008. Fear
I Must Not Fear
"My patient is phobic," Wilson said with a mix of frustration and exasperation as he dropped into the chair in front of House's desk.
"Phobic about what?" House asked, looking interested.
Wilson rolled his eyes. "It's more a matter of what she's not afraid of."
"Is it genuine?" House asked suspiciously.
"As far as I can tell, yes," Wilson replied. "Her anxiety attacks are certainly genuine and her psychiatrist confirmed it. He said he's never treated someone with as many phobias as her."
"So keep whatever she's afraid of away from her," House said with a shrug.
"She's afraid of doctors," Wilson replied.
A smile flickered across House's face. "That's a problem." He paused and cocked his head to one side. "What's that one called?"
"Iatrophobia," Wilson replied. "I looked it up."
"Take off your lab coat," House suggested. "Then you won't look so much like a doctor."
"Except she's also afraid of cancer," Wilson said. "Carcinophobia."
House snorted. "Everyone's afraid of cancer. That one doesn't count."
"Her anxiety attacks say it does," Wilson countered. "She's also afraid of taking drugs. Pharmacophobia."
"Just as well I don't have that one," House said as he pulled his pill bottle out and swallowed a Vicodin.
"I thought about asking you to speak to her but she also suffers from pogonophobia," Wilson said blandly. House frowned at him and he grinned and said, "Fear of beards. That scruff of yours probably counts."
House looked insulted. "I thought you liked my stubble?"
Wilson flashed him a grin. "It's very manly," he said dryly. "You also get counted out because she's afraid of criticism. That one's enissophobia." He paused. "I suppose the only saving grace is she doesn't suffer from nosocomephobia."
House's eyes narrowed. "Fear of hospitals?"
Wilson nodded. "But she does suffer from trypanophobia. Fear of injections."
House actually started laughing at that one. "So what are you going to do?"
"Her psychiatrist is coming in," Wilson replied, a smile curving his lips. He didn't often manage to make House laugh but he always viewed it as a victory if he did. "Apparently he knows a way to convince her to have treatment."
House snorted. "Sedate her. That's what I'd do. If she's not awake, she can't be afraid."
"That's our last resort," Wilson replied. "Since she doesn't suffer from somnophobia, it'll work. But her psychiatrist would rather we try other options first. It might get a little inconvenient to have to sedate her every time she has a treatment."
"Have fun," House said dryly. "And let me know if she has any other interesting phobias."
Wilson got to his feet and grinned. "Did you know she suffers from philemaphobia?" he said as he walked around to the other side of the desk.
House leaned back in his chair. "And what might that be?"
Wilson leaned down until his face was close to House's. "Fear of kissing."
He moved forward a fraction more and watched as House's eyes flickered. Then he pulled back and walked out of the office, grinning at House's muffled curse.