MEMO: The reason, I have to admit- the reason this wasn't posted earlier is because I HATE parting with you guys- seriously

You're my MOST supportive group (ever)

And I want to thank you guys SOOOOOO much

I've broken this up into two parts (and taken out my huge authors note with it, lol) because it was way too long, and I didn't know if you'd like reading through all of it-

Disclaimer: One chapter left. And because Alanis Morisette is so awesome- lyrics for "Ironic" belong to her.

Bella's View-

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think

Standing outside the doorway for me now was definitely one of the hardest moments, I found, that I'd ever gone through-

Renee's breathing was wild and coarse, not knowing what to expect in the doorway.

That was my mother I knew I had done this to- drove her to this…this behaviour from her was one I'd definitely never seen from her before-

She hadn't even done this when her two year boyfriend had broken up from her…and I- her daughter- was making her do this…

It was better now, I believed, if I really had been dead all along.

"You didn't order pizza, did you?" she asked Phil hoarsely, her voice only a whisper.

He nodded towards her silently, and shouted out, "Who is it?"

Opening my mouth to say "Bella," I shut it…I was lost for words. I knew what I was doing was wrong, coming to Renee's door, a completely new person, after letting her believe for the past two and a half years that I was dead. What type of daughter was I, I wondered? Seriously- how could I do that to her, and how could I be here?

Before I could react though, the door opened in my face.

"Bella," Renee opened her mouth to say, cowering behind Phil. "Is that really you honey," she whispered, "Is that really you?"

For the first time in so long, I realized I had made my mother cry.

"Bella,' she shrieked, hurtling through Phil's broken expression to come my way. "What happened?"

Still, I found, I was lost for words. Lifting my eyes to meet Phil's, I came to know what I had done to the two of them- just today at that.

"I'm sorry Mom," I whispered, hugging her. "So, so, sorry…"

"No Bella," she sobbed, "don't say that to me. When I wake up-" I froze-" I don't want to forget that I'm the one who did this to you, Bella Swan, and nothing's ever going to stop me from feeling guilty. I-"

I had stopped listening at this point then.

I remembered how when Edward had returned, I had believed he was a dream as well. And now when I was back- for real-, my Mom believed I was only a dream.

And so, I wondered, did I do the same thing to her, as he had done to me?

For all these years- though I'd only had months?

Biting my lip, I struggled not to make the tears fall.

This was all my fault.

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think evertyhing's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

Rosalie's View-

I had met Edward in Jacksonville soon enough, locating Bella's Mom's house.

"What happened to Alice," he asked, seeing me as he stepped off of his flight.

"She called your girlfriend a bitch," I laughed, seeing his shocked reaction.

"She did?" he asked, unbelievingly.

"She's really protective of you," I smiled, knowing it to be true.

"Oh," he blinked, "do you have the address?"

"Right here," I smiled, patting my pocket, and began to lead the way to the exit.

"Why are you here Rose," he asked, his voice suddenly wistful.

"The same reason you are," I laughed, throwing back my hair. "I love her too Edward, same as you, and even though you don't really have the guts to do anything besides go psycho," I snickered.

"That's not even funny Rose," he said, seriously, although he was smiling. I laughed at the fact that even he acknowledged it.

"Let's go lover boy," I grinned, jumpstarting the car and heading towards Ms. Swan's current residence.

Bella's View-

"Mom," I began. "I've been in India for the past few years. I haven't been able to contact anyone," I lied. 'But I learned Hindi," I chirped, beginning my rant on 'Hi, my name's Bella. I'm from some foreign land'- "You can't just say the United States there Mom," I elaborated, seeing her confused expression. "They don't believe what the United States does is right, and are really against a lot of the people from the town I came from. I-"

"Why now?" she asked, interrupting me, her voice barely a whisper. "Why did you come back now Bella, why not before?"

Biting my lip, I decided to tell her the truth. "Someone found me and helped bring me back," I said, not sure if I could say the name.

"Who Bella?" she asked eagerly. "If not yourself, then who? How did you escape the traffickers? Did your plastic surgeon help you?"

"Edward," I gulped, feeling my eyes begin to get wet. "He saved me."

"Edward?" she asked, looking back to see if she remembered the name. 'Your boyfriend," she gasped. "Was he one of the traffickers? I always knew he wasn't good. He-"

"Just stop Mom," I begged. "Can we please get off this subject?" I knew hearing his name one more time, and I would start crying.

"He did, didn't he," she snapped, believing she'd just unraveled the truth. "He sold you to them, didn't he? He, I swear Bella, he will pay for what he's done and I will person-"

"Just stop it Mom,' I cried, biting down on my lip. "He saved me from India, that's all! I swear!"

Why wasn't she listening, I wanted to ask?? Didn't she realize that I didn't want to talk about this- that he wasn't part of my life anymore? That I could face him, not here- not now? Why didn't she?

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

"Tell me the truth Bella, you know I'm always here,' she cried as tears were springing from her eyes. I knew I had caused them. I knew I had to tell her the truth now- at least part wise. For I knew, the only reason I'd come, is that she would know what to do.

"Mom,' I sighed, starting. "He proposed to me, and I don't know what to do. He-"

"He proposed?" I nodded. "He came all the way to India, from wherever he was- last I heard in Europe somewhere- saved you, and proposed? After all these years?"

"He loved me," I stated. "And I loved him and all, but I was never sure what to do. I-"

"What does your heart tell you to do?" she asked, suddenly sympathetic. And I knew I was right in coming to her, for she always knew what to do. What to say. The only problem was that I didn't even know what my heart was telling me to do. I was so lost.

"I don't know," I cried, covering my face in my hands. "I really don't know."

"Do you think you can spend the rest of your life with him?" she asked, removing my hands. "Do you love him enough for that?"

"More than ever," I cried. "More than ever."

"Then what's the problem?" she asked, confused.

"Remember when he left me Mom," I asked, "I think he'll do it again. He'll-"

"Do you believe he'd leave you Bella, after your married?"

"No," I shook my head, not knowing what to do. "Why are you quizzing me like this?" I asked, exasperated, knowing of course, that this was the only reason I'd come back. Suddenly, the doorbell rang then, and I got up.

"Phil'll get it. And just to help you sweetie," she said, getting up. "Do you want ice cream, that always helps you know?"

"No," I shook my head, suddenly realizing something. "I don't think I do."

"Anything else then?" she asked, hopeful.

"Hey Mom," I asked, suddenly curious. "What made you accept Phil's proposal?"

"He makes me happy Bella,' she clarified, smiling. "And he'd do anything for me. As I believe your Edward would do for you. Following you to Phoenix and all that, I recall. He-"

"But I don't trust myself with him,' I said, gulping. "What if he doesn't love me anymore? What if he got so mad that he-"

"Do you purely believe this would happen?" she asked, holding my face in her hands. "I know this is why you came back Bella, you can't hide it from me. But do you really believe this would happen- honestly?"

"Honestly,' I began, "I don't know what would happen. I don't know Mom,' I said, "I'm just so confused. I-"

"Do you love me?" someone asked, causing me to jump.

"I don't know,' I said, avoiding looking at his face, knowing he was here. "Damn you Rosalie," I cursed, whispering too low for my mom to here. 'Seriously- damn you."

She laughed. "I'm only doing what's best for you," she replied, matching my tone, looking down to meet my gaze.

"I don't think you are,' I shook my head. 'He's-" then I realized he was there.

"Do you?" he asked, ignoring our conversation. "Do you-"

"I'll leave you two to sort it out," Renee shook her head, gesturing Rosalie to come with her. "But Bella'll know what to do. Won't you Bella?" she asked, glancing once at me. Telling me to say yes- to follow my heart. Rosalie did the same.

I wanted to beg them not to leave, face on the ground and everything. Didn't they realize what they were doing was wrong? I couldn't face him.

I couldn't lie to him.

Couldn't tell him I loved him.

Because as much as I did, I didn't want to get hurt.

Not again.

And I certainly didn't want to be the one doing it.

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

NOTE: Last chapter really WILL be posted VERY soon-

A few days (live five), and I'll update- review though…it might be BEFORE five days (If I get enough reviews of course, lol)

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ONE CHAPTER LEFT!!

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