-1Chapter 9: Don't Stop Me Now
The worlds and systems buzzed by as Revan watched them morosely from the Hawk window. He had been over and over the Holocrons. He had literally pulled from them every ounce of knowledge. They now sat silently on a shelf in their demonic triangular shape.
He was amazed at how quickly he learned it all, but then some of it was never forgotten and instead of learned was remembered. Some of the lessons weren't even fully formed postulates or theorems, but rather ideas and abstract thoughts of the force and how it should be used. They were treasure troves of frightening ideas that would terrify the naïve.
Revan stilled, he could hear Bastila outside the door. She was indignant.
"You will let me in!"
"Refusal: The Master left orders not to be disturbed."
"The Master is disturbed!"
Revan chuckled to himself and spirited the door open. Bastila quickly sidestepped Hk-47 and shut the door behind her. Turning her attention upon Revan.
"We need to talk."
Revan turned, smiling lightly.
"And what shall we talk about?"
Her eyes told him that she was frustrated. In fact, she might have well not even spoken. Revan understood her problem from the pulse of her heart.
"What would you say if I said 'you have been avoiding me?'"
Revan turned away. He had; desperately.
"I would say your hair is pulled back too tight."
"Our link is not what it was. I cannot… I just don't understand you anymore. What I get from you is depression and despair, but I don't know why. I feel fear but no cause. I think our link is dead."
"How fortuitous." He said under his breath. "I don't under-"
"Revan!" It was the cry of someone who saw a dark shadow in a window or red eyes on a dark night. She was pointing towards the Holocrons. Revan shuddered relief.
"Merely souvenirs." He assured her. He felt her blood boil. It would never be the day when she would actually trust him.
"I think your lying! I think your betraying what you stand for by admitting these…deceits!"
Revan's eyes flashed upon her with ill-regard.
"I think your arrogant. Opinionated. And a staunch hypocrite." He started walking towards her. "I think that this mission could get along without you. I think your presence here is hurting the entire galaxies' chance at survival."
Her fists clenched.
"I think your lying." She repeated, barely masking her anger. "You've made all of this up! This whole mission is a ruse!"
Revan turned away and laid himself down on a nearby bed.
"You're obviously suffering from being a complete idiot."
Bastila sat at the foot of the bed and wrapped her arms around him. He almost cried. It felt so wonderful; like being cradled by the very soul of bliss.
"I love you. And you love me."
Revan tore himself from her just to see if he actually could.
"Whoever said that, was lying." He growled.
"You said that!"
Revan nodded
"I was lying."
"Fine!" She stood up. "I don't care. You don't have to love me. You can hate me forever. Just tell me what's happened. Do that for me; the old me, the one you didn't seem to mind."
Revan shrugged.
"I am doomed. I will die, thousands of light-years from this place fighting against something that can't be stopped." He took a big deep breath, held it in, and then sighed.
"What can I do? I am not Sith'ari. I'm not even close. I'm not a god." He gave an amused laugh. He thought. "But I have to try."
She kneeled in front of him and tried to look into his eyes, but he looked away.
"For the force's sake, what is it? Revan, what is this thing you can't stop? Paranoia?"
Revan grabbed Bastila by the cheek and caressed it.
"If I make a promise, one that I'll keep, will you set us down on Manaan."
"What?"
"I promise that I'll explain everything! I will answer every question." He brought her cheek to his and kissed her gently. "I promise."
They hugged tightly…wait! They hugged tightly? No. She hugged him. There was no return affection, but Bastila wanted it so badly. She knew that he had hugged her back, she felt it. "He must've!" She thought, as she left him there on that bed. She knew it so much she hadn't heard what he had actually said. He had said: "I promise I will leave you with every question answered."
Revan watched her leave. When she had left he simply sighed one last time.
DDOONN'TTSSTTOOPPMMEENNOOWW
Revan watched the blue celestial body, Manaan, sink into view through the transparasteel windows. He gave it slight regard. It didn't matter if they tried to stop him or if they forgot about him altogether. It didn't matter if he could simply walk into Ahto City or if they were fool enough to try to stop him. Subtlety was no longer worth the effort.
"Nasher." He thought. His mind remembered a silent taciturn Jedi named Nasher, Lungri Nasher. Black circled-eyes and raven-haired. Revan could remember no more, just the name and the ghostly visage that corresponded.
Revan glanced back into the Hawk dormitory and saw Nasher standing tall. His purple lightsaber was drawn and at his side. He radiated nothing, neither hate, fear, peace nor anger. He stood there with the dark emotionless eyes of an automaton. The vision faded, leaving Revan shaking his head.
"How can it be that so much is balanced on so little?" He asked aloud. And in his mind, as the Hawk descended on Ahto City, he wondered if Nasher was even still alive.
DDOONN'TTSSTTOOPPMMEENNOOWW
The loading ramp hissed in descent. He saw the hangar guards approaching, weapons bared. Revan destroyed their minds with a wave of his hands. Confused, they wandered back out of the door that opened up into the Ahto City customs corridor.
Revan sent another signal through the force. Any normal force sensitive would call it a wandering pulse, a natural occurrence; but Bastila called it a signal. The Hawk raised the loading ramp and fired it's thrusters. Revan watched it jet away.
Feeling the Ahto city guard close in around the hangar, Revan latched his stealth generator around his waist. He could hear the panel on the hangar door being utilized. Quickly he set the settings on high and pressed the activation switch just as the hangar door whooshed open.
The guards gurgled and stared for a few seconds at the total lack of intruders or even the presence of a foreign vessel. After their small minds accepted that they would not receive an explanation for the odd happening, the plodded back out the door. The door slammed home and locked, which was fine by Revan, as he was on the other side.
He left customs and walked out into the city. The lighting was dim and crepuscular, and the seas were topped with angry white-capped waves. The air smacked heavily of brackish ocean spray and all that could be heard was the harsh rustling of the wind.
No one was outside on the street. Irony had prepared a storm to scare away onlookers. It was after the next junction that he could see a veiled figure overlooking the sea. The figure turned so that Revan could see. An odd smile flashed on his face as he saw the woman. Her face made so many memories bubble to the surface that the very soul of nostalgia was caught up in the flux.
Her features were sleek and streamlined with no noticeable signs of age besides attractive streaks of gray in her black hair. Her attire was a long silky robe of dark puce that seemed to trail her no matter how she moved.
Revan reached out a hand to her, but she floated down an Ahto city tunnel off to the left. Racing at his fastest, with the force helping his muscles, he was in time to see her disappear behind a flooded alley. Revan burst forward and turned the charge into a leopard-like leap. He landed with a thud on a structure's dome roof. His hand grabbed the roof to keep himself from sliding off. Looking up, he saw her dive over the edge of the city into the water below.
Not even bothering to get off the roof first, he simply soared through the air until he hit a wave with a smack. After the shock subsided, his eyes caught blurry sight of his mother swimming into an underwater cave.
Revan stretched his air through the force and gulped it back down. He shoved the water aside as he dove deeper and deeper to the cave entrance. By the time he passed the arched entrance, the light had totally dissipated. He had to admit, Revan was surprised when he hit the pocket of air. He walked up out of the water onto dry rock and sand.