Dear Princess Peach,
Okay, listen here Princess. I work out too; I'm just… built bigger than Luigi! Also, you have no idea how difficult it is to save you're butt time and time again, you are lucky I'm doing it at all. Hawaii is starting to look really inviting.
Anyway, thanks for your advice on the backdoor. I suppose it sort of helps. But I never knew what good ideas Martha Stewart had! I learned how to make these great crepes…I mean, it's very hard to save you and I'm doing my best.
As for the whole boredom thing, I find it very amusing to really irritate Bowser by shaving off that ridiculous mane of his when he's sleeping or poking him continuously. Maybe he won't want to marry you if you do that. But stop complaining to me because I could be making crepes…I mean jumping on goombas than reading your pitifully long lines of complaint.
Oh yeah, I picked up Toad along the way. Though I am begging to think it was a bad idea. He keeps demanding piggy-back rides or he will drop the magic wand we need to turn your dad back into a human into one of the many pools of lava along the way. He is a lot heavier than I thought! Then he started signing Old Mc Donald and I can't get him to shut up. Why I ever decided to let him come, I have no idea. Oh, now I remember. He did that super cute, super irresistible, face. Plus he gave me a whole box of hot pockets and some AC DC tapes. Any ways, we will see you in a few days.
Sincerely,
Mario
PS: Did you know that you could make your own curtains for less than you spend on make-up? Gosh, I've got to get a subscription for this Martha Stewart thing.