An Awakening.
Had her eyes been thoroughly closed for the entirety of her life?
Rose DeWitt Bukater could only examine the reflection of the young woman before the oval, golden mirror. It was beautiful, expensive and yet all things of material value had never mattered to her but she had been brought up to take them for granted. Brought up to expect them. The majority of things were handed to her on a silver platter and there was not so much of a 'please' or 'thank you', yet her manners were examined consistently, if one even spoken a decibel out of tone, took a step wrong during the waltz, used the wrong fork at luncheon, it was almost a national scandal. Such small things which seemed to matter very much to everyone and yet not at all. Her engagement to Pittsburgh steel tycoon, Caledon Hockley had saved her family from the great fall from grace. Her mother had planned the entire wedding to take place in the summer. Rose had well and truly been wrapped inside layers and layers of silk since birth, the thought of stepping outside of it, although frightening, had always appealed to her. Women didn't walk away from a handsome, rich fiance, with wonderful prospects. One didn't shun material value. One would almost be committed to a mental institute and never see the light of the day again if she did. If she didn't follow the rules…
There were rules. Always goddamn rules. So many of them. There were mindless peers, who believed that their opinion mattered, that one should live by the rules written in the imaginary societal book, although no one had ever read it. It was ingrained into them all. No one strayed past the barriers of first class.
Until now…
There was a stirring in the deepest, darkest waters of her soul. As though it was summoning a long lost ghost. A strange, overwhelming urge was coming across her and echoing with a thunderous volume to simply run out into the storm. And so she had.
Jack Dawson had introduced himself, one erratic night that she had believed herself about to be thrown across a precipice. She was stifled, lost, controlled, completely unaware of her own competence and yet, inspired and romanticised the idea of death within her mind. It was the one way out. It had to be. What else was left for her, aside from the darkest depths of misery and the embers of the fire which she had tried so damned hard to stroke was slowly burning out. Perhaps it already had withered away to nothing, and the eternal flame blown out by the need to satisfy every other person in her life, aside from herself.
Jack's hand, though, had offered her some sort of solstice but within the depths of blue, she had witnessed a strange freedom. Seeing him had caused that stirring to start, as though her heart was awakening. Her eyes were awakening from a long, long sleep and she was starting to see clearly. Ever so slightly more clearly. How had she been hiding in the darkness for so long, when the light was there to see, all she had to do was reach out for it?
Courage. Maybe. Jack had given her that. His raw, brutal honesty, though shocking to the core, had caused her to witness his world, to see her own with a new vision and it wasn't the way that she wished to live. It was an enticing, beautiful freedom which he had led her to. Nothing else seemed to matter any longer.
She was a woman. She was proud to burn for a man. To be desired. To be wanted. She was completely shaken. To the very core. Seeing the reflection now before her, replacing the one just two evenings prior, when she had just recovered from almost throwing herself into the dark abyss of the Atlantic. If there had ever been an intervention from fate, that had to be it, didn't it? Why was it that very precise moment that he had come towards her? Why did Jack come to her? Why was he out lying on the bench at almost midnight? So many endless threads which seemed to not tie together until this very evening when it had entwined in one tidy bow.
Is life planned, or do you make your own luck? Are we predestined to meet, or is everything purely by chance? Are coincidences real, or synchrony?
I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it, you never know what hand you get dealt next, you need to be willing to take life as it comes as you. To make each day count.
The woman, with a steely gaze and cleansed of insecurities, of fear and control stared back and she had a smile. A thought of her own. Two days ago, Rose had been offered a chance to open her heart to Cal, for him to take her to his bed, make her the little wifey in practice that he had always wanted. But never what she wanted. Instead, she had followed her own rules; opened her heart to another man, given herself freely to him and in return, she had been dealt another cruel hand, had he stolen the necklace from her?
Whilst Jack had awoken the parts of her long dead, or never existing, she had also trusted him with her entirety. He had summoned her heart and claimed it so beautifully, that she would never imagine that he was capable of such a crime. The heaviness which had once existed every day within her stomach, upon her shoulders once again emerged.
''When a man loves a woman, he provides for her, just the way that I do for you. He shall ensure that she has the finest things. I have condoned your disobedience, your melancholia, your silly, adolescent notions and I have said very little but this stupid infatuation with a gutter rat shall end now. I don't understand you.''
Cal's eyes burned into hers. His rage kept at bay somehow, but she could see the effects her actions had on him. Her care was simply lost though. Rose's mind remained on the one person who had shattered her entire soul. Jack's affect on her was completely undeniable. He had been her awakening. Cal had been her slow death; contorting her into a version of a woman she would never be. Once upon a time, she would accept it. Now she wouldn't. She had gathered strength, an understanding of not just her own wants but her needs too. It was as though all illusions of herself were completely shattered and what had emerged was another person, almost entirely.
''No, you will not understand me, for you are not a woman who has been trapped and bullied her entire life.'' Her eyes went back to the mirror, watching her own face; how her chin was high. Even with how tired she felt, how her heart raced for Jack to be arrested and taken from her, how the ship could sink, there was a strength there and a determination which he had gifted her with.
She could do this.
She would do this.
She didn't need him. She wanted him.
Rose was capable of becoming anything that she wished to be, now that she had awoken.
''A woman's place in society is to marry, you have childish notions in your mind of what a marriage should be. Now, you become a whore to a man who is far beneath you, yet, you seemed to be very happy to join him there in the bowels of Hell.''
Rose's head snapped up, turning to face Cal, she felt her temper rise.
''Yes, I am. We both know that he was not the one who stole the diamond. We both know that I am not to be your wife.''
''So you will become his muse to dally with until he becomes bored?''
''Yes, I should like that. He has passion, determination, an outlook on life quite similar to my own.'' Rose paused, her fingers landing upon the diamond and ruby bracelet which had been gifted to her by Cal the Christmas before. It should have dazzled her, instead, she was void of sentiment. She circled her index finger around the fine gold and twinkling facets. Next to it was her engagement ring. The decadent circle of metal which bound her to one man. A promise of a life, of honour and obeying. She pushed her finger through the ring, toying with it as though it was meaningless and the diamonds twinkled beneath the lamplight. They failed to dazzle her as they initially had.
''One speaks of becoming a whore for an artist, when in fact I was offered nothing for my part played. Yet, here I was, just two nights ago, offered a priceless diamond in exchange for what? To open my heart, or to invite you to my bed?''
The question was startling to them both. As Rose kept trailing the pads of her fingers across the fine ring, she sensed Cal's nearness as he approached but felt no need to consult the mirror for confirmation.
''You are my wife in practise.''
''So my affections were indeed purchased, or attempted to be.'' Rose straightened, as she turned they were almost an inch from each other's face. ''I fear I do not carry a price tag, Cal. I never needed all of this in exchange to become your wife, but I never would become infatuated by you, either.''
''It does seem that he speaks for you now, does he? Brainwashed you with this idiotic-''
''No!'' Rose brought her hands to her chest, feeling the stress mounting. Feeling the need to scream, just as she wished to before, except this time, she might. ''Will you never listen to me? Never listen to me just because I am a woman! You know my affections have never matched yours. My heart has never beat for you.'' Rose started forwards, crossing away from him inside her bedroom, but he was just behind her and she prayed that the suffocation would be kept at bay. She breathed, the calmness which usually overcame her when Jack was present failing to come to light now.
''Do not just walk away from me.'' Cal warned, his voice raising within seconds. ''You look at me when I am talking to you-'' His hand reached out to grasp her own but she pulled it away, snatching herself away from his grip.
''Put your hands on me like that again and I will scream so loud that all of the ship will hear me.'' Her eyes were in flames, severity in them, warning him away like a red light.
''You would do no such thing!''
''Yes, I would,'' Rose retaliated, her voice raised, so that perhaps others could hear. ''I will not be dictated to any longer, least of all by you. You fail to worry that the ship may sink, fail to worry that you have sent an innocent man to be arrested for a crime that he didn't commit!''
''I worry for nothing. I just need to keep what is mine close to me.''
Cal's face was red, anger bit at him. At himself more than anything. Perhaps for allowing it to grow this wild and untamed.
''Well, I hope you find what is yours, Mr. Caledon Hockley for it certainly is not me.''
The chains had been broken. The ring was hurled at him and before he could catch it; Rose started again in the sitting room. He made no attempt to retrieve the ring, but it only caused his lividity to accelerate.
''Do not walk away from me when I am talking to you.''
Rose's body was pressed against the door by the strength of him. She didn't fight as his hot breath came against her cheek. Her eyes gained contact, seeing how much he was seething beneath that cool exterior which Philadelphia society seemed to know so well. Outwardly, he was a polished and put together man about to turn thirty years old and yet, here was a man about to fall apart due to not getting his own damned way; just like a child. Studying his reaction ensured she feared him less. What could she fear only with his upper hand? A cut and bruise would be gone in a few days. He would never do more than that for fear of his own reputation being in tatters.
''Rose, I have given you everything."
''Your money doesn't impress me. It never did. You think you can just bully me into doing whatever you deem is right for me to do."
''As a fiancé should. A woman has very little choice in this world, you know that. You were to obey me and allow me to protect you-''
''Protect me?'' She laughed. Her hand slipped her hair behind her ear to reveal the mark upon her face from his strike upon her cheek in the sitting room after Jack had been arrested. ''Yes, you do protect me.''
''You forced me into that. You're Goddamned temper and unruly state drives me to do the things which I do.''
''Yes, it was always my fault wasn't it? The adolescent pistol which cannot be handled correctly by the man she was about to marry."
Cal's eyes darkened; his body weight increased upon her. Rose allowed him to hurt her, to instil the fear within herself for she knew that she would never look in those dark eyes again and feel the fright that she had that very morning at breakfast.
''You knew just how to behave in front of the wonders of Society and yet, still chose to embarrass me, your mother and yourself.''
''How foolish of me,'' she breathed, ''how callous of me to enable others to think of me as something else other than an inanimate object."
''I was proud of you. PROUD! Before you allowed that piece of shits eyes on you."
''And what about his hands, too? You own nothing of me.''
''That would have changed if you would have allowed me into your bed and not been as frigid.''
Rose's hand came up and slapped Cal straight around the face and it caused him to back away immediately, fuelling his anger tenfold. Cal touched his cheek, it stung. It wasn't the first time that he had taken a hit to the cheek, although with this strike, he could feel the force behind it; he felt her hatred and the need to find out where it originated pecked at him more. Rose was not just a woman walking free of an engagement; she was changed, somehow. If not in body but in mind.
''Yes, you would have only been too happy to peel away my clothes and allow me into your bed to become some sort of whore for you.''
''Do not have such a filthy mouth-''
Regaining her stance, Rose cut him off. ''No, that would have been saved for the nights in your selfish bedchamber wouldn't it?''
''Selfish? You know nothing of how to act in the bedroom unless you have managed to find a place here to exercise yourself...''
As Cal said the words aloud, realisation seeped into his body. The steely black of his gaze seemed to increase. It had all come to the surface now. The anger. The absolute surprise within his face, as it did come towards him, was like he was searching the depths of hell for some kind of sign of God.
Rose decided at that moment that she would find Jack. He would not go down with this ship. Not without a damned fight.
This wasn't just her awakening but Cal's too.