Notes: Like I said, I'm not really noting much anymore. I BIG thanks to the continuous support of everyone. Y'all make me feel quite special... and I write for you! ALSO- If you are able, I am in need of an extra consultant for parts of my next story/sequel (Unbidden) so... if you're into AtS 5, I'd love to have your assistance for reasons we can discuss over PMs. So don't be afraid to mail me, I don't bite.

Special Thanks: Who would I be if I were not to thank my dearest pals Alice and Danielle for their continued support and... beta-ness? Without them, this story would not be storyful! This one's for you guys. I think something bad happened to alice though. :( If you read this hun, I still love you!

A Different Place, A Different Time

Buffy was just leaning closer when she suddenly realized what was about to happen. It looked as if Angel had come to a similar conclusion at the same time, as he let out an agitated sigh and drew back slightly. His words that accompanied this action sliced through her heart like a meat-cleaver of sorts, "If we let something happen here... now..."

"We'll want more," Buffy choked out, knowingly. She was so frustrated, it was simply radiating off of her body. "But Angel," she pleaded, looking up at him so innocently, so painfully, "I don't even care anymore." She swallowed, trying to fight the lump forming in her throat. "I-I... just being back here now, and everything- i-it's so confusing and I just wish I... I don't even care. I really wish I did... like maybe then I'd have some sort of conscience left in me, some type of will o-or willpower, but I don't. Angel, I DON'T CARE!"

Angel had to close his eyes in order to keep from being distracted by the haunting glare she held against him. He should have known this whole trip was not a good idea, it was all just going to fall apart on them again. They should not have met. This theory was definitely not probable, though. He knew he had to see her after she had returned. The whole concept of her revival had seemed too good to be true. And it was. Right now, he could not ask for anything more than simply having her by his side. "Buffy we... I know... it is confusing. Maybe... maybe we should just get going now," he suggested, hoping that offering a subject change might shift the mood in the air. Well, that was successful, but the mood received wasn't necessarily the one he had hoped for.

"And that's it?" Buffy bit back her lip, almost surprised she had just said what she did. "That's all then? We go back and... and live and pretend-"

"Buffy, please... don't start this with me. Not now, okay?"

"Why? Because we aren't in a sewer? I mean that is, after all, the perfect heartbreak setting, right?" She whipped her head the other way- anything just to keep from facing him right now. "I get it. I don't need you to say anything, alright? I get it, really."

"No, that's not- Buffy, will you just listen to me? Just for a little bit? Maybe if things were different, maybe if I could- I don't know. Things wouldn't work, even if I came back now, it wouldn't work. It took me a long time to realize that, and I don't want to even believe that much."

"How could you? How could you act like- like you care and," Buffy shook her head, grasping for words. "Just nevermind. Like I said, I don't care anymore. I'm going home," she started to get up and scoot towards the car door, but Angel grasped her arm and pulled her back defensively.

"Oh no, you are not leaving on that note," he demanded, staring her in the eyes. "That's not what I meant and you know it!" He retorted childishly.

"Like I already said, Angel... I. don't. care," she annunciated through gritted teeth. "Now let go of me, you're making this harder than it has to be." Even though she did everything in her power to divert her gaze from his, she found herself instinctively looking back up into his eyes. "Please... quit making it harder."

"This isn't supposed to be easy, Buffy," he countered, locking onto her eyes with a knowing and condemning glare. "It makes sense when we're together, we're stronger that way," Angel admitted while the brief memories of his run-in with the Mohra demon falling back to him momentarily caused his voice to falter. "But that's exactly why we can't be with each other, we're needed... in separate places to save separate lives- to save souls."

"Right. The souls, gotta be all about them souls," she retorted bitterly.

"And if it weren't for you, I'd still be living aimlessly in the streets in Manhattan, so don't think for a second that-"

Buffy chuckled, "You actually think I can formulate a thought right now?" She shook her head in disbelief. Did he even understand what he did to her? Obviously not since the stoic look on his face spoke more than any words would be able to. After her laughter died down, something seemed to tug at the back of her unstable mind. It had been bugging her since before the catastrophic run-on happened with Wolfram and Hart. Before they had even began their attempt at 'just talking.' She drummed her fingers on the side of the door in slight contemplation before licking her lips and letting her curiosity get the best of her. "So, uhh... Angel... why here?"

"Huh?" Angel blinked in confusion at the sudden change of both her mood and the subject.

"Oh, don't even pretend there wasn't a method to your madness, you have got to have had a reason to have picked this place- above all other place-like places- for us to meet... it's like... it's familiar. You knew that, I know you knew that!" Buffy accused with a glare and a slight whine while trying to figure it all out. "Weeeell?"

Angel took a few moments of silence before he finally offered her a valid response. "I'm kinda more surprised that you don't remember," Angel was almost disappointed, but tried not to show it. "It was the first place I ever saw you having fun," he stated without any further contemplation. When she proceeded to stare blankly at him yet again, he sighed. "Back when you were first Called," Angel shifted slightly, "When Whistler'd instructed me to watch you for a while- I..." Stopping a moment, he realized exactly how stalker-like that had sounded. "Okay, well what I mean to say is-"

"Angel, you're the best stalker I know, if that's any reassurance. Don't try to hide it," Buffy joked, "So are you going to finish spitting those thoughts out anytime soon or am I going to have to beat them out of you?.. Cause I figured you already know that I don't really have a problem with that."

"Well..." Angel continued, seemingly in thought. "You were new to the whole slaying thing. It was so different and difficult for you to adapt to, and I watched for quite some time before I- ... but... the first time I had been able to see you feel relaxed o-or at least semi-happy since you had been Called was, well, after you'd came out of that building with your father. I thought that maybe if we met here that perhaps it might-"

Might what? Bring about some sense of emotional sadness? No... perhaps he had meant to give her some sort of security... Angel wanted the familiarity of this chosen location to suppress her frustration and confusion from being resurrected from the dead. It was a clever sedative strategy that the Slayer was almost in awe of. Buffy turned her head back around to take a good look at the building, the strong urge to visit it one last time overpowering her senses and beckoning her forward. She did not need to hear the rest of what he had to say to understand his honest intentions, "Can we go in?" she'd cut him off and asked weakly. "I-I... wanna... just to..." her voice cracked ever-so-slightly, "j-jog my memory."

Angel had not truly figured out that ice skating was some childish passion of Buffy's until she had explained it to him herself, but he was glad that she still wanted to explore the arena. Although it had been abandoned for at least two years now, memories may serve to be at least semi-friendly to someone who was desperately grasping for something familiar to cling to for some sort of stability in this hellish world. Then again, the fact that it was abandoned and obsolete may only bring about an equal amount of pain. Angel decided he may be at a loss here but, nonetheless, he let out a defeated sigh. "Yeah, I think we can."

While Buffy got out of the car, Angel slipped into his spare shirt, buttoning it up hurriedly. She stood outside the car, planted at the spot for the time being. She concluded that perhaps she would decide to move when Angel reached her side. He walked up to her slowly now, placing his hand on the small of her back, "Are you sure?" He had to inquire, just to be positive that this was what she wanted to do, although he already knew what her response would be. Even with that statement, he began to guide her toward the abandoned building, eventually dropping his hand back down at his side.

"You know what I'm going to say," Buffy replied absently, her hand grasping for his almost immediately after he had dropped it. Although she could not exactly fathom why she did such a thing, perhaps it was out of sheer instinct or routine, but it simply felt right. Angel had been right earlier, however, they could not let anything happen. They both had to keep their heads because if they lost focus for two seconds in this screwed up lifestyle of theirs, terrible consequences could arise.

They both walked up to the entrance which was, surprisingly, (just like everything else mysterious in BtVS and AtS) unlocked and easily accessible. Upon entering, Buffy seemed to know precisely where to go. It was almost as if the information had always been in her mind, and now it was struggling to break free. She pulled Angel through the hallway and straight into the arena. The ice had long since been removed, simply because the rink was out of commission for good, but she sauntered into the (surprisingly un-corroded) bleachers. Settling down in the middle of one of the sections, she stared out at the empty rink with an unreadable expression. Sure, it was no Route 17 rink, but it was welcoming all the same. "You know... it's kinda... well, I mean... sure it's sorta empty and- and gone and not really skateable... but it's still homey," Buffy assured with a nod. "Definitely homey."

"Glad to hear it," Angel smirked at her struggle for an explanation, but let out a relieved sigh when he realized it did not trigger any of her less positive reccollections."How long... has it been now since you've... well, skated?"

"The last time?" Her brows knitted with the thought of such a concept, "Definitely when we- the last time I went skating, I was being pursued by that... crazy... order of Tucaca?"

"Taraka."

"Right." She heaved a hopeless sigh and began to think. "...When things would get crazy," Buffy started, clasping her hands together between her knees now as she stared blankly at the un-occupied and empty space that had once been a skating rink, "and I'd be all stressed out, you know?-I mean, it wasn't easy being, well, obviously popular and keeping my cool status at the same time... I'd beg my-" but then she stopped. What exactly was Hank to her? Father? Dad? None of those, really, and she did not know exactly what to refer to him as. It was not even like he had bothered to call after the death of her mother, or bothered to check up on Dawn...

"I-I'd ask to come here. Like I said, always had that strange obsession with Dorothy Hamill... and when I was here... even for a little while, I could... well, I could be her. I was able relax and live my dreams. Maybe... maybe it was childish a-and stuff but... It was so relieving to get away from my parents fighting, away from school and stress, away from... from... life." She swallowed at the last word she tacked-on, trying desperately to fight back tears she had no idea as to why they were threatening her. "After I saw my first vampire... I'd been so shaken... I got to come here. A-after that though, not long after, they put me in a mental institution when I tried to explain... but for a little while... here, I was safe- I could escape. I can't do that anymore, Angel. I can't relax. Back there i-it's just like... everyone expects so much from me and I don't even know where to begin! I-I just really wish I could- I... I can't be everything," her voice had been wavering now, and the vampire had not failed to notice this. "I can't keep living in this world, not with these choices and this confusion... I don't think I was meant to," she argued, closing her eyes.

"No, you were meant to," Angel assured her, pulling her against him in a comforting embrace. "I know it because I can feel it," he continued.

"I wish I could believe you. I can't believe," she sniffed, gripping his arm in frustration, "... I-I still can't believe I'm here. You think there's gotta be a reason for it, right? Gotta be a-a purpose?"

"I asked alot of the same questions when I'd come back," Angel sighed, rubbing her back gently. "It's hard, Buffy, but it was meant to be."

"Always so cryptic," Buffy smirked, wiping her eyes quickly and leaning back to look over at him. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to that crypticness."

"You don't have to go through this alone," Angel suggested quietly.

That caught her attention. Alone. He was right, she did not have to go through this alone, she had- no, wait... she did not have anyone she could trust with her true feelings back home. The others, they would surely flip if they heard her side of the story. Giles expected her to be some type of mother-like figure for Dawn... to take responsibility and pay bills and... and Willow had been so proud... it would break the witch's heart to know she had pulled the Slayer out fo Heaven. Xander, Anya and Tara- they did what they believed was right... Now she was alone. Spike knew... about her being in Heaven. Wow, she really was alone. She could not bear to factor Angel into her life, that would be too stressful right now- way more confusing and troublesome than she wanted to deal with right now. Everyone expected so much of her, yet nobody knew what was truly inside of her. Except maybe Angel... but he could not be there... he should not. "No... I don't have to," Buffy replied flatly, swallowing with finality and standing up, "But I'm gonna have to."

Angel grabbed her arm, "Buffy-"

She closed her eyes, trying to block out everything around her. Everything that made her feel any sense of security, the memories of her younger years, the skating, Heaven, being with Angel, everything seemed to either come at a price or be ripped away from her. "Well... that's the price of being a Slayer, I s'pose."

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So I stretched this a bit. Go me. Don't like it? Tough luck... just flame me. Actually wait- please only do it if it's constructive XD. Really, I'd appreciate a review, however- but yeah... If I get fifty, I swear I'll give everyone a hug. Next chappie? The car ride home... heh... oh, and Buffy gets chicken! You cannot forget this vital turning point in BtVS. She gets chicken. For real. You may be asking yourself why it is so important that she gets chicken. YOU WILL SEE.
Sorry again it took so long, midterms and I also promised Id update FoR. I did. heh... so other'n that, life's good. I love my readers. -Javy