fact, he keeps it on the table right next to the salt and pepper. Thanks for trying though.
Love Peach
PS: If anyone offers you sandwiches, don't take them. Poor, poor Wario, if only he- just don't eat the sandwiches.