Dirty Little Secret
Chapter 4 - It Ends Tonight
How she had managed to survive all of her classes and not fall from her seat snoring, was a mystery to Rory. Yet when she entered the library to find some reading material for her next classes, she felt terribly tired. Sitting down in a quiet corner, the desk in front of her loaded with several piles of books, she leant back in the chair and sighed quietly. Looking around, she had problems to concentrate. Grabbing a book from the nearest pile, flipping it open in a desperate attempt to get rid of her exhaustion, Rory began reading.
But no words would sink in.
Groaning in frustration, she slammed the book shut again – which caused quite a noise in the silent library.
"Sorry", she mouthed, looking around irritated.
"Don't worry, Ace, you just woke them up again", she heard a voice next to her.
She looked around, smiling as she recognized the blonde coming towards her.
"Hey, Logan."
"Hey, Ace", he said, sitting down opposite her.
"You got lost again?", she smirked.
"Seemingly", he admitted, looking around. "But psst, maybe nobody noticed me!"
She smiled, tilting her head, glad about this little interruption.
"So, Ace, what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to read", she said, looking at the book piles in a mixture of frustration and guilt.
"Trying?"
"Can't concentrate that good lately", she admitted.
"Maybe you need a little time-out", he said.
'No, I need sleep', she thought.
"What about we go out tonight?"
'And that's not how I get some sleep!', she thought with a sigh. "Yeah, sure, why not?", she replied instead, smiling at him.
"Alright, I'll pick you up at seven, okay?"
"Okay", she nodded.
"Great. See you then, Ace!"
With that he got up, winked at her and vanished behind the nearest bookshelf. With Logan gone, she turned to her books again, shaking her head barely noticeable.
"And now to you guys", she mumbled, grabbing another book.
At a little after seven, a knock echoed through her dorm. She walked to the door, already dressed for a night with Logan in a nice little dress, her coat and shoes that she soon might regret to have chosen. Opening the door, she saw a smirking Logan on the other side. He came forward immediately, kissing her hello.
"Hey to you too", she said, after he had let go again.
"Ready?", he asked and offered her his arm.
She nodded and hooked into his arm, pulling the door close behind her, before following him along the corridor. They spent a lovely evening together. He brought her to a nice little restaurant, they talked a lot and it felt really good to be with him again – it actually felt as if nothing ever happened between them. After the restaurant, they walked around campus for quite a while, each one having pulled an arm around the other.
"So, Ace, you still need a little sleep?"
"Hmm, actually I think sleep is slightly overrated", she replied with a grin.
"Finn's saying the same", Logan chuckled.
"Is he?", Rory asked, falling silent after that, caught inside her thoughts.
"Yeah, even though he is the one sleeping the whole day after he's been away all night. How he still manages to not get thrown from school, I don't know. Finn's a miracle."
Rory wanted to agree, but remained silent.
"You ok, Ace?"
"Yes, yes, I'm good."
"But you're tired. I'd better bring you back to your dorm."
"No", she said, honestly disagreeing. "I don't mind walking around with you a little more."
"Well, alright, but walking makes me tired, so, what about we find some nice place to relax?"
"Mhm, sounds good", she said, looking at him smiling.
He returned her smile and bent down to kiss her. After that he led her into one of the dorm buildings until Rory realized which room he was taking her to. His dorm. That he shared with Finn and Colin. Oh dear.
Logan opened the door and led Rory into the room – that was packed with people.
"It's just Monday, but they are already partying again", he sighed, closing the door behind them. "Hey, Finn! Colin!", he yelled over the mass of people, until his two friends appeared, each one carrying a beer. "Hey, I told you two, no parties on Mondays, okay?"
"That must have slipped our minds, mate", Finn replied, shrugging, a smirk on his lips. That smirk immediately vanished when he noticed Rory standing next to Logan. She couldn't look at him and stared at her shoes instead, suddenly finding them very interesting.
"Anyhow, you better tell your friends to go now", Logan went on. "Tell them to come back tomorrow", he added with a grin.
"Colin, those are your friends", Finn turned to him. "Tell them to leave!"
"Those are not my friends, I don't know even half of them!"
"Why are they here anyway?"
"How should I know? You kept the door open!"
"I did not!"
"Just tell them to leave, alright?", Logan interrupted Colin and Finn.
"You tell them!"
"Damn it, are you two babies tonight", he addressed his friends, rolling his eyes before turning to the nameless crowd. "Listen up everyone! Party's over. Go find another place to drink!"
A moan went through the mass but one after another turned to leave the dorm of the three boys. After some minutes, the common room was empty again except for Logan, Colin, Finn and an awkward feeling Rory. She'd never expected to be in the same room with her two – how should she call them? Love interest? Secret? She frowned, thinking about it, causing some people to look at her in concern.
"Hey, Ace", she heard Logan address her.
She turned to him and smiled, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Finn and Colin were now sitting on their common room couch, fighting over the remote control.
"You look really tired, you sure you want to stay over?"
"Um, yeah, why not?", she replied, still feeling rather confused by the unexpected situation.
"Hey, do you want to watch Moulin Rouge with us? I want to see Finn cry again!"
"Hey, I was just crying about Ewan McGregor being that small next to Nicole Kidman!"
"Oh I bet you two would nevertheless make a perfect couple", Colin mocked.
"Who? Me and Nicole?"
"No, stupid, you and Ewan!" That earned Colin a hit into the ribs.
"You want to watch Moulin Rouge, Ace?"
"Oh I love Moulin Rouge, but if you don't want to see it, I –"
"No, no, if the lady loves the movie, than we love the movie too", Logan replied, grinning at her, before leading her towards the couch. "Guys, make way!"
Colin and Finn slowly moved towards the end of the couch, letting Rory and Logan sit down as well. Rory felt weird sitting down between Finn and Logan, but a quick glance at Finn signalled her that he felt fine about the fact that she came here with Logan. Even though that didn't make her feel any better. When Colin started the movie and turned off the light, she suddenly felt two hands on her knees.
Her outraged and fearful gaze met Finn who quickly removed his hand, making sure Logan hadn't notice anything. Rory threw one last look at Finn, half sorry, half irritated, but he didn't even reply it. The evening went past with more fights between Colin and Finn, mostly concerning Colin's urge to make Finn cry again and Finn's wish to see some scenes over and over. Rory didn't seem to care about any of this; she just sat on the couch, Logan's arm around her shoulder and watched the tragic love story on screen.
She hoped it would never end that way for her, with Logan being the Duke and Finn being Christian. How would Logan react if he would find out about her and Finn? Would he do anything to stop Finn from getting to her, like the Duke in the movie? And would Finn go crazy over his jealousy and fear of sharing her with someone else? Or would they switch roles and both suffer from jealously and fight each other? And what was her part in that story? Would she die at the end, like Satine?
"Sometimes I wish I could sing like that", she just heard Colin say.
"You don't! Besides, that wouldn't change anything about you, not to say, it would make you even scarier!"
"I am scary? Who said I am scary?"
"Oh I know a lot of girls saying that about you!"
"Who?"
"You know, I can't remember names, Colin!"
"Whatever. I mean, come on, Ewan can do it as well – and he got the girl!"
"He did not, she died!"
"Tragic, isn't it?"
"Indeed."
"Hey, Ace, wake up, the movie's over", she heard Logan's voice from far away.
She slowly looked around, blinking. The TV was blank again and so was the couch, Colin and Finn apparently gone already.
"Should I bring you to your dorm or do you want to stay over?", Logan just asked, jerking her awake immediately. Was he just asking her to stay over night? It happened not really often that she would see him in the morning after spending the night at his place. She just had to agree, no matter what other reasons might wanted her to go to her own dorm.
"I'd love to stay here", she said quietly, smiling at him, before he pulled her closer to him, kissing her and embracing her tightly. She leant her head against his shoulder, pulling her arms around his waist, looking up just in time, to see Finn coming from the bathroom, heading to his room, just wearing boxer shorts. Their gazes met and suddenly Rory felt guilty for lying in Logan's arms – and not in his.
She watched him breaking their gaze and vanishing inside his room. She suddenly felt the urge to follow him, yet she recalled in whose bed she was supposed to sleep tonight. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore her rising feelings for Finn. Just in time for Logan to let go of her. He looked at her with a smile on his face. Grabbing her hand, he led her into his room, only a door away from Finn's.
'Damn it, stop thinking about that!', she thought and followed Logan into his room, telling herself how lucky she should be. When he pulled her into a passionate kiss, she was sure that she would enjoy the night.
It was past midnight when Rory woke up again, feeling herself cuddled against Logan's body. She looked around his room, blinking to get used to the darkness. She carefully removed his arm from her belly and slowly slipped from his embrace. Making sure he was still asleep, she sat on the edge of his bed and grabbed her dress from the floor. Pulling it over quickly, she got up and left his room, heading to the dorm bathroom.
She wasn't expecting it to be lit. She slowly opened the door and looked around. There were the two shower cases, two toilet cabinets and the line of sinks, yet there was no reason why the light was on. That changed when the door opened again and a half naked Finn stood in the door frame.
He stared at her, before a grin broke from his face. She bit her lip and watched him coming closer, closing the door behind him. She couldn't help but notice his muscled chest and the towel wrapped around his waist.
"Hey, love", he said quietly, tilting his head at her worried face.
She continued staring at him, feeling how something rose inside her. It was then that the first tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and turned towards a sink, letting water run over her shaking hands before she splashed it into her face, bending over the sink. The water deafened her senses for a while, yet when she looked up again, she saw Finn standing right behind her, his face as concerned as she's never seen him before.
She looked at him in the mirror before she couldn't help it anymore. The tears came naturally, her sobbing growing so heavy, her knees too weak to carry her anymore. Rory collapsed on the floor, her face in hands, her crying echoing through the bathroom. She felt Finn's arms around her and how he tried to calm her by whispering to her, even though she couldn't understand a word. She couldn't care about anything but the hot tears running down her face, how her throat was blocked by a huge lump, how her head began to spin wildly and –
Suddenly there was a loud noise and the warmth of Finn's arms was gone. She continued sobbing, unable to see or hear what was going on in the bathroom. Only fragments came to her ears.
"Finn!"
"- not what you think –"
"- hate you –"
"- did nothing –"
"- could you?"
"Logan –"
Pulling her arms around her knees, she leant against the cold wall. Minutes later, the fog behind her eyes lifted and she sobbed for one last time. Lifting her hand to wipe away her tears, she then saw Logan and Finn standing in the doorframe, talking loudly. When she got up slowly, walking to one of the sinks to wash her face, they both turned to her, throwing her worried gazes. Yet it was Logan who addressed her first.
"Ace, you okay?", he said and walked to her to pull her towards him, embracing her tightly.
"I'm… fine…", she mumbled, leaning motionless against him, her hands dangling at her sides.
"Finn said you just broke down crying, what's wrong?", Logan asked, but Rory just stared past him to meet Finn's gaze. He was still standing in the door frame, watching them. His forehead was furrowed and he looked rather uneasy. She wondered how he convinced Logan that there was nothing between them when he had found her and Finn in the bathroom. Yet his eyes wouldn't tell her.
So she looked away again, finally answering Logan's question.
"I just had so much stress the last days, I'm fine now…", her voice grew steadier with every word, adding even more to the lie that was growing in her heart. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."
"Don't worry, Ace", Logan whispered, before he noticed Finn watching them. "What are you waiting for?"
"I wanted to take a shower, if that's allowed", he said, his voice a little too serious.
"Sure", Logan said and let go of Rory. Taking her hand, he led her out of the bathroom. She followed slowly, her steps insecure. When they went past Finn, she looked up to meet his gaze. His expression was unreadable, a fact that made her feel even worse. She looked away quickly, feeling new tears burning inside her eyes. Logan led her back into his room where they lay down on his bed in silence, he pulled the sheets over them and there was no word ever mentioned again about the incident in the bathroom.
Rory felt horrible. Not even embarrassed that Logan had seen her like that, also frightened about what happened between Logan and Finn that made Finn acting like this. She rolled onto her side, facing Logan's door. This meant another night without sleep.
She lay awake for quite a while, hours passed rather quickly. When it was already getting light again, she looked around at Logan who was snoring lightly, lying on his back. She slipped from the sheets and gathered her things from the ground, before she tiptoed to the door and left. She slipped into her shoes in the common room and pulled over her coat. Opening the door, she left behind the embarrassment and sorrows of last night.
This has been a huge mistake. She knew she wasn't that kind of girl. This was too much. She had to end it. Forget about both of them. Even though it hurt. Her whole life she has been learning from mistakes. After two miserably ended relationships she should have been smarter. How could she have thought she could be that kind of girl that didn't care in whose arms she fell asleep? Her mother had all right to be disappointed in her only daughter. She should have known better.
When she reached her dorm, she quietly unlocked the door and slipped in. She slowly walked to her room, opened the door – and almost let out a shriek.
There was someone lying in her bed.
She quickly closed the door to not wake Paris. Just standing by the door, she stared at her bed, before she switched on the light. There was a deep groan as soon as the room was illuminated. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched how a messy dark haired head emerged from her pillows, sleepy eyes blinking at her.
"What are you doing here?", she asked, her voice barely audible. She didn't know whether to be shocked or happy, yet she tended to choose the first one for she had been sure that she wanted to forget about all of this. But when she looked into his eyes, she wasn't sure anymore.
He sat up on her bed, his chest bare and apparently he was just wearing boxers.
"Finn, I don't know what to think", she muttered, still standing at the door. "Back there, you seemed to ignore me and now you're lying in my bed – hang on, how did you come into my bed?"
"I lay down, love", he said, tilting his head.
She continued to stare at him.
"Paris let me in."
"What??", she blurted out, gaping at him. "What did you tell her?"
"I told her it was a surprise and I kept bugging her until she let me in."
Rory eyed him suspiciously.
"I promised, I haven't told her anything!"
"But it's Paris we're talking about. She'll know!"
She felt the lump inside her throat growing again. Leaning against the door, she buried her face in her hands, once again overwhelmed by self-pity, sorrow, guilt and the heaviness of this new situation.
"Oh love", she heard Finn whisper when he got off the bed and walked over to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. She leant her head against his bare chest, feeling his warm skin, wrapping her arms around him, just wanting him to hold her.
"I can't do this, Finn", she muttered against his chest but he just shook his head, kissed her hair and held her even closer.
They seemed to stand like that for a very long time, before Finn finally let go of her. She looked up at him, her blue eyes clouded by tears. He raised a hand and cupped her face, wiping the tears away with his thumb. That was the moment she finally made her choice. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"This was a terrible night", she then broke the silence.
"Indeed", he nodded, leading her to the bed and taking off her coat.
They sat down next to each other, Finn's arm around her waist, Rory's fingers hooked into his.
"I just want to forget about it", Rory went on.
"What else do you want, love?"
She turned her head to look directly into his eyes, suddenly noticing how blue his eyes were. She never knew he had blue eyes - for the most time she had seen him was during parties and other night time encounters. She got lost inside the grey mixing with the blue, both keeping her rather hypnotised.
Without really knowing about it, three words slipped her mouth.
"I want you."
A/N: Alright, due to the fact that I already got 7 reviews and was even added to a C2 (damn, there are really that many Finn/Rory stories? I only knew the PDLD-C2 and there weren't as many... wow, this is so cool, now my story is one of them! Thank you!), here is chapter 4!
Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing, I love you all, this is so cool! I feel really flattered that you seem to enjoy this story!
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls belong to ASP, titles to The All-American Rejects, Moulin Rouge to Baz Luhrmann, Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman to themselves.
THANK YOU! Read on!