Jesus drives the XV-eighty-eight 'Broadside' Battlesuit
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It was yet another sunny day in Sonicland, or so it seemed to unquestioning eyes!
A silent war raged in absolute silence, between the forces of justice, good, and good taste, and the dark evil of shadowy blackness.
"Ahma tellz ya," Jesus, savior of humanity, not to mention super-star, called out from his vantage point deep within the armor plating of his trusty Broadside armor, which was crafted from solid gold "do not, ah repeat - DO NOT - question da justice and good delivered by mah railguns, or else you shalt feel their holy rage!"
It was more of a command than a general warning, however, Jesus stood mostly alone.
That is, if you don't count Michael Jackson, who was also mounted aboard an XV-eighty-eight. The only difference being that his suit was made out diamonds - yes, diamonds.
You fucker! Of course he can outbling Jesus - he's Michael Jackson; the Smooth criminal, Moonwalker himself, in the plastic.
Shut up.
Anyway, also at Jesus' side was a sixties robot, known as Shadow Stalker.
"I ascertain this to equal exceedingly dysphemistic!" the robot whined, followed by almost two minutes of bleeps.
However, the robot was not to be long-lived, for the fattest muslim known to man rushed it, and, shortly thereafter, detonated itself in a blast of robot parts and flesh.
"Yo, honky!" Jesus was mad! The loss of one of his dear comrades was keenly felt, but it was an illusion! "Tol ya white rawbots can't dance, yo!"
Michael didn't say a word, but proceeded to perform a moonwalk. In his robot sui- armor.
Everyone was stunned with awe!
Then Shadow came to visit.
"Here, lord of all," he gave Jesus a bouqet of flowers, but Jesus crushed it in one of his gold-plated hands, then leveled his railguns at the silly creature.
"That ain't weed!" Shadow turned to soup with a hyper-velocity whine, his earthly remains splattered all over Sonicland's endless fields of green, green grass. Not red, red wine.
And from this woeful tale, we learn that it's never a good idea to displease the son of god. Doing so may result in an unfortunate death, at the hands of twin-linked railguns.
To end things in a proper fashion, Michael Jackson and Jesus delivered some Bible blitz on the forces of evil, stole all their women, conquered the world using catchy music, converted all the muslims with the combined powers of diamond and gold, and proved the futility of violence by repeatedly grabbing their groins.
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VT2 - 2006 Bob - 2006