AN: I'm kind of procrastinating at the moment, so I'm writing this short drabble. I really should update my other stories. Anyway, kiddies, this is a T rated fic – sexual references here and there…though nothing as bad as you see on TV.

- - -

Prior Soul Society: Learning is Fun, The Answer (Part I)

- - -

"A condom is…"

No, no, NO. That was not going to work. He could not just casually define something like…that with just a dictionary definition. Yes, Ichigo knew the dictionary definition – not because he was a pervert or anything like that, but because they had all been forced to look it up during sex education. And that was the easy bit of sex education as well.

He could imagine himself saying, 'A condom is a flexible sheath, usually made of thin rubber or latex, designed to cover the penis during sexual intercourse for contraceptive purposes or as a means of preventing sexually transmitted diseases.'

There were too many words there that Rukia wouldn't understand – and what would be worse, was that she would probably extract from the dictionary definition the words she would know.

Ichigo pondered a moment. She would understand the words, 'flexible sheath' because that would be a term probably used with describing a soul slayer. She knew what a rubber was. She probably knew what sexual intercourse…Ichigo scratched his head and thought again. What if she didn't know what sex was? She knew what a penis was…or did she? That was a scary thought. Anyway, if she knew all those terms…knowing Rukia she would probably come up with a definition that went along these lines, 'A condom is a sheath made out of rubber, where males can stick their zanpaktous while having sex.'

That was not what he wanted. Besides, with the size his zanpaktou…she would probably think he was bragging about it or something.

"A condom is…?" Rukia repeated innocently, nearly causing Ichigo's eyes to pop out of their sockets. One couldn't blame him. If a girl – a cute girl at that – innocently said something like that to an ordinary guy, their eyes would probably be halfway to the floor, not to mention their jaw. Ichigo was just thankful that Rukia only asked him these sorts of questions – if she asked Keigo or Mizuro these questions…

He shook away the last thought, and cleared his throat. He had thought up a pretty good way of explaining to her – he would use her own medium.

A piece of paper out of Rukia's scrapbook(1), some colour pencils, and a few minutes later, Ichigo believed he had come out with a nearly perfect definition.

"Look," he said, somewhat proudly. His drawings were a lot better than Rukia's…though that wasn't that hard to beat.

"What is that?" she asked.

"It's a condom!" he retorted, trying to keep his irritation levels down low. It wasn't that his drawing was bad, it was just that she didn't know what a condom was in the first place.

"That is a condom?"

"Yes," he gritted out. Was she making fun of him?

"Ohhh…" she said, a look of understanding passing across her face. "So it's a skinny balloon!(2)" she exclaimed happily.

Ichigo groaned. She had discovered balloons not so long ago. Why, oh why did she have to make such a comparison now?

"But how come you didn't draw it tied up?"

He groaned again. He somehow wished that he didn't draw the damn thing so well.

"How does it stay in that shape then? Wouldn't it just deflate?"

His knuckles whitened as he gripped onto the table. There was no way he would answer that. Why didn't he draw it in a packet? No, that would probably lead to other questions, which would be worse than this.

"And what's it for anyway? I like the big balloons better, I think," she said seriously.

Ichigo nearly fell off his seat. Damn, instead of answering her question, it had simply made it harder…he closed his eyes and shook his head away from that choice of wording. It had made it more difficult for him to answer. He would have to try a different tactic.

- - -

AN: What is worse, Rukia being evil when she knows it, or Rukia being evil when she doesn't know it? Find out later. Oh, you may notice some of the words have a number next to them. That means there may be a fic about them later on, though those are totally independent of this oneshot.

If you forgot, the two words were 'scrapbook', and 'balloons'.