Crimson

Everyday, I look at the knife, and I wish I could put it to use. Kill myself, yes something saving myself from what I have done. Letting anger get in the way, hearing her. Staying in the same room as her was unbearable. I hated it. I miss her; I miss the way she kissed me. I miss the way she would talk to me in shallow whispers in the night. I miss the way I could hold her in my arms, the way she felt. The way she pressed her lips to mine, though in the back of my mind, I know, I will never have her the way I did once. Again.

Knowing something like this is something you cannot push away, and forget. No, the pain is too much. I know I shouldn't hold something like a grudge for so long. It has after all, been four months. She confessed to the crew, crying that she could no longer hide her true love. She and I are nothing. And in her eyes, were nothing and will never be anything. I am stuck though on the blasted ship, I hear them sometimes. There are no words to express the thoughts that race through my mind, I lie awake, in the night. Thinking, thinking of what I did wrong. Really, what did I do wrong? What had I done to make her hate me so? Memories come to my broken mind, memories, and the one of those last few precious days with her.

"This isn't about publicity. This is about us." Will's voice came coarsley, "Just listen to me Liz."

"Don't call me that," Her back was to him, and her hands were balled into very tight fists. "You don't understand, Turner. We are nothing, we were never anything. It was lust; don't make this harder for yourself."

"What? Harder, harder for me? Don't you mean you? Hmm? Are you confusing what you're doing with me? Is that it? Have you thought for these damn previous weeks, I haven't known. Well you've got something for you, your conscience will never be clear; you will always think of what you have done. And the consequences of your actions will be far worse than the shame brought upon yourself." By this time tears threatened violently in his eyes. "I didn't know you were so similar to a prostitute, you weren't like this when I wanted you, and you wanted me."

Elizabeth spun sharply on her heel, briskly slapping her palm against his face turning it a deep shade of red. "You have no right Will." Her gaze burnt holes in his heart, the cold stare she had given him. "William Turner, I… feel nothing for you." With that she spat at his feet, and threw her engagement band at the floor. "This is goodbye, for good."

"Will?"

His heart plummeted to his stomach, he had a feeling that this would happen soon. "Aye?" He called trying to hide every bit of pain he held deep down.

"Listen, I just came here, to tell you… to tell you that I'm. Well." She simply couldn't get her thoughts out, it was obviously too hard. She sat down on the cot next to him. "Okay I'm sorry, just don't be sour… How's that sound, do we have an accord?"

The lump in his throat grew as u tried to speak, knowing he couldn't. He abruptly nodded in approval.

"thanks for minding me." She said awkwardly standing up and slightly blushing.

"Just, just don't be mad anymore. Please." She looked directly into his eyes, as if she were trying to say I love you. "My heart will always have a place that belongs with you Will."

"As my heart; and love will always be yours." He tried to force a smile, though realizing quickly he couldn't, tears threatened in his eyes whispering in the back of his mind to let them fall.

"Oh Will, don't say that. You're going to realize that you were not in love with me. You'll find someone else. Just please don't fight with Jack. It isn't his fault. Its mine, and if you want to yell at anyone for it, yell at me." Now it was her turn to feel guilt. He could see it written on her face.

Just stop this. He thought bitterly. That was what he wanted for it all to stop and for her to fall in love, with him again, for her to talk so excitedly about our wedding plans.

"I'm sorry, it will always be over. We can never try that again. Guess this is goodbye. For now."

A/N-

Foreshadowing? Hmm? Think you like this Chapter sorry it took so long.