(All is silent. It appears as if no one is home. All of a sudden the phone starts to ring. It rings about 8 times. On the 9th ring Kitty rushes downstairs in nothing but a bed sheet. She picks up the phone in a rush)
KITTY: (annoyed) Hello???
(Split screen to Eric in an African Airport)
ERIC: Mom?? Is that you???
KITTY: (overly excited) OH MY GOD!!!!! ERIC!!!!! Oh honey!!! Oh … did you get those tapes I sent you??? Oh your father was so stingy about the fare of the overseas mail, but I just said you had to know the goings on here!!! Oh and you probably are wondering about Stephen and Jackie…well…
ERIC: (cutting her off) Mom??? Mom moms please listen to me!!!
KITTY: What what??? I'm listening porky mouth!!!!
ERIC: Mom I am coming home. Just don't tell anyone okay. I want it to be a surprise.
KITTY: Eric honey, why are you coming home???
ERIC: I'll tell you when I see you. I'll be in Wisconsin in 3 days okay?? Love you!! Bye!!!
KITTY: Bye!! (Hangs up the phone and is silent for a bit. She begins to scream and shout) ERIC IS COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!! ERIC IS COMING HOME!!!!!!!! ERIC IS COMING HOME!!!!! (She runs back upstairs shouting this)
(Theme song)
Forman Basement(Jackie and Hyde are down there. Hyde is staring longingly at Jackie as she flips through a Cosmo. She is wearing a very short skirt and a bikini top.)
JACKIE: (while reading) You know Stephen, I don't think it's ever been this hot before in October. I mean next week is Halloween and its like Pompeii out there!!!!
HYDE: (distracted looking at Jackie rather than hearing her) uh….huh…
JACKIE: (looking up from her magazine) Stephen are you even listening to me?!?
HYDE: (goes Zen) of course I am….Pompeii is a cold cold cold!!!! Place!!!!
JACKIE: (scoffs) See!! You weren't listening!!! I said it was hot, not cold!!!
(Jackie goes back to reading as Hyde gets up and sits with her on the couch. Before He can make his move Kelso runs in)
KELSO: Hyde!!!!! Hide me man!!!! Fez and I were at the hub and I put my pizza on his seat…and he became pizza butt!!!!!!!
HYDE: What???
(Kelso makes a noise before ducking behind the couch. Fez runs in)
FEZ: Where are you, you son of a bitch!!!!
JACKIE: oh, Michaels behind the couch.
KELSO: Uh!!!
(Fez runs over and pulls him up. Then Fez Bitch slaps him)
FEZ: That will show you not to mess with me
(Fez storms out)
KELSO: Man, I was just bitch slapped by Pizza Butt!!!!!
HYDE: Man this is a joyous occasion. Lets Celebrate!!!
The Circle(Pan to Hyde)
HYDE: man…I love celebrating…. its like Christmas, but better. Mainly cause it's cheaper and comes more than once a year.
(Pan
to Jackie)
JACKIE: So in Cosmo, I read that eating pickled garlic
with chocolate ice-cream will make it so you don't ever get
pimples….hmmmmm…Maybe I should call Eric and let him know that…He
might have his picture taken while he's in Africa.
(Pan to Kelso)
KELSO: Man!!! I got Fez Good!!! He sat down and was all like…I am Angry. You wont like me when I'm angry!!! Then he was the freaken' Pizza Butt!!!!! You know if I had Pizza on MY butt, I bet that it would look good. I mean…everything I put on me looks good. I would even look good if I smelt bad…..OMG!!!!!IM NOT GUNNA BATHE AGAIN!!!!
(pan to Hyde)
HYDE: man… that's just sick. I mean…I would even Dump Jackie if she didn't bathe. And she's good looking.
(Pan
to Jackie)
JACKIE: oh Stephen. That's so sweet. You what Cosmo
also said that If you walk around half naked people will pay more
attention to you.
(Pan to Hyde looking at her like that's a good idea)
(Pan to Kelso who is also giving her that look)
(Pan back to Jackie)
JACKIE: I think I am gunna go over to Donna's and cut up her Lumberjack cloths.
(Gets up and leaves)
Forman Kitchen(Kitty and Red are at the table talking. Jackie come is through the basement. Hyde and Kelso following her like puppy dogs.)
JACKIE: hey Mrs. Forman. Well, I am going to go over to Donna's thanks for lunch.
KITTY: your going to see Donna…. oh!!!! Fine sense you almost are all here and I can't keep it in I'm going to tell you! (Takes a deep breath to build suspense) ERIC'S COMING HOME!!!!!!!!
RED: (depressed) Eric's coming home?????
KELSO: (Overly excited) ERICS COMING HOME!!!!!!!!
HYDE: (Zen) Eric's coming home…
(Jackie says quiet. All look to her)
JACKIE: why should I care…he called me the devil.
(Walks out the sliding door)
HYDE: So when is Forman getting here…. maybe I could pick him up. You know, make it easier on you guys to get that party ready.
KITTY: (Looking so excited she could burst) OH that's a wonderful Idea!!!! I ….I am just gunna go get that ready now! (Leaves in a hurry)
RED: see what you did!! Now I have to help!
(Leaves and comes back throwing party things at them)
RED: Dumbasses!!!
(Leaves)
Donnas Bedroom(Donna is on bed writing a letter to Eric and composing out loud)
DONNA: …and Jackie and Hyde got back together. It was expected, but the best part was when Jackie's boob fell out of her dress. That would be funny if it did that during like…a football game or something. Those slutty cheerleaders. Anyways, everything is like back to normal. Except this new guy working at Hyde's store. His name is like Roy or Reginald or something. I don't know, but I think he's gay. Maybe he and Fez should be set up on a date. I'll looking into that…
(Jackie burst in the door with a huge smile on her face)
JACKIE: (sing songy) I know something you don't know…
DONNA: what? That Fez wears spandex under his pants. I know that…that's why he is so flat under those super tight pants.
JACKIE: not that…and ewww…. how would you know that?
DONNA: well this one time in my closet I found…
JACKIE: (cuts her off) what ever. I don't care. Anyways…. Eric is coming home.
DONNA: What?!?!?!?!?
JACKIE: yea!! Mrs. Forman told us just a few Mins ago. I don't know when, but…
(Donna leaves and rushes over to the Forman's. Jackie sits on the bed and reads the letter)
JACKIE: Oh My God…. she is so boring…and…. wait…is Fez gay???
A/N- okay so its short I know…. but I am in a play at school that consumes most of my time so here is some more of the story completely original…. So it probably sucks, but please review…. more to come as soon as I type it…. I know what I am going to do….
Next Time- Donna gets a makeover for Eric's return, and Hyde nearly goes insane from Lust. And More about Fez and being gay…