Author's note: OMG I GOT THE CHICKEN POX!!! I didn't think that was possible since I'm like too old, ok so I'm a teenager but wow. Anyways there's my beautiful excuse for why I haven't updated in ages, pathetic I know. It's one of those times you actually wish your parents had gotten you all your needles, but no such luck. Anyways please review because you love me and you want my chicken pox to go away (don't ask how reviews will help they just will meehee).
She saw Olivia with her boyfriend, they looked in love, or as close as somebody like Olivia would ever get to being in love. Casey had of course seen them together a couple times before just because he sometimes picked Olivia up from work. When Casey had first heard about him she had felt numb, like billions of little ice cubes were running through her veins, pumping through her heart.
Nowadays Casey still felt regret whenever she heard mention of Olivia and her boyfriend, what was his name? She kept on wondering about what could have been, what might have been, if she'd been braver. If she could just let it all come out, everything she'd been keeping inside herself, the little secret burning a hole in her heart.
Christmas was coming, one good thing to look forward to. But yet this year it didn't seem so great, even though generally Christmas was always Casey's favourite time of the year.
"Case'?" Olivia asked one day in early December.
"Yeah?"
"How do you know when you're in love?"
The question hit her like a truck, a sudden surge of regret and pain ran through her, "Why are you asking me I'm not exactly old and wise."
"You've been engaged before; I figured you'd know about it."
Casey let go a sad and hollow 'ha', "You just do," she muttered, like I know I love you, she thought but somehow she couldn't bring herself to say the right words, "What's wrong, that's not a question I'd expect from you."
Olivia laughed lightly but she had a bitter look in her eyes, "I guess I've changed."
XXXXXXXXXXX
"What's wrong with you 'Liv?" Casey asked one day when they were walking out of the precinct together, since Olivia planed on giving Casey a drive home.
"You know, it's been rough since I got back."
"Typical answer from you." Casey muttered darkly, sounding colder than she'd intended.
"Zack and I broke up…he thinks I've changed too much since I left and hates that I won't tell him where I went." Olivia admitted softly sounding like a little girl.
"I'm sorry Olivia, I…" but she trailed off unable to think of what to say, she wasn't sorry, she was pleased, it was just one more chance to tell Olivia how she felt, just another chance for Casey to be too scared to take.
Olivia sighed and pulled out her keys; Casey almost did the same thing before she remembered the reason Olivia was driving her home, her car had broken down.
Olivia opened the door for her, and Casey climbed in, a bit awkwardly. The car felt colder than the weather outside but Casey didn't mind, she wasn't about to complain, not to Olivia. Casey couldn't let herself be seen as weak, but as Olivia climbed in Casey heard her mutter, "Geez it's colder than outside in her, I almost forgot how much I hate this car."
Casey chuckled softly and for once Olivia smiled back, her face looking beautiful and radiant as it always did when she smiled, or at least it seemed like that to Casey.
"Hey Casey, what're you doing on Christmas? You going to see your family again?"
"Mmm, yes uh no, actually, I'm not sure."
"Well you want to spend the holiday with your bestest friend?" Olivia asked hopefully.
"Always." Casey responded letting a thin smiled escape her, "But I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas?"
"I don't, usually, because my mother as you can imagine was never very religious, she thought the holidays were below her." She muttered.
"Oh…well then lets celebrate together like you said, unless of course I'm not your bestest friend." Casey said putting a childish emphasis on 'bestest'.
Olivia just smiled and shrugged, Casey punched her lightly in the shoulder, "What does that mean?" Casey asked jokingly.
"Relax, common let's get you home." Olivia responded finally starting up the car.
XXXXXXXXX
"Hey Elliot?" Casey asked the next day when she was visiting the precinct to see the Captain.
"Yeah," He grunted.
"Olivia's not around is she?"
"Sick."
"What are you getting her for Christmas?" Casey questioned.
Elliot took a moment to answer mean while Munch cut in "Don't answer that, she's after something. Again."
"What's that supposed-"
"Chocolate, her weakness." Elliot answered cutting Casey off.
"You've doomed us all Elliot." Munch said in an exaggerated voice.
"Shut up John." Fin, who was trying to do some paper work muttered, a little darkly.
"Right I will, anyways Casey despite how important 'Liv's present is the, Captain looks pissed, you better go see what's wrong." Munch informed her.
XXXXXXXXXX
"I might as well ask you 'Liv, what do you want for Christmas?" Casey asked.
"What and ruin the surprise?"
"I know you hate surprises."
"Chocolate, it's my weakness." Olivia said, smiling, "Well that and alcohol but I decided to leave getting drunk for New Years Eve."
"Of course."
XXXXXXXXXXX
Author's note: Well as you know due to illness I've been too lazy to type anything up for the past little while however hopefully people will still be interested and review. Hehe.