Dear Mario (the worst boyfriend in the world),
FORGIVE YOU? Why the hell should I? I plan a giant party, I bake a thirty foot tall mushroom shaped cake, I get you new overalls with your initial hand embroidered on the pockets and a Green Day CD, and what do I get in return? NOTHING! You didn't even remember that it was our anniversary! I mean seriously, Pikachu even remembered.
And then there are your lame-o excuses of why you were late to the party. "Toad forgot the directions and took your gift." Ha! First of all, toad showed up early to help me set up, and second of all, he doesn't have ears so what is he going to do with the i-pod that you were going to get me?
The party was a big success; you would have known that if you didn't come three hours late. Donkey Kong did no dancing on the tables (except for the chicken dance but we understand) and Gannondorf brought twister and everyone played. Also, Toads Worth made some great food, including your favorite: shrimp cocktail. But since you weren't here I gave them all to Bowser. So there!
I conclusion, I am so totally not forgiving you. By the way, I got your present. A Blooper was exactly what I wanted- not! It got one of my favorite dresses covered in ink. Though I admit it might come in handy tonight; Bowser is having his relatives over and they love sea food…
Sincerely,
Princess Peach