HER CAPACITY TO LOVE

Toby opened the bedroom door and softly crept in. CJ and Jilly were asleep, one curled round the other. Toby smiled at the sight; the two were alike in many ways and he'd forgotten that it was most noticeable in sleep, when their normally animated faces were finally at rest. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the sleeping women. He let his mind drift back over the years. Memories of him, Andi and CJ sitting around, putting the world to rights and Jilly always curled up next to one of them, joining in. He thought back to his earlier conversation with CJ, when he talked about Jilly's capacity to love. Loving everyone was her default position. Though they weren't demonstrative as a family, Jilly missed the genes on that score. She craved physical contact with Andi, Toby or CJ, like a toddler clinging to its mother at Kindergarten. Most nights she'd fall asleep curled up in either Toby or Andi's arms while they looked over work for the next day; she didn't need their attention, just their touch. And usually they would wait until she had the inevitable nightmares that plagued her four or five times a week. Then they would waken her, try to find out what she had dreamt and then put her to bed. Toby worried that she was incredibly insecure, but Andi always convinced him that she was just a tactile person, liked to have the feel of someone around her whenever she could and that as a child she used to climb into Andi's bed every night and snuggle down to sleep. He wondered if her absence later was, in part, why Andi had been so desperate to have a child; to replace the one she felt she had lost in her sister. Jilly stirred, murmuring softly, turning in CJ's arms to face her. Without waking, CJ quietened the girl, a hand on her head, her thumb running over the cheekbone. Jilly reached out and her fingers found the collar of CJ's blouse. Bringing the material to her face she rubbed it softly, drifting back to sleep. Toby smiled, remembering the scrap of material that was always under Jilly's pillow in their house, threadbare muslin with a satin edging, faded to a non-colour through years of washing. Her thumb was in her mouth now, the blouse scrunched in her hand, touching her face. Neither sister had been permitted to suck their thumbs as children; it wasn't until she moved in with them that they discovered Jilly did. Normally she only did it in sleep and was self-conscious about her need for it so late in life, but sometimes she would do it absent-mindedly while sitting with them, her thoughts a million miles away. Andi would lean over to her just as absent-mindedly and gently pull the thumb out of her mouth and a smile would be shared by the two. Out of habit Toby leant forward to remove her thumb then stopped; right now he figured she needed every comfort she could get.

"Ellie used to suck her thumb. Jed hated it." Dr Bartlett softly interrupted his thoughts.

Moving into the other room with Toby following, she continued "He was convinced he'd end up paying a fortune in orthodontic fees because she'd push her teeth out of shape. He did pay a fortune in the end, but on Zoe, not Ellie" she said smiling.

"Their mother used to put stuff on to stop them from doing it...you know the stuff to stop you biting your nails? It wasn't the orthodontic fees that bothered her; I think she thought it was a sign of weakness. She wanted strong daughters," he said sadly.

"And she got them; although I'm not sure that's a sound argument for her methods. I don't think Jilly's weak in that respect, but I'd say she is troubled. But Andi is obviously a strong woman…and stubborn too, I guess, seeing as she isn't here." Abbey said.

"I tried everything. Promises, blackmail, yelling. Not even being nice worked." he said wryly. "I expect she's gone back to the office."

Abbey lifted the telephone and punched in a number. "The White House for Congresswoman Wyatt, please" she said. After a moment's wait she continued. "Congresswoman, this is The First Lady, get your ass back to The White House please." She put the phone down.

Toby smiled. "You really had to say 'please'?"

Abbey laughed for the first time. "You should try it sometime Toby! You'd be amazed what you can get with it!"

CJ entered the room, yawning and rubbing her eyes and sat on the arm of the couch where Toby was sitting.

"That's the only time I've ever seen you quiet, Claudia Jean!" joked Abbey.

CJ grimace "I didn't mean to fall asleep; my head's all muzzy. I was a bit disorientated when I woke; it's been a long time since I saw her face on wakening..." she said. Turning slightly to Toby, she placed a hand on his shoulder "Did you speak to Andi?"

He brushed the tips of her fingers with his own. "Yeah. Not one of my more persuasive moments, I'm afraid. But she is, I imagine, on her way back as we speak. She was summonsed." he said, smiling.

CJ returned the smile. "She's sucking her thumb…I wonder when she started that again," she said idly.

"I don't think she ever really stopped, did she?" he asked

"When she lived with me it was only occasionally, not every night like before. I used to think she only did it when Andi was there to remove it… like she needed Andi to tell her to stop. But she always liked the feel of something soft on her face, that hasn't changed. Anyway, I'm going to sort out some stuff in the office and speak to Henry about the briefings, unless you want me to wait and try to talk to Andi?" she asked

"I'll deal with Andi" Abbey said, "but you should come back and stop Toby brooding" she smiled.

"Why change the habit of a lifetime!" CJ grinned as she left the room.

"You two carry a lot of hidden baggage, don't you?" Abbey said, half-joking.

"I like my baggage to be hidden. Apart from Andi. But she's a different kind of baggage." he smiled

"I'm going to sort out some coffee and meet Andi. I'll bring her in when I'm done."

"Don't hold your breath on that, ma'am" he said softly

"Toby...have you ever gone against anything I wanted?" she asked

"No ma'am…well, not to your face anyway"

"Well that's pretty much the basis I'm working on in this case too," she said, sweeping past him with a smile.

Toby took his ever-present notebook from his pocket and, with one eye on the sleeping girl, he began to write.