Notes: So today I ate some pizza... it was quite good might I add... and I thought to myself... perhaps I should add a bit of angst today. Following my own suggestion, I have decided to make another chapter- hoorah for Java! Also remember, this is not meant to be inconsistent with BtVS or AtS in any way. Attack me if it is so I can save the story before its too laaaate -echos-

Thanks: Yay. Alice & Danielle rock for ever.

Borrrgjaaeldkfg

"So... 'splainy?" Buffy was having difficulty keeping up with Angel's pace for some reason, it was obvious that what just happened back there probably meant bad news. The fact that he even refused to look her in the eye cessed out that his anger was at an undeterminable level. Still, regardless of his failure to give a damn about her presence, she felt the need to prod him for more information. Not only were there questions that still needed answering, she wanted to know what was going on in his life. Things were different, that was undeniable, but the least she could do would be to figure out a bit more of what he had been going through in Los Angeles. Maybe then she could begin to understand him a little more.

"Really not in the mood," Angel snapped all-too-quickly, continuing his brisk walk away from the building. Talking wasn't exactly his forte, and he was not about to start. On top of all that, what they had just experienced back there was a result of Wolfram & Hart's craftsmanship. There was nothing to be explained there, at least not that Angel was able to understand.

"Angel!" Buffy reprimanded the vampire as she whipped out her hand and grasped his by locking it about his wrist. Her expression shifted from soft and encouraging to angry and accusing, "You can't just- just walk away from everything!"

"Watch me," Angel muttered, trying to shake his arm from her grasp but to no avail. "You don't know what it's been like, you don't know what I've been through... and it doesn't matter. It shouldn't. The only one who I share it with is me." With that said, there was a brief silence between the two ex-lovers, and Angel was the one to break it soon after. This time, his tone of voice took a much less driving and forceful approach. He continued quietly, "And that's not going to change." He let out a sigh and stared up at the blackening night sky. Who was he kidding? He should never have come here, it was better when they were apart. It was easier that way.

"Maybe I want to know," Buffy suggested, letting out an equally agitated sigh. "Maybe I want... to be able to hear how your day was- what you've been through and the things you do out here. We live different lives, Angel, I understand that... but there's no reason we can't just-" She stopped herself, letting out a sigh of her own at her own proposal, "It doesn't make any sense, Angel. I want to listen- I want to know... we should be able to just-"

"Talk," Angel finished again, just as he did before. "We can't just talk. Don't you understand? That," he pointed back towards the direction from whence they came, "That, all that happened back there- it was us, trying to just talk."

Angel looked back at the spot he was pointing towards while Buffy's eyes followed his finger. For a moment, there was another threatening wave of silence, but this time, laughter sliced into the the tense tranquility. Buffy was very close to completely cracking up. "You're right," she choked out between bursts of uncontrollable laughter. "That's us," she sniffed, taking a breath, "Just- just talking. I guess..." she was unable to control herself now, letting out a soft snort. In the process of doing so, she was able to trigger a hint of a smirk and (although he probably would never admit it) a slight chuckle out of Angel as well, before finishing. "We're kinda down on luck, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I guess we are," Angel admitted in a much lighter mood than he had previously been in. Despite the fact that Angel was just previously convinced he wasn't going to do any sharing or talking with anyone, he suddenly felt the urge to tell her everything- to spill out the events of the past two years right then and there. He felt ridden with guilt and just wanted someone else to carry some of the burden on their shoulders. She would forgive him, he already knew that and had already decided it earlier. Maybe then, after sharing and after her acceptance, he could reach some sort of peace of mind... anything to just make it all stop. That possibility lost all of its glory as soon as Buffy's worried voice disrupted his thoughts.

"Uhh, Angel?"

"Mmmm?"

"Do you know where we are?"

"Nope," he answered simply. He had absolutely no clue where Lilah had dragged him, he was too busy being unconscious to really get a good look at any scenery. The sad fact was, however, that he at least knew what direction to head in, and he didn't care to discuss the details as to how he could manage to figure that much out. "We're not too far, though," He suggested quietly. When he received a puzzled and almost demanding glance from Buffy, he sighed- defeated. "Vampire. The scent.. it-I just know," Angel finished sheepishly.

"Ah... right," Buffy concluded, nodding to herself in regret for even bothering to bring up the question. She was used to it by now, but the fact that it had made him uncomfortable had somehow managed to make her feel slightly less comfortable as well. Buffy should have paid attention to where Lilah had been taking her, but she had been too taken aback by the ambush and trying to ensure Angel's safety that the last thing she worried about happened to be where they dragged them. That was of no consequence, however, Angel knew where he was going... or so she hoped. At least he sounded confident, and that was reassuring, if anything.

"So umm," Angel closed his eyes, shaking off another wave of pain that threatened his back. Damn Kate. Trying to just shrug it off, he barely hesitated. "How's Sunnydale? With... Dawn and Willow and everyone?" He figured he may as well start out with the basics of a potentially casual conversation. Besides, as long as he could keep his mind off any of the more pressing matters at hand, then hopefully he wouldn't end up having to bring them up. If only he would be so lucky.

"Same old same old. You'd think while I was dead they'd at least make an effort to expand the mall." Unfortunately for Buffy, her attempt of a joke didn't bring even a hint of a smile to Angel's face. Well why did he always have to be so negative or serious? She admitted to herself that sometimes he could really be compared to the social equivalent of a brick wall. "That was a joke, Angel..." She cocked her head, looking up at him expectantly.

"Sorry, just thinking."

"And, in doing that, you lead me to believe that nothing good can possibly be said after you're through. Are you gonna... you know, express those thoughts anytime soon?" What was wrong with that vampire? He always seemed to be thinking as of late. Perhaps some things really had not changed...

"Was it just me or did Lilah kinda... not have her heart in it today?" When Buffy just gave him a blank stare, he sighed. "If there's one thing I've learned out here, it's not to underestimate Wolfram & Hart. It doesn't make sense to me. First they send Lilah out, they intend for me to... attack or kill you- I still haven't quite figured that minor detail out... but that's not even the jist of it. Then Kate comes along as well. Why would they send her to do any of the follow up work? I mean, Lilah could have handled everything on her own, she didn't really have any risks or... problems. You know, now that I think of it... Lilah wasn't really there for anything but moral support-"

"And she's so bad at the moral part. Okay, well... and the support too..."

"You can say that again," Angel muttered.

"How long has Wolfram & Hart been at your throat, Angel? What did you do to piss off an entire law firm?"

"I got a soul," he responded simply. That was probably the only reason they happened to be so interested in him. He was supposed to be important or something of that nature. It had something to do with an apocalypse or two, that was almost a given. Whatever the reason, he just knew they were driving him insane. "They didn't like another player in town... I'm too much of a threat because with me around, they can't do all their dirty dealings. I've slammed the door in their faces more times than they can count. They're evil, pure evil... and they harvest themselves here on Earth because they are able to thrive off the sin, evil and disruption that human beings cause."

Wow... that was deep. It was also something Buffy didn't want to be reminded of at the moment. The pain, suffering and evil in the world- she wished none it had existed. If that were the case, then maybe coming back to live in this hell wouldn't have been as difficult as it was. "Take off your shirt." Buffy firmly demanded pretty much out of the blue.

Angel turned around, giving her a glare that read off to be completely confused. He paused a moment, narrowing his eyes, "Excuse me?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, stepping closer to him and tugging on the sides of his shirt. "Off. Now." He opened his mouth to protest, but Buffy was quicker on the rebound response. "Don't argue," she snapped, tugging once more and then staring up at him innocently. "Please?" After a heavy sigh and an almost embarrassed swallow later, Angel did as he was told without further questioning. Buffy turned his shoulders slightly so she could get a good look at his back, running her hands down it gently. "They're pretty deep," she observed both quietly and sympathetically. She took a moment to finger the bullet wound that was situated between his shoulder blade and spine. She was able to infer from the sudden shudder and arching of his shoulders accompanied by a near-agonizing (and not well hid) gasp... that the pain was still raw. His sudden gasp had caused her to pull back immediately, quickly reprimanding her actions. "S-sorry. Do... do you have anything that I can use to-"

"In my car," Angel replied solemnly, beginning to walk ahead again. The last thing he wanted to admit to her right now would be just how warm and welcoming her hands across his back had felt. The quicker they got the bullets taken care of, the better. Then everything would be alright... he could take her back to Sunnydale and along the way, they could talk like civil beings. After that, they would say their goodbyes and return to living their very separate lives... apart from each other... trying to forget. After another couple long minutes of silence, they had made it back to where Angel had parked his car. He tossed his shirt in the back of the convertible, pulling out a fresh one similar to it from the backseat to put on when she had finished.

"That's... convenient," Buffy pointed out for lack of anything better to say. Had he planned for some sort of ambush or attack since he had a shirt all prepared just in case? "So umm... nice... car," she admired the set of wheels a few moments, fighting to hold back a snicker. Never before had she actually been able to picture Angel driving. That was an odd concept all in itself... but then again how else would he have gotten anywhere? Muchless here... but ...he drove a car! "Still, no idea why you have a convertible... open top, sunlight... not really all that vamp- friendly. I think you were ripped off."

"I got a deal on it," Angel replied simply, eying her for a few moments. Did she really find him driving to be that hilarious? "What's so funny?"

"You gotta car," Buffy spat out quickly, bursting into laughter while the words lingered in the air. "That's funny." In the meantime, Angel had puled out a First Aid Kit from his trunk and placed it in Buffy's hands rather bitterly. He wasn't angry, but he was at least trying to act like she had somehow managed to hurt his feelings. Unfortunately, she wasn't exactly buying it. "Oh come on, Angel... you gotta admit... it's at least a teensy bit funny!"

His mixture of a grunt and a huff was a satisfactory answer for the Slayer. She hopped into the backseat and motioned for Angel to come and sit in front of her. She pulled out her choice weapons- the cream of the crop, and a devious smirk lit up her face. It was operation time.

"Why do I suddenly get the feeling I should be running for my life?" he commented dryly, watching her all-too-happy smile with a pair of tweezers.

"Just sit down," she commanded, waiting for him to do so. After he did, she let out a sigh before going to work on prying out the bullets. Angel wasn't too happy about her unartful bullet-dislodging skills. He was happy to point that out with exaggerated flinching and whimpering throughout the entire experience. When she finally managed to pull one out, the triumph crossed her proud smile, "I got one!"

"ONE?" Angel whipped his head back around to glare at her, bubbling with all sorts of emotions- pain and anger being of the most frequent. "All that, and you just got ONE?"

"I thought I did good! I-It's not like I pull bullets out of people all that often," she retorted back with a roll of her eyes. "So touchy." When she lifted her arms up again to begin on the second bullet, Angel reached back to grab her hand. She stared at his hand a few moments, swallowing softly. Why did he have to do that? Darn that vampire! She managed to choke out his name scoldingly, "A-Angel..."

"You really don't need to do this, Buffy- it's not like they won't help me out when I get back..."

"By then it'll be mostly healed up," she responded defensively. "It's better to get them out now..." and a smile crossed her features while she tacked on, "before you start setting off metal detectors wherever you go!" Without further ado, she went to work on the second bullet, managing to pull it out quicker and more efficiently than the last one. Needless to say, the fewer gasps and winces were proof of said fact. "There, see? That wasn't so bad." She then took a few moments to run her fingers across the tender bullet wounds that were already beginning their healing process. "And it's just like..." Just like what, exactly? Like before- like he used to be before she unleashed the demon inside him? Every memory she had that involved the two of them together brought her nothing but pain. It wasn't because she hated Angel or that he had hurt her intentionally... it was because they were forbidden to be together. That knowledge killed her. She wanted to stab whatever psycho created the catch phrase that 'knowledge is power.' They could not have been further from the truth.

He closed his eyes, relieved that the bullets were finally out and relaxing beneath the warmth that her hands provided. He took a few more moments of basking in her touch before turning around to look her in the eyes, relishing at the pride expressed in her features. Apparently she was particularly proud of herself for being able to dislodge the bullets with minimal difficulty- and she was radiating with happiness as well. This was how it was supposed to be, he rarely got to see her enough as it was- let alone seeing her happy. That was why he constantly thought of the day that never was, because it was the strongest memory he retained that he could remember her so carefree and content... That was something he was not able to give her. Not now, and not like this.

"I... really... think I should..." Buffy didn't want to finish that sentence. She knew she had to get back to Sunnydale, she had things to take care of. She was beginning to feel guilty for dumping all the bills and Dawn onto Giles and rushing out the door like some hurricane Buffy. "With Dawn..." She added quietly, the incomplete fragment finishing up her thought just in case Angel didn't catch on.

"It's probably best if you did," Angel painfully assured her. He had understood what she was going to say long before she added Dawn's name into the mix, but he was not about to let her leave like this. They still needed to talk about things, as much as it pained him to admit that to himself. "I want you safe," he said simply, "I'll take you back." After another silence he stupidly added (as if it were not already evident), "In my car."

"I slay demons and vampires every single night, Angel. What makes you think that some random wannabe-mugger on a city bus is... going... to..." but much to her frustration, that seemed to be as far as her thoughts were going to take her this time. Was it so very wrong to feel herself becoming trapped beneath that... admiring... penetrating... and almost hurtful gaze? She hated to admit it, but those eyes still had more power over her than she was aware of. "I'm sorry," she apologized quickly, quietly. "...Was I... talking?"

"Wasn't important."

"Okay good."

----

Muahaha... next chappie soon. This fic is wrapping up... :( Sad, huh? But no worries, because the sequel will clear up anything still sketchy by the end of this one. Please review or umm- club me with a stick if you may. Thanks! And yes, I DID intend to name this chapter Borrrgjaaeldkfg. Does it not explain this chapter very well? Admit it.