Notes: I've been slacking. I forgot I was moving in and stuff. Now that I'm settled and school has begun, it will be easier for me to write more, so never fear all! I shouldn't make you all wait as long as I did. That was rude of me. This chapter's kinda eventful... as a treat. In any case, I'm trying to be careful and keep from floating into major AU Land with this. If you see something that seems it would be out of sync, seriously let me know- point it out... so I can fix it. I got extra ideas on how to expand the story plot so that... is a plus. More ideas are always welcome, and THANK YOU FOR FEEDBACK. I appreciate it all.

Just for the records, yes- there are lines from "I Will Remember You" in here. Maybe other lines too, but you'll know- it'll be... Jossiriffic.

Thanks a TON to Alice (Icy Quackers) for the creation of Kat (and being the amazingist and most wonderfullist beta I knows! CAW -dies-). Danielle, I miss you. You better enjoy.

This chapter's for all of you.

Just the Truth

'...Our daughter.' Those words rang through his head multiple times. No matter how hard he thought- how much he tried to believe what she'd been saying, he was unable to. "Buffy... we never had- are you sure you're alright?" He stared at her now with a twisted expression that had crossed the threshold from being confused into more of a concerned glance. "Because I think I would have-"

"Angel... You- you have to believe me! I know nobody else will... I wouldn't even dare to tell them," she whispered, hugging herself once more. They'd probably think she was insane... but Angel- no, he'd at least listen to her. She couldn't talk to Willow... Xander- not even Tara, they'd pulled her out (of Heaven). Dawn was, afterall, who she died for... and she just wouldn't understand. Giles was having a hard enough time believing she was back... and Spike... well, the last thing he'd want to hear would be something with any remote connection to Angel. "B-but she was real... I know it because," Closing her eyes, Buffy shook her head, "I-I felt her... I saw her, I held her... I hugged her and God, I know I loved her."

"It doesn't make any sense," Angel spoke softly, disbelievingly. He didn't want to come off as bitter, but he was definitely skeptic about the whole bit. Everything she was telling him- it was all just completely inconceivable. None of it could have possibly happened, and they were both adults- grown up enough to be able to separate fact from fiction. Angel would have remembered an event this big, and if Buffy didn't even trust her friends enough to talk to them about it- it was clearly not something... remotely normal. Then again, what was ever normal between the two of them?

"And erasing a whole day that involved you and me does? Look, Angel... I-I... all I want are answers. Why would these... 'Powers' you speak of want me to know about something," she swallowed, shaking her head and correcting herself, "-someone... that never existed? O-or did it really all happen and I just can't.. can't..."

"Remember?" Angel finished for her, knowingly with the raise of an eyebrow.

"Yeah- that word... remember." Buffy looked off to the side, almost hurt. "That seems to be the common theme of things as of late, doesn't it?" Closing her eyes, Buffy allowed herself to feel lost in Angel's arms. That, at least, was one thing that hadn't changed since she'd died and been ripped from Heaven. The comfort and security that she felt while relaxing in Angel's arms eased virtually any problem nagging at the corners of her brain. Everything seemed so much easier, so much more conquerable- as long as she was with him. Then it struck her... almost like a bolt of lightning striking without remorse, "And you..." She pulled out of Angel's embrace now, turning to glare at him in the eyes, a shocked expression on her face as to what she were about to say herself, "..You were- God- you were undead..." Okay, that didn't come out right- but she was flustered.

"But Buffy- I... I am..."
"N-n-no... I mean..." Buffy tried to gather her thoughts together and formulate an easier and more understandable way of putting it her thoughts into words. "You were not... of the dead- you were-were living- alive!" 'He's alive, Cordelia.' "I swear... I think if I-" She closed her eyes, swallowing and moving her hand up to where Angel's heart would be, "I thought I could feel your heart beat." 'I felt your heart beat.'

It took as much strength as Angel held within him to keep his eyes shut and push away the fragments she had triggered loose from his head- the memories he kept locked deep within his brain, denying access to everybody. The only one who even knew part of what he suffered was Doyle... but he was gone now. It was better to erase these fragments, blot them out, rather than allow the thoughts to slice deeper. "Look Buffy, we both know that's not possible."

It was too late, the bargaining. Buffy had actually tuned him out already and had opened her eyes to stare blankly at his chest in disbelief of what she'd just said. Somehow, everything seemed so vaguely familiar- so close... yet still so far away. It was frustrating, to say the least. Everything in the past few days- and the three months she'd been dead... it was all tampering with her head and emotions. Her carefully placed palm balled up into a fist against his chest and she pressed her head against it, despite everything. It was finally then that she allowed herself to break down completely. So much had happened, she'd been through too much. Now, she was expected to stand strong and do her job. Buffy the vampire slayer had to go and fight the fight, slay the vamps and nasties, and still worry about what her sister would be eating for breakfast. "I can't do this anymore... I just- I just... I want to die."

"You know, I would just love to help you with that..."

Angel snapped his head over towards the direction of the voice, pulling Buffy closer to him in what appeared to be some sort of protective stance. "Lilah," Angel growled, narrowing his eyes at the Wolfram and Hart employee with distaste and a fiery rage that caused him only to clutch Buffy tighter.

He didn't have time to react to what the woman had in store for him- well, Buffy and him. The last thing he saw before he fell to the ground dazed, was a very blurry Buffy.

---

Angel began to regain his focus only to find that whatever was happening in front of him... had absolutely no effect on him. He was just... forced to watch from the sidelines. Shaking his head groggily, he perked up to hear a conversation between... well, him and... Giles.

"I suppose what I am asking is... Do you have the strength to let her go again?" Giles lifted his eyes to meet Angel's, his face sternly made up. "Because if the ritual is not performed correctly and you are even the slightest bit uncertain with the choice you are making-"

"I'm positive." Angel replied dryly, cutting the man off. Sure, Angel was his elder as far as years went, but the wisdom of Giles never really ceased to amaze the guy. Still, he did not need the educated englishman laying the consequences out before him again, constantly reminding him of the outcome. No, he didn't want to give up his chances with Buffy but... how could they be together if the cost is her life? The lives of others? Angel raised two fingers defensively, however, to make sure that Giles didn't foget a point he was about to make, "If something goes wrong, she never needs to know. She shouldn't have to."

"I agree." Giles walked over to the counter and pulled out one of the books he'd been studying. "Now, I would ask Willow to assist us, but as of late I simply don't trust her. She has been abusing magic for sometime now. The last thing we need is for her to get her hands on the dark manuscripts required to perform this spell. Angel, I needn't remind you that if something were to go wrong-"

"I know the risks," Angel cut in rashly, "Been there, done that. Even so, I can't risk anyone else being put in danger. Not Kat, not Buffy, not her friends- Hell, I don't even feel good putting you on the limb."

"Yes, well, some sacrifices are necessary for the greater good of mankind," Giles heaved a sigh, looking over at Angel. "I'm trained to do what Buffy's not prepared to do." 'But I've sworn to protect this sorry world, and sometimes that means saying and doing ... what other people can't. What they shouldn't have to.'

"Always the hero," Angel smirked over at Giles, knowingly. "We do... what we have to..." Pausing a few moments, he continued as if he'd never stopped, "-not because we can or because we want to but... because it's necessary. You and Wesley- alike in more ways than you're willing to admit."

"I do resent that," Giles muttered, paging through the text now, actually half-ignoring Angel. Everything had to go right. If they would have gotten Buffy involved in this, there was no way she would possibly approve of their steps. Then again, this was a last resort. With the weight of the world on your shoulders, sometimes choices had to be made...

Angel closed his eyes. He'd thought very hard about that day... the day he'd finally turned human. He had to focus and erase everything from his mind... except that moment. There was no margin for error. The spell would allow the anchor to merge their thoughts with another being. The catch, of course, was that the creature had to be at least part demon, and currently dead. That left Angel with two choices- two different confrontations that he was able to get his message across- but the most effective wasn't through his half-demon heroic sidekick Doyle. Nope, Angel had one shot- and he had to be sure this would work. Sometimes the most important tips came from the least expected places... and that was what Angel had to count on. "I'm ready," he stated flatly.

Giles obediently nodded, beginning the ritual with the obscene hand gestures and an amazingly accurate Latin tongue.

--Spell--

Okay, wow. It hit Angel with a jolt, and suddenly he was at a different place, a different time, exactly how it'd been laid out in his mind. Those demonic bluish-green eyes blazing down at him, the Mohra's foot placed atop his neck, effectively choking his human body. There was a difference this time, however. Angel wasn't looking up at those fiery green eyes... he was looking down at- himself. So far, the spell was working. As painful as the scene looked and exactly as he'd remembered it all, Angel was unallowed to alter the physical state of anything in the memories. If that happened, a temporal tear could rip through the fabric of other realms, causing chaos. He had to bear with the choices the demon made, while trying to influence himself to make a different choice- but with words.

Originally, the Mohra demon hadn't even bothered to speak to neither him nor Buffy, but after researching Mohra demons, Giles had pointed out to Angel that they were not incapable of speech. Angel only hoped that they spoke English- or at least a language he'd be able to understand. Then again, that's what the whole taking-over-of the mind thing was meant to help with, right? Now... what do you say to your past self to get some attention? Perhaps he should sputter something about the impending apocalypse. Aha! "The end of days has begun and can't be stopped. For any one of us that falls, TEN shall rise." Now if that didn't get his attention, he didn't know what would. Sure, that ten shall rise business was a tad bit of improv, but it sounded urgent.

Angel felt the Mohra's body preparing to stab his past self, but right on cue, Buffy jumped onto it's body and knocked the demon over to the side. Angel couldn't help but feel himself beaming at Buffy's protective stance, and the comment that followed. "You hurt my boyfriend."

It was time to get more warnings in... time was of the essence. He needed another catchy phrase... perhaps, "A great darkness is coming." So it was pretty vague, but still... it was vague enough to need to be questioned.

Already, he could feel the course of history altering slightly. Buffy's comeback was unexpected, but it sounded not only natural- but it was a good one, "You got that right." He could feel every blow delivered in their fight... and Buffy definitely was a force to be reckoned with... especially in this demon's body. She was even feeling confident to raise the challenge, "Come on, this is the great warrior of darkness?"

Just when Angel decided his warning was finished, the course of the battle changed a bit. He felt he had to stick around and catch the outcome... because if, somehow, he'd managed to cause Buffy to lose- he'd never forgive himself. Fighting then ensued, and it actually felt like Buffy was losing- and that was definitely not an outcome he was aiming for. He felt the Mohra throw Buffy into the wall, and Angel flinched after watching the display. The Mohra then made a snide comment all on it's own.. A comment, that Angel realized, was actually quite true... and a very good observation on the demon's part, "Together you were powerful. Alone, you are dead." As he felt the demon pick Buffy up by the throat, all Angel could think to himself was... 'anytime now... anytime!' "What do you think of the great warrior now?" it sneered, staring into Buffy's terrified gaze.

"Little bland," Angel called from the other side od the silo. He picked up salt and tossed it at the demon, blinding him. "Needs salt."

Angel moved to assist Buffy, but the Mohra ended up tossing him across the silo, only getting Buffy angrier at him. The fight continued, but this time, Angel could feel that Buffy was going to win this. He had no idea why he doubted her in the first place, but frankly the look in her eyes had terrified him earlier.

"The light of a thousand eyes.. The jewel in its forehead! You have to smash the jewel," Angel beamed as he heard himself make the observation in the corner... and not a moment too soon. They had it then, now it was up to his decision... well, that and fate.

Angel closed his eyes, focusing on returning back to the Magic Box, where Giles stood, awaiting Angel's command. Angel's eyes snapped open, and he shouted over to Giles, "BREAK IT!"

Immediately, Giles shattered the gem he'd been holding in his hands, and the spell was complete. The man looked over at Angel, hopeful.

"I- it succeeded... I think, I could feel it altering, things changing. We don't have much time and- I don't know what's going to happen but.. I got the warning across."

"We probably will never even know if it worked. We can only begin-" Giles started, but was stopped as soon as a blonde figure entered the room with her arms crossed, looking pretty serious- and hurt.

"How about by giving me an explanation?... because something tells me there's a reason I didn't get the memo about a candle-lit buffet at the Magic Box." Buffy looked around quietly, as if waiting for one of them to start explaining. "And I know you two were up to something. The incriminating looks on your faces just makes you so busted."

---
Offside, Angel was still in shock. Everything that just unfolded in front of him- it was too much. "This... this day- this time... this never really happened," Angel muttered, shaking his head. "It couldn't- I'd have remembered something like that. I-I mean..."

"Oh no, that day very much happened," Doyle replied coolly, walking up from behind the shadows. "Along with every event that followed and preceded it. That was only a fragment..."
---

Angel, instead of giving Buffy an explanation, looked down at the innocent young child who had begun clinging to her mother's leg. She resembled her mother in so many ways- most notably her ability to copy most of Buffy's expressions and even the simple genes- like her blonde hair. Kat's eyes locked on his scoldingly, it was almost as if she knowingly condemned him- but only for a moment. Sometimes Angel even forgot how similar to his own that her eyes actually were. It wasn't long after, however, that the stubborn expression (which could only have been replicated from her mother) shifted into an undeniably adorable smile. She let out a tiny stifled giggle that resembled more of a snicker, while she clutched onto Buffy's pantleg tighter, "Daddy's busss-teeed."

As a very human Angel looked into her eyes for what was probably the last time ever, he felt something hit him harder than a speeding subway train. The guilt and pain of knowing that... he'd just surrendered everything he had.